Princess: Episode 1
by Sapadu
Summary: Not all padawans were normal. Not all Jedi are the same. And there are some who will be great... even if destiny says otherwise. The story of the Jedi Princess, Kendalina, the mutant, Triclops, and everything that propelled their lives forward.
1. Part I: Chapter 1

PRINCESS

Disclaimer: This story is about two characters from a series of Star Wars stories by Paul and Hollace Davids, whose stories I have never seen credited or honored online, and I would like to change that. Just like it's companion fic, The Headband, this story stars Kendalina and Triclops... when they were just kids, too. I did not create these wonderful characters that I love so very much, only the idea for this story belongs to me and I'm not even making money off of it.

Rating: R, for blatant abuse, violence, and just general insanity that goes along with the Star Wars universe.

Author's note: sigh This started off with a PG rating. Hard to believe how it's progressed. And all the stuff about Kendalina I made up about her family, her personality, her name, her background, etc... don't hate me for it. And, so you know, this starts off in 27 ABY, now...

Prologue

pro·logue /ˈproʊlɔg, -lɒg/ Pronunciation Key - [**proh**-lawg, -log noun, verb, -logued, -logu·ing.

–noun

1. a preliminary discourse; a preface or introductory part of a discourse, poem, or novel.

2. an introductory speech, often in verse, calling attention to the theme of a play.

"Master Retaw, do you really think that Master Yoda will let me train here?" Kendalina's tiny voice echoed quite loudly in the repulsor shaft. Mehgan Retaw, being not so sure herself, gave the soon-to-be padawan a glance that Kendalina had learned meant 'What does the Force tell you?' Kendalina, however, was one to want to hear reassurances from an actual person. Perhaps it was the mere level of trust she held in her teacher, or the lack of that same trust she held in the voices who she could not be assured were there. Mehgan still was not completely aware of this fact, but had also come to learn from Kendalina's glances when the child simply wanted to hear the words come out of her teacher's mouth.

"I am quite sure, or else I would not have brought you. It is whether or not you show capability and capacity to train that will determine if you will find successful training." The old Jedi lied, not looking at the face of the girl next to her.

Kendalina had brown hair, pulled into a braid on the side of her head like all other padawans. Her face was round, but thin, and her eyes, while still large and bright, were a kind of silvery color, never moving, and always unfocused. Her pupils were a pale shade of gray, compared to her irises, but it was difficult to tell, as they were already a very bright gray.

At last, the lift reached the top floor of the Jedi temple on Coruscant.

The Jedi didn't bother with buzzers or knocking on doors. If they were coming, the Jedi inside knew and were expecting them. Almost all of the Jedi council were already seated inside the round room.

Yoda's ears perked up at the sight of the six year old girl standing only as high as Mehgan Retaw's waist. He had seen in the future that this child would be coming, but the feelings he could sense from her through the Force were nothing like the feelings he sensed from other students when they came to be admitted into the temple. He had always felt emotions ranging from excitement to nervousness to sometimes impatience. This child was... blank...

It confused the tiny Master, to be frank.

"Ah. A young one, you bring before us today, Master Retaw." Yoda was not asking. He never asked questions except to test knowledge, and as he already knew about this, he needn't ask. Mehgan nodded, solemn as always, while the girl she had standing by her side continued to stare straight ahead, eyes unblinking, empty pupils boring into the air.

Master Windu on Yoda's right seemed to think she was staring at him, because he slightly gave her one of his looks. The girl didn't seem affected by it.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to Master Yoda?" Kendalina jumped as her teacher addressed her, then nodded and stepped forward, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she did so.

"Hi there, y'all! I'm Kendalina Orewahime from the Corellian System, ready to learn, and willing to train. Nice ta meecha!" Kendalina said, unusually chipper.

Mehgan hid her face in her hands. This is just what she had told Kendalina NOT to do.

::This is the littlun YOU brought in...:: Depa Billaba voice echoed in her head. It was a running joke between the two of them that the women Jedi were hopeless at finding apprentices. Mehgan threw the council member a look that bordered on being dirty.

"And a pleasure, for us, to meet you, it is." Yoda agreed, congenial as always. It had surprised a few of the council members at the girl's forwardness and chipper persona, but if Master Yoda approved, then there was no reason to consider her characteristics unusual or treat her likewise. The new padawan was very slightly puzzled.

"It's okay for me to do that?" She asked, her little brow creased in confusion.

"And why not?" Master Yoda replied, for almost all questions he answered with questions, himself.

"Because Master Retaw was really uncomfortable and if she's uncomfortable, that means I messed up." Kendalina explained, with the air of someone explaining the concepts of one and one adding up to two to an eight-year-old who didn't seem to understand it.

"But you still did." Master Yoda returned.

"And I know that it's okay, now. So there isn't any problem." Kendalina said, grinning and rocking back and forth on her heels.

Mace Windu raised his eyebrows and turned to his fellow council member, Ki-Adi-Mundi. The council member with the tall brow could only shrug at the silent question that passed between them. Neither Jedi Master was quite sure WHAT to think of this little girl before them.

If Yoda was having any troubles whatsoever, he was either hiding it, or saving it for later meditation.

"How long have you been under Master Retaw's teaching?" Mace Windu asked, leaning forward in his seat to see on a more eye level with the six- year-old and shooting a look at said Master Retaw, who was standing back, looking very uncomfortable.

"As long as I needed it." Kendalina's reply had a distinct edge to it, as though she could sense the subtle threat in Master Windu's voice. She stared fearlessly back into his eyes with a blankness that almost seemed to say that whatever penalty there was for a teacher to teach a student without the approval of the Council would NOT befall HER teacher.

"And did Master Retaw warn you that you would be questioned before the Council?" Asked the bat-eared Even Piell, who sat on Yoda's left. He too gave Mehgan a disapproving look. Kendalina's head turned and she ended up returning his gaze, square in the eye.

"That depends- how would you define a warning?" The girl answered, again with a tone in her voice that caused a few raised eyebrows. This girl... certainly had a kind of bite to her that no one was really used to, especially in a beginner. Indeed, it was a kind of confidence, as though something was advising her what to do, and, if anyone were to judge by the look on her Master's face, it wasn't Mehgan Retaw.

"Why have you been under her instruction up to this point?" Asked Ada Gallia, whom was watching Kendalina with concern.

"Because I would have died if I hadn't." Kendalina answered, with a bland shrug.

All eyes in the chamber turned on Mehgan Retaw, who was beginning to feel extraordinarily uncomfortable, before Depa spoke to Kendalina.

"Why don't you go sit outside, little one?" She offered, gently. Kendalina's head swiveled in her direction, a slight frown creasing her head.

"I'm okay standing- and there's still things you need to ask me..." Kendalina responded, before her teacher put a hand on her shoulder.

"Kendalina, she's excusing you from the room so we can talk about you behind your back." She said, flatly. Kendalina looked up at Mehgan, snickered, and then walked out, narrowly avoiding the door as it closed.

"Master Retaw, why did you choose to take this girl on as an apprentice, despite the Council not giving you permission to do so?" Mace Windu asked, almost as soon as the door had shut. Mehgan breathed and steadied her self for a reply. It was concise and blunt.

"I was sent on a mission to find Force adepts by the Council. I found her, but her family would not have permitted her to be taken from the house, so I was required to stay behind if she was to be trained." Mehgan explained, suppressing the desperation in her voice, and trying not to let her nervousness show at the look Mace Windu was giving her.

"In cases such as those, a Jedi will move on to find a new student- lingering behind like that prompts attachment." He told her, severely. Mehgan swallowed, a little too audibly.

"Her family was unnecessarily strict- I have no doubt that if I had done just that, she would have been killed by her own parents." Mehgan protested, firmly, but bland of tone, and didn't wait for the information to sink in, "It's not the Jedi way to allow infanticide and not prevent it."

The Council all passed a glance around among themselves, and finally seemed to accept it.

"And you have further reasons to continue training her?" Evan Piell asked, ears twitching with curiosity. Depa Billaba turned a similar questioning gaze upon her fellow Jedi, whose expression was either grim or perplexed.

"I believe that she will become a fine Jedi- she's shown an adept, natural talent for some of the minor arts without being instructed, and only needed a few weeks of training to develop control over her abilities. She's mature for her age, even compared to other padawans in the Temple and learns quickly enough that she can make suitable progress without being impatient." Mehgan insisted, and the Council passed around another glance.

"Perhaps if she was kept under the guidance of different Masters, simultaneously, it would give us a clearer idea of whether she was suitable- Several different teachers spending portions of their time surveying her would keep any one master from developing a bias and give multiple perspectives on the situation." Suggested Depa Billaba, and several other members of the Council nodded.

"Kendalina's told me that she's especially interested in the Healing arts... I hear that Master Yaddle does not have a specific padawan at moment..." Mehgan offered, gladly taking the chance of Depa's arrangement. Yaddle smiled a little, but glanced over at Yoda, with a thought similar to his.

"So certain, is she, at such a young age?" Yaddle asked, curiously, "A difficult skill, healing is. A long time, does it take, to train in medicine."

"That might be beneficial." Mehgan noted, hesitantly, "Kendalina's a little... TOO active... training to be a medic might teach her a little patience to... temper her fire..."

"If so difficult to train healers, it is, then more padawans to healers, there must be." Yoda added, nodding sagely.

The Council voted, and there was a relief that Mehgan felt that they'd voted in favor of the decision.

"You may leave now, Master Retaw." Mace Windu's voice cut into her string of thoughts and Mehgan bowed before gratefully leaving- she did not enjoy the presence of the Council, or even some of it's members, as they almost always seemed to be staring at her as though seeing through her.

In the eyes of the Jedi, it was normally not favored if one was as Mehgan was, but the semi-approved Knight had proved many times over that she was a capable Knight... even if it was only halfway. Mehgan found Kendalina huddled outside the door and put aside her unpleasant thoughts.

"What upset you in there?" The child asked, not meeting her mentor's eyes. She'd heard the whole thing through the door, and Mehgan was not surprised that Kendalina knew that something was upsetting her.

"It was nothing serious. I simply took a few words too personally." Mehgan lied, knowing Kendalina wouldn't believe her, and gesturing for her student to follow her.

"Which words?" She asked, abruptly. Mehgan didn't respond, but did change the subject, knowing that 'It's none of your business' never had effect on Kendalina.

"Master Yaddle agreed to teach you about being a medic. She's one of the best healers in the Jedi Order." It got Kendalina's attention.

"Really?" Kendalina's eyes shone with delight at the information and Mehgan allowed herself a smile.

"Thinking about your eyes?" She asked, and Kendalina looked down.

"Not... really..." Kendalina whispered, but Mehgan smiled and ruffled Kendalina's hair.

End Prologue.


	2. Part I: Chapter 2

By Sapadu

Chapter 1: Trial

tri·al /ˈtraɪəl, traɪl/ Pronunciation Key -[**trahy**-_uh_l, trahyl

–noun

1. Law.

a. the examination before a judicial tribunal of the facts put in issue in a cause, often including issues of law as well as those of fact.

2. the act of trying, testing, or putting to the proof.

4. an attempt or effort to do something.

5. a tentative or experimental action in order to ascertain results; experiment.

8. an affliction or trouble.

9. a trying, distressing, or annoying thing or person.

Kendalina rose early the next morning.

Master Yaddle had wanted to meet with her to become acquainted and begin training. Kendalina wasn't sure if this was normal or not, and she couldn't ask Master Retaw any questions about it- she didn't know either. But, while she was waiting, Kendalina was going to think up questions that she had for Master Yaddle- since she was begin asked to get up early and meet her, anyway, she might at least get use out of it.

Kendalina pulled the sleeping cap off her head and changed into a tunic. It was too big for her, and a different cut than what Master Retaw wore- as far as Kendalina could feel- but that was okay, considering that she'd never cared about stuff like that. She rolled the sleeves up so they were up to her elbows, and folded up the ends of the pant legs before leaving for the Council room, where she'd been told to meet Master Yaddle.

She was glad she'd gotten up early- the Temple was so big and unfamiliar to her that it took what seemed forever for her to find the way to the Council room, especially as she had to use her hand to feel her way along the walls.

It was to Kendalina's great relief that someone- it sounded like a man- asked her if she needed help. With a smile, Kendalina extended a hand and she was led up the floors until they came to a stop. Tugging at the man's arm, Kendalina raised her arms to press her fingers along his sleeve, before he knelt and she could trace along his face- the man's brow was firm, but not heavy. His nose was straight, and not long, but not short, eyes set close to it, and Kendalina felt short, coarse hair along the edge of his jaw, but not over his lower cheeks, until it reached under his nose.

"May I ask what you're doing, little one?" He asked, his jaw moving under Kendalina's seeing fingers. Kendalina frowned.

"If someone asks who helped me up here, I'll be able to tell them what you looked like." She answered, and she felt his cheeks round up as a smile tugged at his lips.

"Shall I make it easier and give you a name to pass on?" He asked, and Kendalina shrugged, "My name's Obi Wan Kenobi."

Kendalina smiled.

"I'm Kendalina Orewahime."

"Aah, the new padawan that Master Retaw brought in the other day?"

Nod.

"Well, then... Padawan Orewahime, someone is waiting for you inside the Council room." There was a noise of Master Kenobi standing and his robes rustling with the movement, and then a beep, and the sliding of a door. Kendalina waved goodbye and walked in, thankfully not bumping into the doorway.

Master Yaddle said hello, and from the echo in the room, they were quite alone, and she seemed to be in the very middle of it. Kendalina took a few steps in, then sat down on her heels. There was a scratching noise and the sound of very small feet crossing the room.

"Eyes that do not see, you have..." Mused a voice that sounded like what Master Yoda might have sounded like if he'd been female, and much younger. Kendalina felt her cheeks rise in color, before a small, three-clawed hand touched her cheek.

Instantly, Kendalina felt her mind flooded with some kind of image- she'd had moments like it before, when she'd been even younger, so the sudden occurrence didn't startle or frighten her, but it was different. She was in a different place, that much was sure... Kendalina supposed that Master Yaddle was transferring an image into her mind of what the room looked like- the ceiling was high and vaulted, with large windows all around the room, bright, yellow light flooding the room and glinting off the warm cream and brown colored tiles and casting shadows on the red cushions of the chairs, making everything seem big and welcoming...

And before her, Kendalina's mind had the image of a small creature with greenish-brown skin and large, pointed ears. Her nose was small and pudgy, and there were creases in the forehead, but they seemed almost normal... Her hair was a reddish brown- like a kind of redwood tree that had been made into furniture and then stained to a more brown shade- and hung in long, soft curls down the back and side of her head.

This was Master Yaddle, then.

"Wow!" The hand disappeared, but Kendalina still saw it in her mind's eye- her real eyes still saw a great blackness, just as before, "There's COLOR..."

"Not used to color, are you." Master Yaddle said, and Kendalina's mental picture helpfully supplied a slight frown on her brow.

"A little- I used to have flashes like this when I was younger... like if my brother was holding my hand or if Master Retaw was helping me get dressed... but my family's house was so dark that I could never see that much color... It would always be in muted shades... unless someone was standing right in the spot of light..." Kendalina explained, and Master Yaddle's frown deepened.

"Like this, since you were born, you have been..." She added. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah..." Kendalina said slowly, and recognized the look on Master Yaddle's face as disappointment, then all the seeing vanished.

"Then, impossible to heal you, it is..." Master Yaddle thudded onto the floor, and Kendalina felt her spirits sink.

"...So... if someone is born a certain way... you can only heal them back to that state..." Kendalina murmured, unhappily. Master Yaddle sighed a little, and then began to ask questions.

"Why, to become a healer, do you want to be?" She asked. Kendalina traced patterns on the floor with her finger.

"I guess when Master Retaw first told me that there was such a thing as a Jedi Healer, I started thinking 'What if I could heal my eyes and see for myself for once'... then, before we finally came to the Temple- Master Retaw had to kind of take the long way around the quickest route- we landed on a few other planets and I learned that there were other things that could go wrong... someone can be born without arms or legs... a person could be born with a damaged stomach or liver... someone's skeleton might only be half complete... and I thought 'What if a Jedi Healer knew about stuff like this?' and I wanted to know if it could be done..." Kendalina shrugged.

"Possible to help, it is... however, impossible to make perfect, it will be..." Master Yaddle soothed. Kendalina's eyes widened, "Learn to see without your eyes, you must."

* * *

One week later Kendalina stretched and yawned as she left the room that she and Master Yaddle had been training in. 

Her first week had passed the inspection of the Masters- she'd progressed quickly, substantially, but not TOO quickly or substantially. Just on that fine border line of being an excellent opportunity, and being 'too risky' and 'may go out of control'. She'd even learned how see without her eyes- Master Yaddle had explained that the flashes of seeing she'd had in the past were the channeling of other people's visions into her mind. Now, she could see completely by herself in the same manner.

Kendalina hadn't been too surprised at the reactions of her fellow padawans- they'd all seemed to find her... intriguing... but in the sense that she was a specimen in a zoo for them to ogle at. The bars stayed between them.

Master Yaddle had given Kendalina a lesson in the sciences of healing today- she said that even the most talented Jedi could not be a healer if they did not know the sciences of anatomy, physiology, chemistry, biology, and about fifteen other sciences.

Unfortunately, learning about the different anatomies and physiologies of so many different species had gotten Kendalina excited, and now, there was nothing to do with that energy.

Kendalina looked up as a droid walked past her.

"Master Retaw, where's that droid goin'?" She asked, as her Master walked past, following the droid.

"Loading dock. A shipment with supplies that we need for training you littluns 'round here. That one's just gone to unload it, and I'm going to sign for the shipments." Master Retaw explained without breaking her stride, so her learner jogged next to her.

"Ooh! Can I help them unload?" The girl asked, her eyes lighting up to a color of silver, "Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

The Jedi Knight cast her a sideways glance and shook her head.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." She said, a little too dismissively. Kendalina crossed her arms and pouted.

"So the real message here is 'Be lazy.'?" The child questioned. Master Retaw sighed, shot her learner another glance, and decided to give in with grace in the beginning.

"Well, fine. You can help unload, but don't let anyone see you or get in trouble." She said, picking up her pace as Kendalina followed.

The trip to the loading dock was quite uneventful, with a particularly silent and solemn Kendalina jogging at the older woman's heels.

* * *

Mehgan entered the cool shade of the cargo ship, with a mental list of supplies which should have been ordered and sent. Kendalina thankfully scampered off to either find a good place to hide, or to check the back of the ship and make the job easier. 

Kendalina, meanwhile, had journeyed to the farthest crates of the ship. It impressed upon her exactly how much went into the training of the Jedi- she'd found crates of scratchy material composing Jedi robes and tunics of all sizes, trunks of medical supplies, cartons of mechanical units to build lightsabers, and buckets upon buckets of food. She'd been tempted to taste it, but something in the back of her mind told her that it was the kind of food that would keep you alive, but wouldn't make it very worthwhile- at the very least, army rations, and at the best, frozen fruits, meat, and dairy. But the closest she'd come to finding anything that could be labeled 'sweet' had been the fruit.

How long did it take for one to become a Jedi, it occurred to her, and to see this supplies, it became clear that it was a lifelong dedication- that one never stopped learning or growing.

She held in a scream as a loud thump sounded and a crate toppled over onto her. She gathered her wits enough to use the Force to stop it from crushing her and then set it back up. More noise, and shelves of metal clattered and boxes and crates of steel banged into each other.

"MASTER RE- TAAAAW!" Kendalina shouted, righting herself and, though her ears protested, throwing up a Force-based shield to protect herself from the falling items as whatever knocked them down darted from place to place.

Master Retaw was over in an instant, scooping Kendalina up and having the nerve to run after what it was bumping into shelves.

"There's something in the shipment, docking port 4, level 8. Requesting a second inspector." Master Retaw said, speaking sharply into a comlink. There was no reply, but in a few moments, a noise sounded from the comlink noting that someone had gotten her call and was coming.

Kendalina wriggled out of her Master's grip and darted after the sound, ignoring Master Retaw, who was shouting at her to come back.

The shaking stopped after a few seconds, as Kendalina found herself next to an upright shelf with piles of boxes on it. There was a rustling behind it, which told her that SOMEthing was behind it, something big. Kendalina shoved the box aside enough that she could stick her arm back. There was a vibration and the slightest of brushes of cloth which told Kendalina the thing back there was moving away from her.

A noise came from the shadows and the shelves rattled as Master Retaw lit a lamp to get a better view of him.

The extra inspector that Master Retaw had requested arrived at their elbow- Master Plo Koon- peering at the stowaway in the supplies. Kendalina reached out and pushed the box completely out of the way, letting the other two see the being behind the shelves

It looked human, and distinctly male, but it was possibly the most ugly specimen of the human race that either of the two older Jedi had ever seen- his hair was white and stringy, despite how it kept in flowing clumps, and his skin was the sickly pale shade of yellow a person's skin turns when they've never seen sunlight. Heavy wrinkles, creases, and scars were embedded into his face, and his hands seemed big and bulky against his bony wrists as he wrung his hands in front of his face. Eyes as green as sea water gleamed at them, watering up with tears as the bright light from Mehgan's flashlight shone on him. The being was cringing, tattered clothes hanging open to reveal skin that just barely covered the work of bone, muscle, and arteries beneath it, lines of blue and red distinctly appearing against the yellow with the bump where the blood vessels were.

And incoherent wheezing and mumbling came from his throat, as though he couldn't find the words to speak. A loud wailing noise that sounded as though his lungs were clogged with some semi-fluid came out, protesting the light that persistently followed him.

Kendalina reached out her hand, even as the creature cringed away.

"It's okay... we're not going to hurt you, you can come out..." She whispered, softly. The small noises that she made, like hums, encouraging the creature to uncoil, seemed to work their magic, as the bulky hands lowered and the green eyes peered at her. One of the heavy, big boned fingers stretched out to touch her hand, as though examining it. It tapped her palm a few times, before the hand grasped hers and started to tug. Kendalina tugged, slowly, in the opposite direction.

Slowly, but steadily, the boy crawled out from behind the shelves, and followed Kendalina out towards the Temple, with the two Masters leading the way.


	3. Part I: Chapter 3

By Sapadu

Chapter 2: Concern

con·cern /kənˈsɜrn/ Pronunciation Key- [k_uh_n-**surn**

–verb (used with object)

1. to relate to; be connected with; be of interest or importance to; affect.

2. to interest or engage (used reflexively or in the passive, often fol. by _with_ or _in_)

3. to trouble, worry, or disquiet.

–noun

4. something that relates or pertains to a person; business; affair.

5. a matter that engages a person's attention, interest, or care, or that affects a person's welfare or happiness.

6. worry, solicitude, or anxiety.

The Council was quite perplexed, to make an understatement.

Masters Yoda and Windu had been under enough stress to keep an eye on the progress of newly appointed Jedi Knight, Master Kenobi and his new apprentice, and it had been no help that they had other apprentices to train, other Knights to appoint trainees, etc.

Needless to say, they did not appreciate the uproar when Kendalina found a boy in the back of a cargo carrier.

Kendalina had been brought before the Council again, just barely a week after her initiation- a fact that made Megan Retaw VERY uncomfortable- and coaxed an unwilling boy in after her.

The first thought that came to every Master's mind, no matter how they all immediately would have denied ever thinking it, was how horribly ugly the boy was. There just seemed to be something in the air around him that cast a shadow of gloom into the room, and something in his skin stank of a wretchedness that none of them liked.

"And there is no mention of his existence in the database of the archives?" Master Windu confirmed, speaking to Master Retaw, who nodded.

"I'm afraid so. We could go to the Senate and ask for one of the Senators to give us information from the childbirth office." She suggested, with simple bluntness and a grim expression. None of the Council looked pleased to have to speak with a politician beyond necessity.

"Perhaps the Chancellor, himself?" Added Evan Piell. Master Windu looked thoughtful at this, and tapped the tips of his fingertips together, in consideration.

"I do not think he would deny us access to the Citizen Registration Bureau if we describe this particular instance." He agreed. Master Billaba, however, sat up and made a slight complaint.

"But supposing he was never registered for citizenship?" She offered, reasonably playing the Sith's Advocate, "Or, worse, whoever is responsible for his condition now removed all trace of him from the the Registrar." Eyebrows raised all around the Council room, "It's quite clear that this boy has been neglected, if not abused, and whoever did so, if they masked this event carefully, would have erased his file on the list of Citizens, or tampered with it to make his disappearance less noticeable."

There was a pause as the other members, before Kendalina interrupted.

"I'll bet that whoever abandoned him thought so poorly of Trike that they figured nobody would give a damn if he disappeared." She said, bitterly. All eyes in the Council room stared at the six-year-old, and Megan Retaw's mouth opened, at first to admonish Kendalina's language, before she caught something.

"... Trike?" She asked, frowning. Kendalina turned her blank, gray eyes up to her master, staring defiantly into the blue orbs of the Jedi Knight.

"That's what I'm going to call him." She said, as though everyone was slow to not have caught that.

An unspoken murmur of disapproval rippled through the chamber. Master Retaw hid her face in her hands.

"Padawan Orewahime, don't give him a name." She said, trying to keep her voice level and emotionless. Kendalina made a face.

"So, when we talk to or about Trike, we'll just say 'you' or 'the boy'? Gee, that's decent of you..." She demanded, sarcastically.

"This isn't a matter of decency- if you give someone or something a name, you start becoming attached to them, and as you know, attachment is forbidden to a Jedi." Master Retaw explained, sternly.

Kendalina gave her a disgusted look, then looked down at her arm, where the boy's hands were clutching her as though his life depended on it.

"It can't hurt at this point, can it? The only way Trike could get closer to me would be if his body was surgically connected to mine." She asked, and felt a small sense of pride that the Council seemed to flinch every time she called the boy 'Trike'. In her mind, she projected the name out towards them, just to be spiteful.

Only Masters Billaba, Yaddle, and Yoda kept their good posture. The other's seemed to be bowing their heads, as though at a funeral procession.

"In any case, Padawan Orewahime." Master Yaddle said, cutting through the tension in the room, "Required to accompany them to meet the Chancellor and, into the Bureau, inquire, you will be."

Kendalina felt her face fall. She hadn't expected this.

* * *

The Chancellor was civil and greeted the Jedi congenially, but as his eyes fell upon Trike, Kendalina could tell he was flinching away, if only on the inside. 

"Unsightly little creature, isn't he?" The Chancellor asked, but quickly continued, "I don't mean to pass judgment, though I must confess such a curiosity of sight to be distracting, and I don't wish to go astray from the topic at hand." He said this with a slight edge, which Kendalina recognized as a way of dismissing her and Trike from the room. She slowly inched toward the door, pulling Trike, who didn't seem to even understand the horrible things being said about him, with her.

Outside the door, Kendalina could still hear the voices talking inside.

"I see no reason why you shouldn't have access to the documents in the Liscenure Bureau, especially if it is for the well-being of an estranged child such as that one." The Chancellor was saying, and Kendalina could tell he was sitting behind his desk, with his hands folded neatly, and a pleasant business smile.

Kendalina stuck her head around the door, enough so that her eyes met the Chancellor's for a brief moment.

It was long enough for her to stick her tongue out at him.

She didn't like him, already.

"And, while you so kindly attempt to locate his guardian, I'm sure the rest of the Senate would agree that we can fund a little bit more so that the boy could remain as a refugee at the Temple." The Chancellor continued. Kendalina held down a cough- something in the way Palpatine spoke felt like poison gas in her mouth.

* * *

The first indication anyone had that 'Trike' would not be easy to deal with was that when they asked him questions, the closest answer that even Kendalina received was a garbled, wheezing noise and a few grunts. 

"So he hasn't been taught how to speak, even..." Mused Master Tiin, his grim face deepening into a scowl.

"He'll learn if we talk around him enough." Kendalina said, confidently, only to be met with many grim faces which did not look encouraging.

"No, Padawan Orewahime. Until we can find documentation and the legal guardian of this boy, he will be kept under supervision, and during that time period, he will remain in isolation for safety purposes." Master Windu said, in a voice that allowed no room for argument.

Kendalina did not leave the Council room quietly.

"Why the Krithin Hells does he need to be locked up- he's not an animal, he can behave himself! And besides..."

"Besides nothing, Kendalina, watch your mouth!" Master Retaw scolded, sharply, "And he's not your concern."

"He is TOO my concern! And I'll swear if I wanna!"

"You will NOT! Master Yoda, Master Yaddle, say something!"

"If learn from others, he does, teach him to swear, you will." Master Yaddle put in, effectively shutting Kendalina up long enough for Master Retaw to drag her out, leaving Triclops behind.


	4. Part I: Chapter 4

By Sapadu

Chapter 3: Discovery

dis·cov·er·y /dɪˈskʌvəri/ Pronunciation Key - [di-**skuhv**-_uh_-ree

–noun, plural -er·ies.

1. the act or an instance of discovering.

2. something discovered.

He didn't know what was happening. Everything around him had changed completely, so very quickly and so radically, that he didn't know where he was, or if he was, at all.

The only difference was that there was no more pain- nothing was hitting him or cutting him anymore, and he didn't hear the noise that there used to be.

And... there was a person. A person who... looked at him... who didn't run away... who was quiet, but... there.

He didn't need to defend himself. He felt... alone... in a good way.

* * *

The room wasn't dark. He didn't know what it was, but it wasn't dark. 

It wasn't hot or cold. Whatever it was, it wasn't those things.

He lay on his back, on something sticking out from the wall. A person bigger than him came to take him to food and water when he needed it, and then they took him back.

There were no rocks here- everything was smooth, and part of one whole thing.

But he never understood the noises they made. They never understood his. They never looked at him.

He never thought he'd see those things that that one person had looked at him with.

Then, he heard that person's noises again.

* * *

He looked through the opening in his door- that person was right on the other side, with another person. That person was making noises, and the person with them repeated them. 

He tried.

Aurek. Aurek is... for... arsenic...

"Aaaaa..." He made the noise. That person stopped making noise for a while. Then, he heard it again.

Aurek is for arsenic.

"A... aaa... ow... rik... Ih... ih... ih-sss... Fff... ffff... o... o... rrr... orr... oor... ffff-orr... ffff-ooor... a... aaa..." He could hear the noises coming from him. His fingers trembled and his mouth felt wet- "Ow-rik... ih-sss... fff... fff-orrr... ar... ar... sch... sch... sch..." The sounds felt funny, moving on his lips.

"Aurek is for arsenic." That person said, again, and the other person said it, too.

"Ow-rik ih-sss fff-orrr... ar-sch-en-ic..." He made the noises. It sounded... right...

* * *

He waited everyday. That person came, with another person, everyday. 

He learned what noises they made together.

And made the same noises.

He learned they were words. He learned how to speak. He learned what the words meant.

And he said them.

* * *

He knew that person had something to identify themselves. It was called a name. 

He did not know what this individual name sounded like, yet, but he knew that that person was also called 'She'. And, occasionally, 'Her'.

Other people would come by, and they were sometimes either called 'She' and 'Her', or, sometimes 'Him' and 'His' and 'He'.

Then, he learned, that there was a reason. He was a 'Him'. Which meant he had a body different from a 'Her'. It was a concept entitled 'Gender' or 'Sex'.

He learned that some things were meant for the gender entitled 'Male'. Expressions such as 'Him', 'He', and 'His' belonged to males alone.

There was a second gender, entitled 'Female'. The words 'Her' and 'She' were female property.

Then, the words 'Man' and 'Woman'. 'Man' was for males, and 'Woman' for females.

So far, he liked the female words better.

* * *

He learned that that person, she, had named him, as well. 

Sometimes, he was 'Trike'. Other times, 'Triclops'.

Triclops... He had heard She say that 'Tri' meant 'Three' and 'Clops' meant eyes.

He knew what eyes were. They were the things that She had looked at him with.

She was the only person's eyes he'd ever seen for so long.

But what was a 'Three'?

* * *

The next day, She was there, teaching the other person something called 'Numbers'. 

Numbers were ways of telling amounts.

One, two, three, four, five.

Now that he knew what things were, he could see how many there were. He looked at his hands.

The long extensions called fingers. He had five on each hand. He looked at his feet.

The short stubs called toes. He had five on each foot.

So that meant he had three eyes.

From what he could see, She only had two. Where could the third be?

* * *

So, he was Triclops, then. 

It was a good name. Even if he did not know where this supposed third eye of his was.

She was there almost every day, with that other person, and he continued to learn.

He learned how to count. She had taught the other one a rhyme about numbers, a fish, and the fish biting a finger.

He learned how to add. She had used beans out of a jar to teach the other.

He learned how to subtract. And then how to place shapes with each other.

He learned about the senses he had. What the colors were, what the different volumes and pitches of sound meant, what the smells were in the air, what the tastes were in his mouth, what the textures were on his skin and inside his body.

There were times when she spoke of beautiful things, which sounded intriguing to Triclops. Words of sun, moon, wind, and stars. Speaking of cool plants, warm soil, and cool shade of things called trees. Tales of mystery and imagination, as she told of water, cool, lapping at ones feet and smelling of brine, with live things slithering around ones toes, and the sand ever shifting and changing under the waves. She wove words that created images that Triclops had seen, not with his eyes, but in his head, of gentle, controlled flames, that brought warmth to the cold.

And then she told about something that Triclops felt, inside of him. About life and death, how little there was known about either, and something she called 'All That Jedi Stuff'. The other had looked upset, and called it 'The Force'.

Then she had said that the way the other reacted was what she meant. The feeling that you could not touch, but still touched you, on the inside. Which you felt, but did not exist.

Again, Triclops had felt the stirring inside of him, as though a layer of what had kept him alive- that fear and blank obedience- came away. He imagined as though something in his chest was moving, stirring, awakening from a deep, hibernating sleep.

And then, Triclops felt his eyes water again.

* * *

There came a day when an older male- not a man, for man was used to describe Humans, specifically- came to take him for food. And Triclops, feeling that same movement inside his chest, decided he wanted to speak, and so asked the male a question. 

"She who is often teaching another outside my door- why can she not come in and see me?"

The male stopped and turned to stare at him. Triclops saw the male's eyes- they were solidly black, with only specks of white where the light reflected off of them.

"And who was she who was outside your door?" The male asked. Triclops stared at him, but felt a squirming in his stomach, which told him that he absolutely must not tell anyone. He shook his head.

* * *

Triclops met She that day. The male who had come for him took him into a room, and then called for two other males and two older females to come in for a conference. 

Triclops would have eagerly spewed out all he knew, suddenly- the color of one of the male's skin that was green and his EARS being pointed, the man beside him having no HAIR and skin that was brown, the female with the same features as the first male, the woman next to her with yellow hair and blue eyes and a pale face.

But that same squirming told him to keep his voice inside, before he saw She beside the woman with yellow hair. Her hair- he now knew it was brown, and her eyes were gray. And, with a leap inside his chest and throat, those eyes still remained on him, not averted immediately, and that same gentle face was still there, with the curve of lips called a 'Smile'.

"Padawan Orewahime, anything to say, have you?" Asked the green-skinned short one, with a smile on his face as well. She responded, by turning her eyes to him, with the same smile on her face.

"Master Yoda, I only did what I was instructed to do: the Council forbid me from speaking to him, but not from speaking around him- I was aiding a fellow padawan, instructing her how to read, count, spell, add, and subtract. Surely, there is no blame to place- it is not my fault he was LISTENING." She said, in such a way that Triclops wondered if it was wrong that he'd learned to speak. The woman with yellow hair's eyes looked as though they were glowing as she widened them.

"Kendalina." She said, in a voice that sounded as though she were hissing. Triclops opened his mouth at last.

"Ken... da... li.. na?" He asked, carefully pronouncing every sound. What a strange word it was... but then, Triclops thought to himself, he'd never known what her name was. Could it be this?

She smiled at him, before turning to the woman.

"There, Master Retaw, you just taught him my name. That's your fault, if anyone has a complaint." She said, and Triclops felt a sense of tension being lifted as he found his answer.

The green-skinned male chuckled, and Triclops lost the sense that the air was hard to breathe.

"No fault, is there, Padawan Orewahime. A great dignity, this is." He said, and then the males all left, with the tall, dark female. Triclops looked after them, before looking back at She.

So... he knew now that her name was Kendalina. Triclops lifted a hand and touched the brown hair that he'd only seen wisps of through the crack in the door.

"Ken... da... li... na..." He whispered.

Those gray eyes turned back at him, and her face smiled.


	5. Part I: Chapter 5

By Sapadu

Chapter 4: Discontent

dis·con·tent/ˌdɪskənˈtɛnt/ Pronunciation Key – [dis-k_uh_n-**tent**

–adjective

1. not content; dissatisfied; discontented.

–noun

3. a restless desire or craving for something one does not have.

Mehgan Retaw kept her eyes fixated on her pupil as Kendalina fawned over the boy, still unbelieving that Kendalina had been subtly, discretely visiting and teaching him for a year and that it had gone unnoticed. With the unspoken approval of Master Yoda to continue to teach him, Kendalina had taken to the task with even greater fervor.

And, while it pleased Mehgan to see that Kendalina was interacting with someone close to her age- possibly, even, making a friend- there was that little pang in her chest that insisted that she COULD NOT- not with this BOY.

Mehgan saw the green of the boy's eyes, and noted the cruel irony in the world. She felt that this boy must be a monster, descended upon her, personally. And for him to come between her and Kendalina was... inexcusable, as he created the wall that Kendalina adored and that kept Mehgan secluded by herself, to stew in silent fury and frustration.

But she would never admit that she was envious. No, never...

... Maybe... just a little...

... Maybe a lot...

It hurt.

She could remember back to when she had been teaching Kendalina, one on one, just as a Master would an Apprentice, just like a mother would teach her daughter, the ways of the Force... how to control her own feelings, how to reach out through the Force to find information, or wisdom... Mehgan began to wonder if she should have just stayed behind Talus and Tralus. At least back there, she would be free to spend more time with her pupil... without any of the other Jedi Masters intruding constantly or the other padawans around, pressuring Megan to act in the way that she truly wasn't.

Except... Mehgan recalled the precise look on Kendalina's face when she'd told her about Jedi Healing abilities... how utterly delighted her apprentice had been, how enormously she'd smiled...

How sincerely she'd thanked Mehgan for bringing her here when they'd arrived...

No... no, staying behind had been out of the question- that's why they'd left. Mehgan had to control herself to stop from smacking her own head- foolish... foolish, foolish, foolish. She could NOT have stayed behind. She should never even THINK about it.

Maybe it would have been the healthy thing to do to just blame her genetics- as no human, she was sure, ever felt this possessive- but a Jedi did not shirk her responsibility. She took accountability if things went wrong. But... still...

Mehgan turned away and blotted the image of Kendalina's hands on the boy's face, with such an intimate connection that made her feel unspeakable jealousy.

There it was again... that stab... like someone had plunged their dining utensils into her living organs and were cutting them up and chewing them with seasonings while they still pulsed.

And the relationship she bore now with the younger girl only furthered her jealousy of the boy- he was of no connection in the Jedi Order, and thus there was no barrier of position between him and other people. Meanwhile, here Mehgan stood, with all the power and prestige and wisdom of the title of 'Jedi Knight' and, instead of granting her freedom and aid, it simply restricted her more and left her powerless against the forces of her own emotions.

Of course, the one ideal of the Jedi Code that she could not fulfill, no matter how she tried, was that of emotional separation and the taboo of passion, caring, and devotion. So, instead of cleansing herself of this impure trait, she suppressed it with such ferocity that the only thing left in her heart was a resentment of her pupil whenever she displayed these traits before or towards others.

Maybe she HAD been too old when she had been taken on- still with memories of her own family that she felt that connection... A connection that Jedi NEVER had.

No... this was something that she was not meant to ponder... If she'd never become a Jedi...

Kendalina wouldn't be here at the Temple... she would still be... in that house...

* * *

"Maggie?" Depa Billaba asked, at dinner. Mehgan had stiffly sat down and hardly touched any food before her- she understood why their meals had to be sparse, as rich food would be an extravagance, but some of the food on her plate could have very well been nutritional drug supplements, which were downed with no chewing and a sip of water. Mehgan jumped as her friend touched her arm, gently. 

"What's wrong?" Depa asked, and Mehgan didn't bother denying that something was wrong- the Council member always knew when something was bothering her, like some innate sixth sense.

"That boy..." Mehgan muttered. That was all that was needed and the other woman fell silent, not saying another word for the rest of dinner.

Mehgan turned to watch Kendalina, feeling a bitter taste in her mouth as her apprentice taught the boy how to eat properly, even going so far as table manners with fork, knife, and napkin. She tried to ignore how she hoped Kendalina would accidentally hit the boy in the face as she gestured around and how Kendalina drew stares by talking so loudly while absolutely nobody else was- Jedi Knights with their Apprentices were casting frequent, disapproving looks down at the noise and other padawans were uncomfortably shifting away to put some distance between them and the disturbance.

"Now, don't make me call over Master Yoda and have him WATCH as I feed you!" Mehgan could hear Kendalina lecturing, as well as the brat's hurried- not to mention panicked- agreement. Mehgan didn't snicker, but felt a sense of wicked satisfaction.

The boy deserved it.

Then, she felt terrible for thinking that way.

Dinner was over without incident, though all Mehgan could recall actually putting into her mouth, chewing, and swallowing had been a few vegetables and the occasional fingernail. That would account for why she was so hungry, but her pride stopped her from going back and having something more to eat.

Besides, Kendalina was going to bed and Mehgan had seen her quite plainly dragging the brat to her bedroom with her. She knew better than to think there was some sort of connection between them, but the simple fact that Kendalina would let a complete stranger sleep in the same room with her...

Was unacceptable.

"Kendalina! Just a moment!" Mehgan called after her, raising a hand. She could feel sweat breaking out, already, wondering how she was going to explain this without sounding like a jealous bitch to her apprentice.

The girl spun in her tracks to gaze back at her mentor.

"Yeah?" She asked, her silver eyes wide and bright.

Mehgan felt her eyes ache, just looking at how Kendalina could open her eyes like that.

"He can't sleep in your room." The Jedi Knight said, flatly.

Kendalina pouted.

"Why?"

And Mehgan knew that she had no reason.

"It's not allowed. Boy, out!" Mehgan said, gesturing with her thumb and trying not growl when the brat just stood there, looking as though he was thinking about it.

"Triclops?" Kendalina asked. Mehgan sighed, inwardly. Her own pupil didn't even call HER by her first name...

"Hold on... Oh, yeah! I remember!" The boy suddenly perked up, cleared his throat, and said "Say Please!"

Mehgan stared at the boy. She was trying not to let him see exactly how angry she was.

"Yes, Master Retaw. Say please! You don't want to teach him bad manners, do you?" Kendalina chimed in, with a sweet, if a bit nastily so, smile on her face. Mehgan, though she did not show it, was furious. It was one thing if Kendalina would tell her to say please, but the brat...

The Jedi Knight grit her teeth and didn't respond, instead, letting out a sigh, shaking her head, and walking away, fuming to herself.

On one hand, she was bubbling with rage inside at the two little ones- impudence and cheek and brattiness were things that most other padawans did not display, so Mehgan was left quite unarmed for how do deal with them. She was sure Kendalina wouldn't talk back to Master Yaddle or Yoda like that, so the fact that she was being rude to HER was...

And then, of course, being forced to give in and relent when she'd made herself perfectly plain about not compromising was something so humiliating that Mehgan wanted to beat herself for it. Unfortunately, that would have given away that she wasn't in control of her emotions, and that would be even worse than the current situation she was in.

And then, as soon as it had come, the anger and frustration were gone and that ache was there again.

...Maybe there was something wrong with her hormone balance... that would account for this bipolarity... maybe she should see a medic...

"Are you losing your composure?" Mehgan stopped in her tracks to see Mace Windu staring down at her. She ducked her head, looking away.

"No." She snapped. Master Windu raised an eyebrow at her. Mehgan didn't meet his eyes, "No, I'm not, Master Windu." She repeated, keeping a better handle on her emotions this time.

"I see." Mace Windu with an unreadable expression.

Mehgan squirmed, and hoped he didn't REALLY see.

"You barely ate anything- that's not healthy." Mace Windu continued, calmly, and when Mehgan didn't deign to respond, he held out a napkin to her, "Eat- or you'll set a bad example for the padawans."

The water Jedi stared at the napkin as though she didn't know what it was for. When she finally took it, it opened to reveal a ration bar labeled 'Protein Supplement and Vitamin A, B1-9, D, E, Calcium, and Iron'

She set her jaw and didn't look back as she went to her room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Triclops was having a grand time sleeping in a real room with another person in it. Specifically, Kendalina's room. While Jedi were not allowed to be materialistic, there were things in the room that... made it have a life of it's own... 

So far, he found the greatest treasures that he could have wished to find- the words which Kendalina had taught him. She called the objects 'Books'. He asked if other people had books too, and Kendalina looked sad as she explained that most people read off computers, not books.

So these printed words truly were a treasure.

"What is that?" Triclops asked, pointing to something Kendalina had on her head- at first, it seemed as though Kendalina was lifting some sort of creature to her head to chew on her head or something, because Triclops saw the gaping mouth and two square shaped teeth from the top, but Kendalina had to pull on it's mouth to be wide enough to fit over her cranium. Two eyes gazed, blankly, up at the ceiling from just above the teeth and two long appendages hung down from the sides of the creature.

"It's a hat that I've had since I was really small... I got sick a lot, so I'd have to wear this to bed... Grandmere said it was supposed to be a Chandrilan Squall... but she'd never seen one, so it kind of looks like this..." Kendalina said, tugging on one of the appendages, which was obviously supposed to be an ear.

"It does not fit you..." Triclops observed. Kendalina rolled her eyes, sleepily.

"I'm wearin' it, aren't I?"

Triclops said nothing to that, though he thought he saw the seam split on the cap.

"You can have the bed, for tonight- I'll sleep on the floor." Kendalina offered, pushing herself off the mattress, landing firmly on the floor, and pulling out a blanket to sleep under.

Triclops blinked at her.

"Why not up here? I think there would be enough room..." He said, dubiously looking at how wide the mattress was and squeezing himself into the corner closest to the wall, but she shook her head.

"I kick in my sleep. You wouldn't get any sleep, no matter how hard you tried." And the voice she said it in meant there was no room for argument, "Now, go to sleep."

Triclops blinked, watched Kendalina flop down onto her own sleeping bag for the night, and then curled up as small as he could in a corner, still expecting the cold to come in the middle of the night.


	6. Part I: Chapter 6

By Sapadu

Chapter 5: Development

de·vel·op·ment /dɪˈvɛləpmənt/ Pronunciation Key - [di-**vel**-_uh_p-m_uh_nt

–noun

1. the act or process of developing; growth; progress.

2. a significant consequence or event.

3. a developed state or form.

Triclops woke up feeling a strange tingling in his legs, back, and neck. It felt nice, no doubt about that... but... there was something odd about it. He'd never felt like that before in his life. His stomach didn't hurt, because no one was kicking him, and there was something heavy covering him! Triclops frowned.

This was not normal. He wondered where he was.

He opened one green eye and immediately shut it against what he now knew was light that was streaming in from a window. The room he was in was most definitely not the one he'd been in the last year or so...

Oh yeah...

Triclops heard a noise on the floor and looked down to see Kendalina muttering and kicking at her blanket. She was RIGHT! She DID kick in her sleep.

Something in the wall with numbers on it started to make noise. Kendalina kicked one last time before her foot hit a button next to the numbers.

"Aah... okay, okay! I'm UP! Stupid timepiece. Old kill joy... Oh, hi Triclops! Been up long? Were you bored or hungry or somethin'? Breakfast is in an hour. Sorry if the alarm woke you up!" Kendalina somehow said all of this in the course of not even three seconds.

Triclops blinked at her as she stood up and stretched, before he said something even remotely intelligent.

"... Alarm?" He finally asked. Kendalina pointed with one of her toes to the numbers in the wall.

"The noise the clock was making. An alarm normally means something bad is going to happen, but it also can just be to remind you of something, or to alert your attention to something." She explained, pulling a fresh tunic from her closet.

Kendalina had just started to take off her pajama shirt when she remembered Triclops was in the room. And staring at her.

She turned a steely glare upon the boy behind her.

"What?" Triclops asked after a long moment of silence when Kendalina glared at him. The girl did a one-eighty and seized Triclops' arm, dragging him out of the room.

"Okay, Triclops, why don't you just be a good boy and go... um... wash your face and behind your ears and... um... yeah..." Kendalina said, while Triclops struggled against her rather powerful-for-her-age grip.

"Ken-DA-li-NA!" He whined as the girl shut the door in his face. She popped it open and peeked out.

"Waddya want?" She snapped. Triclops flinched away.

"What if someone else is out here? And why did you push me out?" Triclops muttered. He didn't know why, but he felt as though if he took his eyes off Kendalina for even a second, she might disappear. And, not to put too fine a point on it, but that woman with blue eyes and yellow hair seemed to be after his head on a stick.

"For one thing, they don't bite, you'll be fine. For another, I'm getting dressed. If you don't wanna wash your face, then just sit outside the door and wait for me to come out." Kendalina shut the door in his face again and Triclops leaned against the wall, listening to Kendalina continue talking to herself- occasionally, her voice changed pitch, and a few times, it didn't sound that good, but... she certainly sounded happy... When she came back out, she was fully dressed and had several of the objects called books in her arms. Triclops followed her as she walked right past him, humming to herself and headed towards the repulsor shaft.

"Kendalina, why do you have all those books with you?" Triclops asked. A pair of bright gray eyes turned to stare at him, glinting wickedly.

"I..." Kendalina said, with an impressive pause, "am going to teach you... how to READ!" Kendalina said, raising a fist into the air. Triclops blinked.

"Read?" Triclops asked. Read... what a strange word...

"Yeah! So you can understand what's written in these books, and everywhere else for that matter. Won't that be great?" Kendalina asked, bouncing up and down, and, before Triclops could answer, she had pulled out a book and opened it.

"Okay, let's start with this sentence here." Kendalina sat on the floor of the repulsor shaft and opened the book across her knees. Triclops sat next to her and stared down at a page of incomprehensible little letters. He knew all to well what they were, but to him, he could not tell which was the 'Aurek' and which was the 'Besh'.

"First, since you know what letters are, I'll show you what they look like- this first letter is an 'Isk'. This 'Isk' is also the word, I, which a person uses when talking about themselves."

"'When talking of thyself, use the word 'I', not only that word, but also 'Me', 'Mine', and 'My'." Triclops repeated the rhyme he'd heard her teach the other padawan a little under a year ago.

"Yeah! And now you know what 'I' looks like." Kendalina said, enthusiastically. Triclops frowned at the sign on the page- what a strange shape... it didn't look how he thought 'Isk's should look, if they must have a shape...

"That is a lousy shape for an 'Isk'." He muttered, sullenly. Kendalina blinked at him, perplexed.

"Well... what shape would YOU give an 'Isk'?" She asked. Triclops creased his brow for a moment, before he attempted to make a shape in the air with his finger. Kendalina produced something white and thin with a tube that had a sharp little tip at the end.

"This is paper and a pen. Use the pen to draw on the paper what you think an 'Isk' would look like." She instructed, pantomiming how to use a pen. Triclops took it from her and mimicked her actions with accuracy, putting the ink to the paper, drawing a line that wiggled the way he thought an 'Isk' looked.

Kendalina peered over his shoulder with curiosity. She was frowning, but not in a bad way.

"What about an 'Aurek'? How would that look?" She asked. Triclops drew another line that squiggled, but very distinctly different.

"Or a 'Mern'?" Kendalina pressed. Triclops drew another line. Kendalina then gently pried the pen from his grip.

"So... would the word 'Am' look like this?" She copied the lines of 'Aurek' and 'Mern' together, as best she could. Triclops gave her a very bizarre look.

"No..." He said, taking the pen back and drawing something very different. Kendalina made a face.

"Um... Trike... how about we go over your superior code building skills later- right now, I'm trying to teach you how to read things that OTHER people have written, so you can understand them." She said, a little impatiently, taking the pen from Triclops' hand and pulling the book back over.

Triclops gave her an odd look, but didn't argue and let her teach him.

The repulsor shaft reached the ground floor where the padawans and their masters ate breakfast. Triclops had watched and listened to Kendalina read to him, cover to cover, in the first book. He recognized only 'Aurek', 'Senth', and 'Dorn'. Some other letters, he could make guesses to what they were, but kept getting them confused with letters that looked similar. The 'Dorn' looked so much like a 'Resh' that he sometimes said 'Der' instead of 'Red', and then Kendalina corrected him.

Triclops, therefore, put off eating the food Kendalina set before him in favor of pursuing the book. It was unusual- the story had been very quirky and confusing, but there were some pictures to help him, so he knew what was a 'Hood'.

Meanwhile, Kendalina kept trying to push food in his face. Triclops noted that she was feeding him from her own plate.

Mehgan Retaw came upon the two hunched over a book at the dining table. Kendalina had peeled a few pieces of fruit and was pestering Triclops to eat something, while the boy sat, engrossed, in a book made of paper.

Distantly, Mehgan wondered how Kendalina had managed to keep it a secret that she had paper books and not electronic ones. Any antique dealer on Coruscant would have either skinned them alive or given her their right arm for something as old as that when they'd arrived and been forced to go through the lower levels.

Mehgan sighed and leaned back against the wall to watch them read.

It was her duty to supervise Kendalina... wasn't it?

By the time the rest of the Jedi Temple was awake and downstairs for their morning meal, Kendalina had taught him the colors pink, lime, amber, copper, periwinkle, and lilac, and the brat could read the words 'and', 'if', 'it', 'do', 'not', 'am', 'or', 'in', 'with', 'on', 'are', and 'the'. He knew the entire alphabet by heart, could recognize every letter, but had trouble telling Dorn from Resh and Grek from Usk and Cherek from Shen, and the brat was even trying to ask Kendalina to teach him some more words and colors.

Mehgan didn't know if she wanted to Kendalina to convince her to keep some distance between the two of them or just strangle the boy.

She stood over in the corner, keeping her gaze fixed obsessively on the two. She didn't even notice the other Jedi and their padawans coming down for breakfast until Depa Billaba came over, subtly tapped her arm in a gesture to lead her over to a seat.

Mehgan took the opportunity to pretend she'd simply been waiting for her friend-cum- colleague, following without a glance back.

* * *

"Kendalina, could you not stay out here with me and teach me some more?" Triclops whined, trailing after Kenalina like a lost puppy as she walked up the hall briskly to the room she and her clan of padawans were going to be training in that day. 

"Trike, I don't WANNA be stuck in a stuffy old classroom learning about the history of the Knights and Masters of old, and I sure already feel like my head's gonna explode if they keep pushing this philosophy stuff into me, but I do have stuff to learn, so... No, I can't spend all day with you. Go off and explore the place a bit- it IS your new home and you should learn what it's like." Kendalina turned to face Triclops. He wilted, slightly, then walked away.

Kendalina didn't notice that, as soon as the door had closed, he stared back at it, longingly.


	7. Part I: Chapter 7

By Sapadu

Chapter 6: Determine

de·ter·mine /dɪˈtɜrmɪn/ Pronunciation Key - [di-**tur**-min

–verb (used with object)

1. to settle or decide (a dispute, question, etc.) by an authoritative or conclusive decision.

2. to conclude or ascertain, as after reasoning, observation, etc.

4. to cause, affect, or control; fix or decide causally

5. to give direction or tendency to; impel.

7. Chiefly Law. to put an end to; terminate.

What was the Force, truly? Was it part of nature, the way gravity and magnetism were? Was it a law of science, such as the laws of physics and motion? Was it a theory? Was it a thesis? Was it a living being? Was it a God to the Jedi?

And what did it mean to be a Jedi, anyway? If one became a Jedi knight, was it an occupation? Were they a holy person? Was Jedi how one described a type of disorder or disease, like leper was the way one described someone with leprosy? Being a Jedi meant one believed in the Force, yes, but that belief... was it worship, or study, or a culture, or a creed? Did belief in the Force make all Jedi insane? Or wise? How did the Jedi know what was the will of the Force? Through some holy book? Through dreams? Through instinct? Or did they just SAY they knew and were making it up as they went? What did it all mean?

These are the questions that ran through Kendalina's young mind as she listened to Master Yoda's recitation of the Jedi Code.

_There is no emotion; there is peace._

_There is no ignorance; there is knowledge._

_There is no passion; there is serenity._

_There is no death; there is the Force._

She was trying very desperately to listen to what Master Yoda was telling her and her fellow apprentices, but the nagging little thought wormed its way in and wouldn't leave Kendalina alone, as unpleasant thoughts tend to do when you become nervous.

Since she was learning to be a Jedi, she should learn about this soon, right? But what if she became a knight and STILL didn't know what it meant? What if NO ONE here knew the answers to her questions?

Or what if asking what it meant to be a Jedi meant she wasn't meant to be a Jedi Knight? What if once she asked one of the Jedi Masters, she got kicked out of the Jedi Temple?

And, of all things, why the HELL was it BOTHERING her so much?

Kendalina chewed on a loose strand of her hair so hard that she could feel the strands breaking and her hair getting shorter. Only when she felt a whole section of loose hairs in her mouth did she realize what she had done and spat the hair out.

And then, there was still the question of what it meant to be a Jedi

The girl chewed even harder on her brown hair. What if she lost her Jedi abilities from doubting the Force? What if she was the only one here who doubted? What if once she told somebody, they all started to hate her? She'd be all alone again, just like back home...

Kendalina chewed and chewed and chewed until Master Yoda dismissed her clan.

Kendalina didn't even notice: she just sat on the stone floor, worrying, when Master Yoda hobbled over and gave her a long look.

She didn't even bother pretending as though she could see him. Yoda prodded her with his walking stick and Kendalina jumped.

"Stayed behind for a reason, have you, Padawan Orewahime?" Yoda asked when Kendalina focused enough that she could "See" and then, she nodded, while a little part of her mind wondered how he remembered all the names of the padawans, or if he just remembered her because of how much trouble she gave them.

"Master Yoda... what is a Jedi? I mean... I know that Jedi are the guardians of peace and believers in the Force... but is it a job? Is it a religion? Are the Jedi part of a culture or creed that believes in the Force? And what is the Force, in it's material sense? Is it a law of science or nature? Is it a God that the Jedi worship? Is it a theory or a thesis? I don't understand about that." Kendalina explained, gazing at him, with bright, but dulled gray eyes.

Yoda raised his eyebrows and ears.

Such a question, he had never heard.

"Well... that would be telling, wouldn't it?" Even Piell had entered the room. He would be teaching the next class and felt need to set up first.

Yoda gave him a disapproving glance, to which Piell bowed and kept silent.

"Oh... because Triclops didn't understand, so he asked me, but I didn't know, so I'm confused." Kendalina said, blushing.

"Ah, but keep asking questions: it sharpens the mind." Yoda said, nodding.

"But what use is asking questions if no one answers them?" Kendalina asked. Yoda chuckled, then motioned her to follow him.

"With me, will you walk?" He asked, as the gray-eyed girl stood up to follow. Yoda and Kendalina left the room and walked down the hall towards the dormitories.

"The position of the Jedi is whatever you make it to be. For me, as a teacher, and a protector it is. Master Piell... a Jedi is he, for his family. All Jedi, were they, but all killed, before ever to be Masters." Yoda said, in a hushed tone.

"Oh." Kendalina said, vaguely, as though hit by this new information, "Being a Jedi must be a lonely life for the Jedi Masters."

"Ah, but reason, it has given him. A memorial, Jedi is for him. If choose to use the Force as worship, you do, then religion it is to you. If wish it to be anything other, do you, than it shall be." Yoda continued.

Kendalina stared. She'd never thought about that idea, which made her feel incredibly foolish.

But... was she in trouble now? There had to be a catch.

"Why are you a Jedi, little one?" Yoda asked. Aah, THERE was the catch!

Kendalina thought. Why DID she want to be a Jedi so badly? Because she wanted to prove to her father that she COULD be useful? Because she wished to protect the world she lived in? Because she wished to protect innocent people who didn't deserve to be hurt? Because she wanted to be strong, instead of 'little one'? She didn't know.

"Do I need to have a reason, now?" Kendalina asked, staring at her shoes. Yoda shook his head.

"Better if you do not. Taking time is more important than knowledge, sometimes." Yoda advised, grinning, "And, Master Retaw, you should ask. A very good reason, she has."

Kendalina stared after the tiny Jedi Master as he hobbled down the hallway, leaving her there in her tracks. Then, she turned and went to search for her Mentor.

* * *

Triclops didn't like being alone. 

Nor was he particularly fond of wandering without purpose. Back home, when he'd done that, he was usually caught and put to some task, none of which were pleasant.

Then, he always felt lazy if he had nowhere to go, nothing to do.

A whole year of being trapped into that room, with nothing to do except eat, sleep, and breathe, had not cured him of this need to be always working until he was frayed to the bone and thus with an excuse to sleep.

He met a boy, taller and bigger than him, who wore the same thing as Kendalina did. Maybe he could give Triclops instructions.

Triclops tugged on his sleeve. The boy looked in his direction.

And then, began to scream and pull away.

* * *

Megan Retaw knew, by policy if nothing else, that the Jedi were advised to meditate. 

Normally, every morning, the Masters and Knights of the temple would meditate for an hour or so after breakfast, the teaching Jedi squeezing in their meditation at night, about peace, life, and the Force.

Megan got extremely bored with this meditation after a few minutes, mostly because almost everything she meditated about, except the Force, was all crap.

In this day and age of politics, science, war, and corruption, there was no such thing as peace and nobody held any regard for life- people killed each other on a whim, just because it suited their purpose.

Unfortunately, Megan found that meditation did hone her skills, so she was forced to meditate on other things.

Such as how much her life sucked.

It wasn't a very cheerful task, but then, the other Masters and Jedi never were that happy, themselves- something Megan didn't need the Force to tell her- so it was only fitting she be miserable as well.

Megan was starting to get to when she was five years old, when there was a knock on the door. Megan's meditation ended quite abruptly.

It was Kendalina.

Megan always knew because only Kendalina had to knock. For some reason, none of them could sense her when she was coming, unless they were specifically feeling for a living being coming towards them.

"Come in." Megan said. Kendalina opened the door, peeked inside, and finally stepped in, shutting the door behind her.

"So, Kendalina, what brings you here?" Megan asked, looking at Kendalina through the miniature mirror on her desk- Why were there mirrors in the room, if the Jedi weren't supposed to be vain? Perhaps so they could maintain a neat, professional appearance for political conferences?

"I just saw Master Yoda because I was confused about what it meant to be a Jedi Knight... You know: if being a Jedi was a job, or a religion, or something else... and he told me that the position of a Jedi Knight is whatever we make it. Then he asked me to ask you why YOU were a Jedi." Kendalina explained, shuffling her feet.

Megan's didn't respond.

So... Kendalina was here because Master Yoda had TOLD her to come... but she had come to see Megan...

And... Kendalina wanted to know why SHE was a Jedi...

"I became a Jedi... to meet someone. I wanted a chance to meet this person... because they would help me grow... and help me change." Megan said, with solemnity. Kendalina blinked at her.

"You wanted to meet this person?" Kendalina asked.

Megan nodded, keeping a perfect mask over her face.

"Master Yoda knows this, too?" Kendalina pressed. Megan allowed herself a small smile.

"I have a feeling that Master Yoda knows, more or less, everything that goes on in this Temple. It wouldn't surprise me if he even knew about YOUR little secret." She said, adding the teasing tone at the end of it.

Kendalina went red.

"Hey, I'm not the only girl here who's an early bloomer! What about that one girl- I don't know her name but she's a Bith, I know that- she's only five and has bigger boobs than even Master Billaba has!"

Megan made a face and outright stared at Kendalina. That certainly hadn't been what she'd been referring to...

"I think YOU need to go to your lesson with Master Yaddle." She told Kendalina firmly, shifting uncomfortably, and giving Kendalina's little chest a glance- indeed, she could see something causing wrinkles in her tunic shirt, which only injured her own pride that even her PADAWAN had breasts bigger than her own. Kendalina stuck out her fat lower lip, but did as she was told.

Megan sat on the floor a little longer.

Someday she'd tell Kendalina the truth about herself. Someday, Kendalina would be a woman, not a girl. Someday, she'd have to grow-up, face life, and stand on her own two feet...

Someday... but not today...

* * *

Triclops found Kendalina in a different room than she'd been in a few moments ago. Or, at least, what felt like a few moments ago. She was alone with the other Master who looked like Master Yoda, but Triclops didn't care. With a sense of urgency, he grabbed her sleeve and pulled her to her feet, ushering her to come out the door with him. 

"Triclops! What's wrong?" Kendalina protested, pulling against him, slightly, but not so much that it actually stopped him from effectively towing her towards the floor he'd left.

"This is important! Please, Kendalina, you have to help me with this!" He insisted, still pulling her, up several floors before arriving.

The body of the boy he'd asked for instructions was face down on the floor. His arms were splayed around him and his legs bent under themselves and only slightly to the side. What really alarmed Triclops was that he hadn't moved at all since he'd left. Kendalina skidded to a stop, no longer needing Triclops to pull her along, as the three-eyed boy pointed at the person on the floor.

"What happened here?" A voice called, and Kendalina turned to see that Masters Yaddle and Windu had followed her and Triclops, and, following them, had been other padawans and Knights who'd wondered what the commotion was about. Triclops didn't answer very intelligently, as all he did was point and stammer. Kendalina pulled him away so that Master Windu could examine the student, shaking him slightly to try and calm him down.

"I do not know why... he just... I did not... it was just..." Triclops kept stammering, his hands shaking and his eyes wide with dilated pupils.

Master Windu stood with a grim expression as two other Masters appeared, one with a knight and her apprentice, the other alone.

"He's dead." Master Windu proclaimed, giving Triclops a look which the boy didn't catch, "Someone strangled him." Kendalina, however, DID catch the look.

And Triclops was starting to scream.

Kendalina wasn't alarmed by that so much as the voices she heard coming from everyone, who was staring at him, now. Accusatory, angry, hateful voices...

(( I wonder if he would extinguish us, too ))

(( Such a scary little thing ))

(( He murdered someone ))

(( Monster ))

(( He is an ogre and shall eat us all and tear us to pieces ))

(( The tortures of hell would be too good for him ))

(( If only killing him could restore who he murdered ))

(( Ugly wretch ))

Kendalina was afraid- she knew that much- not of these voices, as she was so used to hearing voices that were not spoken, but from the fiendish, hideous thoughts they betrayed. And, similarly, while she was confused, she also, somehow, understood.

She was confused to how they could think those terrible things. Was it not as clear to them as it was to her what had happened- Triclops obviously couldn't have MEANT for this to happen, and was no murderer. A killer, perhaps, but not a murderer. And how came this 'Ugly'? He was miserable, and that was easily cured enough, but he wasn't UGLY...

Kendalina was sorely tempted to simply stand between the crowd surrounding them and Triclops with her arms spread. But... she knew better.

"Triclops... Triclops... Triclops..." She chanted, shaking his shoulders, as Triclops continued to scream. The thoughts the others had were getting heavier, and more poisonous. Smoke seemed to be coming from their noses and mouths as they exhaled, and Kendalina wanted to put a hand over her mouth to keep from breathing the foul stuff. A pressing sense of urgency made her shaking a bit more harsh, her shouts of Triclops's name a little louder in an attempt to overcome his scream as more Jedi came to see what the disturbance in the Force was.

They were going to take him away and lock him in that room again. Kendalina knew it. And this time, she would be allowed no where near it, not even in passing.

"TRICLOPS, STOP SCREAMING, DAMMIT!" She finally shouted, her seven-year-old voice shrill and sharp. It cut through the smoke and the voices and Triclops's scream, killing all three and leaving the air clear. Kendalina supposed that it hadn't been wise of her to use such vocabulary, but it had certainly been shocking enough that it had done the job.

What was so sad was that they cared more that she'd just said a swear word, at seven years of age, with so many people around, and being a Jedi padawan, than that Triclops had been screaming in utter terror and sympathy a moment ago.

"Now..." Kendalina said, a bit more calmly, "What happened? Tell everyone here." Triclops continued to stare at her for a moment, before finally swallowing hard, and beginning to speak.

"Well... You... told me to go explore... and I did not know where to go... or what to do... so, I saw him passing by, and tugged on his sleeve..." Triclops said, pointing to the padawan, whose head was turned toward them, his eyes still open.

"Go on..." Kendalina urged him, and Triclops continued, shaking.

"He started to scream... and I did not know what to do... but I had to stop him before someone came and punished him..." At this point, Kendalina gently interrupted, as Triclops seemed to be pausing, anyway.

"Who would've punished him, Trike? It's not a bad thing to scream..." Kendalina asked, frowning. Triclops looked panicked.

"THEM! THEY always come! You are not supposed to scream, or else someone outside will know THEY are there and doing things THEY do not want other people to know about! We are not supposed to scream, or else bad things happen!" Triclops shouted, sounding slightly less than sane.

Kendalina held up her hands to usher him to quiet again.

"Okay... okay... but tell us what happened." She said, trying to sound kind. If anyone were to judge by how Triclops calmed and continued, she was doing a good job.

"...I tried to stop him from screaming... I kept waving my hands at him and telling to stop... but he kept looking away... and did not listen to me... and I did not know what to do..." Triclops explained, meekly staring at the floor, "But... I had seen... THEM do this..." Triclops put his hands around his own neck, "And it had always made people quiet... so I tried... and then... he stopped screaming, but he fell over... and would not move... so..." Triclops swallowed, but didn't continue. Everyone else could guess what had happened after that.

"Oh..." Kendalina said, quietly. Triclops looked up at her, and there was some rabid look in his eyes of horror.

"I did something bad, did I not?" He asked, in a choked voice. All the Masters present gave him a scornfull look, but Kendalina, frowning, thought for a moment, before she shook her head.

"No, Trike. You didn't do something bad." She said, calmly. Triclops stared at her with wide eyes, but seemed to accept this enough that he stopped shaking.

"Padawan Orewahime, he's murdered somebody- this is not a light situation." Master Windu interjected, and while Kendalina would have agreed normally, she felt... angry... at his blunt analysis.

"No, he DIDN'T! Triclops hasn't murdered anybody anymore than... than I have!" She argued, turning around, and slightly aware that the image of a spoiled, bratty kid would only be complete if she stomped her foot. Triclops tapped her shoulder.

"Kendalina, what is 'murder'?" He asked. Kendalina looked back at him.

"It's a very bad thing Triclops. It's when you kill somebody because you want them dead. When you do it on purpose. That's not what you did." Kendalina said, giving Master Windu a sidelong glare, but mostly keeping her attention on Triclops.

"... So... I KILLED someone?" Triclops asked, pupils dilating again. Kendalina shifted, but nodded, not willing to lie.

"...O...Oh..." Was all he said. Master Windu looked between the two, the body on the floor, and then made a gesture with his hand to dismiss the other Masters and their padawans.

* * *

"Master Windu talked with me about it." Master Retaw said, re-entering the room where Kendalina had been letting Triclops sleep. Kendalina was sitting on the mattress with Triclops, silently keeping him company. 

"And what did he say?" She asked, trying to be as calm and understanding as possible. Master Retaw looked at Triclops, to be sure he was listening before she spoke.

"We came to an agreement. I told him to let you go for a week and then the Council will judge the evidence that observation brings." She said, closing the door and leaning against it.

"Evidence?" Triclops asked, numbly.

"Yes. Master Billaba persuaded most of the Council that, if Triclops had truly intended to kill the other padawan, the laws of the universe will dictate his fate." Master Retaw said, then explained, "According to the Chalactan faith, natural laws that the universe decides influence all living and non-living things within it. As such, for things such as murder, or accidental killings, the laws of the natural world will deal with them."

"In other words... The Council is going to wait to see if anything like bad karma comes back to Trike to determine if he really did mean to kill that other student..." Kendalina surmised, sounding crabby. Master Retaw nodded as Triclops curled up into a ball. Kendalina tugged on his sleeve.

"Trike? Are you okay?" She asked, looking at Triclops, who looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I am scared..." He whispered. Kendalina's own eyes widened, then narrowed, before she reached over and pulled him into a hug. Triclops started crying again, curling up against her arm and shaking.

"It's okay to be scared..." Kendalina whispered back, and she was also shaking, "...I used to be scared a lot... I was always a coward and a crybaby back home, before I came here... Kaa-Oh and Toh-Ma were always yelling at me and I never really knew how to take care of myself if something bad happened."

Master Retaw's eyes dimmed a little as she watched the two interact.

"...But... whenever things got too bad... or too scary... Master Retaw always let me run to her... and she tried to teach me to be brave... and because she always seemed like she wasn't afraid of anyone... like nobody could touch her and make her fear them... I wanted to become strong like that, too..." Kendalina's voice was shaking and Triclops felt her hand clench in the shirt he was wearing.

Triclops' whimpering subsided.

"...Then... when the day came that Master Retaw decided it was time for me to leave home... I got scared again... because Toh-Ma had said he'd kill me and Master Retaw if we tried to leave..." Kendalina took a loud breath in through her nose, but kept talking, "...And Master Retaw told me... she told me..."

"It's okay to be afraid, sometimes..." Master Retaw interjected, softly. Triclops wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt, blinking blearily up at the woman, whose former animosity towards him seemed to have dissipated, "...Because, our fear is a way of protecting us from our own carelessness... we fear things because, otherwise, we would be reckless... and put ourselves in danger. So, sometimes, it's okay to be afraid. Even for a Jedi."

Kendalina blinked up at her teacher with surprise, before Master Retaw patted their heads, very much like a parent with her two bratty children.

"The two of you stay put- I'll go speak with Master Windu and Master Yoda a little further about this."

Triclops and Kendalina stared after her as she left the room, before Kendalina gave Triclops a squeeze.

"Don't worry..." She grinned, with a rather frightening determined frown, "Even if the Council tries anything... They're not getting you out of my sight."

Kendalina was smiling.


	8. Part I: Chapter 8

By Sapadu

Chapter 7: Build

build /bɪld/ Pronunciation Key – [bild

–verb (used with object)

1. to construct (esp. something complex) by assembling and joining parts or materials

2. to establish, increase, or strengthen (often fol. by _up_)

3. to mold, form, or create

4. to base; found

–verb (used without object)

7. to form or construct a plan, system of thought, etc. (usually fol. by _on_ or _upon_)

8. to increase or develop toward a maximum, as of intensity, tempo, or magnitude (often fol. by _up_)

–noun

9. the physical structure, esp. of a person; physique; figure

10. the manner or form of construction

_"I hear voices."_

_Mehgan stared at the little girl who was glancing around her, as though expecting to see someone spying on their conversation._

_"Some of them, I really don't like hearing... they say bad things, and they choke me." She explained._

_"But... other voices tell me things... so I can hide... or so I know when something bad is going to happen..."_

_Mehgan blinked at her, before gently suggesting,_

_"It may be that you can hear the Force, and those voices are the Force telling you what to do." She knew the response- the little girl never changed._

_"No, it's not." She said it so calmly, so matter of fact, that Mehgan felt her faith hurting to listen._

_"How do you know it isn't?" Mehgan asked. The girl looked up, with her sightless gray eyes and spoke very sharply._

_"The Force isn't real." Was her answer. The same answer as what Megan had heard from her for many years, since the day she learned to talk, "So, if the Force doesn't exist, it can't talk to me." For four years old, her logic was infallible._

_"But how can you be sure that the Force isn't real? Perhaps whoever told you that simply doesn't believe." Mehgan suggested. She knew what her response would be._

_"No. Nobody ever told me that the Force doesn't exist. _**_Мать _**_says that it does exist, but she's always a liar, so that means the Force is something she made up- it can't exist.__" This time, Mehgan had been incorrect- the girl before her had never told who was speaking blasphemy of the Force._

_"Who is _**_мать_**_?" Mehgan asked, frowning. The girl gave her a blank look._

_"She is who she is." So this _**_мать_**_ was a woman, then... "She's not Kaa-Oh- since that's what you're thinking." Mehgan schooled her thoughts to keeping an open mind... after all, she, the girl, and the mother were not the only females in the household._

_"You don't trust **мать**, then?" Mehgan asked her._

_"How can I? Toh-Ma and Kaa-Oh worship her like she's a God... but she's just some disembodied voice that lies to us so she can control us all. She tells us about the Force because she just wants us to all be like her so we can be her derjak pieces." She replied. Mehgan looked at her sadly, and the girl's face changed._

_"Girl, you must understand this- I don't know about this woman, but I was told to do this. And, as it is my faith to spread the belief, especially to those who have these abilities..." The girl interrupted her._

_"My name isn't 'Girl'." Mehgan blinked at her, "I made my own name." Mehgan found herself intrigued._

_"Well, then... what name did you make for yourself?" She asked. The girl blinked at her._

"_Why should I tell you?"She asked. Mehgan stared at her for a moment, before she smiled, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder._

"_Because I want to be able to call you that- not by the word 'Girl', if that's not your real name."_

_The girl's blind eyes lingered on her face for the longest of times, it seemed, as thought she actually could see, before she smiled, a little._

_"Alright..." She said, cautiously, "My name is Kendalina. Kendalina Orewahime."_

* * *

Mehgan returned to the room some time in the night, intending to watch over her two charges, and was alarmed to see Kendalina's spot empty. Triclops was sound asleep, curled up in the corner of the mattress, but Kendalina had disappeared. 

Panicking, Mehgan shook Triclops awake.

"Where's Kendalina?" She managed to hiss as soon as Triclops' eyes opened and he sat up.

Triclops blinked, blankly, at her once, then fell back over, curling up again.

"Don't go back to sleep!"

* * *

_As her first mission without her Master, Mehgan felt a ball of lead in the pit of her stomach- where to go, who to see, what to do... _

_To find children who were strong in the Force._

_She found Talus and Tralus- the most neglected planets in the Correlian system- and felt herself drawn in, by the Force, beckoning her to some powerful attraction on the surface of the planet Talus._

_And, from her landing, the Force continued to pull on her, as though with pressing urgency, to the house of Zuka. A lone dwelling on a bare expanse of ground, Mehgan had at first wondered why she'd been brought to the doorstep. From the exterior, the house seemed not so grandeur- it was so skinny, scraggly, spire-like. The whole structure was constructed from some black material- she couldn't tell what, and frankly, she didn't care to know. Covering the building was a type of plant, composed entirely of vines, thorns, black leaves, and gray, angular flowers._

_The openings into the house were few- from what Mehgan could see, only the door she stood at and a window at the very top of the house, both of them constructed of ebony and black glass, were the only ways in and out of the house. The upstairs window was the only place where it seemed possible for anyone to enter, except it was at the top of the house- it had been a perfect circle, five feet in radius, with an angular shape molded into shape in the glass, almost like that of a sun, except Mehgan couldn't see it clearly from her position on the ground. The door, on the other hand, was about eight feet tall, but only two feet wide, and with such an irregular shape that Mehgan doubted she would be able to fit through, even sideways._

_But the composure and color didn't disturb her half as much as the sense she felt from the Force that there was something about this house, as though it were alive- the walls seemed to creak away from her, while the vines rustled with the wind as though creeping towards her- very much as though the house could sense her presence and was either trying to cringe away or inch close enough to swallow her._

_Then, it had been opened by, not a droid or servant as was usually customary of large, obviously rich households, but instead, a small boy- no more than ten years old, she assumed- with black hair and dark eyes, which stared out at her, almost lifeless from a small face, whose pallor, Mehgan had never seen before- in fact, she almost swore she saw a light tint of blue under his skin, he was so pale._

_"Hello. Pardon the intrusion, but I was brought here to inquire to your family." She said, wondering herself why she would be drawn here. This boy who greeted her seemed to practically reek of Force-sensitivity, but he alone wouldn't have drawn her from the other side of the galaxy._

_A man appeared over him, with the same pale skin, dark eyes, and hair._

_"Go back inside." The man said, not giving the boy any choice, as he was pulling him back by the collar._

_This man was obviously one source, if not the only, of the boy's natural talents- he too seemed to have waves of Force-sensitivity just rolling off of him. It occurred to Mehgan why nobody had come to this planet before- hadn't this amount of strength in the Force drawn any Jedi, ever?- before the sheer coldness and shock of the man's presence hit her full on, as though someone had dropped a single spot of black poison into an otherwise pure glass of water and it had stained all the liquid and the glass itself into some acidic, horrible color._

_"Who are you, and what do you want?" The man asked, snappishly, and Mehgan swallowed hard to keep her voice even._

_"I was told to come here by the Jedi Council from Coruscant, looking for children with potential to become a Jedi." Mehgan explained, feeling self-conscious standing on the doorstep like this. In the back of her mind, she wondered if Master Yoda, when he was a new Knight, had ever felt like this on his first missions._

_She doubted it- the others were all so confident, even knights who were young and still padawans with their masters- so, truly, she was probably not fit to be in the order, anyway. But she'd be damned if she let anyone SEE that._

_The man behind the door seemed to give her a considering glance over, then opened the door and ushered her inside, the entrance snapping shut as soon as her feet touched the tiled floor._

_Practically no light came in through the windows- All of them, instead of being large panels of glass, were more like slits in the walls that, without the glass, would have been ideal for archers to shoot arrows through._

_The hallway was narrow, barely four feet wide, and it seemed as though the hallway had been taken in a giant hand and squeezed- the walls all dented inwards, and the ceiling hung low, so Mehgan often had to duck to avoid hitting her head. The walls slanted, making something of a semi-triangle before the walls had been crushed, and every step Mehgan took echoed, no matter how lightly she stepped._

_It was odd, though, that the man leading her, at least six feet in height, didn't need to duck, cringe, or move to accommodate himself in the hall- in fact, the walls seemed to shift, however slightly, to oblige the man a safe passage._

_The hall twisted and curved, as though knotted, before Mehgan found herself squeezing through another door of black glass, entering into a large, square room. There was more light in this room, streaming from an unseen window, but it was no where near enough for Mehgan to feel comfortable. Despite the actual time, it seemed as though this house was doused in a never-ending full moon midnight._

_In the room, a large, but spindly table rested with at least fifteen people seated around it. The chairs were all the old type, which stood on legs instead of floating on a hover field. The whole family seemed very opposed to the idea of technology, as all of them were dressed in simple, plain, black clothes that Mehgan was sure not even her grandmother would have worn._

_"Sit." The man told her, gesturing to the empty chair next to the door. Mehgan bowed, politely, and took a seat, but the members of the family continued to stare at her, much like one stares at a festering sore that comes from an infected hangnail._

_The man seated himself at an empty chair next to the spot which was obviously reserved for the head of the family- whoever and wherever that person was._

_"As you know, or else you would not be here, this is the house of Zuka. Who we are, what we do, and why we live is not what you need to know- you're not here for our business." The man said, despite the fact that he was not the head._

_"You said you were here to find children with potential to become Jedi, did you not?" He continued. Mehgan nodded, managing to remain relaxed in all appearances. One of the other men spoke up._

_"This is problematic... all of our children have received the initiation and so they can't be trained for anything either than our family's servitude." He said, speaking to the first man. Mehgan interjected._

_"Is there a procedure in family affairs that the Jedi Order would be interfering in?" She asked. When being trained to spread the Jedi faith, they'd told her to take note of people who insisted that they could not for specific reasons. This would fall under the category of 'previous engagement'._

_What she was supposed to do about it, though, she hadn't learned._

_"The laws of the Zuka clan forbid any child that has received initiation from leaving the family." Said a third man, who sat closest to her._

_"And here we all thought this outsider had come for dinner." Added a fourth male on the other side of the table. The first man gave the last one to speak a severe look, and an awkward silence fell._

_A cough from a small, hunched over old woman broke it._

_"Boys, where are your manners? Introduce your families to our distinguished guest- she hasn't the slightest clue what's going on." She said. Her voice was wavery- it began in one pitch, then ended in a completely different octave, shaking with every word she spoke, but it was clear enough that the woman was nowhere near poor health, as she spoke every word with a tone that left no room for argument._

_The first man looked offended, and the third stood, putting his hands on the table, protesting loudly,_

_"Grandmere, look here..." The woman made a shushing noise, which the man obeyed immediately._

_The first man's eyes narrowed, but he did as he was told._

_"My name is Ibal Zuka, currently head of this family," This statement made Mehgan wonder, if he was the head, then who was the empty seat for? "My son, Dalhouise, was who greeted you at the door, and he will be the next head. His mother, Mina..." He pointed to a woman who sat on the opposite side of the empty chair, with the boy, Dalhouise, next to her, "Is from the Orewahime clan." Mehgan became even more intrigued that he did not introduce Mina as his wife._

_"My four brothers, Ther, Medeon, Greer, and Desde, and my sister Mona." He indicated_ _the three men who had spoken and another two people, who were either sitting with their families, or alone, away from the table, along the wall, "My father has been passed for some time, but my mother still sits next to you," Mehgan noted a tiny woman, also hunched over, sitting next to her along the wall, "And our grandmother, who does not seem to know her place." He finished, shooting a glare at the old woman who had spoken, whom smiled cheerfully._

_"Oh, don't listen to him, dearie- I know my place, perfectly, but my grandson's manners are so lacking that he simply forgets." Grandmere laughed, which all the other family members seemed to cringe away from. Mehgan noticed that, unlike the others who did not sit with their families, she sat right at the table instead of along the wall, half leaning on a shoulder high walking stick, not different from the one Master Yoda walked with._

_The other brothers did not introduce their families, though Mehgan noticed that all the sons had at least two children, and all of them looked like they were close in age to whatever siblings they had, as though they'd all been born in sets of twins and triplets._

_"Regardless," interrupted Ther, who looked impatient, "The main point of discussion is that there are no available candidates for this woman to find." And again, Grandmere interrupted_

_"Mina, what about the labor you had a few days ago? The two boys died, but the girl survived, right?" She mentioned, turning her squinting eyes on Mina, who frowned, but nodded._

_The whole family remained silent, before Ibal spoke again._

_"Well, I see no reason why you could not report Girl as a candidate, if you wish to..." He conceded, and Mehgan suddenly felt relieved that this hadn't been for nothing._

_"Well... I'd hate to trouble you and impose on your hospitality..." Mehgan said, rising from her chair, which earned her outright stares from the entire family except Grandmere, "Perhaps if I take the child and leave as soon as possible, I wouldn't need to cause you anymore trouble..."_

_Ibal stood with a rattle of the chair._

_"Absolutely not." There was a murderous look in his eyes which made Mehgan wisely hold her tongue from any comment._

_"Girl will never leave the estate- her purpose is to stay here." His eyes met with Mehgan's and she felt a chill that told her he would have no qualms killing her if she argued. Mehgan broke eye contact enough to catch a glimpse of the slight sneer that lingered on Mina's lips as Ibal spoke, and it made_ _the Jedi wonder exactly what being the heir entailed for the child's future._

_Finally, Mehgan found appropriate words._

_"Her name is Girl, then?" Ibal looked offended at her question, but obviously pardoned the offense._

_"Of course. What else would it be?" He asked, and Mehgan decided to keep her mouth shut._

_"Since, however, your type is usually persistent." Ibal continued, not caring if she had a response or not, "We can allow you to train her if you remain here. We can even compensate you for your trouble, as well as provide room and board for you during your stay." The men around the table seemed to find this reasonable, while the women kept their heads hung._

_Ibal then told little Dalhouise to show Mehgan up to the room where Girl was._

_Mehgan accepted Dalhouise as her escort, knowing that she probably didn't have much choice in the matter._

_The journey through the house was silent- instead of any lifting mechanism, the house had many staircases, a long, narrow, winding one of which she was following Dalhouise up._

_He stopped half-way up, turning to look at her._

_"The adults won't tell anybody this, but they don't like an outsider being so interfering with family matters." He said, in a dull voice, as though it were a machine speaking, not a little boy._

_"Nothing in this house happens unless _**_бог _**_wants it to happen. Everything is according to that will- so, since Girl survived, but her brothers didn't... They might try to kill her... The adults don't want to believe... they don't believe that_**_бог_**_would allow a female to live when two males died..__." Mehgan tilted her head to the side, but didn't reply, and Dalhouise took that as a sign he should keep speaking, "It's like she knows that... she doesn't like any of the adults- she screams and kicks at them, and won't let them get close."_

_Mehgan smiled, but she wasn't sure if Dalhouise could see it._

"_You want your sister to live... don't you?" She asked. Dalhouise frowned a little._

"_It's not that... I'm just curious... I want to know what it would be like to have a sister... But I don't think that means I want her to live because she's my sister..."_

_Mehgan smiled, anyway._

_Dalhouise led Mehgan all the way to the room at the top of the house. Before the window, as though someone had placed it there, hoping she would fall out, a sturdy cradle held a baby girl, whose eyes opened, revealing a silvery color._

_Though she didn't know who this little girl was, the baby reached out with both hands, taking Mehgan's finger in her tiny grip, along with one of Dalhouise's hands._

* * *

Kendalina knew that she shouldn't be out and wandering the halls at night- everyone was sleeping and she needed her rest- but she didn't care. 

She made it to the Council Room, but was disappointed to find that it was empty. Kendalina swore under her breath before taking off again, this time at a jog and began to search the Temple from top to bottom.

She finished when she found the small room Master Yaddle slept in.

Master Yaddle wasn't sleeping, but she didn't seem too pleased to be disturbed.

"Time for rest, it is, Padawan Orewahime." She groused, little eyes just barely open. Kendalina felt a muscle twitch in her lower eyelid.

"But I'm wide awake!" She argued, "And anyway! Anyway, there's still a lot of today's lesson that I missed because of the emergency! You've still got to teach me!"

Master Yaddle made a noise to express her combination of distaste at the over enthusiasm and impressed at the persistence of the padawan.

"Unexpected, this sudden demand is..." Master Yaddle finally concluded, giving Kendalina stern look, "A good reason, is there?" She asked.

Kendalina bowed her head, before dropping to her knees and, essentially, kowtowing to the 1 meter high Master.

"Because... Because... Because! Because, because, because- I NEED to become stronger! I NEED to be a medic! I HAVE TO LEARN IF THERE'S A WAY TO SAVE LIVES!"

Master Yaddle's gaze became severe.

* * *

_Even though Kaa-Oh and Toh-Ma still called her Girl, even if that was the name recorded on the family's birth record, even if that was on her official documents, Nii-Nii, Grandmere, and Teacher called her Kendalina. _

_So, that's who she was._

"_Kendalina, how do you GET bruises like this?" Teacher asked, swabbing at the scabs on her knees and putting a bandage to hold the bacta patch over her cheek. Kendalina didn't meet her teacher's gaze, but even if she had, it wouldn't have made a difference- she was just used to looking at the ground, and seeing no difference from when she looked up._

"_I fall down a lot... and bump into things..." She mumbled. Teacher made a noise that told Kendalina that she didn't believe it._

"_You're not allowed downstairs unless I'm with you. And there's nothing in this room for you to bump into that could give you cuts." Teacher replied, a rustling and sudden, sharp sting on her hand telling Kendalina that Teacher was treating her other wounds, "Kendalina, don't lie to me about this- who was it?"_

_Kendalina didn't answer. Teacher was staring at her- she could feel it- but her lips stayed firmly shut._

"_Whoever it was told you not to tell anyone, or something worse would happen- am I right?" Teacher finally said. Kendalina still didn't answer her, but that only seemed to give her the information she needed. Kendalina felt a hand rest on her shoulder._

"_Do you know why?" Teacher asked, again. Kendalina allowed herself to nod. The hand moved up to her head, then back to her shoulders._

"_Tell me- I'll listen." She whispered. Kendalina shook her head, bringing her knees to her chest and curling her arms around them, "Kendalina..."_

"_I'm scared, Teacher... What if... what if it IS my fault? What if I HAVE done something to deserve it?" Kendalina asked, shaking, "What if... there's a reason why..." Teacher's hands tightened on her, "...Because... It's always... after I do... things like this..."_

_Teacher's hands lifted from her shoulders._

"_What happened?" Teacher asked. Kendalina took a deep breath that smelled like mucus and felt a little sliminess tickle under her nose._

"_I tried to make Toh-Ma love me..." She whispered, "...Because... I sometimes have times when I can hear what they're thinking... when they're really mad at me... so I thought, if I could change that..." Kendalina stopped speaking, sniffing and blinking as her eyes stung, "...But Toh-Ma knew what I was trying to do... and..."_

"_Kendalina..." Teacher whispered._

"_He was mad at me for trying. I could hear it without him even having to say anything... It scared me so much... I..."_

_There was a thump and the noise of something heavy dropping, then footsteps._

"_Oh-Neh, Toh-Ma's taking it out on all the rest of us for whatever stunt you pulled. Don't do it next t-" Nii-Nii's voice stopped halfway through, but Kendalina couldn't tell if Teacher was doing something to make him stop or if it was something else._

"_Nii-Nii, what did you bring up?" Kendalina asked. The footsteps stopped._

"_Who says I brought up anything?"_

"_This ceiling is so low that you have to stoop if you walk- You and Teacher always crawl around here, unless you have something in your hands, and since I hear your footsteps instead of your knees and hands dragging on the floor, it means you're holding something. What did you bring up?" Kendalina muttered. Nii-Nii snorted with mild upset, but there was a clink of glassware on the floor._

"_Food- It's stew, tonight..." Teacher said, with a small scraping noise that was the bowl being lifted off the floor, "Dalhouise brought up some bread in case you wanted that..."_

_Kendalina's hand dropped to the floor next to her foot and felt its way around until it touched a plate. On it was, indeed, bread._

"_Grandmere's cooking... right?" She asked, timidly breaking off a corner of the crust._

_Nii-Nii sighed._

"_Toh-Ma, Kaa-Oh, and all the Jiis don't want you to be down at supper tonight. And, chances are, if Master Retaw comes downstairs for supper, it won't improve their moods much..."_

"_Dalhouise, why don't you leave? If your cousins find you up here, they'll want to play with your sister." Teacher interrupted. Kendalina flinched- she hated her cousin's games, considering that they almost always were themed around who could be the first to kill something._

"_Fine, fine." Nii-Nii finally said, before Kendalina heard the shuffling that said Nii-Nii was crawling back to the trapdoor ladder that led up to this room._

_Then, Kendalina felt something warm, sticky, and metal press against her lower lip._

"_While I feed you, I want you to listen to me, Kendalina. Okay?" Kendalina opened her mouth and accepted the spoon of stew._

* * *

"Padawan Orewahime- listen to me, you will." Master Yaddle said, sternly. 

Kendalina blinked, surprised, but sat up and folded her legs, staring at the med-Jedi intently.

"Ours to meddle in, life and death are not." Master Yaddle said, "Natural to die, it is. Those who die, become one with the Force, they have. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. The wish for immortality, the wish for revival. The dark side, this is."

"But! But but but but!" Kendalina argued, "Master Yaddle... this is DIFFERENT!"

Master Yaddle's look was sharp, scolding, and severe, but not angry.

"The way of the Jedi, it is not."

Kendalina's mouth hung open.

"No- learn, you must. To be accepted, death is- not fought. To fight death is to disrespect the life you have. Arrogance... Avarice... Wrath... Invite these things, do ones who seek to outrun, defeat, or hide from death. Waste away, you will, if away to what you cannot have, you look. Other good that you could have done, you will not do, if you ignore all else to preserve your own life, to learn how to live forever."

Kendalina's mouth worked, soundlessly.

"For thousands of years, freedom from death, humans and other beings have sought. For thousands of years, lead to their own deaths, this has. From this desire, from these purposes and goals, the Sith were born. To die with grace is to die with honor. To seek a life that lasts forever, the way of the Jedi, it is not. To run away, to stop, to keep oneself and others alive, the way of the Force, it is not."

Kendalina's eyes squeezed shut and her teeth gritted.

"I don't CARE about immortality! I don't want to bring people back to life or make them live for eternity or whatever! But!" In her temper and impatience, Kendalina's fist connected with the floor. Master Yaddle's face did not change.

"What purpose, then, do you have?"

Kendalina was still frowning, before she hit the ground again.

"Master Yaddle- you said that it's natural to die. And that's okay- I'm okay with dying! I know that I'm gonna die some day! I don't CARE that I'm gonna die! I don't mind that someone else might die someday- Master Retaw, you, Triclops, my parents, my brother... everyone in this Temple... I'm OKAY with that!"

Kendalina paused to draw breath. Master Yaddle said nothing, waiting.

"But... but... what's the point of having medics in this world if we aren't meant to save people who are might die? Isn't it the purpose of a medic to resuscitate people who've stopped breathing? To prompt a heart that's stopped beating? To stop poison that will kill? If medics aren't meant to do that... what are medics HERE for then?"

Master Yaddle was wisely silent, listening to Kendalina, who was rambling as though a plug had come undone and it was impossible to stop the outpour.

"Today... what happened today... I was so scared... because I didn't know what was going on or what to do... and Triclops... was just crying... as though he'd gone crazy..." Kendalina's breath steadied and she stopped shouting, at least, but her demeanor was still focused, "...And when Master Windu stopped and examined that other student... he didn't even try to see if anything could be done to start him breathing again or restore his heartbeat... And I just can't stop thinking... if I'd gotten there quicker, or if I knew more about being a med-Jedi... That maybe... he wouldn't have had to die... And he wasn't even that much older than Triclops and me..." Kendalina stopped and looked up at Master Yaddle, pleadingly, "Please! I need to learn- and, to learn, I need you to teach me! I need to stop people from being KILLED... to stop death from coming before they've had a chance to LIVE!"

Master Yaddle still said nothing.

* * *

"_All these things that keep happening... you can read minds, and sometimes things move when you're panicking or are confused. I think I know why, how, and what can be done about it, but you have to hear me out." Teacher said, while Kendalina just chewed and then opened her mouth for more._

"_I'm listening- just give me more potatoes in this bite." She said, hearing Teacher sigh, but the clink of the spoon against the bowl and the slop of stew being scooped told her that she would get those potatoes._

"_Telepathy, psychokinesis, metaphysical awareness... these are all traits that I exhibited when I was around your age." Teacher explained, and when Kendalina gave her a quizzical look, continued, "The Temple I'm from has a lot of other people like that, too- in fact, everyone there is probably just like you and me, Kendalina."_

_Kendalina forgot about the potatoes in her mouth for a moment._

"_Really? You mean, there are OTHER people like me?" There was a hand that pressed on her nose and forehead._

"_Don't get your hopes up- I still need to tell you something about this." Teacher scolded, "All these other people have worked hard to be where they are right now. And their lives aren't easy, even after all the work they've put into it. And if you're so excited about a place where you would be accepted, instead of the exception, you would have to go through the same thing." Kendalina stopped fidgeting, and listened._

"_Furthermore, before you went through this, you would have to learn to control those things that, up until now, 'Just happened'. If you didn't control them, the life that the others lead would be, not only an extra level of difficult, but it would be hazardous to you and others around you. So, I'm going to teach you how to control that so it doesn't happen at random intervals." Teacher continued. Kendalina frowned, then wrinkled her nose._

"_Butbutbutbut... but that's all good news, anyway- why are you speaking so carefully, Teacher?"_

_Teacher sighed._

"_Because, to control it, I'm going to ask something difficult of you."_

"_Wassitwassitwassit? It can't be THAT hard, if it's for you, Teacher!" Kendalina demanded. Teacher made a noise, one which made Kendalina wonder if she'd gone to take a bite of food and started to choke on it, because she started coughing. But, when it was over, Teacher was still quiet for a long time._

"_...I need you to believe in what I'm about to tell you- The reason why you can do these things, and what you need to learn about in order to control them, is the Force."_

_Kendalina's smile dropped in an instant._

"_NOT POSSIBLE!" She shouted, pushing away from Teacher and crossing her arms._

"_Kendalina..."_

"_It's not possible- there's no such thing as the Force! You're trying to trick me, just like **мать!"**_

_"Kendalina, listen to me..."_

_"I won't! I won't! I won't!" Kendalina shouted back, covering her ears with her hands and kicking at Teacher's hands when she felt her trying to grab her ankle, "You're lying. It's not possible- There is no Force! There is NO FORCE! THERE IS NO FORCE!"_

_Kendalina stopped shouting long enough to listen for whatever argument Teacher would try to use, but everything was quiet. She took one hand off of her ear and didn't even hear a change in Teacher's breathing. Kendalina sat up a little straighter, before she heard Teacher sigh._

_"__Maybe there's something wrong with our communication..." Teacher finally said and then, was silent again, until Kendalina felt something that had the consistency of__bread tapping on her knee._

_She took it with her hands- it was bread. Kendalina tore it in half and started to nibble on one corner._

"_Kendalina... you call that food 'Bread', right?" Teacher asked. Kendalina ground her incisors together, melting the soft inside into a pulp on her tongue._

"_Yeah, so?"_

"_So, you think that, everywhere, that kind of food is called 'Bread' and 'Bread' is only food. But... if on some planet far away, that was called 'Dog' and 'Bread' was actually what they called a small animal they kept as pets... wouldn't you be surprised if someone treated you like a savage barbarian just because you said that you like to eat 'Bread' and like you were crazy because you kept your 'Dog' in a pet house?" Teacher asked, slowly. Kendalina swallowed the piece she'd bitten off, before frowning a little at Teacher._

_"__...So?"_

_"__Maybe... when you talk about __мать trying to teach you about the Force... could it just be that she's simply using the same name for something different?" Teacher offered. Kendalina blinked, then felt her eyes widen._

_"__...So... there's... there's more than one Force? Is that it?" She asked, at last. Teacher patted her head._

_"__Maybe..."_

_"__...Then... thenthenthen... then teach me!" Kendalina begged, smiling so hard she thought her cheeks were going to crack. The hand on her head ruffled her hair, just a little._

_"__To do that... I'm going to take you to the Temple." Teacher whispered. Kendalina blinked, confused._

_"__Wha?"_

_"__You're going outside..." Teacher's voice sounded excited, almost even giddy- something Kendalina had never heard in her before, "I'm going to take you outside... and off this planet."_

* * *

There was a sharp rap on the door, which broke the silence. 

"Enter, you may." Master Yaddle called and the door slid open with a click to reveal an anxious, but relieved, Master Retaw.

"Master Yaddle, please excuse the intrusion, but Kendalina had gone missing- Thank you for taking care of her while she was with you." Master Retaw said, panting. Kendalina blinked and turned a little, to acknowledge that her teacher was there.

Master Retaw was out of breath, and both of her tied-off hair sections were limp on her back. She'd probably been searching the whole Temple trying to find Kendalina.

"Not at all." Master Yaddle replied, with a wide smile, "A lesson, we were having."

Kendalina turned around again, staring at Master Yaddle.

"From finishing our lesson, the commotion today prevented us." She continued, "But, a great deal to learn, Padawan Orewahime has. No time to waste- teach, I must, and learn, she will." Master Yaddle finished speaking, but Kendalina was smiling. And, if she'd noticed, Master Retaw was watching her with a peculiar expression, that faded into a smile, as though to resignedly say 'Oh, do what you will'.

"You betcha I'll learn! I'll do anything you ask me to- nothing's gonna stop me. And, just you watch, I'll be just as good a medic as Master Yaddle in NO TIME!" Kendalina shouted, loud enough that there were stirring noises from adjacent rooms. Master Yaddle didn't stop her loud boasting, but sat down.

"Then, begin, we shall." Kendalina folded her legs and leaned in to listen, as though she was expecting to hear precious secrets that were for absolutely no ears. Master Retaw sighed.

"When she passes out from being tired, come and tell me, Master Yaddle- Triclops will panic if he wakes up and Kendalina's not there..." Master Retaw said, before she left.

Master Retaw was smiling, again- the way she hadn't since they'd left the House of Zuka.

* * *

_Mehgan found Kendalina hiding in the farthest corner of the attic- this was always where she hid when she was afraid of something, because hardly anyone could reach her back there. At the present moment, Kendalina was crouched and curled into a ball, which also meant that she was hiding something._

"_Kendalina- come out, it's time to go." She whispered. Kendalina didn't move, unless you counted shivering. There was a loud sniffle as Kendalina tried to hide her face even more. Mehgan crouched onto her hands and knees, laying flat on her stomach as she reached into the corner with her right arm. The longest of her fingers brushed against Kendalina's shoulder. She flinched away._

"_Kendalina, come out, please- I've finally gotten the ship in working order so we can leave." Mehgan repeated, trying to make her voice sound encouraging and excited, despite the fact that Kendalina was causing her a great deal of worry._

"_I can't, Teacher..." Kendalina croaked, "I can't leave..." Her voice was muffled against her knees. Mehgan shifted a little so her fingers could touch Kendalina a little more that just a brush. She managed to pat Kendalin'a shoulder, soothingly, with the tips of her three main fingers._

"_Kendalina, you have to look up, I can't understand what you're saying." She whispered. Kendalina's face lifted off of her knees and Mehgan bit the tip of her tongue to keep from making a surprised noise- one of her eyes was half open with a swelling bruise on her brow and a trail of bloody mucus was clinging to her knee, trailing from her nose, which was crooked._

"_Kendalina, come out- we need to fix that nose." Mehgan said, at last. Kendalina sniffled again, but crawled towards Mehgan enough that she could reach in with a cloth and wipe the blood and snot from her student's nose and fix it._

"_Don't touch your nose for awhile- My healing techniques are pretty basic, and they still take awhile to set in." She warned, but Kendalina didn't seem to hear her- her hands were over her eyes and she was still shaking. Mehgan let her head fall to the side, frowning- it wasn't unusual for Kendalina to be upset or spooked, but this was something very different._

"_I can't leave..." Kendalina whispered, again, "Toh-Ma... Toh-Ma doesn't want me to leave..." In the past, Mehgan would have been happy to hear this, because she would have made the mistake of thinking it meant Kendalina was wanted by her family. Now, however, she'd learned that when Kendalina's parents opposed to something concerning Kendalina, it wasn't out of concern for her or desire to have her around- it was because they wanted to keep her wings clipped._

"_Your father won't know until we're gone... Dalhouise said he'll distract him..." Mehgan whispered, quietly, but Kendalina started to cry even louder._

"_He already knows... He found out... and he said... he said..." Kendalina's voice cracked and she started to hiccup, "I-i-IH-f-f-f... If Teacher... if Tea-HE-cher... tries to... ta-HA-ke me awa-HAY... He'll k-IH-ill us..." Kendalina squeaked. Mehgan frowned a little, suppressing a shudder- Unlike Kendalina, she knew very well how Ibal Zuka would follow through on his threat. She'd seen him kill, before, which was what firmly cemented the idea in her mind that they had to get out of the house and off the planet- every passing day had convinced her even further that there was a reason this family had never been located by the Jedi. Every last one of them was unnaturally cruel, even Kendalina's cousins. Even her brother, Dalhouise, despite his best efforts to be kind and understanding, had still been baptized into an uncaring indifference to experiencing and causing pain and death. Perhaps, at best, an attitude that killing was messy and not worth the trouble, but it hadn't stopped him from doing it._

_Mehgan's hands tightened on Kendalina's shoulders, before she carefully wiped her student's face dry with her hands. Kendalina was still sniffling._

"_I'm scared... Teacher... I'm so scared... I... I can't be a Jedi... I'm too scared to do it... I..."_

_Mehgan's face twitched- she wanted to frown and cry at the same time- before she put her arms around Kendalina and pulled her into a hug. Her sniffling ceased, almost immediately, with surprise. Mehgan could feel Kendalina's eyelashes batting open and closed as she blinked, rapidly, against her chest._

"_It's okay..." Mehgan whispered, "It's okay... if you're scared." Kendalina's ribcage heaved once as a final hiccup came out, muffled in Mehgan's shirt, "...Fear... is something that gives us caution... if we weren't afraid of anything... we would be careless... and reckless... we would hurt ourselves... and put others in danger... Even the Jedi are afraid sometimes... if you're in a lightsaber duel with someone... if you're not afraid of being hit, or don't think you'll die... you act rashly... sometimes, arrogantly... and you get hit... or even killed... and jeopardize the mission, the people you're protecting... or your comrades..."_

_Kendalina's breathing evened a little, but she was, by no means, calm._

"_But..."_

_Kendalina blinked, again._

"_...If you ever get too afraid... or don't think you can protect yourself... you can run to me... and I'll keep you safe." Mehgan whispered._

"_...Really?" Kendalina's voice was small. Mehgan smiled._

"_Trust me- If it's for my student, the Force will give me the strength I need to do anything... If I need to feed her when she's hungry, the Force will give me food. If I need to keep her warm when she's freezing, the Force will give me fire. If I need to protect her when she's in danger, the Force will give me strength." Mehgan stopped, because Kendalina's hands came up to touch her face, fingers tracing the curves in her cheeks and palms pressing against her lips._

"_What are you doing, Teacher? With your face?"_

"_I'm smiling." Kendalina frowned._

"_Why?"_

"_Because I want you to feel safe." Two big, fat tears rolled down Kendalina's cheeks._

"_M-Master Retaw..."_

* * *

Mehgan returned to the room which had been assigned to Kendalina, smiling as she saw Triclops was still sleeping like a rock. With a sigh, she sat down, before finally whispering, to nobody in particular, 

"Dalhouise... you really DID want your sister to live... didn't you?"

End Part I

Notes: Yeah- that's right! I'm completely re-uploading my old fanfiction 'I'd Rather'- under a new name. Yeah! Everyone enjoy it!

All the definitions I got were, essentially, from Dictionary dot com. Yes, they are relevant. Just think on it a while, and it'll come to you.

If you didn't figure it out in the last chapter, Toh-Ma means 'Father, Dad, Daddy, etc.', Kaa-Oh means 'Mother, Mom, Mommy, etc.', Nii-Nii is Kendalina saying 'Big Brother', Oh-Neh is Dalhouise saying 'Little Sister' and other things such as Jii means Uncle and Baa means Aunt. I made it up, but if you can figure out what I based it on, you get a cookie.

Oh, and kudos, thanks, and cookies to people who review.


	9. Part II: Chapter 1

PRINCESS

By Sapadu

A/N: So... maybe I shouldn't have uploaded all eight chapters of Part I at once... for those who are reading, thank you so much- I really appreciate it. Tell me what you think. Unlike the first version, there will not be extreme time skips- things will go along at a fairly even pace, but might be vague about time. Keep your eyes peeled for clues about what time it is.

Part II

Chapter 1: Magnitude

mag·ni·tude /ˈmægnɪˌtud, -ˌtyud/ Pronunciation Key - [mag-ni-tood, -tyood

–_noun_

1. size; extent; dimensions

2. great importance or consequence

3. greatness of size or amount

4. moral greatness

5. _Astronomy_

a. the brightness of a star or other celestial body as viewed by the unaided eye

b. absolute magnitude

6. Mathematics. a number characteristic of a quantity and forming a basis for comparison with similar quantities, as length

—_Idiom_

7. of the first magnitude, of utmost or major importance

"Padawan Orewahime, get back here!"

"You can't MAAAKE me!"

"Drop that paint!"

Kendalina did. Or, to be more precise, she dumped it and left the bucket. The two older padawans who had been chasing her, not having mastered the Force Jump yet, skidded a little as it stuck to their shoes and almost fell as they slipped on the floor after it. Kendalina rounded a corner and, by the time her fellow students had followed, she had vanished from sight.

"You never see any of the Knights or Masters chasing anyone like this..." One grumbled to the other as they strode down the hall, keeping an eye open for the errant youngling.

"She should still be an initiate- I don't know why she's called a padawan..." His friend agreed, bitterly, "She's only half our age and the Masters call her a Padawan..."

"She doesn't deserve to be a Jedi. I'll bet a Master will never take her on as an Apprentice." They both hissed, between their teeth in case their own Masters saw them being discontent.

There was a loud stomping noise behind them.

"KEEP TALKING, MONKEY-LIZARDS! I WAS ALREADY AN APPRENTICE TO MASTER RETAW WHEN I WAS FIVE, SO I'M BETTER THAN YOU!" Kendalina had appeared from her camouflage against the wall behind them and had started shouting quite loud enough to draw attention.

After a pause, Kendalina suddenly seemed to realize her error and swore, turning around and running again.

This time, however, she hit Mehgan Retaw- SMACK- in the stomach. Unfazed, her teacher grabbed her by the scruff of her neck, much like a tiger with her cub, and dragged Kendalina back to the scene of the crime, face very red with shame and embarrassment.

All along the wall, Kendalina had painted, with her bare hands, a series of bright red caricatures of the Masters in the Council. Master Windu's head was distorted with streaks that made it look like a glass surface instead of skin, Master Yoda and Evan Piell's ears had been stretched so they practically looked like wings, and even Master Billaba's Greater and Lesser Marks of Illumination looked like warts.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Mehgan finally asked, letting Kendalina drop to the floor. Kendalina just crossed her arms and legs and looked away, face wrinkled, stubbornly.

"Hmph."

"Is this your idea of humor? Or were you trying to be complimentary and your utter lack of skill is responsible for the end result?" Mehgan pressed, but in more a tone that she was trying to make Kendalina feel bad for misbehaving. From around the corner, a single green eye peered up at the wall, then down at Mehgan and Kendalina.

"...I gave her the idea... It is kind of my fault..." Triclops mumbled, head poking enough that Mehgan could see him clearly. She shot him a piercing glance.

"Is that the truth?" She asked, and Triclops was quiet before looking down, guiltily.

"No..."

After a moment, Mehgan poked at Kendalina with her three middle fingers.

"Kendalina, clean this up." She pointed to a bucket of water and a sponge which she'd apparently put there before hand, "You made this mess, now clean it up."

"Hmph."

"Think of it as training- you could get some exercise in while you did this, if you did it right."

"You mean 'Discipline'." Kendalina grumbled.

"Well, that too..." Mehgan admitted, but it didn't improve Kendalina's mood.

"I've got ENOUGH discipline." She snapped. Mehgan didn't leave room for arguing, giving her student a shove.

"The reason why you're going to clean this up is because you DON'T." She replied. Kendalina just huffed through her nose, again.

"What'll you do to me if I don't?" She demanded. Mehgan calmly replied.

"No supper."

Kendalina huffed, but picked up the sponge and started to half-heartedly punch at the wall with it, not really taking off any paint. Mehgan simply stood back, observing, until Master Yoda came by, as though to inspect if the rumors had been true.

Mehgan cast him a single glance, then said, embarrassedly,

"Your ears aren't REALLY that big, Master Yoda." Yoda still said nothing, until he spoke to Kendalina.

"Still upset, that not brought along on Master Yaddle's mission, are you..." He asked. Kendalina's head snapped around and she glared at the two of them.

"No, I'm not!" And then she snapped away, so Mehgan knew that she was.

"Kendalina, you're too old to be sulking like this- you should know better." She scolded, disappointedly. Kendalina snorted again, and acted like she hadn't heard her teacher. Mehgan frowned as Kendalina continued to rub the sponge against the wall in a manner that didn't clean it at all.

"Kendalina, do it properly, or you won't get breakfast tomorrow, either." Mehgan scolded, until Kendalina turned around again, squinting with aggravation.

"The food here sucks, anyway- see if I care!" Before she turned back to the wall with a 'Hmph'.

Mehgan felt her brow crease in a frown, then relax as she let out a sigh. Master Yoda was still silent, as though thinking something over.

After a moment, he tapped Mehgan's leg with his stick. She sat down, glancing at him.

"Sometimes, better than a stick, a carrot works." Master Yoda finally said. Mehgan's eyebrows raised, while Triclops tiptoed over to Kendalina and tried to talk her into letting him switch. Mehgan caught them.

"Triclops- this is Kendalina's punishment for making a mess, don't try to help her." She scolded, though not as severely as Kendalina, whom turned around and stuck her tongue out at her teacher.

Triclops gave Kendalina an apologetic look, then walked back towards Mehgan to sit and watch.

Kendalina kept washing, still making the occasional 'Hmph' to show that she was still in a bad mood, before Mehgan gave Yoda a last look and then looked back up at the back of her student.

"Kendalina..." Kendalina's head turned again, even more irritated than before.

"What NOW?" She snapped, foul-tempered. Mehgan hesitated for a moment, before she called.

"...If you can get that wall clean in less than an hour, I'll treat you to noodles tonight, instead of eating in the banquet hall."

Mehgan cast Master Yoda a quick look, which he did not meet, but he was smiling, as though he approved.

Kendalina's expression had changed, almost instantly.

"NOODLES? You mean, like, REAL FOOD, not just Nutrient Paste?" She asked, excitedly. Her scowl had changed into a wide smile. Mehgan couldn't help but smile, just a little.

"And if you can get the spill of paint on the floor up in less than an extra fifteen minutes, I'll let you have seconds, if you wanted them." She added. Kendalina's expression was growing by the second.

"You'll pay for Triclops, too?" She asked. Mehgan shot Triclops- who stared back up at her, innocently- a look, before shrugging.

"It's not like he eats so much more than you..." She conceded. Kendalina cheered.

"Trike- sit back and watch the master work! I'll have this wall so clean you'll be able to see your face in it!" Kendalina crowed, before soaking the sponge and, much to her teacher's surprise, climbing onto the wall itself and running, horizontally, along it, back and forth, pushing the sponge in front of her and quite effectively taking off the paint. Mehgan stared.

"WHEN DID YOU LEARN TO WALK ON WALLS?" She called. Kendalina didn't even stop- in fact, she ran faster.

"Master Yoda taught me." She called. Mehgan's jaw dropped, in a rather comical manner, before she turned quickly, only to see Master Yoda had disappeared completely.

"Of COURSE, he's not there, anymore..." She muttered.

* * *

That night, Kendalina was snickering happily as Master Retaw took both her and Triclops out of the Temple and found a noodle vendor for the three of them to sit at. Master Retaw sat with a sigh, as she watched the two little ones bicker over the eating sticks and as Kendalina bullied Triclops into what the best toppings were.

'Though,' Kendalina mused to herself, 'Master Retaw should be thankful that I'm cheap to please when noodles are in question...' Some of the toppings were rare delicacies, and Kendalina was not about to tempt fate by asking for those- she was happy with fried potato or rice balls or eggs on hers.

"Kendalina..." Master Retaw asked, halfway through the meal, while Kendalina was finishing her second bowl- Master Retaw and Triclops were just barely half through with their first servings, "Could I ask you something?"

"Haa?" Kendalina asked, mouth still full.

"Why the Sith would you DO something like that? Never mind Master Yoda and Piell, you KNOW that Master Windu doesn't like people mentioning that he's going bald." Master Retaw said, and Kendalina rolled her eyes, swallowing her egg.

"Aww, c'mon, you KNOW he's a looking-glass head- don't deny it!" And Kendalina 'Saw' Master Retaw's cheeks go red as she pressed her knuckles against her mouth to keep from laughing.

"But..." She finally said, regaining her composure, "It sets a bad example when you misbehave like that. Have you ever heard the adage about Honor that is taught with the Code? Or were you not listening when Master Yoda gave that lecture?" Kendalina wrinkled her nose.

"I was SO listening: Honor your promises, Honor your padawan, Honor your master, Honor the Jedi Council, Honor the Jedi Order, Honor the law, Honor life. I've heard it." She muttered, sullenly. Triclops was still quietly munching on his noodles.

"Then, can you tell me Odan-Urr's Fable about honoring the Order?" Master Retaw said, patiently, as she picked up a piece of shellfish between her eating sticks. Kendalina rolled her eyes.

"When a Jedi behaves poorly in public, a person who has never met a Jedi before will observe and think 'If this Jedi is representative of the whole Order, then plainly no Jedi is worth respect.' On meeting a second Jedi, who behaves better than the first, the same person might think 'Does this mean half the Jedi are good and half are bad?' On meeting a third Jedi who behaves as well as the second, only then that person will think 'Was the first Jedi an exception, then?' Because of this, only the good behavior of several Jedi in public can correct the poor behavior of a single Jedi. Thus, it takes many Jedi to fix the mistakes of one." Kendalina recited, grouchily. Master Retaw was giving her a strange look, before sighing.

"If you know this, then why do you act like this?" She asked, disappointedly. Triclops' slurping seemed to get louder, as though he didn't want to hear the conversation.

"Aww... but I wasn't misbehaving in public! I wasn't doing anything THAT bad...It was just a joke! And why do Jedi kids have to act like grown-ups? It makes it unfair for normal kids!" Kendalina argued, nose wrinkling. Master Retaw sighed.

"It's not so much about behaving grown-up... You're allowed to run around and be loud, but when you misbehave- even for 'Normal' kids, drawing on walls is misbehaving- and when YOU do it, it reflects badly on you, as a student and a character, it reflects badly on any masters that are teaching you as teachers and Jedi, and it reflects badly on me as a Knight and the person who's raising you. It's the same as when a child behaves badly in public, or even among friends or at a family party or school, it reflects badly on their parents." Master Retaw explained. Kendalina scowled, but said nothing, "Just remember, it's not just YOU whose integrity is put into question when you act like that."

Kendalina held in a grunt as she picked up her bowl and gulped down the broth leftover.

"If you know these things, why do you act like this?" Master Retaw asked, waiting for Kendalina to finish her mouthful. Kendalina set her bowl down, a little too loudly, with a loud breath in.

"Because!" She said, with a gleam in her eye, "One day, I'm going to be a great Jedi! And not just great- I'll be the best Jedi that ever lived! Better than Master Windu, better than Master Yoda, better than any of the Jedi Masters in the past! One day, maybe still in my lifetime, or maybe thousands of years from now, but one day, all the same, I'm going to have MY statue erected with all the others in the entrance hall- with the other Four Masters at the entrance- as the greatest of all of them! And then, Jedi pupils will look up and say 'Who was that woman?' 'Where did she come from?' 'What was her story?' And then! And then, and then, and then! All the Jedi Masters will say 'That's Kendalina Orewahime- the Greatest Jedi who ever lived!' And they'll tell my story, and all the Jedi Padawans and Younglings and Knights will be inspired and say 'I wanna be JUST LIKE THAT!' and they'll strive for that goal, more than anything else, and do the best they can! I'm gonna be the Greatest Jedi ever... and the best teacher, role model, or anything there is to be best at!"

Master Retaw was quiet, as though she wasn't quite sure how to take this information, before she looked over at Triclops, who was staring into his bowl.

"Triclops... you've heard this before... haven't you?" She asked. Triclops bowed his head even further over his noodles, as though determined to not hear and enjoy his food.

"Kendalina, I have a lesson I need to teach you..." Master Retaw finally said, smiling. Kendalina's eyes widened, eagerly.

"Wassitwassitwassit?" She asked, leaning forward, as Master Retaw did. As Master Retaw got close, however, her smile changed as she frowned at the same time.

"Don't boast." She said. Kendalina's smile changed into a disgusted expression.

"I want thirds!" She called, lifting her eating sticks into the air. Triclops flinched as Master Retaw looked appalled- though that might be shock at the wonder that her stomach would hold out for a third serving.

"Kenda..."

"Don't be a pig!"

* * *

Mace Windu was watching, disapprovingly, as Mehgan set the two down for the night. Part of it might have been he'd heard about Kendalina's less-than-polite nickname for him- and the fact that Kendalina had made good on her promise to utterly polish the wall she'd cleaned had been a somewhat tongue-in-cheek reference to that- but it was more than clear where his lack of agreement lay, as Mehgan was behaving far too affectionately for her apprentice.

Mehgan stood to attention as her old teacher watched her leave the room.

There was a moment of silence, before Mehgan frowned, a little.

"Master Windu, when you've raised a child from their birth date to the age of six, you may tell me how to be a guardian, and how, precisely, I'm supposed to be strict, but not have a soft spot at the same time. Until then, I'll keep to my own counsel how I'm supposed to raise her."

"She's grown... I'll give you that much..." Master Windu said, quietly, before turning away.

* * *

Triclops had grown, too.

While Kendalina what she did, he remained behind- he hid in her shadow, and kept his mouth closed at all times. Instead of the pranks and mischief she caused, he usually tried to clean up after her, or apologized to anyone who she hit along the way. One would have thought Triclops was a model child- he never argued with what he was told to do, and never caused a fuss, while the girl who slept next to him at night seemed to be the definition of chaos in and of herself.

But nobody had forgiven him for the incident seven years ago.

The padawans and younglings who had come after the killing had occurred spawned rumors that the three-eyed boy was simply too stupid to speak, to explain his endless silence, and their judgment was more merciful, even if for a cruel reason.

The older learners, some of whom had become Knights by now, since seeing their fellow padawan dead on the floor, maintained that Triclops had not only meant to kill the other boy, but had lied about it, and was even now plotting who he would kill next.

They simply turned away from the fact that ever since the killing, Triclops hadn't even crushed an insect underfoot or squashed a spider, even if it bit him.

To them, Triclops' gentle, peaceful nature simply didn't exist.

To them, he was a cold-blooded murderer.

Nothing would ever change that.

It was for this fact that Kendalina was never very far from Triclops. Even in moments when a Jedi Master came upon the boy sitting seemingly by himself, they were always assured that the gray-eyed girl was nearby, concealed in some way.

Sometimes, she hid in very obvious places- around corners, inside the grates of ventilation shafts, or among rafter beams in the ceiling. Her fingers would stick out or her arms or legs or the top of her head, and anybody passing by would be sure that she knew they saw her.

Other times, it was nearly impossible to know you were being watched by the padawan, at all- she'd bury herself in a pile of robes that were to be washed, wedge herself in the narrow gaps between power line poles and walls, perch atop the columns that supported the elaborate indoor structure of the Jedi Temple, and so forth. Those who didn't know she was there would seek out Triclops as their prey only to be preyed upon by the hidden fury of Kendalina.

The most common, however, was when Kendalina took no chances and simply sat by Triclops's side, day after day, in plain sight.

But, if someone slipped past her defenses, she usually found Triclops in a similar state as one that she didn't care to remember.

"Why do you do let them do this stuff to you, Trike?" Kendalina asked, practicing her more minor skills in healing by sealing up his cuts. For the little scrapes and bruises, it was fine, but for something as major as the large mark on his cheek, she didn't dare go far without bacta.

"Let? What do you mean?" Triclops asked, quietly. Kendalina gave him The Look.

"You could beat up all those guys if you ever fought back. Why the hell do you just sit there and take it?"

Triclops looked away.

"I..." He mumbled. Kendalina frowned, "I do not wish... to use violence..." He mumbled.

Kendalina's frown deepened.

"It's not violence- you're defending yourself." She argued, "And if you say you don't want to see bloodshed, you still see it..."

Triclops hung his head, guiltily.

"Kendalina... what about you?" He asked, finally. Kendalina hadn't talked of her past since the incident, but Master Retaw had... and it had become more clear why Kendalina was the way she was- he'd heard about how her father had treated her, how her aunts were unable to interfere, how her uncles were cold, how her mother had...

"Hah?" Kendalina asked, frowning.

"...When your father did things to you... why did you not run?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina was silent, before she started to stammer.

"...Th-that... that was different..." Kendalina muttered, almost to herself.

"...Was it not... because you were too scared to do anything... BUT... stand there..." Triclops asked, wanting to be sure. Kendalina's nose wrinkled, but she didn't answer.

"...I just... do not know what to do... because I feel so scared..." He whispered. Kendalina's fingers closed around his nose, then her other hand lifted to her own.

"...But I always had Master Retaw there for me..." She said, quietly, "...So... if you ever get too scared... run to me... and I'll keep them away."

Triclops practically choked.

"I became strong because Master Retaw said that for me... Maybe it'll work on you..." Kendalina finally explained, smiling.

Just outside the door, Mehgan Retaw, whom had come to retrieve the medkit, had stopped in her tracks and leaned against the wall, hand pressed against her mouth.

A/N: READ, people... READ, dammit!


	10. Part II: Chapter 2

By Sapadu

Chapter 2: Nightmare

night·mare /ˈnaɪtˌmɛər/ Pronunciation Key - [**nahyt**-mair

_–noun_

1. a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc

2. a condition, thought, or experience suggestive of a nightmare

3. (formerly) a monster or evil spirit believed to oppress persons during sleep

"_We're leaving? Today?"_

"_Yes. But we need to hurry."_

When she dreams, Kendalina remembers a smiling, gentle face.

She doesn't see it, though- She feels it. And hears it.

_Kendalina waited in the attic while Teacher- no, Master Retaw- while Master Retaw prepared for departure. Grandmere had made some food for the trip back, or at least that would last them until they reached the next planet. And she had something for her, Kendalina._

The face isn't from her family. But Kendalina doesn't know that because it's tanned, and healthy. Kendalina doesn't separate it because the cheeks are full, the chin rounded, and the eyes soft and blue. Kendalina could never see those things, so they don't matter to her.

_Because she was blind, though, she didn't know who it was that pushed the trapdoor open until she heard the heavy feet- Master Retaw's feet were somehow lighter than that, and Nii-Nii didn't have such big feet to make noise with._

_Was it Toh-Ma, then?_

_Kendalina had enough sense to duck and cover her head- just in time as a noise went past her ear, like someone had thrown a sliver of metal._

"_You're not leaving." It wasn't Toh-Ma- it was one of the Jiis. Jii Medeon, it sounded like. Kendalina started to crawl away, then curled up into a ball again as she heard another noise like whatever it had been before. Curling up made her roll- whatever he'd thrown landed right where she'd been a moment before. She screamed as loud as she could, even though she knew nobody could hear her in the attic._

Kendalina knows that it's not her family, because of that smile.

_Kendalina had to scurry into her little hole in the corner. The footsteps paused and she heard the crunch of boards being pulled away. Jii Medeon was tearing the hole in the wall open, big enough so he could get in. Kendalina screamed, even louder._

_Then, she heard something like glass shattering and a thump on the floor between her and Jii Medeon, and the sound of whatever he'd been throwing hitting with flesh._

"_If you think you can keep her here, you have to get through me, first." Master Retaw's voice... Jii Medeon laughed._

"_Do you think you're immortal or something?"_

_Master Retaw laughed, so much like Jii Medeon had just done._

"_I might just be- why don't you try to find out?" She asked, "If it's for my padawan, I can do anything. I might just even beat death."_

Not even Nii-Nii smiled at her. Nor did he ever let her touch his face enough to see WHAT his expression was. And Grandmere could never come up to the attic with her bad knees, nor was Kendalina allowed to see her alone during the times she was allowed downstairs.

_Kendalina never heard her uncle answer- the next thing she knew, Master Retaw had scooped her up in her arms and then she felt her hair being pulled by something less than solid... like a kind of comb was going through it, except it was made of something other than a solid._

_Master Retaw landed with a loud thump, then a rustle, like something wet and firm, but not that firm, was scratching at her feet, then another noise like metal hitting and piercing into a body. Master Retaw stopped running, for just the briefest moment, and there was a noise like a balloon filled with water popping, except Kendalina also heard a cough. Kendalina felt something wet drop onto her cheek and roll down, something that was hot and felt like the broth of stew, but smelled like metal. Master Retaw started to run again, until there was a noise, like air being sucked into a large, metallic void, then Kendalina was pushed into a pillow that was shaped like her sitting body, straps wrapping around her, before the noise came again and all outside noises were stopped._

Only Teacher had ever let Kendalina touch her face. And, eventually, Kendalina stopped calling Master Retaw 'Teacher'. But only after Kendalina could be sure she could trust Teacher.

* * *

When Triclops dreams, he mostly has nightmares.

Unlike Kendalina, he never had anyone to run to if he was scared. In fact, he never had any place to even hide. And, since he was older than her, he'd had to live with it longer.

_His first memory is when he was still too young to know how old he was- he never was sure of time... it was as though time had no meaning, and nothing ever made sense. But he knew there was almost always something else that moved in the room, and he knew that it was alive, and that it was similar to him, in gender, in species, in race- even though he had no idea those were the words that would describe what he was._

_And he also understood pain- the concept, if not the word- and that what he wanted didn't matter._

_This room was his world- this dark, confined little space, with nothing in it. He wasn't allowed outside. He wasn't allowed to speak. He wasn't allowed to move anywhere._

_There were no bars on his window, no shackles on his ankles, but he knew he was a prisoner. After all, even if he did get out, where would he go? Nobody understood him, and he was so ugly nobody would even look at him._

The images still terrify him- after all this time being with Kendalina and Master Retaw, he's still so afraid that it won't last.

Triclops is still convinced that, someday, they'll betray him.

_He doesn't remember how he learned to stand, but he was told to, one day. Or rather, he was made to- his arm had been grabbed and he'd been pulled to his feet. They put something over his head that fell all around and over his body, and then dragged him out of the room._

_There were others. Some were like him, just barely covered, simply standing in the line he'd been pushed into, not looking at anything, but there were more like Them- more eyes, more people, more... what were they? It wasn't normal- something was happening and he had no idea what it was, or if it would mean more pain, or if, perhaps, it was a new day._

He knows that they were not all being selected for freedom, whatever that was, but only because he didn't receive that until he came here. But, what did happen, he still isn't sure- after all, they weren't taken out for anything else, what OTHER purpose could they possibly have?

And he still doesn't understand why...

_He remembered the sounds they made, but had no idea what they meant, or that he was also capable of producing noise like that. It had simply been noise to him, but there were some noises that frightened him._

_His hair would be pulled on to drag him forward. He went without complaining, while the others like him wouldn't make a sound. After all, they weren't Them- they were somehow lesser beings, somehow insignificant and weaker and stupider- and these noises that apparently were communication were for Them alone._

Just as fire was a privilege solely for the Gods.

_Another one of Them would run a finger over his face._

_He would stand there and not react. It meant nothing to him- after all, this might be different. None of the other Thems ever touched his face like that... Perhaps... it was over, at last..._

_The first Them had let go of his hair, but his face was being prodded to turn by the hands. The other was looking him over, but for what, he didn't know. He simply didn't understand._

Triclops still doesn't understand- well... he now understands that a large number was involved, but he can't really recall what... and that They had been talking about him for some reason, but why? It still makes no sense to him. But... He wonders if Kendalina would know if he asked her... or if he could find out.

But... after all, if this is what everyone went through, why should anyone understand it? Maybe, asking wasn't a good idea, after all.

_They kept making noises, but he didn't really listen. What did it have to do with him? What did it mean? What was happening? Was this the end? Or was this going to be like all the other Thems, but for a longer time... Or was he going to... what? Stop existing, maybe- go to a place where nothing did happen because nothing could happen and nothing would hurt and nothing else would ever happen to him?_

He knows, now, that he was wishing for death.

_He was pushed and the two Thems passed something between them. He didn't know what it was, or how it had anything to do with him, so he didn't look, but he was then pulled away and saw something so very different from his room._

Triclops wakes up, and remembers nothing from his dream. He doesn't want to, either.

* * *

The next morning, Master Retaw woke Kendalina early. Triclops didn't wake easily- he's never been a morning person, as that's the cause for more than one of his scars. Kendalina, on the other hand, woke, but wasn't happy about it.

"Whaaa...?" She grumbled, rubbing at her eyes, until she 'Saw' Master Retaw's face.

Triclops also blinked- he knew that something bad was happening, or else Master Retaw wouldn't wake them so early.

"Kendalina, you need to come and greet Master Kenobi and his padawan." She whispered, still prodding the two awake. Kendalina glared.

"Why?"

"They've returned from their mission." Master Retaw replied, gently. Kendalina still wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"Good for them- wha'do I have to greet them for?" She grumbled. Master Retaw's face was still very grave, and Triclops felt, suddenly, more awake than he did before.

"Master Yaddle hasn't returned with them."

Kendalina sat up, suddenly awake and alert. Triclops didn't understand the news, but he did know that Master Yaddle was someone important to Kendalina, and that she's worried about her mentor, now.

* * *

Triclops found Kendalina napping in the afternoon. Nobody had seen her since she had gone to see Master Kenobi and his apprentice return, but Triclops knew very well that she was going into a funk because she was upset about Mater Yaddle's death.

And, it seemed, something much bigger than that...

Triclops approached her, and shook her awake. Kendalina awoke with little fuss, gave Triclops a look, and immediately turned around and started to beat her head against the wall.

Triclops panicked slightly, but pulled her away by her shoulders.

"Look at me..." Kendalina panted, leaning back against Triclops' shoulder. Triclops did, thinking that she'd meant it as a command, but he was alarmed to see Kendalina's eyes wide open, her cloudy pupils dilated, but also elongated, like they weren't circle shaped, but slitted.

"Look at me..." She repeated, faintly, her hands raised, grasping at the air, as she rested all of her weight against Triclops' shoulder...

He had to hold his breath to keep her upright- she was heavy.

"Just... laying here... all day... feeling sorry for myself..." She mumbled, her lips curving. Triclops thought for a moment she was going to cry.

"You've got it so much worse than I do, don't you, Trike?" Kendalina mumbled, though Triclops doubted she actually knew he was there- she seemed to be talking as though she thought he was right in front of her.

"I can't cry, yet..." She said, starting to sit up, and Triclops let her, before she started to beat her head against the wall again, at which point he grabbed her shoulders.

She let him, with virtually no resistance.

"You never cry... Why don't you cry, dammit?" Kendalina's head tipped to the side and her eyes met Triclops'. He didn't answer her, hoping that this would pass.

"Cry! Just once! Can't you cry, even once?" She demanded, one of her arms shooting around to his other shoulder, grabbing it as though she was going to shake him.

"Dammit, Trike! Start crying! Right now!" Kendalina sat up and turned completely, taking his shirt in her fists and trying to shake him. She didn't do a very good job- Triclops was much stronger than her in his torso muscles.

"Start crying! If you don't cry, I can't cry!" She was starting to shout. Triclops didn't flinch- he was too shocked.

"LET ME CRY! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME CRY?" Kendalina screamed, her mouth opening all the way, exposing her teeth up to her gums, and she finally butted her head against Triclops'.

A hand gripped her face, stopping her from the continuation of her outburst.

"Let me go, dammit, let me go!"

"I don't think I will... I'm not too kind to people who'll attack me." Triclops' voice whispered in her ear, but somehow different from how he normally talked. Kendalina froze, "What'll Master Retaw think of this fit you're having?"

Master Retaw, having heard Kendalina's screaming, had been outside the door for a time now, and heard the whole conversation. As she thrust open the door, however, she found Triclops leaning heavily on Kendalina's shoulder, like he'd just run a marathon and was trying to catch his breath.

"Kendalina... Triclops, what were you saying just now?" She asked, but both Kendalina and Triclops blinked at her, as though she were speaking a completely different language.

"What are you talking about?" Triclops asked, while Kendalina, apparently realizing their position, pulled away, curling up into a ball. Master Retaw frowned, but put it aside for the moment to address Kendalina's behavior, which was eerily similar to how she'd always acted at the House of Zuka.

* * *

Kendalina woke up the next morning with a bacta patch on her forehead and Triclops sleeping on the floor.

Master Yaddle was dead.

Her goal of being a medic had ended, right there. Nobody else would teach her, and even if she COULD find a medic Jedi, they wouldn't be as GOOD as Master Yaddle, who had been, indisputably, the best.

"Kendalina? What are you...?" Triclops sat up to see Kendalina just staring straight ahead.

"I should have been there." She muttered, not noticing Triclops had awakened, "...I should have gone with..."

Triclops got off of the floor and timidly crept over to where Kendalina sat, sitting down next to her, simply being companionable.


	11. Part II: Chapter 3

By Sapadu

Chapter 3: Recovery

re·cov·er·y /rɪˈkʌvəri/ Pronunciation Key - [ri-**kuhv**-_uh_-ree

–noun, plural -er·ies.

1. an act of recovering

2. the regaining of or possibility of regaining something lost or taken away

3. restoration or return to health from sickness

4. restoration or return to any former and better state or condition

6. something that is gained in recovering

8. the regaining of substances in usable form, as from refuse material or waste products

9. _Law_ the obtaining of right to something by verdict or judgment of a court of law

10. _Football_ an act or instance of recovering a fumble

11. _Fencing_ the movement to the position of guard after a lunge

12. _Rowing_ a return to a former position for making the next stroke

Mehgan Retaw, as she scanned the forest of the archives files, grew from impatient to worried.

Kendalina had been missing for a week, now. The first day, Mehgan had passed it off that she might not have been feeling well, but, sometime in the night, it had occurred to her how Kendalina had reacted to the news of Master Yaddle dying on a mission. Still, because Mehgan had always been somewhat lenient- and yet, harsh at the same time- where Kendalina was concerned, she had let her have some time to recover.

A week, however, not having seen hide nor hair of the little monster, even at mealtimes, Mehgan had started to wonder if she'd gotten sick and no one had become aware of it or if something else was at play, here- especially since Kendalina had taken Triclops into her disappearance, as well.

For padawans in Kendalina's age range, it wasn't terribly unusual that they went missing, being in the rebellious stage, especially for humans.

However... complete and total truancy from classes was unlike Kendalina. And the true difficulty came from the fact that she could hide her presence from the other Jedi, so that she remained undetected by the Force.

That was what had Mehgan especially worried. If Kendalina needed to hide, nobody could tell what she was doing. And, knowing Kendalina, she was most certainly doing SOMETHING. Hence, Mehgan had gone looking.

Dinnertime came and passed. Mehgan had still not even found a clue to where Kendalina might be, which had her right on the verge of panicking. Depa Billaba found her on the lower levels, wandering around like a lost child looking for her mother- an image complete with bitten nails and hair pulled out of her ponytails.

After listening to Mehgan explain the situation, Depa gave her friend a very peculiar look.

"Try calming down, first." She suggested. Mehgan did just that, and immediately knew where to look for Kendalina. Depa followed her,

"Just to be sure you don't panic, again." She assured her friend, "Flat-Chest-Retaw."

Mehgan scowled at the Council Member, stuck her tongue out in a childish gesture, but a fond one, just the same.

"YOU make sure that YOU don't panic, Big-Brow-Billaba."

* * *

"Kendalina, somebody is going to be angry at us if we are found with this." Triclops whispered, while Kendalina ignored him, poking through the data pad in her hands. It was a file of medical and healing abilities, but Kendalina wasn't supposed to have it, considering that she'd stolen the file from the restricted section of the archives. 

She found it, at last, and quickly read.

'The Secrets of Regeneration and Revival were a Sith Art used by only very few Sith Lords at the peak of the Sith Empire. The ability was known to bring an individual whom had died, been dead, or was dying back to life in perfect health. However, it died out with the last of the Sith, along with other Dark Side abilities, and any record of it's execution has been lost.'

Kendalina swore, then threw the data pad against the wall, where it hit with a burst of sparks. Triclops flinched, then glanced at Kendalina, who'd curled up into a ball.

"Stupid, useless thing." She grumbled against her knees, "Why do they even have the record of it if they don't even know how to DO it?"

"Kenda..." Triclops whispered. There were footsteps outside the closet they were hiding in, and then it opened.

"Kendalina! Triclops! There you two are!" Master Retaw breathed out, in a combination of relief and exasperation. Kendalina's gaze remained firmly in the opposite direction, "Triclops... what happened?" Master Retaw finally asked, glancing at the smashed data pad. Triclops hung his head.

* * *

"Master Retaw, how do you always know how to find her?" Triclops asked Master Retaw, after she had managed to pry Kendalina out of the closet and shoo her off to a class with other younglings. Master Retaw just shrugged.

"Old habit, I guess." She said, sarcastically, and Triclops continued to stare at her, until finally, he heard Master Retaw sigh and try again, "...I really can't tell you how, Triclops- I really don't even know how, myself... But I've always maintained that if it was for my Padawan, I could do anything. I guess finding her is just a habit that I can't fall out of... because it's her."

Triclops was silent, before he hung his head.

"I think Kendalina is still upset about Master Yaddle being dead." He said, in a voice so quiet, it sounded like a great confession. He heard Master Retaw snort.

"You don't say." He could hear the sarcasm, again, "What makes you say that?" It was probably meant as a rhetorical question, but he answered.

"She was searching through the archives for a method to restore the dead to life." He replied, and heard Master Retaw make a very strange noise- one that sounded like one that Kendalina had made once, when she'd stubbed her toe on something.

"She was WHAT?" Master Retaw demanded, but Triclops managed to keep her from shouting.

"She will not do it again, I promise! I will make sure she does not- please do not be mad!" He pleaded, bringing Master Retaw's voice down to a more tolerable level, "She was just upset- I do not think she meant to use it seriously... Please... Kendalina is not trying to do anything bad... she is just upset..."

Master Retaw's jaw clenched, but she said nothing.

"...I was telling you because... I was wondering, if there is a way that Kendalina will still be able to learn from Master Yaddle, even if she is dead..."

Master Retaw stared at Triclops for a moment, before shaking her head.

"Triclops, you still don't understand, do you?" She asked, and Triclops frowned, confused, but still desperate, "Kendalina doesn't miss Master Yaddle JUST as a teacher... but she misses her because she valued Master Yaddle as a person- as a person to talk to, with a soul and personality that was completely unique, and a history that nobody else has. It's not just that we've lost a great master and medic, but the person Master Yaddle was is also missing for Kendalina..."

Triclops shut his mouth, again, uncomfortable, and unsure how he was supposed to explain what he knew was so upsetting for Kendalina about this. Part of it was because he could hear Master Retaw's unspoken words that death was not something that was supposed to be negative for the Jedi, that the dead were not meant to be missed or regretted.

"...But... would giving Kendalina a way to continue to learn... would that not make it easier to help her accept that Master Yaddle has died?" He finally asked. Master Retaw raised an eyebrow, "...Because... Kendalina feels... that, since Master Yaddle has died, she can not become a medic, now..."

Master Retaw paused, considered it, then frowned again.

"...Did you hear her saying that?" She asked. Triclops bit his lip, then looked away.

"I see..."

* * *

Triclops dreamt again that night of things that he could no longer remember. In the back of his mind, he remembered being very small, small enough that he fit in the hands of the people who were bigger than him... or at least things like his neck, wrists, waist, head, and legs.

He remembered always being quiet, or else someone would come and make him be quiet... and it would always hurt, but Triclops doesn't remember exactly which nerves it was that would be stimulated.

The scene that he remembered was one that he'd had snippets of on the night Master Kenobi returned with news of Master Yaddle's death.

But he remembered something from his dream when he awoke this time- a single word.

"_Sold"_

* * *

That day, for the first time, Kendalina could not find Triclops. He was not waiting for her outside the doors when her lessons ended, nor was he in their room. Even Master Retaw did not know where he was, until a helpful youngling told them she had seen "Some strange guy with white hair in the archives."

"Trike, what're you doing in here?" Kendalina asked, before Triclops turned around.

"...I remembered something about my past..." He whispered. Kendalina's eyes brightened, before she pulled up a hover chair and sat next to him, expectantly.

"Yeah?" Triclops was silent, before his eyes flickered away, then back to Kendalina's face.

"...I remembered hearing the word... 'Sold'..." He said, and Kendalina's excitement faded for a moment, before he continued, "...And... I think... whoever said it... was talking about me..."

Kendalina's eyes widened again, but this time, with a look that made Triclops feel as though he'd said the very WRONG thing, because there was something burning behind Kendalina's eyes.

"...Someone... SOLD you?" She whispered. Triclops blinked for a moment, then nodded, cautiously, before prodding, slightly.

"...Kendalina... what does that mean? Why are you so upset?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina's head bowed until she was leaning against Triclops' shoulder, one hand coming up to clench in the sleeve of his right arm.

"...Someone... someone sold you... as a slave..." She hissed, but she seemed to be talking to herself, more than anyone else.

There was a small crash in the archives, but when they both looked up, they only saw Master Kenobi striding past in the direction of the noise.

It was enough to clear Kendalina's bad mood, but Triclops had a new question.

"What is a 'Slave', Kendalina?" He asked, before Kendalina gritted her teeth.

"...When someone's a slave... other people treat them like property... and own and buy and sell them... and act as though they're objects..." Her voice was strained, but Triclops heard it, still confused.

"And... why are you upset?" He asked, again. Kendalina breathed in and out for a few moments, before she looked up.

She was still silent, but her eyes bored into Triclops', as though she were searching for something with those blind eyes of hers.

Kendalina's lips parted.

"...You're not a thing- you're a person..." She mumbled, at last, almost in a daze. Triclops blinked, nonplussed, before Kendalina whispered it again, a little louder, "You're not a thing- you're a person." Triclops still said nothing.

Kendalina beat a fist against his chest.

"TRICLOPS! SAY SOMETHING!" She shouted, making him jump, but Triclops did say something.

"...I am not a thing... I am a person..." He finally muttered, figuring that's what Kendalina was getting at. At any rate, she smiled again.

"Say it again." She whispered. Triclops cast an eye about, feeling somewhat self conscious, but Kendalina turned his face back, as though to say 'Who cares what they think?'

"I am not a thing- I am a person." He said, again. He said it so calmly that Kendalina was getting angry again, he could tell.

"Why aren't you UPSET?" She demanded, but Triclops only frowned.

"...I do not know... why I should be..." He answered. Kendalina sat up, again, frowning, but dropped the subject, turning to the computer he'd been studying.

On the data screen, she could see information about the sciences.

"What's this?" She asked, and Triclops looked away, guiltily.

"I was trying to find information about medicine... maybe, if you just learn how to apply the Force to regular medical techniques... you might be able to become a medic..."

Kendalina was speechless.


	12. Part II: Chapter 4

By Sapadu

Chapter 4: Magnanimity

mag·na·nim·i·ty /ˌmægnəˈnɪmti/ Pronunciation Key - [mag-n_uh_-**nim**-i-tee

–noun, plural -ties for 2.

1. the quality of being magnanimous: being generous in forgiving an insult or injury; free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness; being high-minded or noble

2. a magnanimous act

3. liberality in bestowing gifts; extremely liberal and generous of spirit

4._Aristotle_ believing oneself worthy of great things and truly being worthy of great things.

"Why aren't you in the archives, again?" Master Retaw asked Triclops, as she found him with a data pad in the training area. Kendalina was nearby, sparring with another padawan, whom didn't seem to be happy about the way the spar was going.

Triclops simply pointed at Kendalina, not looking up from the data pad.

"Oh." Master Retaw mumbled, before leaning over Triclops' shoulder, "What is it?"

"It is a report about the slave trade- I am trying to understand what my life was like before I came here." Triclops mumbled, eyes still fixated on the screen. Master Retaw frowned, then gave him an odd look.

"Why? If you know that you were a slave before coming here, whaddya need to research it for?" Master Retaw asked, but stopped as Triclops' eyes misted over. He wasn't about to cry, necessarily, but it was as though his mind was distancing itself from his body.

"...I... do not truly remember... anything about that time..." Triclops said, slowly, as the noises from the two Jedi learners sparring in the background seemed to dim, "...Because I did not understand anything that was happening... because I did not know the words to put to those moments... because I did not even know... what I was thinking or feeling... everything from that time is so dim and distant... and there are many moments that I do not remember at all..."

Master Retaw was quiet, then asked, slowly,

"What do you remember?" Triclops looked up from the data pad into Master Retaw's eyes for a moment, then back down, eyes shut, as though centering himself.

"...I was..." He began slowly, the tiniest portion of memories coming back to him, "...In pain... very much..." He frowned a little, "...And... that I was always... afraid..." His eyes opened, "...But nothing else... is easy to remember clearly..."

Master Retaw looked away, uncomfortably, towards Kendalina, whom had apparently begun to resort to the usual tooth-and-nail attacks that she'd been taught to defend herself. Master Retaw frowned.

"Why is Kendalina sparring with him, of all people?" She asked. Triclops looked up from his datapad, again, towards Kendalina and her opponent, then back down.

"He called me some word that made Kendalina mad, and so, she is now fighting with him..." Master Retaw rolled her eyes- she was getting used to these occurrences.

"Do you remember what word it was?" She asked Triclops, who looked up towards the ceiling, brow creased in concentration.

"It was some weird word... I could not figure out how to spell it, so I can not remember well... Ha... Huh... Hoh... It started with that kind of sound..." He mused, and that was enough to make Master Retaw's jaw drop.

"He called you THAT?" She demanded, causing Triclops to perk up, brightly.

"Oh! So you know what word it was- what does it mean?" But Master Retaw didn't answer, as her attention had shifted back to Kendalina's battle with the older padawan, as she had finally pinned him to the floor with his arm twisted behind his back.

"NOW TAKE IT BACK!" Kendalina shouted. The other student grimaced and turned his head enough to glare back up at her.

"Never!"

"TAKE IT BACK, OR I'LL PULL YOUR ARM OUT!"

"Kendalina, that's enough." Master Retaw shouted, moving to pull her apprentice off the other, but was stopped as another few people entered the room, apparently attracted by the raised, high-pitched voice of Kendalina.

Master Yoda and Master Windu.

"What's going on here?" Master Windu asked, looking straight at the other padawan. Oh- the padawan was one of Master Windu's apprentices... this just kept getting better and better.

"He started it!" Kendalina trilled, even as she moved away, allowing the other to move out.

"I'm not interested in who started it- I want to know what was happening." Master Windu replied, still frowning. Kendalina wrinkled her nose and squinted.

"If you can't see with your own eyes what was happening, you don't deserve to be told." She snapped, before Master Retaw glared at her, face red.

"Kendalina, watch your mouth." Triclops glanced up at Master Retaw, who wasn't looking even remotely in Master Windu's direction, as though she were worried that she might be burned if she looked up. Master Windu shot her one of his looks.

"Master Retaw, control your padawan." He said, sternly.

"Yes, Master Windu." Master Retaw mumbled, taking a few steps forward, extending a hand as though to restrain Kendalina by her shoulder, but she didn't make any real effort, as Kendalina easily shook her off and she did not try to stop her a second time.

Master Yoda continued to say nothing, as a third head poked in, revealing to be a Knight.

"Is Flat-Chest-Retaw's apprentice acting up again?" He asked, not as a sneer, but with a not-so subtle tone in his voice that clearly expressed his opinion of Master Retaw. Master Windu turned his head slightly, with a disapproving look, but when he said nothing, Kendalina filled in.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" She shouted, before Master Retaw's hand shot out again, in an attempt to keep Kendalina from attacking someone twice her size.

"Kendalina, it's not your place..." She hissed, but Kendalina didn't listen... or at least, not enough to reason.

"Master Retaw, didn't you hear what he CALLED you?" She demanded, "It damn well is my place!" Master Retaw let out a long breath through her nose, trying to keep calm.

"He's a Knight, and you are still a padawan." She whispered, "Let Master Windu deal with this."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHISPER- EVERYONE CAN HEAR ME, ANYWAY!" Kendalina shouted, bringing a few more heads into the training area, "And how am I supposed to become the Greatest Jedi Ever Lived if everyone else always does my work for me?!" Hearing Kendalina shout and brag about her self-proposed goal had a much more negative effect on Master Retaw, as she went red, while the watching Knights, Padawans, Younglings, and even a few of the Masters started to snicker or scorn Kendalina's outburst.

"Kendalina, do I need to retell Ondan Urr's fable?" Master Retaw asked, gaining her composure. Kendalina continued to squint.

"Well, what about all THEM?" She demanded, stomping a foot and pointing at all the audience, whom were becoming more vocal about their disapproval of Kendalina's declaration, "If Jedi are allowed to be that narrow-minded and snooty, that puts even more shame on a Jedi who honestly is willing to work hard and fight for the honor of an important person!" Master Retaw's shamed flush spread to the back of her neck, before Master Yoda finally spoke up.

"If the Greatest, determined to be are you..." He said, setting down his grimer stick, "A challenge, you shall have."

The room went quiet, in shock with Master Yoda actually issuing a challenge to a padawan like that.

'Yes, to Mater Yoda you listen.' Master Retaw thought, bitterly. With a slight push in the back from Triclops, the two went to the side of the room where they would not be in the way.

Kendalina was still squinting.

"Challenge?" She asked, grumpily. Master Yoda nodded, before pulling something out of his pocket.

"Somewhere in this room, this bell I will hide." He explained holding up a small, round bell where everyone could see it and a small, clear jingle was heard as it shivered from it's string. Kendalina had her arms folded across her chest and she was still squinting, crossly, but she listened, "Find it, you must."

Kendalina puckered her lips, then pulled them back in, then stuck them out again.

"That's... it?" She asked, "How many chances do I get?"

"As many as need, do you. But, for every failure, punishment, there will be."

Even the onlookers were confused, until Triclops whispered to Master Retaw,

"This is not like Master Yoda... Why is he..." And someone behind them muttered,

"He's gonna hide it somewhere where she can't get it to teach her a lesson about being arrogant." Triclops felt a shiver go up his spine, but in the end, could only stand there and watch the lesson proceed, as Master Yoda pulled the bell up into his hand by the string and then, when he opened his hand again, it had disappeared.

At first, Kendalina just sat there, contemplating where he could have hidden it, before she quickly announced that Master Yoda would have, logically, hidden it on his person, to make it harder for her to get it. And then, the first punch was thrown.

* * *

The challenge Master Yoda had issued continued well into the afternoon, by which, a few more bookkeeping types of Jedi came by, insisting that there were other students to train and nobody had time to be watching. One of the Masters finally shushed all protests saying that Master Yoda had a purpose in allowing others to watch the training.

Kendalina had tried, thus far, to attack Master Yoda all of 97 times, each time resulting in Yoda outrunning, jumping, or simply outwitting her and giving her a severe whack with his stick. Kendalina didn't seem to be learning, for she kept getting back on her feet and charging at Master Yoda again.

Kendalina got back to her feet and charged. Master Yoda ducked with a bored expression, and then moved out of the way as Kendalina moved her body to attack from behind the next moment, and then dodged again as Kendalina came from his right, then twisted around to attack his left.

Master Yoda hit her across the face with his stick, but with a new force that sent Kendalina flying all the way across the room.

Master Retaw opened her mouth to protest, but shut it at the hisses that everyone watching was emitting, in their approval of Master Yoda's apparent victory.

"Who's Master Yoda fighting with?" Triclops heard a youngling ask her friend behind him and Master Retaw. The youngling snickered, and answered in a whisper that wasn't really a whisper, because everyone heard it.

"It's Flat-Chest-Retaw's apprentice- you know, the loud one." The first one snickered.

"You say that like she HAS another apprentice- I'll bet she'll never teach another student after this one."

Triclops could tell Kendalina heard it, because she snarled a little, before Master Yoda tapped the floor with his stick.

"Focus, you must keep, Padawan Orewahime."

Triclops could see Kendalina getting angrier, to the point that he saw her arms shake, before she brought a hand up to her mouth and bit. A trickle of blood ran down the back of her hand, but her shaking stopped and her breath evened. Triclops cringed, and looked away.

"Only a Sith would calm at the sight of blood." Triclops could hear a Master hiss under his breath, and an unspoken scorn of 'Flat-Chest-Retaw' following it. Triclops glanced up at Master Retaw, who was hanging her head so that her bangs fell over her face.

Kendalina, on the other hand had calmed and was pressing her fingertips together, as though to allow the energy in her fingers to circulate.

"Find the bell, you cannot, Padawan Orewahime." Master Yoda said, quietly. It was enough of a hint that Triclops suddenly understood- Master Yoda had hidden the bell somewhere in the room that Kendalina would never think to look: On HERSELF! And because Kendalina had never considered that it might be hidden on herself, she would never think to look.

Triclops opened his mouth to speak, but Master Retaw put a hand on his shoulder, apparently having come to the same realization.

"You can't help her, Triclops. This is a lesson she has to learn." Triclops' mouth closed, but he continued to watch, worriedly.

Kendalina was busy panting, before she grinned at Master Yoda with a positive kind of defiance.

"You keep thinking that- I'll figure it out, soon enough." She replied, before putting her hands together and closing her eyes. At first, nothing seemed to happen, but Triclops could see, quite clearly after a few minutes, that her bruises were healing and the bite on her hand was sealing up.

He heard Master Retaw take in a slight breath.

"Triclops... I thought she hadn't learned that far in Healing abilities..." She whispered, leaning down so only they could hear it. Triclops frowned a little, too.

"So did I..." He whispered back.

Kendalina let out a dramatic breath and then steadied herself, before taking off at a run. However, instead of running towards Master Yoda, she swerved to the side and jumped onto the wall.

Master Yoda's eyes never left her for a second.

Kendalina jumped and landed on the opposite wall, but only lingered for a second. Her body disappeared in a flicker before she landed on the ground next to Master Yoda and almost landed a kick, but Master Yoda jumped out of the way just in time, returning the kick and sending Kendalina back to her original spot.

But it was difficult to not notice how Master Yoda had been taken by slight surprise. Particularly, as Kendalina was back on her feet and this time had jumped for an aerial attack. Master Yoda parried her attack with ease, but barely got out of the way as something came flying at him from below.

Triclops heard Master Retaw grunt.

"Why is Master Yoda so slow? He's better than this..." She muttered, but he said nothing.

There was a loud thump as Kendalina ended up flat on her back, again, with a growing lump on her forehead.

"How many times was that? Was anyone counting?" Kendalina asked when she managed to sit up. Triclops couldn't help himself- the number fell out of his mouth.

"That last one was 99." Kendalina stood, brushed herself off, but more in a manner to calm herself, then sat down again.

"So this next one will make an even 100... what say that if I don't get it right on this last one, we end it?" She offered.

Master Yoda raised an eyebrow.

"So easy to surrender are you?" He asked, but Kendalina kept grinning.

"If I put all my bets on this last round, my chances for actually making it will go up." She replied, confidently, "And besides, I have no intention of losing to you this time." Exactly who she was addressing was unclear, as far as Triclops could see, but from how the other Jedi began to scoff, he knew they believed she was talking to Master Yoda.

"Begin, then." Master Yoda replied, his eyes narrowing and staring down at Kendalina with an almost imperious look. Instead of attacking, or even charging, Kendalina crouched on her feet and put her fingertips together, eyes shut in concentration.

She stayed that way for a long time, before even the Jedi watching were wondering if she was expecting Master Yoda to make the first attack.

"Master Yoda..." She finally said, slowly. Master Yoda's ears perked a little, as he shifted a little, as though to get comfortable.

"Something to say, have you?" He asked. Kendalina was quiet, before she she looked up from the spot at the floor she'd been focusing on.

"Why do you think I'm doing this?" She asked, and when Master Yoda frowned, she continued, "I never do something for no reason at all. I always have a reason for everything I do... and I was just thinking about why you were doing this... what your motives were in setting this challenge and what your purpose was to teach me... then it got me to wondering what MY motives were in taking you up... and so, I wondered... why do YOU think I'm fighting like this? Right now?" Kendalina repeated, but Master Yoda was no longer frowning.

"A great deal of anger, I sense in you." He said, simply. Kendalina rolled her eyes.

"Okay- I'm angry. I'll admit to it, even: I know I have a short temper, and I know that I overreact to a lot of little things that I shouldn't, and I know that I get pissed off really easily. But WHY- what made me so mad that I'd be willing to fight YOU? What could have possibly hit such a nerve that I would willingly accept a challenge from one of the greatest Masters, whom I respect and admire? What do you think about that, Master Yoda?" She asked. Master Yoda was silent, but in the end, did not answer.

"Why so concerned, are you?" Master Yoda asked. Kendalina flopped down and crossed her legs.

"Because I don't like when people misunderstand my intentions. I want people to know what my purpose is and to not be doubted in it. Because, until that happens, people will make judgments about me without really knowing what I'm really like, and then, they jump to conclusions, and then..." Kendalina's voice trailed off, as though she were looking for a better phrase than 'Bad things happen.'

"Wish to be judged for who you are, do you?" Master Yoda asked. There was no disapproval in his voice, but there was no encouragement, either.

"Not just that, but how other people see me also reflects on people who are connected to me- if people just pass me off as being a loud-mouthed, selfish, little brat, it looks bad for you and Master Yaddle and Master Retaw and Triclops, because you guys all are related to me in some way, and so people will think that what's wrong with me had something to do with because you're bad people or something like that! But, but but but but- but if they're wrong about how they perceive me just because they decided something about me without taking the time to understand me, then it makes problems for you guys!"

Triclops practically felt the wave of people frowning as Kendalina made her declaration.

"If know that, you do, why fail to improve your behavior, do you?" Master Yoda asked, with a similar kind of tone. Kendalina made a disdainful noise in the back of her throat.

"There's nothing WRONG with my behavior- it's other people who have a problem. I'm not gonna change just cuz people are too impatient to get to know me before they jump to their conclusions! That's something wrong with THEM, not ME!" She retorted, eyes still squinting and nose still wrinkled.

"Padawan Orewahime..." Piped up one of the Knights in the audience, but he was shushed by a Master.

"So certain are you?" Master Yoda asked, with a scrutinizing glance. Kendalina snorted.

"I don't care if people insult me- they're probably right, most of the time, but if someone insults Master Retaw or Triclops, they're gonna see Hell, end of discussion!" She snapped. Master Yoda's eyebrows raised.

"And before you say that attachment is forbidden to the Jedi, lemme ask you something- would you say that caring about someone is being attached to them?" Kendalina interrupted before Master Yoda could say anything. He considered her question, a little, before agreeing that caring was, indeed, attachment, "So, if it's forbidden for the Jedi to be attached, that means it is also forbidden for them to care about other people."

"This is true." Master Yoda agreed, and Triclops could see Kendalina growing agitated with how nobody seemed to understand what was so wrong with this fact.

"But that's a PROBLEM!" She suddenly burst out, after a few minutes and nobody saying anything, "There's a word for not caring- it's called 'Careless!'" Given the several other meanings the word 'Careless' also held, several of the Jedi watching squirmed a little, "If you don't care about SOMETHING or SOMEBODY, there's no POINT in even living, let alone being a Jedi!"

Triclops stared at Kendalina for a moment, wondering when she'd come to this epiphany, before Master Yoda interrupted.

"The way of the Sith, passion like that is." He said, firmly. Kendalina glared.

"No, it ISN'T! The way of the Sith is about EXTREMES! There've been Sith who're completely emotionless and uncaring, and they're even worse than the passionate ones. If a Jedi acts like that, they're no better! Having peace an' everything is great and all, but if you don't have a little bit of passion to keep driving you forward, it's like having a billion credits, and none of them are even worth the material they're printed on!" Kendalina shouted, voice shrill enough that some alien species with ears tuned to higher frequencies had to cover their ears. Only Master Yoda remained firmly in his position.

"The way of the Jedi, it is not." He replied, sternly. Kendalina slammed her fist down on the floor, making everyone jump.

"Screw that: It's MY way of the Jedi!" At this, Triclops saw Master Retaw cover her face with her hands in utter shame, while the others watching began to whisper among themselves some rather impolite remarks about how 'Flat-Chest-Retaw's apprentice was about to kicked out.'

Master Yoda started to laugh- and not in a way that made Triclops nervous.

"Many Jedi like this, there have been in the past. And all great, were they." Master Yoda mused, closing his eyes with reflection, ears wriggling, before he looked up and smiled at Kendalina, "Determined to be the Greatest, are you?" He asked. Kendalina was grinning again.

"You betcha I am!" She said, back. Master Yoda threw his stick aside and moved into a stance that only other Master's had seen when Master Yoda had fought on the front lines in wars.

Kendalina's eyes brightened, for just a moment.

"Teach you, I will." Master Yoda declared, solemnly, but with a note of pride.

Kendalina fell over, laughing and pointing. Absolutely everyone stared in utter horror at Kendalina's attitude.

"YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU TOTALLY FELL FOR IT, YOU LITTLE OLD GREEN MAN! HA HA HA!" She shouted, cackling in delight at whatever she'd managed to pull off.

Master Yoda made no move, but simply raised half of his brow. When Kendalina finished laughing, she sat up with a mischievous grin.

"Not to say I was lying about any of what I just said, but I can't believe you took the conversation seriously!" She snickered, before deciding to explain, "Master Yoda, you walked right into my trap!"

"Trap me, did you?" Master Yoda sounded singularly unimpressed.

"Like I said, I wasn't lying about any of what I was saying, but I was just talking to keep you distracted- while we were having this battle of wits, I used the Force to find the bell and bring it to my hand." Kendalina held up one fist and opened it just enough that everyone could see the same bell Master Yoda had hidden drop out from between her fingers with a jingle.

Triclops felt his jaw fall open, and from the noises of surprise all around him, he knew that everyone else witnessing this was doing the same. Even Master Retaw was gaping in shock. Triclops simply stared for a few moments, completely unable to do anything.

'Was Kendalina...' He wondered, 'Always just pretending... was she always... like this?'

Master Yoda's face remained impassive, before he shook his head.

"Mistaken, you are, Padawan Orewahime." He said, slowly, "The wrong bell, you have."

A breath of relief issued from all the other's, as though to say 'I KNEW she couldn't do it.' Kendalina, however huffed.

"Prove it." She snapped. In reply, Master Yoda reached into his back pocket and pulled out a single ball of metal. Not the bell, but far tinier than the bell- the ball inside which would have made the jingling noise. Kendalina's bell jingled again, and everyone knew.

Kendalina just sat there, before Master Yoda charged, with his stick raised, ready to hit Kendalina's head in final punishment for failing the test.

Before Triclops saw her smirk. Kendalina's arm went up and blocked the attack, surprising even Master Yoda, before she ducked out.

"This turn's still on." Kendalina declared, fiercely, but continuing to watch Master Yoda in case he decided it wasn't, "You, Master Yoda, just told me everything I need to know to say where the bell is."

There were snorts, as though people didn't believe her, or weren't about to fall for the same trick again.

"During all the turns that I spent attacking you and trying to get the bell off of you, I kept wondering why, when you moved, there wasn't any noise. No matter where you hid it, the bell still would have rattled. So, I decided to use a bluff to try and get you to reveal where it was- it didn't really work, because, instead of reaching for the bell when I revealed the fake one I had, you didn't even look. But that told me something- you hid the bell somewhere on your person right next to your skin. That way, you knew without even seeing that the bell was still there- because you could still FEEL it!" Kendalina pointed at Master Yoda with a kind of triumph, despite his lack of ability to look impressed.

"What did you use to make the fake bell, Padawan Orewahime?" He asked, calmly, and Kendalina scratched the back of her head, modestly.

"Oh- I used the metal case which protected the data card that Trike has in that data pad over there!" She said, shrugging, and Triclops heard someone let out a low whistle, "But in any case, after all that, you showed me the ball bearing, instead of showing me where the bell was, but that just gave me another clue- if you needed to take out the ball bearing that made it make noise, you would have hid it somewhere where the ringing would have both given away it's position AND handicapped your ability to move around. I noticed, because during the 99 tries I took before this, your reflexes were just a little slower than usual and your balance wasn't as good as normal. Master Yoda, you hid the bell INSIDE YOUR EARS!"

The seemingly absurd declaration was met with a great deal of staring and blank silence before Master Yoda, betraying no surprise looked Kendalina in the eye and posed a question.

"Which one?"

Kendalina grinned, put her hands on her hips, before pointing.

"Both."

Triclops heard Master Retaw sigh as she hung her head in disappointment.

"Master Retaw?" He asked, quietly, before she explained.

"You can't hide one bell inside both ears... Kendalina is making the mistake of thinking that, because it's come down to a choice test, neither of the choices will be right because the answer will be both." She explained. Others had apparently come to the same conclusion, though nobody could say which ear Master Yoda had hidden it in.

The room fell silent as Master Yoda reached into both his ears and, from each, he pulled half of the bell.

"Correct, you are, Padawan Orewahime." Master Yoda said, solemnly.

Kendalina had barely had a chance to laugh her boisterous laugh and scratch the back of her head before a tiny green whirlwind kicked her in the face, sending her flying. Master Yoda landed cleanly on his feet before Kendalina landed on her back.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" She shouted, angrily. Master Yoda brushed himself off, lips pursed.

"'Little old green man'?" He questioned, quoting Kendalina's earlier nickname for him. Kendalina's nose wrinkled, again.

"THAT WAS A JOKE, AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU OLD GEEZER!" Kendalina shouted, while the people watching, aside from Triclops and Master Retaw, somehow or another disappeared, too embarrassed to stay and watch the end.

* * *

"Kendalina?" Triclops asked as Kendalina treated her injury with a swab of bacta, muttering something about 'Stupid Master Yoda and the claws on his feet.'

"Wha?" Kendalina asked, holding the swab stick between her teeth.

"Why did you not just ASK Master Yoda where he hid the bell?" Triclops asked. Kendalina turned around, slowly, to stare at Triclops, "I am sure he would have told you."

Kendalina just stared for a moment, before she grinned.

"Aww- but where'd the FUN be? If I just took the easy way out, there's no CHALLENGE... nothing to learn from!" She smirked, then turned away so Triclops didn't see her berate herself for not having that kind of foresight.


	13. Part II: Chapter 5

By Sapadu

Chapter 5: Past

past /pæst, pɑst/ Pronunciation Key - [past, pahst

–adjective

1. gone by or elapsed in time

2. of, having existed in, or having occurred during a time previous to the present; bygone

3. gone by just before the present time; just passed

5. having formerly been or served as; previous; earlier

6. Grammar. designating a tense, or other verb formation or construction, that refers to events or states in time gone by

–noun

8. the history of a person, nation, etc

9. what has existed or has happened at some earlier time

11. an earlier period of a person's life, career, etc., that is thought to be of a shameful or embarrassing nature

–adverb

13. so as to pass by or beyond; by

–preposition

14. beyond in time; later than; after

15. beyond in space or position; farther on than

18. beyond the reach, scope, influence, or power of

After the incident with Master Yoda, Kendalina continued to meet with Master Yoda, honing her abilities not related to medicine. Master Retaw supervised as many of Kendalina's training sessions as possible, and it was enough to know that her student was growing rapidly as a Jedi. It would have been alarming, but Master Retaw wrote it off as because Master Yoda was the one teaching her.

She also wrote off some new abilities, ones which Kendalina claimed to have invented, to be due to Master Yoda's personality quirk of pulling pranks.

The only one that Master Retaw ever heard about was when she found a Knight passed out on the floor, a trail of blood leaking from his nose, and mumbling something about 'Being attacked by boobies.' Kendalina took very special care to be sure Master Retaw never saw the special 'Knock-out Illusion' that she and Master Yoda had formulated together.

"Sorry, Master Retaw- I don't know what it'll do to another woman." Kendalina managed to say this with an innocent face when her teacher interrogated her. Master Retaw was annoyed, but she relented.

"Alright, but I better not catch you doing it, especially on this assignment." Master Retaw said, sternly, which made both Kendalina and Triclops' ears perk up. The two of them had been in the archives again. Triclops' search for information on his origin had been distracted by an irrelevant article about piracy, which lead to a very interesting work of fiction that had proved much more entertaining than the dull reports on shipment yards. Kendalina had been browsing through science papers, trying to sort out the files that she'd already read and studied from ones that she still needed to browse.

The mention of an assignment for Kendalina immediately drew both of them off their search topics.

"Assignment? You mean, as in, a MISSION!? Something to DO?" Kendalina asked, jumping up and down with excitement that Master Retaw obviously did not think was possible for someone of her size and age.

Triclops sat by, wisely silent.

"Yes- something to do." Master Retaw replied, sighing just a little. Kendalina cheered, jubilantly, while Triclops continued to sit and watch.

"Now, Kendalina, listen while I tell you what it IS..." Master Retaw eventually had to put a hand over Kendalina's mouth for her to get a word in edgewise, effectively putting Kendalina back in her seat, all ears.

"Wassit wassit wassit? Where're we going? What're we doin'? Somethin' important? Somethin' nobody else wants to do? Somethin' nobody else CAN do? Or some super secret mission that nobody else can know about and you can't even tell me what it is?" Being all ears had never stopped Kendalina from talking before. Triclops supposed it was only natural.

Master Retaw shook her head.

"I can tell you what it is- don't worry." She said. Kendalina sat back down, slightly disappointed that it wouldn't be something top secret and mysterious, but still bright-eyed.

"And this is a very important mission that nobody else can do- we're going to the med centers all over Coruscant today." Kendalina's eyes practically fell out of her skull.

"ALL OVER CORUSCANT?! ALL OF THEM?! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! OR IS THIS GOING TO BE A FEW DAYS?" Kendalina's excitement was building again. Master Retaw smiled, disarmingly.

"It will be a few days- and we'll be riding in transport vehicles between stops too far apart to walk. After that, things should be taken care of on their own." She assured her padawan, "And you'll be learning all sorts of things about being a medic."

Kendalina couldn't have looked more delighted.

"REALLY?! Like what?" She asked, beaming.

"Well..." Master Retaw paused, "You'll learn the proper standard procedure for the disposal of medical wastes and toxins."

For a moment, Kendalina paused, as though suddenly she'd been colored in black, white, and grays for that pause of a second.

With the same bright smile on her face, but none of the former enthusiasm behind it, she spoke,

"...So... we're doing garbage duty for hospitals..." Her voice was quiet and bland.

Master Retaw smiled, innocently.

* * *

"Master Retaw..." Kendalina said, about an hour later as she dragged a large bag full of disposed medical gloves, alcohol swabs, and bacta patches. Master Retaw was carrying two larger bags over her shoulders and leading the way to the center where the materials were dealt with. Her bags contained such things as disposed needles, tubes that had held samples, and surgical instruments, so they were also probably much heavier than Kendalina's, which made the padawan wonder exactly HOW Master Retaw could lift them.

Master Retaw turned as she was addressed, pausing in her step.

"Yes?" She asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"...You..." Kendalina panted, "Are a dirty, low-down, good-for-nothing, sneaky, rotten LIAR!" She managed. Master Retaw raised an eyebrow at her pupil, but said nothing, clearly waiting for Kendalina to continue, which she did, but, thankfully, did not yell. By the time Kendalina had cursed at her Master and called her every name she could think of, she was panting and had collapsed to her knees.

Leaning over, Master Retaw whispered.

"You forgot 'Flat-Chest-Retaw'." Not snidely or smugly, but it was enough to make Kendalina glare up at her.

"I can CHANGE that nickname." Her tone was threatening, which made Master Retaw raise an eyebrow.

"...And that's... a BAD thing?" She asked. Kendalina was still scowling.

"Yeah- because I'll do it by punching you in the chest over and over until it swells up." Kendalina snapped. Master Retaw paused, considering this, but eventually shrugged.

"When you can carry that bag on your shoulder, we'll see how well you'll be able to punch me that hard." She said, almost dismissively as she turned again. Agitated, Kendalina let go of her bag and jumped at Master Retaw, ready to punch.

She barely saw her teacher move, but the next thing she knew, Master Retaw had thrown one of her shouldered bags into the other hand and caught the punch in her now free hand. Kendalina hung, frozen, for a moment, before Master Retaw threw her back. Kendalina hit the ground with a snort, but flipped back up onto her feet.

It was with a new sense of awe that she looked up at her teacher, who was now holding both her bags of waste in one hand over her shoulder, and if Kendalina was any judge of expression, it was with some great ease. It just gave Kendalina a sharp, but subtle reminder that she knew next to nothing about her teacher, whom had essentially raised her.

"Where'd you learn to be that strong?" She was back on her feet, pulling the garbage she'd been designated with renewed vigor.

Master Retaw paused in her step, turning to look at Kendalina. Kendalina continued in her step, trying to catch up to her teacher, and didn't notice the flicker of an obscure emotion flit through the blue eyes of the older woman.

"You don't LEARN to be strong- that's something that develops as you use your muscles." Master Retaw answered. Kendalina snorted, but still looked impressed.

"How do you develop them, then?" She asked, persistently. Master Retaw shrugged.

"I just trained." Her voice was casual, but Kendalina, having spent years learning to use her ears alone to hear things other people didn't, heard something under it.

"How long? With who? How hard? What kinda stuff did you do? How many years did it take for your muscles to get that big? Did Master Yoda train you, like he's doing me right now, or were you learning with your Master or with another padawan?" Kendalina's line of questioning was endless, until she ran out of breath, giving Master Retaw a chance to speak.

However, Master Retaw's reply was somewhat hesitant, as though some great secret was concealed in her past.

"...I wasn't under a Master when I developed these muscles." Master Retaw finally said, quietly.

"Eh? So you were still a youngling? WOW! THAT'S AMAZING! HA HA HA! AND WAIT TILL I TELL THE OTHER MASTERS- I'LL BET THEY'LL FEEL STUPID!" Kendalina laughed, loudly, but it didn't seem to cheer Master Retaw up, in fact, it only made her more solemn.

"They know." Very few things could stop Kendalina's rambunctious rants and loud laughter so well, but these two words in such a conversation did the very trick. Kendalina stared at her master, appalled at what she'd said.

"...They know?" She asked, confused, "How? Were they in the same clan as you?" Master Retaw nodded, prompting Kendalina to laugh again, "HAH! WELL, I'LL BET YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE TO BECOME THIS STRONG WHILE YOU WERE STILL A YOUNGLING! HOW'D YA DO IT?"

Master Retaw didn't scowl, but Kendalina got the impression she wanted to.

"Well, fifty years of being a youngling gave me time to kill, so I put my energy into this." Master Retaw flexed one of her arm muscles, but Kendalina wasn't listening- her mind had halted at the words 'Fifty years.'

"...Huh?" Kendalina blinked, blankly, but Master Retaw didn't repeat herself, "YOU WERE STUCK AS A YOUNGLING FOR FIFTY YEARS?!" She demanded. Master Retaw didn't answer, but wore a rather uncomfortable expression.

"My species ages much slower than humans do- for the first ten years after I hatched, I was dependent on my mother for everything, and for another two years after that, I still wasn't able to leave the pond in a humanoid form. I was allowed a little more leeway in finding a Master than Humans and other aliens are, but I was entered into the Exploration Corps when I was thirty-five- that's about thirteen in Human years." Kendalina gaped, realizing that, if thirty-five was roughly equivalent for Master Retaw to be ten, then she was REALLY old to still look like a nineteen-year-old Human.

Because Kendalina hadn't said anything, Master Retaw took it as a cue to continue.

"During the time I was still a youngling and watching all the others from my clan going off with their Masters to be Jedi Padawans, I put my efforts into maturing, physically. By the time I was thirty, I'd obtained this prodigious strength that most Humans would have to dedicate half their life to gaining. But, eventually, I was Knighted." Master Retaw spoke with a finality that Kendalina didn't argue with, but instead, somewhat seemed to show a little more respect for.

"How do I do that?" She asked, eagerly. Master Retaw gave her one of her Looks, then smiled, just a little.

"For starters, pick up that bag and we need to start walking- the sanitation crew is about to move on." Master Retaw replied, turning and starting to walk again.

Kendalina took her Master at her word, hauling the sack of garbage, at least twice her own size, onto her back and letting out a squawk of surprise and pain as she collapsed, pinned under it's weight, after only a step. Master Retaw spun around, shouting in panic,

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT **LITERALLY**!" She shouted.

* * *

"_Aren't you Mehgan Retaw?" At the sound of the strange voice with a strange accent, Mehgan looked up to see a little girl with a creamy, brown complexion and even darker hair that was smooth like linen, kneeling in front of her. Her eyes were soft and her face shaped with curves that boasted of youth, but gentleness, and her robes were ones of a Jedi Initiate. Mehgan didn't keep eye contact for long._

"_Yes. That's me." Mehgan looked back down at her knees, "How'd you find me?"_

"_Aren't you in the same clan as me?" The girl asked. Mehgan frowned, not entirely sure, as she had a tendency to not make friends with the new younglings, since she looked older than them, "This morning, Master Yoda was teaching us."_

"_Oh. Yeah." Mehgan muttered into her knees. She was comfortable here, and, quite frankly, still not quite over the fact that she'd been passed over, again, by the Masters. She knew that Padawans were usually under thirteen, but they occasionally took on more mature apprentices from the corps. Hadn't SHE matured enough? Was she not good enough- was that it?_

_Meanwhile, still learning under the Masters in a youngling clan was also humiliating. It was almost like being made to stick out. Maybe something was WRONG with her- Mammie had told her that she'd been unusual compared to the other girls. Maybe being a Jedi was really something wrong with her brain._

_What was she supposed to DO then?_

"_A lot of the other Padawan's call you Flat-Chest-Retaw... is that because you're forty-three years old and still look like an eight-year-old?"_

_Mehgan curled up again and tried to hide in the little crevasse between the pillar outside the Hall of Knighthood and the wall- it was such a good hiding spot, where no one ever thought to look for her, and the way the hall was shaped also acted as a resonance chamber so that, when properly hidden in this spot, Mehgan never heard anybody, and nobody ever heard her, unless they were standing right next to her._

_For that reason, she used this spot as a meditation place, but also to hide when she just needed a moment to herself. Mehgan didn't think it was too much to demand to have a little private time every now and then, especially since she was, by Human standards, fourteen years old._

"_Go away." She muttered, not wanting to be teased again. She didn't know how all the others from her clan could get away with making fun of her- didn't their Masters ever wonder where they kept disappearing to?_

"_You can tease me if you want- the other younglings in my clan call me 'Forehead Freak' because I've got such a big forehead." Mehgan looked up again and noted that, indeed, the girl before had a very big forehead, but her bangs hung over it._

_After a pause, during which Mehgan debated if she wanted to go back to being self-pitying or sociable enough to be polite in telling this girl to leave her alone, she finally pulled her face away from her knees._

"_You don't sound too upset about it." She observed. The girl blinked, then smiled, shyly._

"_Usually, if someone puts someone else down, it's just because they're insecure about themselves. And when you're still training to be a Jedi Padawan, I guess everyone's at least a little insecure because they're worried if they'll be chosen by a Master, or not." Her voice was serene, but Mehgan couldn't help but wonder if she was hiding something else._

_Shyly, Mehgan reached out a hand and pushed the other girl's bangs out of her eyes._

"_Your forehead doesn't look so bad like this." She offered. The other girl's eyebrows raised, before she looked away._

"_I don't want to grow my bangs out until I've become a padawan... I was thinking of following the Chalactan Adepts... but until I've gotten old enough to really understand them, I don't want to show off my forehead... It almost feels like it would be arrogant to show it off now, when I'm not ready for the Marks of Illumination." The girl said, softly. The word 'Chalactan' sparked something in Mehgan's mind, given she had just returned from an expedition to Chalacta before the selection of Padawans._

"_You're... you're... the one who Master Windu brought back from Chalacta." Mehgan said, resisting the urge to point. The girl blushed, slightly._

"_You... you know about that?" She asked, quietly. Mehgan smiled._

"_He was in the same clan as the one you're in now when he was an initiate, and I had to stay in that clan, too..." She replied. With a small smile, the other girl offered her a hand._

"_Come out of there- I want to know more." She said. Mehgan didn't take the hand, started to scoot out, but stopped, halfway._

"_But first, you have to tell me your name- it's not fair if you know mine and I don't know yours." She said, smiling, a little. The other girl was also smiling._

"_Depa Billaba." She said. Mehgan thought about it, then asked, quietly._

"_Can I call you 'Big-Brow-Billaba'?" Depa raised an eyebrow, but then laughed, a little._

"_Only if you let me call you 'Maggie'." She replied, earning a smile._

"_It's better than being called 'Flat-Chest-Retaw'... especially by a little punk who's not even half my age." Mehgan said, good-naturedly. Depa's expression didn't change._

"_Oh, I'll be calling you that from time to time, too." She said, serenely._

* * *

Mehgan Retaw awoke from her light doze in the seat of the Sanitation Transport. She didn't often use this amazing strength of hers because of how quickly it wore her out. Kendalina was dead asleep, leaning on her as the transport moved. It was nearing nighttime now, but there were plenty of medcenters to still visit and remove the wastes from. It would not be easy to awaken her student, but Mehgan knew it had to be done.

Why did she always have such messed up dreams? It WOULD be just after her discussion with Kendalina that she suddenly had to dream about her first meeting with Depa.

Oh well- it certainly seemed to reinvigorate Kendalina's drive to do the job well, and, like Mehgan had hinted, the little one had learned a great deal about hospital procedures.

"Jedi Retaw, the next medcenter is almost up." The driver's voice informed her over the intercom. Mehgan shook herself awake.

"Thank you." She replied, starting to shake Kendalina awake. It wasn't until the transport stopped and Kendalina fell out of her seat, hitting the floor that she awoke.

* * *

Triclops was the first person to greet Kendalina when she returned from her mission a few days later. His eyes were sunken into his skull with dark rings around them, and Master Billaba was waiting with him. The first thing he did was latch on to Kendalina so tightly that Master Retaw had to pry him off to let the girl breathe.

The next thing he proceeded to do was collapse on top of Kendalina, who had to drag him back to their room so he could properly sleep. This, combined with Master Billaba's statement that she'd not seen him sleep since Kendalina had left, made both Kendalina and her teacher sigh in exasperation.

"When he wakes up, I'll give him a good talking to about sleeping, even if I'm not there." Kendalina announced, promptly, before turning to her teacher, "Master Retaw, you'll lecture him too, right?"

Master Retaw raised her eyebrow at Kendalina.

"What makes you think I'M getting involved in this?" She asked. Kendalina's eyes widened, just fractionally, but it was enough.

"But you're like the MOM, here- I might be the big sister who knows better, but I'm still not allowed to lecture him..." She pleaded. Master Billaba hid a smile.

"Triclops is older than you." She said, calmly. Kendalina pulled a face, but Master Retaw relented.

Kendalina barely had time to grin and latch onto her Master in an overly enthusiastic 'Thank you' before she also passed out and Master Retaw, being the proclaimed 'Mom', felt the need to put her next to Triclops on her mattress and pull the covers over them.

Depa was awaiting as Mehgan left the room. Her arms were folded into the brown robe of the Knights that Mehgan had never been awarded. The two women looked at each other for a long moment, before Depa smiled.

"I told you, didn't I?" She said, quietly, "That everything comes back, two fold." Mehgan smiled, too.

"Lose one, gain another..." She agreed, peacefully, "...I never thought that Kendalina would think of me like that..." The two began to walk down the corridor, talking quietly.

"Who is the blind one, between you two?" Depa asked, softly teasing. Mehgan chuckled, "You practically raised her, and, unless you were exaggerating, her biological mother was horrible. It's only natural she would view you as a motherly figure." Mehgan sighed, holding up her hands in surrender as she relented to the logic of her old friend.

"I guess I am blind... maybe it's best I don't become a Master..." She mused. Depa shook her head.

"Indeed... If you don't even realize the way that you look at her sometimes resembles the way Master Windu looks at me when he thinks nobody is watching." She agreed, almost chidingly. Mehgan laughed, knowing the odd relationship between her friend and their old Master.

"Daddy's little girl." Mehgan noted, with dry amusement, "Come on, let's go out for some drinks." It wasn't always looked upon favorably for a Jedi to drink, but occasions like the completion of an apprentice's first mission were allowed for a drink or two, provided the Code was adhered to.

Depa stopped in her tracks, but Mehgan didn't notice until she turned to her right, expecting to talk, and found herself facing air. Turning around, swiftly, Mehgan noted the odd look on the Council member's face.

"That's not all, is it?" She asked, softly, and Mehgan wanted to play dumb and pretend that she was referring to the idea of drinking, "There's something else to your relationship, isn't there?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Those words betrayed Mehgan completely, but she tried to act innocent. Depa's gaze wasn't accusing, or even disapproving, but her tone took on a reprimanding air, though more for Mehgan's attempt to deny it than for the fact of the matter.

"...Because... sometimes..." Depa said, slowly, "...When you look at Kendalina... it's very similar to how Master Windu looks at YOU when he thinks nobody is watching."

* * *

_When Depa saw the strange, round ball cradled in her friend's hands, she was careful not to surprise Mehgan, partially out of curiosity, wondering what it could be._

"_Maggie, what's that?" She asked, cautiously extending a single finger to lightly touch the ball. Mehgan instinctively pulled it away, holding it close to her chest and glancing about, watching for other people coming._

"_You promise you won't tell anyone?" She asked. Depa couldn't answer that as honestly as she used to when she was young- both she and Mehgan had aged significantly, Depa having been recently appointed to the Council and Mehgan reaching her fiftieth year as an Initiate._

"_If you can tell me why secrecy is so vital, I will answer you more honestly." She replied, softly. Mehgan's eyes shifted, before she started to speak, in a conspiratorial tone._

"_You know that I'm not Human, even though I look Humanoid, right?" Mehgan asked, shyly. Depa blinked, but nodded, solemnly, "And, one of the things about my species is that we're all female, and, as such, reproduce asexually..." Depa nodded again, suddenly understanding._

"_So... what you have there... is..." She didn't say the actual word, but Mehgan's smile was enough._

"_It's my first egg." Mehgan's eyes were glittering, cradling the egg close to her chest, not just in a protective manner, but to keep it warm. Depa smiled, serenely as she understood._

"_And you worry that the other Masters will not understand if they discover you've laid an egg..." Depa said, softly, before reassuring her friend, "I will explain- accommodations need to be made so you can build your nest or what it is that you need..."_

_Mehgan shook her head, with a relieved smile._

"_I don't need a nest- we carry our eggs around in our egg pouches..." Mehgan pulled her shirt open a little and hid the small egg in a fold which would have been her cleavage, had she had any breasts. Depa's eyebrows raised in curiosity._

"_That's an interesting development..." She noted, calmly, before she stood and pulled Mehgan from her hiding spot, "But I doubt your daughter will want to hatch with her mother hiding in this childish spot."_

_Mehgan smiled._

"_Don't worry- I can take care of myself."_

* * *

"And, anyway- Triclops, that's not the coolest part of what happened!" Kendalina was telling her roommate the next day. Triclops was mostly silent, as per usual, but watched her intensely and listened with keen interest.

"While we were goin' from medcenter to medcenter, about yesterday, actually, there was this guy who was visiting, saying he was donating money so the center could have new equipment, but he couldn't go into any of the rooms, because the smell of blood made him sick."

Triclops nodded, eyes very round.

"So, I said 'That sounds like Trike! He can't stand the sight or smell of blood, either.' and this guy asked who Trike was, so I told him about you."

Triclops nodded again, leaning in.

"And..." Kendalina paused for oxygen as much as for dramatic effect, "This old geezer started crying and said 'Could it be you've found my son?'"

Triclops' eyes were very, very round and his mouth hung open, just a little.

"So I told him more and more about you, and he told me all about how, when his kid was little, a bunch of pirates kidnapped him and took him away and he'd never heard or seen him since, and he asked if he could come and see you some time to be sure that you're his kid, so he's going to be coming some time tomorrow!"

Triclops blinked. And then stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Neither of them saw Master Retaw watching from around the corner, a small smile on her face, but determined, all the same.


	14. Part II: Chapter 6

By Sapadu

Chapter 6: Act

act /ækt/ Pronunciation Key - [akt

–noun

1. anything done, being done, or to be done; deed; performance

2. the process of doing

3. a formal decision, law, or the like, by a legislature, ruler, court, or other authority; decree or edict; statute; judgment, resolve, or award

4. an instrument or document stating something done or transacted

5. one of the main divisions of a play or opera

8. false show; pretense; feint

–verb (used without object)

10. to do something; exert energy or force; be employed or operative

11. to reach, make, or issue a decision on some matter

12. to operate or function in a particular way; perform specific duties or functions

14. to behave or conduct oneself in a particular fashion

15. to pretend; feign

18. to serve or substitute (usually fol. by for)

–verb (used with object)

19. to represent (a fictitious or historical character) with one's person

20. to feign; counterfeit

21. to behave as

—Verb phrases

25. act up,

a. to fail to function properly; malfunction

b. to behave willfully

c. to become painful or troublesome, esp. after a period of improvement or remission

26. get or have one's act together, Informal. to organize one's time, job, resources, etc., so as to function efficiently

Kendalina left the next day to find the gentleman she'd met on her mission and bring him to the temple, leaving Triclops alone to trudge down the corridor onto a balcony with baskets of laundry. Kendalina had always complained about how laundry was so annoying and smelly and she seemed to hate the chore with a passion. Triclops supposed he understood why she would find it annoying- the repetitive nature of the process was a little tedious- and he wholeheartedly agreed with the smelly part, but he'd smelt nastier stenches in his lifetime.

For some reason, he didn't mind- these menial tasks which Kendalina so thoroughly despised seemed so easy to do. Essentially, he saw no reason why NOT.

Maybe it was his own stubborn pride and iron determination- Triclops would race to get every piece of laundry done, but have it clean and fresh. His record was a half hour to get one load washed, dried, and, if the clothes needed it, ironed. For the whole Temple's laundry, four and a half hours, and that was with Kendalina helping him, last time.

And, if anything she'd told him this far had been true, he had a debt to be repaid.

"Laundry day, is it, already?" Master Yoda came hobbling around the corner. Triclops turned from where he'd just pulled a tiny tunic from the wash basin.

"Yes, Master Yoda." He finally said, because he didn't know what else to say.

"Padawan Orewahime's turn, is it not?" Master Yoda continued, as Triclops hung up the first load on the line to dry- it had taken him twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds to wash. One load down, about forty more to go.

"Yes, Master Yoda." Triclops agreed, dumping in another basket full of dirty clothes. Why in the world Master Yoda was out here, talking like this, was beyond Triclops.

"And yet, washing the clothes, are you."

Oh. That's why.

"Yes, Master Yoda." Triclops replied, and when Yoda kept giving Triclops his look, Triclops continued, "Kendalina is busy today... she always told me that she hated to do laundry... so... I thought I would do some for her."

"Feelings for Padawan Orewahime, you have." Master Yoda mumbled, in a very smug way. Triclops REALLY wished Master Yoda would go away and leave him alone.

"Yes, Master Yoda." Triclops also wished that Master Yoda would stop talking in such simple sentences that all Triclops could reply was 'Yes, Master Yoda'. It was beginning to make Trike feel incredibly stupid.

Thankfully, Master Yoda left after that. Triclops had no idea why- he was pretty certain that Master Yoda knew about everything that went on in the Temple, so there was no reason for him to ASK... Maybe he'd just stopped by so that Triclops would know that Master Yoda knew that... no... that was a pretty ridiculous reason.

Triclops kept washing. Then, he paused.

He'd just pulled out a very small robe- not one for one of the younglings, but as though it was for a child so much smaller. Perhaps... an infant who would become a youngling when they were older...

Triclops' face went very, very red, just imagining how adorable that child must be.

* * *

Kendalina was back sooner than anyone had expected. Mehgan was waiting for her on the steps, as she escorted a very elderly gentleman up them, towards the tall statues of the Four Masters, telling him all about how she was someday going to have her statue erected among them and be the Greatest Jedi who ever lived, so on and so forth. Mehgan had to sigh, before Kendalina reached the top step. 

The man who had been following her was old enough to be Kendalina's grandfather, but Mehgan supposed he'd just been late in having children. His hair was almost completely gone and he had spots all over his head. His eyes were small and watery, almost hidden by the sagging skin of his brow, but he was not a fat man- he merely seemed very solid, short and stocky, and somewhat shapeless, but not fat. From how his clothes were neat, crisp, and lavishly decorated and made, and the fact they'd seen him donating charity money to a medcenter, he was also very well off.

"It's very good to see you again, Jedi Retaw." He said, congenially.

"And I'm glad to see you are still well, Baron Anglar." Mehgan replied, bowing her head a little. Kendalina was beaming, bouncing on her heels with the sheer joy that Triclops might have his father back. The Baron clutched something in his hand- it was a holodisc, which Mehgan took and activated, scrutinizing the words and print. It was a birth certificate, and a very valid one, for a boy born during the Great ReSynchronization, with white hair and green eyes. The name entry, however, made Mehgan raise an eyebrow, as it was blank.

"Before we bring your son to you, however, there is something I should ask- What is his name?" Mehgan said, still staying firmly, but subtly between the Baron and the door. A look entered Anglar's eyes, before he bowed his head.

"...I understand... I know this might sound foolish to you... but it's been so long... and my wife and I had been so indecisive about a name in the first place... and when he was kidnapped, we searched so long and so hard, but after a few years, I came to the conclusion that I would never see him again..." Anglar stopped to swallow, hard, and Mehgan felt a stir of pity, both for the failure of his memory as well as his tale.

"You mean to say you've forgotten what you intended to name your son?" She asked, quietly. Kendalina made no noise, but politely excused herself to find Triclops.

Baron Anglar pulled a cloth from his pocket and started to mop his face with it. Mehgan saw a ring glint on his finger, but no stones were set in it.

"You wear only one ring, Baron- may I politely assume that your wife has..." She didn't finish, but the Baron nodded, the face hidden behind his cloth making a brief, but audible noise of grief.

"It's been so long... I realize how disgraceful it must seem for me to be discomposed like this before the Jedi Temple..." He said, trying to offer a more stoic expression.

Mehgan tilted her head to the side for a moment, face blank.

"No. It's not disgraceful at all." She replied, softly.

* * *

"Kendalina... that hurts..." Triclops noted, calmly, as Kendalina tried to pull a comb through his hair. Kendalina put a foot on Triclops' shoulder and yanked, taking out the comb, but leaving broken bits of teeth stuck in Triclops' hair. Triclops didn't make any complaint, but remained on his knees, patiently allowing Kendalina her attempts to 'Make him presentable.'

Kendalina growled in frustration and tossed the comb aside, stepping back to survey her poorly-done work, before she shrugged.

"That'll have to do." She conceded, more to herself than anyone who she might have thought was listening. Triclops didn't comment, not wanting to say anything, "Triclops, be more excited!" Kendalina scolded, pulling out one of her nicer tunics- there was only so far one could make himself look presentable on a diet of Jedi Padawan robes, but Triclops always managed it. Kendalina, for her part, always looked like a little boy who'd grown his hair out and stuffed something semi-round into his shirt, and the fact that she wore boy's clothes only added to the illusion.

"Why?" Triclops asked. He didn't say it in a bratty manner, nor as a demand- his tone was rather blank, as though he hadn't realized that he COULD be excited. Kendalina shot him a dirty look, pulling him to his feet and holding up a shirt, as though to see if it would look good on him- Triclops wondered why, when it looked exactly like the one he was wearing at the present moment.

"Because! You're gonna meet your DAD! You should be happy!" Kendalina said, indignantly. She then proceeded to snap around and rummage through her closet again, coming out with the exact same shirt again and hold it up a second time.

Triclops stared at her for a long moment, before he said something to her turned back.

"Why are YOU not happy, Kendalina?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina dropped something on her foot, swore, then turned around and glared.

"Who says I'm not happy?" She demanded, but Triclops didn't rise to the tone of her voice.

"You only deny these things so vehemently when you are upset." Triclops replied, calmly, "When you were upset about Master Yaddle not taking you with her on her mission, three years ago, and Master Yoda asked you about it, you said that you were not upset." Kendalina's head snapped around and Triclops closed his eyes, expecting Kendalina to shout something impolite or deny it loudly.

It never came. Triclops opened his eyes again when he heard a loud sniffle.

Kendalina was staring at him with a strange expression that was a cross between anger and heartbreak, tears streaming down her cheeks and her eyes crinkled into a half-frown, half-mourn, and lower lip caught in her teeth as her nose ran. It was as though she was trying to say 'It's your fault that I'm crying, now.'

"I don't want you to go." Kendalina's voice was no more than a whisper, but Triclops heard it. He tipped his head and stared at her reaction, before hanging his head.

"...I do not want to leave, either..." Triclops' confession came just as quietly, but it seemed to echo in the room. Kendalina's fist clenched tightly around the tunic she'd pulled out and her arms shook.

"...Why...?" She whispered, head hanging, "Why didn't you SAY anything...?" Triclops didn't look up.

"...I do not know..." He replied, softly, expression somehow glazed, as though he wasn't really thinking about the subject, "...It never occurred to me that I might have parents..." Triclops suddenly blurted out, to his horror and Kendalina's confusion, "...I never thought about it... and it never bothered me, nor did I even really want to have parents..." Triclops was proud of himself for keeping his voice steady, "...Because... I was happy here... I had you and Master Retaw and Master Yoda... that was enough of a family for me..."

Kendalina's lips were shivering again, like she was trying to look tough and keep herself from crying again.

Triclops didn't even realize it until he heard a small plop on the floor and looked down to see a single drop shining on the floor between his feet, before he reached up and wiped his face dry.

"...I do not want to leave..." He whispered again. Kendalina was staring at him with a pained expression, as though someone had stuck a sharp knife into her stomach and twisted it. Triclops walked over and put his arms around her shoulders, "I am going to miss you..." His voice was choked, but Kendalina swallowed, hard, and hugged back.

"...I'll come and visit... if you tell me where you're goin' and whenever I can fool the Masters enough to sneak out..." She mumbled, giving her friend a squeeze. Triclops didn't seem to hear her, as his face was buried against her shoulder.

"...I do not know... how I will make it... not seeing you every day..." His voice was muffled, but Kendalina heard it, and it was all she could do to keep from crying again.

"Maybe your dad won't be so bad... He IS a Baron... maybe he'll have to come by the Temple to donate or somethin'... maybe he'll let you come with..." She offered, but not really meaning the hopefulness. Triclops sniffled.

"...Maybe..." His voice cracked.

They stayed like that for a moment, before Kendalina felt a tug in the back of her mind that said the long goodbye had to end.

"C'mon... You get changed..." Kendalina wiped her eyes and threw Triclops a new tunic.

* * *

Triclops had been as ready as he was going to get when the door opened, again. Master Retaw was speaking with someone out in the corridor, who sounded very old, but Triclops didn't see his face. Something about the voice seemed familiar.

Kendalina wasn't looking in his direction, but pulled him forward into the center of the room, to greet the man who was his father.

Triclops said nothing, casting his life-long friend and mentor a longing glance before straightening up.

The door opened all the way and Master Retaw entered with a compact, old man who was dressed in a manner Triclops hadn't ever thought was possible. Again, there was a flash of something coming back to him from long, long ago.

"Triclops, meet your father- the Baron Anglar." Master Retaw said, in a very similar cheerful tone that Kendalina had used before he'd called her on her bluff. The man looked from Master Retaw to him, eyes glittering, before a smile spread across his face.

Something... something about that smile made Triclops shudder, but he didn't know why...

"Triclops... Triclops, is what they call you...? That's... that's a good name... come here... my boy..." The man's hands extended, and suddenly, Triclops recognized the face before him. The gesture, the voice, the words he used...

He remembered.

He remembered something he had wanted to forget so badly.

* * *

Kendalina didn't want to look at Triclops again- she didn't trust herself to not cry again. It wasn't fair- It just wasn't fair! She'd come this far with him, from the moment she'd found him in the back of the cargo transport to the year she spent carefully teaching him how to speak, spell, and figure to the years they'd been sleeping in the same bed, sharing the same clothes, and eating the same food.

Who the hell did THIS old jerk think he was? Even if he WAS Trike's dad, did he know what Trike's favorite food was? Favorite color? Did he know what position Trike slept in, curled up around a pillow or something of the like? Did he know how Trike always fastened his shoes, left foot first instead of right? Had he been there when Trike first learned her name, or when he'd first learned how to hold a stylus, or when he'd...

Kendalina gulped and tried not to listen to Master Retaw introducing the Baron. He was just a stupid old jerk as far as she was concerned, especially as he leaned over, as though expecting a hug.

Kendalina was meanly pleased when Triclops didn't run to him right away, but didn't realize why before she glanced over, then turned and outright stared.

Triclops' face had gone completely white and his green eyes were wide and pupils dilated. His jaw hung open, loosely, and he was shaking from head to toe.

"Trike?" Kendalina asked, cautiously, as Triclops took a shaking step backwards. Kendalina heard the tap of shoes on the floor, telling her the Baron was trying to inch closer, as Triclops wasn't walking towards him.

"Come here, my boy- come to Pappa." The Baron said, again, in a lighter tone than before. Kendalina reached back to touch Triclops, but he moved away even quicker, eyes fixed, unblinking, on the man who claimed to be his father.

"...You..." Triclops' voice came out hoarse and soft, shaking like a leaf on a dead tree. Kendalina frowned, and continued to pursue Triclops until he hit the wall, but his gaze was so intent on the Baron that Kendalina and Master Retaw might have not even existed.

"What's wrong? Are you scared, son?" The Baron offered, kindly, but Kendalina was suddenly getting a sense of something much more sinister beneath the surface.

Triclops' jaw worked for a moment, squeaky, unintelligible noises coming from his throat before, hoarsely, quietly, a word made it's way past Triclops' lips.

"...him..." Triclops' eyes had glazed over, as though someone had replaced them with glass balls instead of real eyes.

"Trike?" Kendalina asked, approaching cautiously, but not touching him.

"Triclops?" Master Retaw's voice came from behind, concerned and suspicious, but not of Triclops, Kendalina could tell.

"... i want that boy..." His voice was different, not high and oddly accented like normal, but as though he was imitating another person's voice, "...i'll pay any price you name... but i want that one..."

"Triclops, what are you saying?" Master Retaw was speaking slowly and Kendalina heard a nervous noise from the Baron.

"Oh... maybe I remind him of somebody... one of the pirates, or..." But he fell silent as Kendalina heard a snap-hiss and a slight gag. She didn't look back, but she knew that Master Retaw had just put her lightsaber to his throat to silence him so they could hear Triclops' rambling off of dialogue that he was apparently remembering.

"...what'd you want him for... he's not even fresh goods... five customers today, already..." Triclops' voice changed again, and Kendalina suddenly realized the first voice he'd been imitating sounded distinctly like the Baron's.

"'Goods?' 'Customers?'" Kendalina heard Master Retaw mutter, suspiciously, and then a further gagging noise, as though she was pressing a little too hard. She didn't understand what it had to do with the situation, but she didn't care- Triclops was shaking and mumbling and clearly not in his right mind and she was NOT going to let anything happen to him.

"...he's ugly, maybe... but these eyes of his are brilliant... i've never seen eyes like this before..." Triclops kept mumbling, face whiter than his hair at this point, "...then you're in luck... he's got an extra here in back... you can see it even if he's on his knees..."

Kendalina felt, suddenly, incredibly sick, and the urge to reach out and touch Triclops and comfort him was met in equal and opposite fervor with the desire to turn around and beat the Baron into a bloody pulp, as it was now becoming evident he was NOT Triclops' father by any means.

Kendalina's head swiveled enough that she could glare in deathly murder at the Baron, who had gone very pale.

"...Th-This must be... something that the pirates did... it must be..." He was stammering, but there was a tick in his eye, a desperate tone in his words that made Kendalina realize he was just trying to cover his own ass and failing at it, miserably.

"...i'll give you sixty-million... all in coins, if you want them..." Triclops kept mumbling, completely oblivious to what was happening around him. It was as though something in his mind had just snapped, as though from being unused for too long or from rust and decay in the lock that had kept it shut away.

"BOY, STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!" The Baron's control had seemed to snap, but he didn't make any noise past that, as Master Retaw held the blade of her lightsaber closer to his neck.

"...sold..." Triclops said, finally, then sunk to the floor, eyes still wide open, and Kendalina understood.

There was a long, long silence, before she turned to the Baron, eyes burning.

"You aren't his father..." She hissed, reaching behind her for any available weapon she could reach. So help her, she was going to beat this man until his brains ran out of his skull.

"Kendalina, this isn't our place- we'll turn him over to the proper authorities, or the Council. They'll know what to do with him." Master Retaw's voice was cold, something that Kendalina had never heard before, but it matched her sentiment perfectly.

Kendalina saw the Baron's eye twitch but didn't have time to react when he spun and almost hit Master Retaw with his fist.

"THIS BOY IS MINE! I BOUGHT HIM- HE'S MY PROPERTY!" Kendalina heard him shout, but before she could hear his next outburst, there was a slash, and then a scream as an arm hit the floor, completely detached from his body. Kendalina froze, taken aback by this new side of her Master that she'd never seen before.

"I don't care if you even went so far as to adopt him- these two are under my protection and I will not let you so much as touch them." Master Retaw's voice was soft, but deadly, like a razor blade whose metal had tarnished and no longer shone, but was still sharp enough to cut.

There was barely a pause, but Kendalina flung herself sideways, taking Triclops with her, shielding him as there was a small explosion and she couldn't look up to see Master Retaw gracefully flip out of the way and very near attack the Baron, but she did hear a thud and crack, and looked up to see Master Retaw on the other side of the room, leg twisted in a way that could not have possibly been natural, and the Baron storming towards her.

"I'm not going to let two uppity bitches like you keep me from my property!" Kendalina would have fought back, but she was so utterly frozen in complete terror that she couldn't even think. One hand grabbed her hair by it's long braid, hauled her against the wall, and before she could raise her hands to defend herself, the same fist connected with her face. Searing pain split through her head and her ears began to ring. Vision disappeared as the Force seemed to sap out of her like water- maybe she wasn't concentrating enough, or maybe it was because she was too afraid, it had decided to leave and keep her from accidentally slipping to the Dark Side, but Kendalina started to panic, waving her hands around as best she could before something pulled the weight off of her.

'Oh, good- Master Retaw's okay.' Was Kendalina's first thought, before she heard a very different voice speak.

"Who you are and who you THINK you are doesn't matter to me, really. But, frankly, given that I have to live in this body, I'm not going to be very kind to you for trying to intrude on my home." Kendalina's head was still spinning, but she took a deep breath and regained her concentration and calm, enough to bring vision back, but what she saw terrified her even more.

Triclops was standing again, both of his hands around the Baron's fat neck, squeezing, with an expression that seemed only borderline psychotic.

"...Y-you..." Choked the Baron, but Triclops' hands gripped tighter.

"This brings back memories, doesn't it, Bidder 183?" He asked, that smile spreading, dangerously, "The first time any of them saw Number 63696 fight back, speaking, not only intelligently, but eloquently, and somehow possessing some supernatural strength that nobody had ever seen before. And then, when it was over and they'd beaten him to unconsciousness, he didn't remember a thing- not even that he had such vocabulary at his age." Triclops- or whoever it was in Triclops' body right now- was obviously taking delight in this, especially as the Baron went rather blue in the face.

"...St-sto-m... -ercy..." He croaked, but the insane grin on Triclops' face spread as his eyes gleamed with a sinister glint.

"Stop? Mercy? How many little boys have begged that from YOU? How many children have you tortured in ways unknown to the inner most depths of Hell, and when they pleaded for you to stop, that they were in pain, or cried for their mothers and sisters and brothers, what did you say to them?" And when he didn't receive an answer, his grip tightened, just a little bit more, "Tell me what you said to the other boys who were your own, private, fuck-toys before this one."

Kendalina heard herself crying- terror fed tears were streaming down her face and her jaw was shaking as she heard this other Triclops describe the things that not even Triclops had remembered. When she'd been young, she'd learned a great deal about topics that would be considered inappropriate for children, such as reproduction and the various foul swears that could be used for them, as well as some less than reproductive behaviors that took place during mating.

She didn't need to be told, once the terms were put out before her, exactly WHAT kind of slave-trade Triclops had been passed around in, during that gap in his past that he couldn't remember.

"...Trike..." Her own voice sounded hollow, almost broken away from her body, before she heard a third voice- Master Retaw- more firm and self-assured, but still every bit as terrified.

"This is not Triclops..."

There was noise outside the door and it slid open, but instead of any Jedi, men in armor who were apparently bodyguards awaited outside. Kendalina froze, staring and wondering what would happen, but the Baron wheezed something out, that sounded auspiciously like,

"Get them." Before Triclops scowled.

"I think you need to be quiet now." And, calmly and efficiently, snapped the man's neck.

Kendalina almost screamed as the man's head fell back, eyes rolling in his head, but Triclops- the real one who couldn't even hurt a fly- did that very thing before her, hands releasing the neck they'd just broken, and going up to cover his mouth as he backed away, absolutely horror-struck by the terrible thing he'd just done.

The men opened fire into the room.

Kendalina heard a loud shriek- it might have been her or it might have been Triclops, she wasn't sure- but none of the shots hit her or her friend. When she looked up, Master Retaw was balancing, precariously, on one foot and holding her lightsaber in defense position.

Another shot was aimed, but this one was light stun, and couldn't be deflected. Master Retaw fell over, dazed, for a second, before more shots went out, hitting her arms and legs this time. It was only good fortune that they were such poorly aimed shots that nothing vital, or even that serious, was hit.

There was another click, and the bodyguards raised their blasters again, aiming to kill at this point.

Kendalina hadn't realized she'd moved until she found herself on her feet before the crowd of guards who were hellbent on killing the three of them, her Master's lightsaber in hand.

"Any of you bastards try to hurt Master Retaw or Triclops... and I'll kill you." The words came out as a snarl, and Kendalina wasn't entirely sure that she'd meant to say them, but it had been said, none-the-less, and she meant to follow through with it.

The next volley of shots was deflected back, hitting one man clear in the head and sending him to the floor. The guns were kept level, but Kendalina jumped, making a swipe in the air and shattering the barrels of the blasters. The pieces fell, useless to the floor and Kendalina charged, but was stopped as she felt something grab her arm from behind.

There were footsteps coming up the hall and the guards disappeared, but the hand on her arm didn't lift.

Kendalina turned to see Triclops clinging to her arm, head hung as low as he could hold it, shaking from head to toe.

"...Do... not..." He whispered. Kendalina stared at him for a moment, not noticing as Master Retaw pulled herself up enough that she would be able to reach the medkit and treat her less serious injuries.

Triclops' hold on her arm didn't release.

"...Do not... kill anyone else... please..." Kendalina's thumb hit the power button and the blade retracted, but she couldn't stop staring at Triclops, who wouldn't even look up at her, his face being pressed into her sleeve.

"...Trike?" She asked, quietly, as Master Billaba opened the door and stared at the horrifying sight.

Triclops started to silently cry.

"...Please... I do not... want anymore people to die..." His voice came out small and barely audible, as though a private confession for Kendalina's ears, only.

* * *

Kendalina awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of someone crying, and she figured out who it was on the first guess. Triclops wasn't asleep at all, but curled up into a ball in the farthest corner of the room, wanting to stay as far away from her as possible, as though afraid of what she would do to him.

Kendalina slid silently off her mattress and crawled her way over to Triclops to keep from startling him. It was freezing to the touch to crawl on and Kendalina suddenly wanted to be back in bed, under the covers, and preferably with Triclops next to her, keeping body heat between them, and she wanted him to be back in bed, too, instead of freezing here on the floor.

The floor seemed enormous to cross- it seemed more like she was trying to swim across an ocean, fighting against a horrible current the whole way as every inch she took towards Triclops made her feel more and more stranded out in the middle of that great, empty floor.

As soon as she reached him, Kendalina carefully extended a hand and touched his elbow, but Triclops pulled away, curling himself up even tighter and trying to press even further into the corner.

"I can not..." Triclops whispered, quietly. Kendalina tried to reach out again, but he somehow pulled out of her reach again, "...I..."

"Triclops..." Kendalina whispered, "It's okay."

"I KILLED someone, again..." Triclops' whisper was anguished and overflowing with grief, "...And I did it on purpose, this time..." Kendalina scooted in closer, and Triclops pulled away, but she didn't care.

"He was going to HURT YOU. And you only started choking him because he was beating ME up... that's not the same thing..."

"I meant to kill him..."

"He was going to kill us..."

"It is my fault..."

"It was self-defense..." Kendalina insisted, but Triclops didn't seem to hear her, his face buried against his knees as he repeated his mantra of 'I meant to kill him, it is my fault...' and nothing would pry him out of it.

Kendalina shivered and wished that she could be back in bed, but stubbornness kept her at Triclops' side, determined not to leave him alone in the corner.

"Kenda..." Triclops finally whispered, "...I am... afraid to be free... now..."

Kendalina almost fell over, startled, exasperated, and worried all at once.

"...I do not want to be free, now..." He whispered, again. Kendalina stared at him, stammering for words, but Triclops kept talking, "...What if... what if I kill someone again?"

Kendalina's mouth snapped shut and she stared at him, speechless.

"...I do not know... if I can control myself any more... I do not know... what will happen... if I can not..."

Kendalina managed to catch Triclops this time, before he could scoot away. She pulled him against her shoulder, holding him tightly as she could. She felt something press against her side, but held tightly and Triclops' effort to push away failed.

"Trike, you aren't a murderer. He was going to die anyway- you just made it quick, which is more mercy than he deserved. If you hadn't snapped his neck, believe me, I would have killed him in the slowest, most painful way I could've thought of, and even then, only if Master Retaw didn't do it before me." Triclops sniffled, loudly, and made a pained noise, as though Kendalina's words were hurting him, "And he would have deserved it, too. He HURT you- he really, seriously, actually destroyed you, in ways that absolutely nobody deserves, not even the people who DO those things..." Kendalina paused, gulping down the lump in her throat before she continued, "...And he did it to OTHER kids, too... younger than us, and was going to take you away, pretending that you were his son..."

Triclops was silent, as Kendalina's words were all very true, but he made a small whimpering noise that conveyed a kind of helplessness which made Kendalina sick.

"And, you know what? I'm GLAD you killed him- Yes, I'm GLAD- because, even if he hadn't died, just been turned over to the authorities, they wouldn't have done anything, because he's rich and the system is corrupt and he would have bought his way out and covered it up, saying it was a misunderstanding, that you were insane and deranged from your years being 'Held by pirates' and he would have taken you away, anyway. Or, if people did find actual, conclusive evidence that nobody can buy themselves out of, they still would have taken you away and put you in protective custody."

Triclops' arms lessened in their attempt to push away, then went around Kendalina's waist as he clung to her again.

"We're still together- you still have me and Master Retaw and Master Yoda... nobody can take you away, now."

Triclops whimpered, shaking, and pressed closer to Kendalina, who just held him tighter.

"...I can not..." Triclops whispered, "...I do not want... to be free like this..."

Kendalina sighed, but Triclops kept talking.

"...I should be locked up... or kept in binders... or killed... but I can not... I do not know... if I will hurt someone again... if... I might hurt you, someday..."

Kendalina clung tighter as Triclops tried to push away, again.

"You won't. I won't let you hurt me." She whispered, and when Triclops stared at her in shock, she smiled, "It would hurt you and Master Retaw if anything happened to me... so I'm not going to let anything happen."

Triclops blinked for a moment, before he leaned against his friend and reluctantly allowed her to drag him back to the mattress.


	15. Part II: Chapter 7

By Sapadu

Chapter 7: Rejection

re·jec·tion /rɪˈdʒɛkʃən/ Pronunciation Key - [ri-**jek**-sh_uh_n

–noun

1. the act of refusing to have, grant, or accept; the act of discarding as useless or unsatisfactory; the state of being cast off or out

2. something refused; something discarded as useless or unsatisfactory; something cast off or out

3. Medicine The failure of the recipient's body to accept a transplanted tissue or organ as the result of immunological incompatibility; immunological resistance to foreign tissue

After Triclops had fallen asleep, Kendalina had not let her head hit the pillow. While she stayed firmly under the warm covers, her eyes remained open and alert, and she had a heavy book under her chest. Once or twice, she thought she heard the door creak open, and even though it wasn't, it still made her heart jump and her hand sneak out and reach for a pole of metal she'd stolen from one of the junkyards on her mission that was hidden under her bed.

Nobody entered, but Kendalina remained on guard, ready to beat the ever-loving shit out of the first person who she thought was a threat. Even Master Retaw, when she entered to check that the two of them were still alright nearly met the wrath of Kendalina's pole, except the little one realized who it was in time.

She never knew that the one threat she should have worried about most was sleeping not-so-peacefully behind her.

* * *

_"You can't shut me out forever, you know." _

Triclops turned around, trying to see who was speaking, but nothing presented itself.

"Who...?"

A large hand covered his face. Triclops' arms went up and his hands grabbed at the arm that was around his shoulders. A second hand grabbed the back of his head, before a deep voice spoke.

"_I'm not going to DO anything- I only have two hands."_

Triclops felt a shiver go up his back, but he said nothing.

"_You have to deal with this sometime. Running away isn't going to help anything."_

Triclops heard the words, but, somehow, didn't care. He didn't care how much it was wrong, how it wouldn't help anything, how he was a coward... he just wanted to forget.

He wished it could all have been some horrible nightmare.

"_I will only hold it for so much. But you WILL have to remember, one day."_

"Go away..."

_"So, you want to remember, now?"_ Triclops stopped struggling against the grip, confused, _"I'm here because you don't want to remember all those things in the past. If you want me to leave, you'll remember."_

"No... I..." Just the briefest of flashes of his memory came back- a small room, coins being passed from hand to hand, body being bent and contorted in ways unimaginable, and hands, hands, hands everywhere... "...Stop..."

"_It's one or the other."_ The voice said, again, _"If you don't want to remember, I stay. If I leave, you have to deal with the past."_

"...Stop it..."

Triclops wept, covering his face with his hands, dropping to his knees.

The voice was silent.

"...I cannot... be free, now..."

He didn't look behind him as the voice came close to his ear, again, as though the owner was crouching next to him.

"_If that's what you think, then it's already decided."_

* * *

"BUT THE COUNCIL CAN'T DO THAT!" Kendalina protested, when Master Retaw gave her the news.

"It's been defined as an issue of security. Even if it's a case of split-personality disorder and not really Triclops, they don't know when this other personality will come out and cause damage. And, partially, this is also for Triclops' safety, to keep outside authorities from taking him." Master Retaw explained, but her voice was shaking through it's calm.

Kendalina stared at her, completely aghast.

"We can't prove that Triclops killed that man in self-defense, we can't prove that he had purchased Triclops from a sex slave trade, and we can't prove that he was intending to take Triclops back as his property. And because the Baron was so important, the Courts will judge that Triclops committed a crime, at least manslaughter, for killing him. However, the High Council has the right to keep him incarcerated, since the crime was committed inside the Temple, in which case the Courts will leave the judgment to the Jedi."

Kendalina opened her mouth to argue, again, but Master Retaw shushed her.

"They won't put him to death or anything- just keep him contained." Kendalina's teeth gritted, but she didn't say anything.

"...So... we'll still be able to see him?" She finally asked, hopefully. Master Retaw's expression remained grim.

"No."

Kendalina opened her mouth to shout, but the door opened. She didn't have time to raise her weapon- Master Retaw held her back, quite firmly. Master Billaba had entered, looking sincerely apologetic, before she turned to Triclops, who was still curled up, asleep.

"Triclops, wake up." The air sounded strained as Master Billaba's words went through it, but Triclops sat up, as though he'd been awake the whole time. His eyes opened, and Kendalina immediately knew that it wasn't Triclops.

"Yo." He said. It was Triclops' voice... but it was so different, speaking so casually. Master Billaba stared for a moment, subtly moving into a position better equipped to defend if he turned violent.

It wasn't necessary.

"You're here to take me into custody, I presume?" Asked the other Triclops, almost nonchalant. Master Billaba nodded, and Triclops raised his wrists, for her to put binders on. After a moment's pause, as though to judge if he was trying to be deceptive, Master Billaba raised a set of cuffs, but Triclops pulled his wrists away, almost at the last minute.

"But..." His tone was stern, as though speaking to a child, and somehow or another managing to pull it off incredibly well, "...My only condition is that he be treated civilly." Master Billaba's brow raised, before he explained, "The guards can't try to beat him, he has to be fed and given clean water, and the room has to be safe. If anything puts him in danger, you'll have nobody to blame but yourselves if I get blood on your walls, again."

Master Billaba, Retaw, and Kendalina all stared at him, amazed that he was actually trying to set conditions when he was about to be taken into custody. Master Billaba, however, recovered quickly, and nodded, serenely.

"Agreed." She replied, and Trike held his hands out again to be cuffed. Kendalina almost noted how Master Billaba seemed to be gently trying to bind his wrists, though if it was out of respect or caution, she couldn't tell.

Master Retaw's grip tightened as Master Billaba began to lead Triclops from the room, not a second too soon, as Kendalina immediately tried to jump up and stop the two from leaving.

"LEMME GO, MASTER RETAW!" She shouted, struggling against her teacher's firm hands and arms, screaming after Triclops, who was walking out the door, "FIGHT BACK! THEY CAN'T DO THIS!"

Triclops paused, back still to her, before something in the back of his head, nestled in his mop of disorderly, white hair moved. A third eye, the one Kendalina had named him for, opened and stared straight at her.

"See ya, girl."

Kendalina froze, Triclops left, and Master Retaw spent the remainder of her day cradling her apprentice, trying to coax her out of the shock that the mere word 'Girl' had caused.

* * *

"He's too scared to be free, now." Depa Billaba paused as she heard Triclops speak. She'd passed off this unusual behavior and suddenly referring to himself in third-person as an unusual personality quirk, but it suddenly occurred to her how, if he was scared, how he couldn't be keeping his composure.

She turned, slowly, but Triclops was remaining perfectly passive.

"You don't wish to be incarcerated, do you?" She asked, quietly. Triclops shrugged, casually.

"Not really. But, since he's the one who owns this body, I've got no real choice." He replied. Depa frowned, kneeling a little to look the boy in the eye.

"Considering you killed a man who claimed to own you, how can you say that 'He' owns this body." She asked, severely. It was rare that she was harsh, but in a situation such as this, it was justified, she felt. Triclops raised an eyebrow at her.

"That's different- kinda like how the guy who pays rent on an apartment makes the rules, instead of his roommate. And don't look at me like that, Big-Brow-Billaba."

Depa was taken aback, and for the briefest of seconds, she was tempted to hit the impudent boy across the face, except she could read that the look in his eyes was one that said he would have no qualms snapping her neck if she so much raised a finger against him.

"That's a name only Master Retaw is privileged to call me, if you please." She said, sternly. Triclops shrugged.

"I was under the impression it was a term of endearment for you." He said, smirking an infuriatingly superior smile, again in that tone as though he were speaking with a child. Depa's upper lip twitched, but she controlled her temper, and this time, it didn't rise.

"Only from her." She confirmed.

Triclops accepted this, before he continued walking, to the point that he was leading her towards his confinement, with an air of superiority and control.

* * *

Mehgan Retaw, in all her years at the Temple, had never been summoned for a Council session, alone. It was always something along the lines of how she was progressing as a student, in which case her Master would be with her, or it would be about Kendalina, where Kendalina was brought along. What could the Council want with her, alone?

Mehgan entered the Council chamber as Depa Billaba took her seat. Mehgan had never before seen such a bunch of straight faces in the Council room. The small part of her that had retained her sense of humor- and a small part it was- was waiting for someone to either emit a humorous bodily function or yell 'Surprise'.

"I was told the Council wished to see me." Mehgan began, standing with her hands clasped before her. It was the most neutral course she could think of.

"Yes, Master Retaw. We have called you on matters of your conduct at the Temple." Master Windu explained, crossing his legs. Mehgan fought to keep her eyebrows level. Conduct?

"It has come to the attention of the Council's attention that you have violated the Jedi code. Quite recently, with the incident yesterday, you drew your lightsaber and attacked a visitor, severing his arm." He continued, in a very stern voice and it took every ounce of control Megan had to keep her legs firmly planted, "Is this true?"

"It was in defense of self and of Kendalina and Triclops. They are under my protection and it was my responsibility to keep them safe." She said, calmly. She thought she saw Master Windu's brow twitch, before another member of the Council asked,

"Do you have evidence to prove that?"

Mehgan kept her face as blank as possible.

"I have a witness- Kendalina..."

"Your apprentice has been judged to be too biased to be a valid witness. Furthermore, she is still ten years old- it is too possible that her logic might be flawed or she could have been swayed by your influence, and give us an inaccurate account." Interrupted another member of the Council.

Mehgan swallowed, hard, but didn't say anything after that.

"I'll repeat the question- Do you have any evidence to prove that your actions were in defense of self and your charges?" Master Windu said, again.

Mehgan felt her arms shaking.

"...Not anymore..." She finally answered.

There was a disapproving grumble around her. Master Windu's eyes were focused on her, disappointed, and somehow, resolved, as though telling himself that this was the only option, that there was no other way, and resigning himself to this harsh fact.

Mehgan suppressed a shudder. For some reason, she felt very naked under her robes.

"An objection, I have." Master Yoda put in. Mehgan felt other members of the Council start, and she didn't blame them- she, herself, was incredibly surprised.

"An excellent teacher, she is. Needed during this war, she will be." Master Yoda's tone was very firm, leaving no room for argument with his statements. Even Master Windu's expression seemed to relent to this logical point, before Master Yoda continued, "And a talented student, she has."

The Council stiffened, Mehgan lowered her head, but just enough it could be seen as acknowledgment of this compliment, or contemplation, rather than the embarrassment she felt.

"Be that as it may, we cannot afford to have her on the front lines- such aggression could prove to be too great of temptation." Said the Master sitting next to Depa, who was looking calm, but Mehgan could tell she was silently willing for the Council to NOT come to it's horrid conclusion, whatever it might be.

"And with such a dangerous temper, if she continues to teach, that talented student of hers might become vulnerable to the Dark Side." Another one noted, "At this point, Padawan Orewahime already has a very poor temper, but there is still time to coax it out of her if her Master is of a better temper."

And that was the very thing Mehgan was not.

"Master Retaw, do you have anything to say in your defense?" Mehgan heard Depa... no, Master Billaba... say, gently. There was even a tone of encouragement, as though pressing her to argue.

Mehgan wanted to fight back. She knew what was coming for her if she didn't, and she wanted to stop the Council from this injustice, both for herself, and for Triclops, and she knew that if she didn't, how devastating it would be for Kendalina, and she knew that the argument that she attacked, unprovoked was just an excuse for her to be brought in. It wasn't really why she was going to be kicked out- it was just the fake reason that someone was taking advantage of.

But... if she called the bluff... she'd have to admit...

That was even more disgraceful.

"Master Yoda, in light of the fact that I have such a talented student, I would humbly ask you to take over her training." Mehgan bowed as low as she could.

She felt the shock from all the other Masters, but she didn't care.

"_FIGHT BACK! THEY CAN'T DO THIS!"_

'Yes, they can, Kendalina...' She thought. Even after all those years, all this time maintaining she could do anything for her padawan, it seemed there was one thing she COULDN'T do.

...But... if she couldn't fight... she would at least protect her with all she had left.

Master Yoda's face was grim, before he agreed, glumly, and made the decree.

"Mehgan Retaw, with great regret, expel you from the Jedi Order, this Council does." Master Yoda said.

* * *

"_Kendalina, I understand you have a goal, but when you say that you'll be 'The Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived' in front of people like it's a matter of fact, they take it for bragging." Mehgan scolded her padawan as they walked back to the transport with their sacks of medical waste. The encounter with the Baron Anglar had been... humiliating, to be mild, for her, considering that when Kendalina had loudly explained how she was going to be better than Master Yoda, someday, a number of the med center staff had turned a scornful eye on her and her teacher._

_Kendalina huffed._

"_So, suddenly, freedom of speech is banned?" She grouched. Mehgan rolled her eyes._

"_It's something you need to learn to use with DIGRESSION. If you shoot off your mouth all the time, how can you be expected to keep quiet during a formal meeting, or at a situation like a funeral or when undercover?"_

_Kendalina just snorted, lifting her sack of wastes and actually supporting the weight for a period of time._

"_When you behave like that, it reflects badly on..."_

"_I KNOW THAT ALREADY!" Kendalina shouted, indignantly, dropping her bag._

"_Kendalina..." Mehgan said, calmly, "I'm telling you these things over and over because you DON'T know." As far as Mehgan could see, she was being incredibly patient. Kendalina snorted through her nose._

"_Yeah, well, just wait- one day, I'll be the-"_

"_The Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived, and all of the Masters will tell your story and the younglings and padawans will say 'I want to be just like that' and you'll be the greatest role model, teacher, and anything there is to be." Mehgan said, exasperated, "Keep talking like that and people will grow tired of it." Kendalina made a face before she shouted,_

"_And then! And then, and then, and then... AND THEN!- You'll be able to say 'That was MY padawan. She was MY apprentice- I raised her and taught her and made her into the person who she was.' AND THEN- everyone will have to acknowledge that YOU were MY teacher, and NOBODY will be able to call you 'Flat-Chest-Retaw' or mock you or say you were a horrible Jedi, and NOBODY will be able to disrespect you ever again!"_

_Mehgan stopped. She actually stopped and turned to stare at her student, utterly amazed at the words that came out of her mouth. Kendalina was pointing at her with an expression on her face as though Mehgan had suggested she WOULDN'T be able to do what she'd just proclaimed._

_Mehgan's jaw dropped, but no sound came out before she closed it again and turned away._

_She felt like she should say something... something like 'The Force will be with you' or 'Train hard' or some other words to show how much she wanted Kendalina to reach her goal, with those words she'd said to explain her reason._

"_Pick up that bag and keep moving." She said, eventually._

_But, as Kendalina did as she was told, with a great deal of grumbling, Mehgan looked back over her shoulder and smiled._

_She knew, somehow, that Kendalina had heard all the other things she'd wanted to say._

* * *

"Master Retaw, where were you?" Kendalina demanded, throwing the door open to the room her teacher was in. Master Retaw didn't turn to look at her, continuing about with what she was doing. Her lightsaber was on one side of her belt, and a bag of other items on the other side of it. Her robes looked like she'd pulled on every tunic she'd ever owned, and was turning off the heating and cooling system, while packing away other effects of the room.

Kendalina had never seen a completely unoccupied room in the dormitories, but she was now.

"I have to leave." Master Retaw said, simply.

Kendalina almost froze, panicking, before she took a deep breath and tried to think a little more clearly.

"You mean... like... on a mission?" She asked, quietly. It was a chance, even as she had the sincere, distinct feeling that it wasn't that explanation.

"No. From the Order." Master Retaw replied, just as quiet. Kendalina heard her gulp, loudly, and started to shake.

First Master Yaddle...

Then Triclops...

Now Master Retaw...

"So... Why do you have to GO?" She demanded, thinking back to when Triclops first came to the Temple, "The Council let Triclops stay at the Temple, even if he wasn't a Jedi or training to be one..."

Master Retaw still didn't look back at her.

"Triclops is still a child. He needs to be in the custody of someone. I'm of age- I can take care of myself." She replied. Kendalina frowned, not completely understanding, before she started to protest.

"But... but..." Her voice came out weak, all the wind taken out of her.

"It's done, Kendalina- don't argue. It'll just make it harder for you to accept it." Master Retaw surveyed the room to be sure that all was cared for, before she stared to leave.

Kendalina didn't move, until Master Retaw had brushed past her. The whisper of her master's robes- still the pale tan of a padawan, not the brown robe of a Knight- seemed to awaken something in Kendalina, as she spun and grabbed onto her Master from behind.

"YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T GO- YOU'RE STILL MY TEACHER!" She shouted, voice shrill and echoing off the wall. Nobody was there and nobody stared, but Master Retaw stopped.

"Master Yoda said he would take over being your Master and see through your training." She replied, quietly, but Kendalina wouldn't stop shouting.

"NO! YOU'RE STILL MY MASTER! I'M STILL YOUR PADAWAN! YOU CAN'T LEAVE! YOU CAN'T!" Master Retaw swayed as Kendalina kept yanking on her tunic, trying to pull her back, "I WISH I'D NEVER MET THAT OLD MAN! I WISH HE'D NEVER COME HERE! NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF HE DIDN'T COME HERE! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!"

Kendalina didn't see or feel the movement, but it happened as Master Retaw loosed herself from Kendalina's grip, then spun and struck her across the face. Kendalina went reeling, before she was grabbed, firmly, by the shoulders and was shook by her Master.

"Don't you say that!" Master Retaw hissed, fiercely, hand squeezing on Kendalina's upper arm, "If you ever say that again- if you EVER blame yourself for ANY of this- I'll never forgive you." Kendalina didn't respond, but stared back at her Master, stunned at this sudden display.

Master Retaw's face was contorted, angry and upset and pained and crushed all at once. Her eyes were gleaming, but Kendalina couldn't tell if it was rage, or if it was tears threatening to spill over, and Master Retaw's lips and chin and face were all shuddering with some suppressed emotion, before Master Retaw pulled Kendalina against her in a hug.

"Don't ever think this was your fault..." She whispered, softly, "This is nobody's fault... even if that man had never come here, Triclops would have eventually learned about his past, and something would have happened that would have gotten me expelled from the order." Kendalina shook in her Master's embrace, "This was just the excuse they used to excommunicate me and put Triclops in custody. Sooner or later, it would have happened, anyway."

Kendalina opened her mouth to argue, but Master Retaw stopped her, reaching into her bag and pulling something out. It was a small crystal circlet, silver with blue lines running through it like rivers, hanging on a thin chain.

"This is a Chalactan faith stone- the Adepts give them to those who aren't Adepts as a well-wishing or good luck charm. Master Billaba gave it to me when I became a Knight to wish me well. She wanted me to find a good apprentice." Master Retaw fastened the chain around Kendalina's neck, letting the stone drop onto her chest, "I found her. And now, I'm passing this onto my excellent student." Master Retaw put a hand on Kendalina's shoulder, as two tears dribbled down the padawan's cheeks, "Become the Greatest Jedi Ever. And prove that you are my student."

Master Retaw turned and walked away. Kendalina stayed in her place, tears going down her face as she watched her teacher leave the Temple, the Order, and her behind.

* * *

Kendalina was greeted by Master Yoda. She hadn't moved from the spot in front of Master Retaw's abandoned room, nor had she noticed the change in the sun's position outside the window, as she was still staring after the unlitten direction her teacher had walked off in.

"A shame, this is..." Master Yoda mused, eying the empty room. Kendalina acted like she hadn't heard him.

"What will you do now, Padawan Orewahime?" Master Yoda finally asked, prodding her with his stick to spur some reaction out of her. Kendalina's chin dropped to her chest and her eyes clenched shut.

"...Why...?" She whispered, and when Master Yoda didn't provide any answer, continued, getting louder, "Why did Master Retaw have to leave? What did she do wrong? WHAT DID ANYBODY DO WRONG? TRICLOPS DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, AND NEITHER DID MASTER RETAW... WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE PUNISHED?! IT ISN'T JUST!" Kendalina sat down, hands fisting in her hair and yanking on it in frustration. Master Yoda calmly watched the outburst before answering.

"Correct this injustice, will you?" He asked. It wasn't a challenge of 'Will you', Kendalina knew; it was a challenge of 'How'.

Kendalina didn't answer, unable to think of anything.

"She asked me to become the Greatest Jedi that I always said I would be... how am I supposed to do it, now?" She asked, miserably, "...What's the POINT, now? It was for Master Retaw and Triclops that I wanted to go that high... without them... what GOOD is it going to do, even if I DO manage to secure that place in history?"

Master Yoda's nose wrinkled before he gave her a sharp whap on the head with his stick.

"So easy to give up, are you?" He asked, disgustedly, "You think an inventor stops inventing when the first model fails? No, an inventor makes a new model and learns what went wrong with the first. You think a painter leaves his easel when one painting does not sell? No, a painter picks up his brush and paints a second, better painting. You think Yoda stops teaching when the student does not wish to learn anymore? No, Yoda continues to teach until his student has learned his lesson." Master Yoda paused, while Kendalina stared at him, as though he were speaking in Huttese, "You think Padawan Orewahime stays on the ground when she cannot find the bell on Master Yoda? No, Padawan Orewahime gets back on her feet and continues for 100 times until she finds that bell."

Kendalina jumped, eyes wide, as Master Yoda mentioned the test he'd put on her head, only a year ago. Blinking in astonishment, perhaps at how he'd said it, or perhaps at her own stupidity, Kendalina wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"...Master Yoda..." She said, quietly, "Master Retaw said you offered to take over my training..." Master Yoda nodded, nonchalantly, "...But... With all due respect... I don't want to be taught anymore..." Kendalina got to her feet.

Master Yoda's ears lifted, with his eyebrows.

"...And it's not that I don't want to learn... but my teacher is Master Retaw. She's the only one allowed to teach me." Kendalina's eyes had returned to that unfocused, but determined hardness, gleaming with that old will that had been unshakable, "...And... I'm her Padawan. I'm not allowed to learn from anyone except her."

The corner of Master Yoda's lips turned up as though he understood. Kendalina's eyes began to brighten again.

"Besides... If I gave up, it'd look bad for her and Trike to be associated, at ANY point in their lives, with a loser like me." She was standing upright again, and her eyes had returned to that fierce, defiant gleam, as though ready to challenge anybody who argued with her, "So, I can't let myself be a loser- I'll be the Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived if it's the last thing I do. And Triclops and Master Retaw are gonna be with me when it happens."

"And a plan, have you?" Asked Master Yoda. Kendalina drooped, slightly.

"Not yet... but... I know one thing for sure..." Master Yoda cocked his head, "...I'm never going to become a Knight."

End Part II

Ready for Part III? I'm not going to update until I get a review- I need to know how I'm doing again.


	16. Part II: Chapter 8

By Sapadu

Chapter 8: Fallen

fall /fɔl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fawl fell, fall·en, fall·ing, noun

–verb (used without object)

1. to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support 2. to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, esp. to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not 3. to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.; decline 4. to subside or abate 5. extend downward; hang down 6. to become lowered or directed downward, as the eyes 7. to become lower in pitch or volume 8. to succumb to temptation or sin, esp. to become unchaste or to lose one's innocence 9. to lose status, dignity, position, character, etc. 10. to succumb to attack 11. to be overthrown, as a government 12. to drop down wounded or dead, esp. to be slain 13. to pass into some physical, mental, or emotional condition 

A/N: This is really an insert. Just because.

Mehgan stared at the bleak gray sky of Coruscant. It was going to rain that afternoon.

Figures.

The former Jedi Knight sighed and trudged home, sighing softly to herself.

* * *

"_We can't stay here much longer..." Noted the padawan next to her. Mehgan looked up, then ducked down again, covering her eyes as a mound of ground nearby exploded. A third body fell next to her, but this one was still breathing._

"_They've got land mines all over the place, here. Have you called for a backup vehicle, yet?" Asked the Knight, who had just dropped down next to her._

"_I sent an SOS, Master, but it will still be some time before they can reach us." His padawan replied, passing over the comlink he held._

"_We can last that long- there's an abandoned shelter not too far away from here that nobody will bother to bomb." Mehgan reported, spreading out the map she'd made when she'd been sent to scout._

_Typical- sent to explore a planet in the Unknown Regions and she'd been assigned to a planet whose inhabitants were right in the middle of a civil war. And the Master and Apprentice pair who had been assigned to go with her on this mission were diplomats. She would make a note of this in her report to the Council that even diplomats should have better training in offensive combat skills than THESE two._

"_Put the map away, Retaw- it might get damaged in this environment." The Knight commanded. Mehgan glowered at his tone, but she obeyed, not wanting to risk it. If the map became damaged, she would be held responsible._

"_But show us the way- we need to get undercover before the next volley of bombs."_

* * *

When it rained on Coruscant, it was always foul smelling, acidic rain. That was because of all the factories and the lack of plants and flowers. All just as well- the nasty precipitation would kill the plants anyway.

Mehgan's stomach growled. She hadn't eaten for about three days now. She could stick it out- she'd find a low-paying, part-time job, probably in a cheap restaurant, flipping nerfburgers... sooner or later.

Mehgan really, really, REALLY wanted to go back to the Jedi Temple. That was more of a home than the box in the loading harbor.

Mehgan had immediately gone to the first wigmaker she could find and sold all of the hair she could cut off- it hadn't been much, so she couldn't even count on it to earn interest in an account. Her face was dirty and scarred from not washing, the bones in her cheeks had swollen from dehydration, her arms and legs were thinner from not eating, and now that she didn't have the hair to cover it up, her ears were revealed as pointed, and the scales on the back of her scalp showed quite plainly. Actually, Mehgan's scales were growing more pronounced each day. She must be close to skin shedding time...

Even if she went back to the Temple now, she doubted even Kendalina would recognize her.

Mehgan still had some bread and fruit back in the crate. She could probably afford just a bite, though- she didn't have enough money to buy anymore food so she'd have to ration the food she had left.

She REALLY missed being able to have a full stomach.

* * *

"_How much longer will our supplies last, Master?" The padawan leaned over his teacher's shoulder as he surveyed what they had. They'd gone off assuming they would be able to renew food and water on a nearby planet. What nobody had taken into account was that their ship would be shot down and their backup supplies would be ruined in the crash._

_It had only been Providential that their comm device hadn't been destroyed and they'd gotten out with enough food and water that they would have SOME thing to eat._

"_One more day- if we all plan to eat, that is..." The Knight replied with a grimace. Mehgan pretended she didn't hear- it was hard enough concentrating on her own observations._

_The post they were hiding inside was an awkward shape- square, but with hexagonal protrusions from the wall, like storage space or something of the like- and there were bones that littered the ground- all of them very small, but Mehgan couldn't imagine what they were from. _

_Were they the decomposed remains of some rodent pest? Or were they scraps from the food that the troops had eaten? Or were they the remains of soldiers that had been poorly buried? Considering how they'd gotten here, Mehgan hadn't even seen one of the inhabitants fighting in this war. Were they Human or Alien? Their technology was obviously advanced, but was this a debate over land or politics or religion or was it just a savage, all out slaughter for some other reason?_

_There was an explosion outside and the roof shook. Mehgan let out a cry of alarm and ducked underneath the corner of the roof that almost came down on the Knight and his Padawan, catching it just in time and pushing it up._

_Then she felt something funny in her shirt- like something had come loose and fallen out._

"_Retaw, what is THAT?"_

* * *

Mehgan got back to her crate just as the rain came down. The box was leaky, but she'd draped a spare tunic over the top, slowing the leaks to dripping instead of running. With a sigh, she wondered about her REAL home.

How was Kendalina doing? Was Master Yoda training her well? Was she continuing to work hard to become that Great Jedi she'd sworn to be? Mehgan thought for a moment about the concept of Kendalina NOT training long and hard hours to reach her goal of being 'The Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived', and then laughed- just the image was preposterous.

But... she couldn't help but wonder... what else was that hyperactive, unpredictable apprentice of hers doing? The memory of some very bright red, highly offensive illustrations of the Jedi High Council scrawled across a wall in the Entrance Hall came to mind and Mehgan suddenly felt very sorry for the Masters who were, undoubtedly, going through some very harsh hell at the hands of her Padawan's pranks.

And what about the Council members? Masters Yoda and Billaba? Did the rest of the Council now shun them for defending her? Or was it water under the bridge for them? Megan snorted. The Council shun Master Yoda... that was an even bigger laugh than Kendalina giving up.

She doubted anyone even remembered her.

So much for true love.

* * *

_Mehgan would have reached down to pick up her egg, but her hands were full and the Knight got it first._

"_I'll repeat- Retaw, what is THIS?" He demanded holding it up. Mehgan was beginning to feel short of breath from the strain of holding up the ceiling. It was not helping that she was beginning to panic._

"_That's my egg." She blurted out. The Knight frowned, glaring at her._

"_'Your' egg? Retaw, you KNOW we're short on supplies- if you found something to eat while scouting, why didn't you report that you'd found it?" He asked, disapproving. Mehgan felt the eyes of the Padawan fixing the same disappointed glare on her, but she didn't care- she was now feeling very desperate to stop the Knight from taking her egg, even going so far as to consider if she should drop the roof._

"_I didn't find it!" She said, faintly. Her arms were starting to ache from the strain._

_The Knight frowned at her._

"_Retaw... what have the Masters always told you about lying- this is why you can't get a Master to take you on as a Padawan. It's a very nasty thing to do." He scolded, as though speaking to someone younger than him. Normally, Mehgan would have been very indignant at being spoken down to by a Knight only half her age, but she didn't have the energy to be upset about the personal insult._

"_I DIDN'T FIND IT- I SWEAR!" She shouted, desperately. With a slight frown, the Knight looked from her egg to her._

"_So... you brought this with you from off planet?" He asked._

"_Yes- I've had it with me the whole time." Mehgan's knees started to bend under the weight of the roof. The Knight looked even more disappointed._

"_Were you planning to keep this to eat for yourself when we ran out of food? How could you?" He demanded. Mehgan's arms started to shake._

"_I'M NOT GOING TO EAT IT!" She shouted, "I'M WAITING FOR IT TO HATCH!"_

_The Knight sighed, disappointedly and somehow exasperated, again, as though Mehgan was somehow childish compared to her._

"_Retaw, this is an emergency situation. And, in any case, wanting to keep a pet is a frivolous expenditure, especially for a Jedi." He scolded. Mehgan opened her mouth, but he turned away, not intending on listening, "Either way, you can find another egg and wait for that one to hatch. But, under the circumstances, our survival comes first."_

_Mehgan's jaw worked, uselessly, as the Knight pulled out a knife from his pouch and made an incision into the leathery shell of her egg, before his fingers pulled it open. Something in her chest hurt, like that knife had pierced her breastplate and his fingers had pulled her ribcage apart. No sound came out of her mouth, but she couldn't pull her eyes away. The Padawan had set one of the packs of cooking fuel on fire and was managing to keep a flat stone afloat over the flame._

_As the albumen and yolk dripped onto the stone, a sizzling noise filled the empty silence in Mehgan's ears and she could have sworn she felt the rock burning on her own skin. She felt hot and burned and sick inside, like her organs were somehow being roasted over that flame._

"_Whoa, Retaw!" _

_Mehgan's fingers slipped. The roof fell._

* * *

Mehgan's stomach growled and her heart ached. She looked at the bread she had in the corner. She didn't want it... she just never felt hungry. It seemed so unnecessary to have all this food when it never provided all the nutrients she needed, and she never finished it, anyway. She needed a drink- there was a bar nearby that gave free water... that would stop her stomach from aching so much...

But who really gave a damn about it at this point? She didn't.

The bartender didn't either. He knew her by now- she came almost every day.

"Maggie! Usual cheapest and a big cup of spit?" He asked. Mehgan made a face.

"Jegg, keep referring to the water I drink as spit, and I'll just take the cup, thank you." She snapped, feeling tired and headachey. Jegg offered her a tissue and only then did Mehgan understand her headache was because she'd been crying.

"Good to see you've still got your sense of humor." He mumbled from under his fur. The Chadra-Fan bartender brought over a cheap glass of rum-ginny, which was almost completely straight alcohol. Just what Mehgan needed when she got like this.

How fitting, it occurred to her, that as soon as she was expelled from the Jedi Order the first thing she did was become an alcoholic... Maybe it was a good decision, after all...

Jegg was watching her out of the corner of his beady little eye before, under the pretense of retrieving an ingredient for a cocktail, he managed to whisper to her.

"There's some leftovers that some earlier customers didn't eat- do you want to finish it off so I don't have to throw it out?" He asked, quietly. Mehgan shook her head.

"I'm not hungry." She lied.

Maybe she could get a job here as a dishwasher- Mehgan could eat whatever the customers didn't finish AND get a paycheck... maybe she could look into it...

No... too much waste... who was she kidding?

Jegg kept his eye on her before Mehgan finished off her water and left a credit on the counter- part of her wondered if she should leave a second for a tip, but the other side of her said that Jegg could appreciate how broke she was.

It was still raining outside, and Mehgan almost fainted from the lack of sugar in her bloodstream. She righted herself against a building, but slipped and hit the ground with a painful thud.

* * *

_Mehgan found herself on the ground against a wall. The corner of the roof had collapsed and left them in a triangle-shaped room. The door had been on the other side, so they were now quite effectively trapped, but she didn't care at this point._

_The Padawan had finished cooking and took the knife his master had used to pierce the shell to cut her egg into three pieces._

_Mehgan could only just stare, something inside her aching so horribly... her stomach was twisting, as though she'd swallowed a piece of molten iron and it was writhing inside of her. Her eyes were dry and wouldn't blink, and her throat was clogged up, like a stopper had been forced into it._

_She didn't move, even as she was offered one of the three pieces. It was put on the ground at her feet, on a flat rock that looked about the cleanest of any that could be used as a plate, but Mehgan couldn't tear her eyes away from the Knight and his Apprentice as they ate their portions, and every bite they took made some portion of Mehgan's internal organs and muscles flinch, as though they were biting directly into her flesh and bones._

_There was a loud thud, and a dark fist emerged through the solid rock. Even the Knight was startled, as a second hand poked through the hole, tearing the rock apart to reveal Master Windu and Master Billaba on the other side._

"_Master Windu... Master Billaba... we didn't think anyone would arrive for a few more days..." He said in amazement, but relief, all the same. Master Windu pushed the wreckage aside, as the two Jedi got to their feet._

"_We just finished a mission in a neighboring system." Master Billaba explained, "We received your distress signal and came quickly." The Knight let out a sigh of relief._

"_And we were just worrying about our food rations... We owe you a great deal of gratitude." He said, bowing a little as he and his Padawan gathered their supplied and followed Master Windu to the transport. Mehgan didn't move._

_It had all been for nothing... if she could have held out just a few moments longer... it wouldn't have happened... and now..._

"_Retaw, we need to go, now!" The Knight called back. Mehgan didn't hear him._

"_Maggie, you have to move." Master Billaba was kneeling in front of her, trying to gently, but firmly pull her out of her position. Mehgan didn't see her._

_The little third of egg- the yolk was blue and had hardened, while the albumen was starting to brown and crinkle with the cold and filthy air- was still sitting on it's flat rock between her feet._

_Mehgan's eyes never left it, even as Master Billaba pulled her to her feet, like a doll, and dragged her into the ship, before something snapped. She put her face in her hands and began to scream._

* * *

Mehgan curled up, head spinning and vision blurring. She felt like some bones of hers had at least been bruised, but the pain wasn't there- every nerve in her body felt numb, like they'd been severed. The cold was penetrating, like needles were stuck into every cell of her body and pumping her full of liquid nitrogen or some other element that only became a liquid at below -100°C.

Mehgan had had insomnia for the past week. She didn't care. She didn't want to have dreams, so it made sense to her to not sleep.

The rain only got harder, forming into puddles in any crevasse they could find- in the folds in her clothes, in the cup of her palm, in the curved linings of her ear. For some reason, it felt... warmer, to be completely bathed in this frigid water. It was the air that froze her to the marrow. Mehgan's eyes closed, letting the drum of the rain lull her into a semi-consciousness, a state of almost non-being, that border between sleep and wake where there were no dreams, but there was no real world and no pain. The side of her face pressed to the duracrete melted into the pores of the material, like it was the universe's softest pillow, and the layers of mist that hovered above the ground were like a blanketing pair of arms that surrounded her, engulfed her, and kept her warm and safe.

Maybe she was losing her mind...

Something poked her. One of Mehgan's eyes opened, wearily, to see the white and black face of a police trooper.

"Ma'am, please do not sleep in the streets." His voice was nasally, even through the communicator in his mask, "You are creating a safety hazard for other residents."

Mehgan shifted a little, then managed to get to her knees. The trooper was still standing over her, making sure she was complying with his request, as though he believed she wouldn't if he took his eyes off her for one moment.

It was that much more humiliating when Mehgan's knee gave way beneath her and the trooper actually dropped his blaster, catching her.

Mehgan heard the sound of his annoying voice comm-signaling for back up to take her to a medcenter. She didn't understand a syllable of it.

* * *

_Depa Billaba managed to help Master Windu take the ship out of orbit and make the jump to lightspeed before she left the control room to find, and hopefully console, the still hysterical Mehgan Retaw._

_Mehgan was still curled up in a ball in the furthest corner of the ship, shaking and screaming and crying and wringing her head and pulling her hair out with her hands. Her limbs shook, as though something was pulling on them, trying to tear her muscles from their bones, and her voice had gone hoarse, but there was still an audible wail of despair and self-loathing that echoed from the back of her throat as though it would never stop. _

_Depa sat by, quietly, before she cautiously asked._

"_Maggie... what happened?" The question was put well enough that Mehgan didn't break down, completely, but it was incredibly difficult to understand her answer._

"_...She's gone..." Mehgan whispered, shakily. Depa didn't press, as Mehgan continued to mumble those words over and over again, until they changed, "They ate her..."_

_Depa's eyes widened as a flash of memory brought back the remnants of what she'd seen the Knight and his Padawan eating and the small piece of cooked egg that had been between her friends feet, which she'd stared at so intensely._

"_Oh..." Depa couldn't keep the pained tone out of her voice as she reached over and pulled Mehgan into a hug, "Oh, oh, oh..."_

_Mehgan's sobs were not muffled by the cloth of Depa's robes, no matter how she burrowed her face against them._

* * *

Mehgan woke up the next morning, her stomach wrapped around her spine in search of nutrients, and a hangover pounding in her ears. The sun was coming through the windows, the smell of swabbing alcohol was in the air, and an IV was stuck into her arm, feeding her water and nutrients.

Today was going to be a bad day.

But at least she'd gotten used to it.

End Insert: Fallen


	17. Part III: Chapter 1

PRINCESS

By Sapadu

Part III

Chapter 1: Maturity

ma·tu·ri·ty Pronunciation Key - [m_uh_-**ch**_**oo**_**r**-i-tee, -**t**_**oo**_**r**-, -**ty**_**oo**_**r**-, -**chur**-

–noun

1. the state of being mature; ripeness

2. full development; perfected condition

3. Finance

a. the state of being due

b. the time when a note or bill of exchange becomes due

The troopers put in front of the doors to the containment cell had been given only two orders.

Let nobody in, unless they have a pass with holopic identification.

Let nobody out, unless they had the same pass and holopic identification as the person who had been let in.

Neither guard really understood why, but they didn't question it- the commands had been from Master Windu, from the High Council, himself. Quite frankly, it was enough of an honor to have been acknowledged for the job.

Every so often, a Jedi Master or Knight would come down and ask for a report, and they would simply say,

"No activity, sir. All is secure and quiet."

It was rather boring.

Occasionally, a child would come by and ask them what they were doing, but they replied, quite strictly,

"We are guarding something that is top secret. Move along."

Until, one day, a child stopped, and pressed a little further.

"Well, is it a prisoner or a weapon or secrets of the Republic that can't be discovered or a defector from the Separatists' side with valuable information or..."

That became annoying rather quickly. It also made them both curious.

"We cannot tell you- it is strictly confidential. Move along." They repeated, but the child started to laugh with glee.

"Ah-HA! HA HA HA! You don't know! Whassa matter- aren't you two important enough to know what it is you're guarding? I'll bet the Council thinks you two would try to steal it, whatever it is!"

"It is not our place to know. Move along." The troopers repeated, but the child continued to point and laugh and mock them.

"Whaddya gonna do to me? I'm not doing anything. I'm not trying to break and enter or steal it, so you can't shoot me! Ha ha ha!" Before a Knight came running over, shouting at the child,

"Padawan Orewahime, get away from there!"

The child would leave, but she would always be back, jeering at them and neither of the troopers were sure what to do- they COULDN'T fire or run after her or even scold her, since it wasn't within their authority, but they also couldn't relent and let her in. So, for the most part, they learned to stand there and put up with it until a Knight or Master came along to chase her away.

It was a month after the child had started showing up that, during one session of harsh, yet somehow witty criticism, the troopers heard something inside the cell.

One pointed his gun towards the door, while the other raised his at the child, who fell silent, and they all heard much more clearly.

It was the sound of someone crying on the other side of the door, and a tiny voice, mumbling.

"What do you think it's saying?" One asked the other, but neither could answer, so he pressed his earpiece against the door and heard the words much more clearly.

"...Kendalina... stop it... please..."

* * *

After several months of the Masters pestering her and stopping her from going near the containment cell Triclops was being held in, Kendalina switched tactics. Since she knew they couldn't question a direct instruction from a fellow Master, Kendalina went to Master Yoda and asked for him to help her.

Master Yoda had said nothing, but the next day, he surprised her with an interesting request.

"Work to do, there is." He explained, "Someone to care for the younglings, there must be." Master Yoda turned Kendalina over to the Bear Clan, twenty younglings barely up to her waist, "Take them for a walk- maybe show them around the Temple and teach them about what the rooms are for."

And Master Yoda disappeared, leaving Kendalina with a roomful of younglings, all staring at her with curious little eyes.

A smile spread across Kendalina's face.

* * *

"And these rooms, younglings, are the Sith Containment Cells. Whenever we find a bad guy who's been running around like a maniac, this is where they're put, because the metals that make the rooms can't be manipulated by the Force and it keeps them contained."

Triclops' ears pricked up at the familiar sound of that voice, then felt his back shiver as he heard the high-pitched voice reply.

"So who's in this room? Is it a really powerful Sith?" Triclops uncurled from his spot in the corner and scooted over to the door, pressing his ear against it.

"No- the guy in here is named 'Triclops'. He's not bad- he's just misunderstood." Triclops heard Kendalina's voice say- it wasn't her normal voice... she was pitching it higher and sweeter, like she always did when she was being a sarcastic bitch- Yes, Triclops would call her that, since that was usually how Kendalina described herself.

Triclops heard the sound of several tiny feet shuffling around. How young WERE these younglings? Curious, Triclops tried to stand on his toes to see outside the room- his nose just barely touched the edge of the small window that let the littlest bit of light into the room. He could only see Kendalina's face clearly- she hadn't changed a bit, he was glad to see- but around her waist, he saw the tops of at least twenty little heads.

"So, will the Council let him out?" Triclops heard a little voice ask- it sounded like a girl's, but he couldn't be sure. His toes quivered as he stood on the very tips of them, fingernails grasping on the slight ledge created by the window as he pulled himself higher to see tiny little faces all staring up at Kendalina, occasionally looking towards the door he was behind. None of them could have been any older than three, hardly even old enough to learn about how to levitate or read minds, let alone do it.

"No, because Master Windu is doing something called 'Being an ass'. Can everyone say that?" Kendalina was still smiling very sweetly and speaking in that high-pitched voice, and Triclops felt ashamed as the younglings repeated after her.

"Ooh, look- he's watching us!" Kendalina's voice was even higher pitched than before, "Everyone wave and say hi!" Twenty faces turned to look directly into his eyes and at least thirty hands wiggled their pudgy little fingers at him- some were waving with two hands instead of just one- and Triclops felt his cheeks go red and a smile spread across his lips. Cautiously, he lifted the fingers of one hands and waved back.

"Miss Owewahime, I can' see." Triclops heard a voice say, before Kendalina bent over and hoisted a youngling even shorter than Master Yoda onto her hip and helped her wave. Her little face was round, but not pudgy, cheeks full, but not fat, and the biggest blue eyes he'd ever seen batted at him with tufts of short, fuzzy orange hair laying as smooth as it ever would be on her scalp. Her little lips and tongue were colored pink like a cat's tongue as she smiled and waved at him, two tiny white beads of teeth just barely glimmering in her lower jaw.

Triclops' toes gave out and he crumpled back to the floor, but his face was red with a wide, wide smile as he went back to his corner, shaking from head to toe in complete ecstasy from seeing the adorable younglings.

It would be a good day.

* * *

Master Yoda was less than amused when he heard about the stunt Kendalina had pulled with the younglings that day, but Kendalina found a piece of candy stuck in the sleeve of her tunic later that evening which told her Master Yoda was proud of her for being resourceful with the opportunity.

During the night, Kendalina snuck out through her bedroom window and went into the city, which was still lighted up like it was broad daylight. All the buildings' windows glowed like stars in the distance, and litten hovercars and transports made streaks of light in their wake, disappearing as soon as a new vehicle took it's place.

Kendalina came to a halt at the medcenter, which was still alight as though it were the middle of the day. The corridors were still that bright white that seemed to glow in the fluorescent lighting. Medics were moving through the halls with patients on stretchers or medicine on hovercarts or charts in their hands, and the whole center reeked with that smell of something so clean it seemed to choke the living out of her.

Kendalina had worn a purely white tunic for the occasion, and had opted to wear it much more professionally than she usually dressed. Her hair was still held up in it's braid, but she kept it up in a bun as well so it couldn't fall into her hands, and Kendalina hadn't needed a mirror to know there were dark circles all around her eyes- she hadn't slept for any more than two hours a night these past three weeks.

The head of the center looked incredibly surprised to see a ten-year-old striding into his office with the same air of confidence and superiority that, usually, only an adult would have. Kendalina seated herself in a hover chair and her legs dangled, feet not even reaching the floor, but continued to stare straight ahead at the center's director. He stared at her for a long moment, then looked down at the holonet message he'd received, then back at her.

"I find it very hard to believe that you are the one who sent me this request for apprenticeship to one of the medics at this center." He finally said. Kendalina kept her composure.

"I wasn't- that is a request from a Jedi Master at the Temple who sent it on my behalf." She replied. The director looked confused, but regained his bearings and surveyed Kendalina again.

"...You're incredibly mature for your age..." He said, and Kendalina didn't respond, before he said, "I don't see any reason why you couldn't volunteer here... perhaps you could help in the pediatrics department, helping the nurses with other children your age..."

"What would that entail, sir?" Kendalina asked, quietly. The director blinked, then smiled.

"Nothing too hard- maybe help them carry medical supplies, take notes for them when their hands are busy, run errands... and all the while, you'll be learning from the other nurses what it takes to be one..."

"I'm sorry, but I think there is a misunderstanding." Kendalina interrupted. She was starting to be peeved at this man's attitude- he probably thought that if he offered her a lowly position, she'd jump to accept it because it was more than she had now, "I would like to learn how to be a MEDIC- not a nurse. Furthermore, I might not yet be qualified to perform surgery, fill prescriptions, or run medical tests on samples, but I still need to learn how to do them."

The director looked taken aback, but then smiled.

"Well, perhaps you would like to assist the nurses in the emergency room- since everything depends on timing in that ward, they could always use an extra hand to shorten the time between them and the supplies they need..."

"That's closer. With some patience, we'll get there eventually." Kendalina replied, simply. The director's eye twitched, but he said nothing. Kendalina remained silent, waiting for him to make the next move, knowing he would try again to assign her as an assistant to some nurse.

He did, and Kendalina politely, but firmly managed to repeat that she was learning to be a medic, not a nurse, and she was looking to be apprenticed, not pushed into a position as a measly bacta carrier and errand girl.

"Young lady, we cannot hire you, if that is what you are trying to make me do." The director finally snapped, irritably. Kendalina didn't flinch.

"Of course you can't- I haven't taken the exam for a medical license. And I'm not asking to be employed. I'm asking to be assigned to a medic whom I can observe and assist in preparation for the medical exam."

The director stared at her, speechless, before he mumbled,

"I see..." But then said nothing else. Kendalina watched him, cautiously, waiting for him to continue, but he didn't for several minutes, "I don't believe that you'll manage to pass the exam, even if they do allow you to take it."

"I don't expect you to believe it." Kendalina said, serenely. She knew that she would take the exam, and that she would pass, and that would make it even funnier to see the old man's face when she managed it.

The director gave her a strange look.

"Yet... you still want to be... 'apprenticed'?" He asked, as though he thought she was joking. Kendalina nodded, calmly.

"The High Council was going to assign me to the medical corps and send me here, anyway." She said, "It's better that you have me coming to you in search of volunteer work, in a much better temperament than if I'd been sent here by the Temple, under which circumstances, I would have driven most of your staff to insanity, suicide, or quitting and you would have then been in some very serious trouble."

The director paled at this comment, then blew a bit of air out of the corners of his mouth, resigning himself to his fate.

"...I... can find a medic who can spare some time..." He finally muttered, noncommittally. Kendalina nodded, understanding and accepting, "But you'll have to be here early in the morning every day."

So... since he couldn't scare her off with the easy offers, he was going to give her the toughest work possible until she gave up.

That was one.

* * *

"I must admit, it's certainly a first in our history to have a Human child on such a level to take a medical exam." The Chancellor agreed, smiling congenially as Kendalina greeted him- the unusual request had come from Master Yoda as he told her about the Chancellor's interest in her abilities, but she couldn't imagine why, "I'll assume that the director of the medcenter was also surprised, am I correct?"

"Chancellor Palpatine, please tell me what it is you wanted to see me for- the Council also wanted to speak with me today and I'm limited for time as it is."

Aside from her initial meeting with the Chancellor when Triclops had first come to the Temple, Kendalina hardly ever saw the old man. She couldn't say she was too upset about that, as her first meeting with the man had given her a distinct impression that she had not liked at all. Now, however, she was too curious as

The Chancellor's long, bald forehead wrinkled as he raised an eyebrow, but he said nothing to voice any displeasure at her short disposition.

"Since you are in a press for time, I will make this brief- I was wondering what you were considering to do with a medical degree once you had it." Kendalina's expression warped and she wondered, however briefly, how sorry of an indication this was about whose hands the government had fallen into if an idiot like this man could be appointed Chancellor.

"I'll become a medic." She resisted adding 'Obviously' onto the end of that sentence.

"Obviously." The Chancellor agreed in a congenial tone that made Kendalina roll her eyes, "But what plans in specific did you have in mind? Surgery, pharmacology, toxicology... did you plan to work in the maternity ward or the pediatrics ward or the emergency room? Please- I would be very interested in knowing."

Kendalina's nostrils flared.

"Why do you need to know?" She asked, suspiciously. Chancellor Palpatine's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows shot up.

"To be frank, there is a war beginning. Surely you've heard about the battle on Geonosis from the Masters?"

Kendalina mustered up her best puzzled face, and at least eighty percent of it was sincere as she had heard very little from the Masters at all since Master Retaw's expulsion. That was mostly her decision, given that the reason she had heard very little was because whenever one of the Masters began speaking to her, unless it was Master Yoda or Billaba, Kendalina plugged her ears and turned away.

"Oh, come now- anything at all about the incredible loss of Jedi that day, about the Separatists, about the resurfacing of Count Dooku?" The Chancellor pressed and Kendalina tipped her head to the side.

"Dooku? Dooku... Oh- Dooku!" She repeated the name several times with various inflections and when the Chancellor breathed a sigh of relief, Kendalina allowed her confused expression to fall back into place, "No- never heard of him."

The Chancellor gave her a very peculiar look, but she was proud of herself for having actually gotten on his nerves. Every second was worth it.

"But what does it have to do with ME?" Kendalina pressed when the Chancellor stopped speaking. He sighed a little, then leaned back in his chair.

"In any case, because there is a war now, there will be an increased demand for medics and healers, both on the battle front and here. Considering your history in the Jedi Temple, as well as the combat techniques your former master specialized in..." Kendalina's lower eyelid twitched at the phrase 'Former master', but she said nothing, "I was considering that you might be particularly useful as a medic on the front lines..."

"But wouldn't it make more sense to send better trained medics who have an experience benefit in their field? Soldiers injuries are often far more serious than civilians, and the longer a medic is experienced in the field, the higher their rate of success. A combat med needs the highest chances and rates of success possible." Kendalina asked, managing not to sound suspicious. The Chancellor sighed, as though to say 'Oh, you sad, foolish little girl.' Kendalina didn't rise to it.

"That may be true, but it is also necessary to send someone who is still able to run and return the offense, in case of an attack on the medical base. The older medics become, the more difficult it is for them to defend themselves and their patients in time. Your reflexes and skills are far beyond any of those of the older medics, and-" But Kendalina interrupted.

"I'm still not a full medic, yet. I still think you're picking the wrong person, and for the wrong reasons." Kendalina kept her tone light, as though she were humbly trying to dispel some overly flattering remark he'd just heaped on her head, "Surely, you don't mean to say that someone from within the Order has told you that my skills are THAT high? I'm sorry to say they must have just been exaggerating in favor of a compliment."

The Chancellor frowned, then shrugged.

"It is true that you are not a medic, YET, Padawan Orewahime, but you are a great deal more talented than anyone I've ever met in the field of medical science. Are you unsure of your own abilities? I'm sure you would pass the exam with a higher score than those three times your age..." Something in the Chancellor's tone made Kendalina suddenly very shy, but she didn't show it.

"If I was allowed to TAKE it, perhaps." She managed, but her bitter tone betrayed her far too well. The Chancellor's expression was suddenly very kind, almost reminding Kendalina of Master Retaw's reassuring smile.

"Is THAT what has been disturbing you?" He asked, warmly, "I'm sure that anyone would permit you to take the exam once they saw your abilities." Kendalina would have been reassured by this, except it was the Chancellor who was saying it and she felt incredibly doubtful of his sincerity.

"Except that people are idiots when they're convinced that they're the ones right. I've done it a lot, and older people are even more arrogant than I am." Kendalina muttered, almost sullenly, except that it didn't quite count as she was very correct. The Chancellor's eyebrows raised, but then he reached into his desk and pulled something out that made Kendalina's heart skip a beat.

"What's that?" She asked, curiously as the Chancellor handed to her- actually let her take it in her hands and hold it.

"That is an official document citing permission from the Chancellor to take exemplary exams for specific licenses, such as education, law, and medicine. It states that the person in possession of such a document has been recognized to have accelerated abilities and they may be allowed to move onto a level of study beyond their general age range."

Kendalina didn't say anything, but inside, she was writhing and seething with curiosity and confusion- it seemed way too good to be true. And in her experience, if it seemed like that, it probably was.

"Is something like this LEGAL?" She asked, managing to sound awed. The Chancellor laughed, as though admiring the cute antics of a toddler just learning to walk.

"Of course- when the Senate voted me emergency powers, one was to be allowed to make digressions in a person's suited career if I feel it is necessary to increase the number of specialists in that field. And we ARE in desperate need of medics, right now..." Kendalina was listening while she scanned over the document in her hands- it was very thorough, and gave essentially all power to the person who held it. Even the fine print simply had something about a person's financial obligations after they obtained their degree and Kendalina wasn't worried about money- she could handle that.

"And... you're just GIVING this to me?" She asked, keeping her voice awed, almost eager, like a child amazed their parent would extend to them a fabulous toy.

"Of course- why shouldn't I?" The Chancellor's tone was coy, but Kendalina didn't rise to it, "Though, I would like you to consider placement on the battle lines- the troops could use a fine young person such as yourself. And the Republic just might depend on it."

Kendalina said nothing, but as soon as she was excused and out of the Chancellor's range of vision, she grinned.

That was two.

* * *

"_What do you want to do, now?"_

Heh.

"I've got the two things I need now- from here on, I can work my way up."

"_Can you, now? I thought you wanted everything right away- and why aren't we doing it NOW?"_

"Oh, I DO. But, unlike SOMEone here, I have patience to wait until I've earned them."

"_You act like it's MY fault I'm impatient."_

"Isn't it?"

"_Meanie!"_

* * *

Triclops sat and waited- the last thing he remembered was that other voice in the back of his head telling him that he had to stay asleep for awhile. Triclops didn't trust him, yet, but decided it couldn't hurt to sleep- it would make the time pass quicker and if anything happened, he wouldn't realize it.

The other him had said he would awake Triclops when it was safe again. Triclops wouldn't wait with any trace of anticipation for that day. He wished he could stay asleep forever. It hurt less to sleep, for some reason. It was as though emotions had less importance in dreams, provided they truly were dreams instead of memories resurfacing.

Triclops let himself fall even deeper into sleep, into a world of whimsical dreams where Kendalina and Master Retaw were his mother and sister and stuffed kittens grew on trees. In his dreams, Triclops was never a slave, never alone, never shunned because he was a freak. In his dreams, Triclops was always free, always normal, always surrounded by people...

Always loved.

He hated his dreams when he awoke. Triclops knew he was unlike other people, who could dream either strange fantasies or horrible nightmares, and when they awoke, they could either say 'Oh, what a nice dream that was' or 'Thank god it was just a dream'. Triclops didn't have that luxury. His good dreams were tainted by the bitterness that they were just that and would never be reality, and his nightmares were always just reflections of the past that he wanted so badly to forget.

But they were becoming clearer and clearer with every passing day. Triclops wasn't sure why, but he really did prefer to just sleep rather than be awake for those horrible memories.

Then, one day, just after a long, bizarre, but not unpleasant dream involving himself in a frilly dress, Kendalina dressed like a pink bantha, and a field of wild flowers that turned into marsh-fluff legamorphs and duck's eggs with the wings and webbed feet of the hatching chicks poking out of them, Triclops heard that other voice again.

"_Now, it is time to wake up."_

Triclops' eyes snapped open and he found himself in a strange, new room. There was a pile of blankets and pillows that he was lying on, and light filled the room through a window right over him. Triclops' third eye opened and he saw a girl with short, uneven brown hair behind him, reading something from a large book. A stack of paper books was in the corner, packed all the way up to the ceiling, a small box with things that looked like clothes hanging out of it was next to her, a timepiece was on the floor next to him, one of the letters blinking, fading, then reappearing every few seconds, and there was a door in the corner. It wasn't locked.

Triclops jumped up and made a dash for the door, only to trip and fall on his face as the girl stuck her leg out and knocked his legs out from under him. Triclops looked over to her face in panic, only to see a bright gray eye smiling at him- the other was hidden behind a shaggy curtain of bangs.

"Mornin', sleeping beauty." She said, lightly. Triclops gaped.

"Kendalina..." He mumbled, in shock, but Kendalina's smile remained firmly in place as she got off of her backside and Triclops suddenly found himself on his back on the makeshift mattress. Kendalina's hands were still in her pockets, tucked under her skirt.

Kendalina no longer wore robes of a Jedi Padawan- in fact, she was wearing something very different from the robes that Triclops was accustomed to seeing her in. Her base layer was a backless, black body suit that clung to her like a second skin. One leg was cut too high to her hip, but the other was too close to her knee, and either way, they were both fraying. Over this, Kendalina had tied a shirt and fastened an unusual skirt that looked almost like one of her Jedi tunics torn in two, except she'd rolled up the sleeves almost to her shoulders and the skirt reached past her knees, but was only parted on the sides so she could move her legs freely.

Kendalina wasn't wearing any shoes, wriggling her toes as though celebrating the freedom.

"Where ARE we? What is going on? How long was I sleeping? Why..." Triclops demanded, but Kendalina gave him a shove with the pad of her foot and made him lay back down on the makeshift bed.

"Calm down an' I'll explain ev'rythin'." Kendalina said, severely, making herself comfortable at his feet with her legs crossed. Triclops' mouth worked for a few more moments, before he finally managed to blurt out.

"YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!"

A/N: In case you didn't notice from this chapter, Triclops has weird dreams when he doesn't have nightmares. This will come back to play later in the story. And, as far as his dreams go, he dreams in pink and fuzzy kitties. Yes, he likes cute things. This will also come back to play, later.


	18. Part III: Chapter 2

By Sapadu

Chapter 2: Maverick

mav·er·ick /ˈmævərɪk, ˈmævrɪk/ Pronunciation Key - [**mav**-er-ik,**mav**-rik

–noun

1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother

2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates

Kendalina pulled something out of her pocket- Triclops balked backwards, gaping as she lifted a slim stick to her lips and began chewing. Triclops pointed, but Kendalina swatted his hand.

"It's not spice, Trike- 's just somethin' for me ta chew when 'M nervous." Kendalina reassured, before mussing her now short hair up.

"Well... ta star' wit yer first question, 'ts been 'bout a year since Master Retaw was kicked outta da Temple." Kendalina's unusual accent was slurred as she spoke with that stick in her mouth, but the information made Triclops stare.

"...A year, already?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina tipped her head to one side, then spoke again.

"Ac'lly, more like a year 'n a few months..." She reconsidered, "...'M 'leven now, 'n you'd be..." Kendalina paused, and Triclops would have felt insulted except he'd completely forgotten his own age and stopped keeping track, altogether, "Thirteen."

Triclops felt numb inside. He was thirteen and Kendalina was eleven... and yet... she seemed so much OLDER... it was as though three or four years had been compressed into the last two years of their lives, accelerating Kendalina past her adolescence and forcing Triclops into adulthood.

"Now... 'bout w'as been goin' on..." Kendalina paused, then shrugged and took her chewing stick out of her mouth, "I'll tell ya."

* * *

"After the old man wanted to talk to me, the Council also had a session to hold- they wanted me to find a new Master, or assign me to one of the Service Corps. Master Yoda couldn't argue with them, because he wasn't officially teaching me, not as a Master to an Apprentice, since I'd told him I couldn't be his padawan, anymore than he could be my Master. 

"...

"...That didn't make any sense, did it? No? Oh, okay then.

"Well, I was called into the Council room, and everyone was sitting around in the circle- dear GOD, I'd never seen such a bunch of straight faces in my life. I thought everyone was playing poker or something. I mean, seriously! Even Master Yoda was all serious and shit.

"So, I ask them 'Where's the funeral?' And nobody laughed or even smiled, but they all kept glaring at me- no, I didn't think it was THAT rude, why should I have?- In any case, Master Windu started talking.

"'Padawan Orewahime,' He said, all matter-of-fact and grumpy, 'You need to be chosen by a new master or be sorted into one of the Service Corps.' And I rolled my eyes and told them 'Tell me something I DON'T know.' And all the Council looked really upset and told me to take it seriously.

"'Okay,' I said, smiling- you know, the way I always smile when I'm being a sarcastic bitch?- 'Once you take ME seriously.' And, of course, everyone got all pissed off about it, except Master Yoda. Seriously, even Master Billaba was upset that I wasn't behaving an' shit.

"'Padawan Orewahime, you still have a long way to go before you can be a Knight- do not start demanding respect such as this when you still haven't been trained.' Master Windu said, but I can see Master Yoda shaking his head, because he knows that I'm not even gonna try to be a Knight, so I say,

"''Cept I'm never GOING to be a Knight.' And the whole Council just sits and stares at me.

"Finally, one of the Master's asks, in this tone that I KNOW was just mocking Master Retaw, 'So, you've given up on that boast that you will be the Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived?' And I grin at him, because I'm better than him, anyway- I am and you know it, so don't argue- 'Actually, I don't need to be a Knight to be the Greatest Jedi Ever. Not if it means I have to listen to you lousy old jerks- that will impede me from doing what's right.'

"Oh, you should have seen everyone's faces- they all went RED, I thought everyone was going to explode, 'cuz they were all staring at me with this I-will-set-you-ablaze look. Master Yoda kept snickering, and I had to leave, because it was time for my shift.

* * *

"Yes, you heard me right- shift. I was volunteering at a medcenter to learn the ropes of how to be a medic. I mean, I'd learned about healing techniques from Master Yaddle and the files in the archives, but I still didn't know how to APPLY any of them, so this medic was showing me how to do it- she's really nice, too! I'll bring you along one day so you can meet her, 'n maybe you ken help in the nurs'ry or sum'in- but anyhow, I was working a shift from standard nine-hundred hours until standard seven-hundred hours everyday. 

"So, that day, there was someone in the emergency operation room, so I followed her there- someone had gotten hit by a hovercar and there was blood everywhere, so it was pretty urgent... Oh, sorry, I forgot that kinda stuff made you sick- and all the other medics on the surgery staff were in there, but wasn't stopping it, and so they kept getting more bacta and more stitches and more gauze and bandages and sponges, but it jes' wouldn't stop.

"Anyhow, the medic I was following around had just been called in to relay them bacta and swabs, but it just wasn't doing any good, so- Ooh, it was so cool, I wish you coulda ben' 'ere- I don't know what it was, but somethin' was just telling me to do it, so I put my hand on the body and before the medics could slap me away, I concentrated, and... it stopped. It was like... I had just imagined whatever it was inside this guy that was bleeding... I jest imagined it sealing up, and... the bleeding stopped.

"I kept my hand on his body and kept focusing and eventually, he started breathin' again and looking a normal color- another medic had already put this weird needle into his body which hooked up to a blood supply, it's called an 'IV', I think- stands for 'Intra Venous' or something like that- and eventually he woke up. None of the other medics could figure out what the fuck had gone wrong, but, for some weird reason I just KNEW...

"...I thought you were grossed out by stuff like this, why 'jyou wanna KNOW what it was?

"Oh, fine- What had happened was this guy's liver had been hit when the hovercar crashed into him- the liver is something in our stomachs that stops poisons from hurting us and takes care of our food after it leaves our stomach so the stomach acid doesn't burn our intestines out, but it's got a lot of blood vessels in it, so if they rupture, bad stuff happens- but his liver hadn't been punctured or nothing. It was like a balloon filled with a lot of other, smaller balloons, and those smaller balloons on the inside were filled with water and had burst, but the big balloon on the outside hadn't, so the medics couldn't figure out where the hell all the bleeding was coming from.

"Well, in any case, the medics were all pretty peeved that I'd figured it out and healed the guy- I mean, these are the top physicians in their field and they've been doing stuff like this for years, and suddenly this ten-year-old brat shows up and starts doing their jobs even better than them, you'd be pretty damn pissed too, right?- But everyone figured that it had to be just lucky or coincidence that I'd managed it- No, this is where it's REALLY interesting!

"So, all day, I stayed in the operating rooms, with the medic playing Fetch-and-Carry girl all day. But, after that first incident, she didn't even need to do it, because I kept going in and fixing up everything without even getting blood on my hands- there was this one woman whose kidneys didn't work, so she needed a transplant, but the problem was that her kidney's tubes were all blocked by these little crusty things called Kidney stones, so once they were out of there, she was fine. Then, there was someone whose arteries were all clogged up and they were going to do surgery to expand his arteries so blood could flow through them the same as before- I think that kind of thing is really stupid, I mean, that's what natural selection is all about: the strong and smart survive and the stupid and weak don't get to live to pass on their polluted genes, and it was that guy's own damn fault he got his arteries clogged in the first place- but I got out the stuff that was clogging them up and they didn't even need to use the balloon thingie.

"Oh MAN, were those other medics pissed. But, they couldn't do anything, because it was for the patients that I was doing it. Even the medic who had been teaching me how to do stuff was surprised- but then again, I guess I'd never been so good in the med center. I guess surgery is just what I hit my stride in. Anyhow, the medic decided to keep me in the surgery rooms and hone my skills in there- it was kinda weird to do, since the patients would keep staring at me an' everything, but I got over it pretty well, I think. I mean, I even managed to do an appendix removal, and I didn't even need a scalpel, even if I did get some blood over the place, since I had to open the guy up so I could get it OUT...

"Wha?... No, this wasn't all in one afternoon- this took months. And by then, I'd passed the medical exam and gotten my license, so I'm doing all this stuff on my own, now...

"...

"...Three, I think. But I had my license af'er two, and still had to stick around with the medic for 'while 'fore I had enough experience to move up on my own.

"...

"...What was**THAT** look for?"

* * *

"So, I took the exam after two months- man it was hard. I mean, seriously, I haven't seen anything so tough in YEARS! There was, like, this one sim-prob that had you remove a guy's kidney, except you find out halfway through the operation that he ISN'T a Human, so you have to adjust the operation so you don't kill him, then his blood won't clot when you patch him up, it was... it was fuckin' WEIRD! 

"...NO- I DIDN'T pass: I failed MISERABLY and was told by the admins not to come back and left the medical practice forever. Oh, and I saw a pig fly by the window as I left the building. OF COURSE I passed! Duh- what'd you think?

"...Okay, don't answer that.

"Anyhoo, I got that out of the way, an' the next day, I saw the director of the hospital, and he was all red in the face an' blustery an' all How-the-kriff-did-you-pass-the-damn-thing? But he couldn't say nuttin', 'cuz the Chancellor had wanted me to be a medic, so he had to sign the employment papers. MAN, was he pissed.

"So, that's how I got to be employed, an' I'm earning a salary as an on-call surgeon. 'Course, there are days when I have nothing to do, so I do other stuff, like work in the lab, or fill prescriptions, or do examinations on patients... and when I'm there, at the medcenter, I can get to the ER faster, 'cuz there are always other medics available to take over when I have to leave.

"...It's enough that we'll survive- don't worry about anything el-

"...Trike, d'you REALLY think that EITHER of us will live to retirement, given my propensity for pissing people off and your tendency to get into dangerous situations that look like you've killed someone? Didn't think so... so why save for a retirement that's never gon' happen?

"My point, exactly.

* * *

"Well, since I had a job, at last, I decided it was time to find a good place to live. I didn't want a place too high in price, 'cuz if the Chancellor poked his nose in again and had me fired, I didn't want to go from a three-bedroom, two private baths, and a butler to having to be on the streets. Hence, we're in this room, where the lan'lord ain't gonna be too pissed if a month is bad and I can't make rent until next month. 

"So, to be sure I'd get a good deal, I took one of the books I used to have- it was one about Theology, so it was completely useless and stupid, anyway- and I found a vendor who wanted antiques. Got a credible credit, for it, too. I'm not kidding- just one of those books, and I could put down a year's lease on this apartment, and get some second-hand crap to go in it; water-heater, timepiece, food-cooler... jes' the stuff that we'll need.

"...Where'd all these other books come from? Master Retaw took them from m'parent's house- when we first ran away, I told her I wanted to take as many of these books as I could, since Toh-Ma and Kaa-Oh were always nasty to me. Kinda like a fee for being shitty parents. She took as many as she could fit in the ship, because I had the feeling I might need them for an emergency like this, and Master Retaw could feel it, too.

"In any case, I got this place, and the old man downstairs kinda acted weird... started asking how I was gonna make rent an' everythin' and I told him,

"'I'm a medic, sir. I'll make plenty of money, but I want to be careful, just in case.' An' he gave me this look- I know he didn' believe me, but I didn' say nothin', till he finally asked,

"'What're your clientèle?' Which confused the HELL outta me, so I told him,

"'Anybody who comes into the emergency room, sir- from men needing heart surgery, to kids who got hit by hovercars.' And he kept staring at me, then snorted,

"'And you haven't gotten any diseases?' But since I was giving him the money, he let me sign, but he keeps coming in all the time withou-

"...HE THINKS I'M A WHAT?

"...

"...Trike... it might be in your better interests to pretend I never told you that story- the patrols might question you if a dead body shows up on the streets t'marra mornin'...

"...

"Don't you 'Kenda-a' me!

* * *

"After I took care of the whole apartment mess- I moved in all these books one by one from where Master Retaw had helped me hide them in the room I was in, so that's why you never saw them- the Council wanted to see me. Again. 

"...Just so you understand, this was yesterday... so, it was after a while that the Council wanted to lecture me... say... six months?

"...Now that you mention it, you were awake when it happened... maybe that other you was the one in control, since you didn't kick up much of a fuss about being taken from confinement...

"Well, I'll tell you that when I get there. Master Windu was looking all serious and mad when I got there, and the rest of the Council was pretty peeved too. See, before I could take the exam, the Chancellor had asked me if, once I passed the exam, I would be willing to be a medic on the front lines, since there's apparently a war going on. You can pretty much guess what I said to that, but it made me think- why did he want ME to be on the front lines? There are more medics, much more advanced than me, and with better experience, and I've mostly treated accidents, maybe some crime wounds, but NOTHING like a soldier would be facing.

"Then, it occurred to me- he hadn't been too happy when YOU showed up, and the few times I saw him, I REALLY despised him, for some reason... just something about the guy doesn't come off as being trustworthy. In any case, if I was on the front lines, who would be around to kick ass if he tried to do something to YOU? And if I was gone, what if he pulled some kind of stunt on the Jedi?

"...Bingo- he was trying to get me out of the way. And putting me on the front lines... well, not only would that get me out of his hair, but I'd probably get squashed. He wouldn't even have to cover up a death- I'd be a war casualty, and out of his way for good.

"...Yes, this DOES have something to do with the story.

"I got to the Council room, and everyone was mad and shit- even Master Yoda wouldn't look me in the eye, he kept looking to the other Masters, or keeping his eyes closed like he was meditating. Then, Master Windu said something,

"'Padawan Orewahime, it has come to the attention of the Council that you have made some significant advances as a medical student.'

"Well, I didn't know where he was going with this, so I just shrugged. He continued,

"'Specifically, you have gone ahead of the Council and found work at a medcenter- with pay, too.' And since I had, and I didn't see anything wrong with it, I just kept shrugging.

"'This isn't something the Council likes to do, but have you been selected by a second Master?' Another Master asked, and since I was already pretty miffed with them, anyway, I pretty much just gave him The Finger. You can bet nobody was too proud of me for tha- The Finger... You know, when you raise your middle finger at someone... It's pretty much the sign language equivalent of saying 'Up yours' or 'Fuck you'.

"...Yeah, they were BOILING mad at that point. But Master Yoda had to muffle a snicker and I heard Master Billaba sigh, so I figure THEY weren't TOO mad at me. Anyhoo, Master Windu continued to talk, but I mostly ignored him, until he said,

"'The Chancellor has asked us to assign you a mission.'

"...

"Three guesses what that mission was. The first two don't count.

"Yeah: 'Padawan Orewahime, you have been asked to accompany a unit of clone troops to-' ...to... to... Aw, hell, I forget where it was s'posed ta be... Oh, wait- he never said, 'cuz I interrupted him- Yep! To be exact, I said,

"'To Hell. 'Cept, guess what- I'm not goin' ta Hell, even if old Crazy Eyes is. Nope- fer one thing, I'm not gon' die, yet, an' fer another, I'm goin' ta Heaven when I DO.' And, I'll admit, this wasn't one of my shinin' moments of wit, since the whole Council was giving me this WEIRDASS look like Have-you-lost-your-mind? But I kept goin', 'Tell Palpy that he can stick that order up his ass- I'm not goin' inta a war.'

"Well, you can guess they weren't too happy to hear me say that, but I think it was more my language than anythin'. In any case, Master Windu gets all high and mighty and demands,

"'The Council does not like to listen to the Chancellor on matters like this, but we must agree with him, that soldiers on the front line will need you- You will do as you are told.' Well, me being me, that din' sit too well.

"'Yeah- I'll bet it would be awfully convenient for you to get rid of me, too.' And the whole Council just STARED at me, this kind of total shock, 'This isn't about the soldiers or the war- you're just using it as an excuse to get rid of me, since I'm just a thorn in your side. You know- the same way you used the incident with the Baron as an excuse to get rid of Master Retaw, because she was causing you problems.' Man, you should've... well, okay, maybe you SHOULDN'TVE, but Master Windu's face was so funny, in a kinda Oh-God-I-just-said-the-wrong-thing-and-now-he's-gonna-fucking-kill-me sorta way, so I decided it was time to use the technique that Master Yoda an' me developed...

"Trike, you gotta listen, this is the best part!

"Ya ready? Okay, well, Master Windu had actually gotten outta his CHAIR and was sorta glaring down at me, tryin' ta make me feel all small an' scared an' shit, so I used the technique... I put my hands together, an' concentrated, and for a moment, there was this kinda explosion- it was an illusion, not a real explosion, mostly so that he wouldn't see what I was doin' until the smoke cleared- and I heard a few Master's draw their lightsabers, just in case I was gonna pull some kinda attack on their sorry asses... But the smoke clears... and... Master Windu actually froze... I mean, really, he went RED, and put a hand over his mouth and plugged his nose, he even walked BACKWARDS...

"Because... the super-secret, Knock-Out Illusion that Master Yoda helped me create is really just me using one of those disguise illusions- you know, where you change your appearance to look like someone else's... but I disguised myself as a naked Master Retaw... and she was posing all sexy an' everythin' and winking at Master Windu... DAMN, he was so EMBARRASSED... I wish I had a picture.

"Well... everyone else in the Council is just STARING at this, probably because they're all shocked I would DO something like that, but it's enough that I undo the illusion and make a run for it, and they don't even move until I'm out the door.

"By this time, one of the Master's has regained her senses- yeah, it was a girl, because only a girl would grab another girl by her hair, since that's what she did- she reaches after me as I'm about to make a jump down the halls, and gets my braid... well, it hurts like a sonofabitch, so, my legs still straining to run, I pull out the first thing I had on hand- Lucky for me it was scissors- and I snap my hair off, completely. I mean, I didn't even have the thing that held my hair UP, an' I'll bet you can see that from how my hair is right now.

"So, I keep going, running like there's a fucking Sith hound after me, I jump down the elevator shaft, get to the floor where all the Sith containment cells are- and, by no coincidence, where YOU are- give the two troops outside the door a swift kick that gets them down for the count, break the window, pull you out- and that other you was sorta waiting for me, 'cuz he pretty much jumped out 'steada bein' pulled an' jus' got on ma back- then I beat it the hell outta there, with a Master or two on my heels, bust a window in the entrance hall, jump through the rooftops, and disappear inta the crowd.

"An' don't look at me like that- I've always been good at hiding in the Force, right up to the point that sometimes, not even Master Retaw could find me in it. We're safe here, and, even better, its our own home, our own rules, and that's all we need."

* * *

Triclops was silent, not knowing how to take the whole year of information that Kendalina had heaped on his head. Finally, he shook his head, burying it in his hands. 

"...Kenda..." He whimpered, quietly. Kendalina put a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched away, curling up into a ball.

"Trike? W'a's wrong? You feelin' sick?"

Triclops shook his head, still pulling away.

"Kenda... how could you?" He whispered. Kendalina made a noise that would have been funny if Triclops wasn't so distraught.

"How could I WHAT? I didn' do nothin' BAD!"

Triclops shook his head and wished Kendalina could understand.

* * *

Mace Windu allowed a passing glance at the window Padawan Orewahime had broken on her way out, not just a day ago. It had been covered with something to keep the wind out, but it's very presence, the fact that a day ago, the wind had been whistling across it and making a noise like a howl of despair seemed to make an echoing silence inside the Temple. 

Mace, as well as the other Masters who were with him, all staring at the window, sighed and turned away, walking through the entrance hall, solemn and silent.

"I now fear that things will be even worse." Mace, finally said, grimly, "Padawan Orewahime is far too young and untrained to be on her own- and her temperament and impatience could lead to her ruin or fall to the Dark Side."

Several other members sighed, acknowledging the sad situation, but saying nothing until Mace felt a slight tug through the Force and turned around. Depa Billaba had stopped and was staring back, over her shoulder, at the entrance, as though pondering something that no one else could see.

"Do you truly believe she will turn?" Depa finally asked, turning around again, and the other Council members stopped to see this uncharacteristic outspokenness of Depa, whom was usually reserved, especially towards himself, "Padawan Orewahime is not like the other padawans or younglings here, and there is something very different about her destiny."

The Council stopped and stared.

"I don not say this as a fond acknowledgment, since she is- I agree- far too ill-tempered, impatient, and rash. However, there are other aspects of her personality that cannot be dismissed. For one, Padawan Orewahime is deliberately controversial- she desires too much to be independent and unique to ever succumb to the ways of the Sith, simply because it has been done before. For another, she is stubborn and wild, and would never let herself be tamed, unless it was on her own terms."

Some of the other members of the Council seemed to concede to this point.

"There is, of course, the fact that Padawan Orewhime left the Order out of devotion to the former Knight who had been her teacher." Ki-Adi-Mundi, whom had never known Padawan Orewahime very well, admitted, "And she took with her, a prisoner whom she has been with since childhood. Do you suggest that she would want to honor their wishes for her destiny?" Before Depa could reply, Mace sternly interrupted,

"Sentimentality is NOT the way to solve this, nor is it acceptable for a Jedi."

"But it IS how Padawan Orewahime judges her situations." Depa argued, in a similar stern voice, "And I do believe that she would use that attachment to keep to the Light. That sentimentality is something that Padawan Orewahime refused to give up- neither for the Jedi, nor for the Sith, and I believe she would remain loyal to the Order for that emotional bond, if not for her own pride to live on, knowing she had never betrayed the Jedi like that."

Master Yoda was silent through all of this, before he spoke,

"An unusual bond with the Force, Padawan Orewahime has forged. Different from one that any of us has ever had." All eyes turned to him, questioning, before Master Yoda explained, "A mutual connection, she shares. Her ally is the Force... and the Force's ally, she is. They are one, and only the will of the Force, will she obey- not the way of the Jedi, or of the Sith, or of any other living being that claims to be the voice of the Force."

"She is still arrogant, Master Yoda." Ki-Adi-Mundi put in, almost shocked at what Master Yoda had just said, "Always convinced that her way is the right way, headstrong, rebellious, trying to force the world to change to suit her instead of changing herself to suit the world."

Master Yoda's expression looked pained for a moment, and as all the other Master's hung their heads, he glanced up at the solemn face carved in stone that gazed, unyielding, almost like a challenge, down on them from one of the statues that lined the entrance hall.

"Much like another padawan, not so long ago, it seems..." Master Yoda finally said, hobbling away with his stick, "A shame... that Obi-Wan never got to know her..."

* * *

The sun set and the face of an old Jedi long past and one with the Force was lit up with the gleaming light of the moon that rose as he watched over the Temple.

* * *

"Kenda... I can not do it, anymore..." Triclops whispered, once he'd recovered from his spasm. Kendalina had returned to her book, chewing on whatever the stick was. She was completely silent for a long time, that Triclops thought she might be ignoring him, before she spoke, but carefully. 

"Sure you can. You just have to learn how to do it differently." Triclops didn't look up, but Kendalina kept talking, "Triclops, I can't do this on my own."

Triclops' head snapped up, wondering if he'd heard Kendalina properly.

"I can't live on my own, I can't become the Greatest Jedi Ever on my own, and what I'm planning to do, I need help for. Triclops... I need you to help me with this." Kendalina's voice wasn't strained, but Triclops could tell it was difficult for her to say this- maybe because she was using his full name, or because she was admitting that she wasn't all powerful and strong, but he could tell.

Triclops sat, silently, for a moment, before he spoke again.

"What is it that you plan to do?"

Kendalina stood up, and gave Triclops a serious look over her shoulder.

"Master Retaw always said that if it was for me, she could do anything. Then, when you came along, and started to become important to the both of us, if it was for me or you, she could do anything. But... there was one thing she COULDN'T do... and that was defy the Council."

Triclops remained silent, waiting for where Kendalina was going with this.

"I can't run away, or be scared all the time, or be a crybaby anymore. And I can't ask you to do what I'm about to do. But... I need you... to cry for me when I can't... to be there for me to hold when I'm not being strong enough... to refuse to fight. Because now, since Master Retaw can no longer say that she can do anything for me, I have to be the one who, if it's for my Master, I can do anything."

Triclops opened his mouth, then closed it, then got to his feet, walked numbly over to Kendalina, and clung to her.

"Now, it's our turn."

A/N: Yeah... when Kendalina's not being professional, (And even then, sometimes) she has a pretty nasty mouth and atrocious grammar. I've also decided that she's got a Southern Belle kinda accent- Supposedly, a Correllian accent, but since I've always seen Correllia to be parallel to the Osaka district of Japan (Since a lot of Star Wars was based on Japanese culture) and Osaka is usually compared to the South of the U.S... Correllia Southwest. shrug

Oh, and guess whose statue the Masters were talking in the shadow of in that one part. It's kinda subtle, but I think it needed to be included.


	19. Part III: Chapter 3

By Sapadu

Chapter 3: Rent

rent /rɛnt/ Pronunciation Key - [rent

–noun

1. a payment made periodically by a tenant to a landlord in return for the use of land, a building, an apartment, an office, or other property

3. Economics. the excess of the produce or return yielded by a given piece of cultivated land over the cost of production; the yield from a piece of land or real estate

4. profit or return derived from any differential advantage in production

5. an opening made by rending or tearing; slit; fissure

6. a breach of relations or union between individuals or groups; schism

–verb (used with object)

6. to grant the possession and enjoyment of (property, machinery, etc.) in return for the payment of rent from the tenant or lessee. (often fol. by _out_)

7. to take and hold (property, machinery, etc.) in return for the payment of rent to the landlord or owner

–verb (used without object)

8. to be leased or let for rent

10. to take possession of and use property by paying rent

11. pt. and pp. of rend

The first endeavor out of the apartment for Triclops was to the fresher and toilet down the hall- their apartment didn't have one of their own, but shared it with the rest of the floor. There were several stalls of waste disposal, but each smelled utterly putrid- far worse than Triclops could ever remember experiencing. His memories were slowly returning, enough that he had a thorough image of his life as merchandise on the Slave Trafficking market, and it was enough to assure him that he'd never smelled anything as horrible as this.

Kendalina said it was just because nobody cleaned them regularly, and because there were several non-Human species on the same floor as them with different sanitary needs, that was responsible for the disturbing odors.

Triclops said that he didn't care what was CAUSING it- he wasn't going to wash in a room that wasn't clean, itself.

As such, Triclops' next endeavor out of the apartment was with Kendalina on her next day off to do some necessary shopping- they needed food, civilian clothes, and hygiene products, if they were going to survive on their own.

Triclops easily fit into most of the shirts and pants that Kendalina found for him, but couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't 'Seeing' color properly for some reason- almost everything was black, white, or some shade of brown or tan, as though Kendalina didn't trust any of the more vivid colors. Not trusting his luck, Triclops only picked a pair of black and a pair of tan pants and a black shirt, and Kendalina found herself two more bodysuits like the one she was wearing.

After a great deal of Kendalina rudely informing several salespeople about their ancestors' questionable breeding habits with assorted barnyard animals when they tried to 'Help', and Triclops bowing and apologizing to passerby who either led away their children or gave disapproving looks, she finally allowed a few colored garments into the bag- mostly shirts of dark shades of red, green, and blue for Triclops, and a single shirt for herself in a strange wine color and a pair of business slacks in navy blue.

"Lessee... what else 'm I gon' need?" Kendalina finally paused, nearby the boots section, but before she could look closer at a pair that Triclops could see were steel-tipped at the toe, he pulled her back to the woman's section.

"You need a black dress- just in case you need to look professional for a meeting or something." Triclops said, firmly, even as he prepared to duck and cover at the impending explosion that would come from this statement.

For the first time in Triclops' life, he thought Kendalina was going to strike him, as her face went red.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" She quite bluntly shouted, but Triclops stopped her before she could go off on a tangent by finding a very neutral dress that could have been a shirt if it had been cut shorter.

"You never know- if you have to show up for a meeting or an appointment or something formal like that, you will look bad showing up in men's clothes and then you will lose your position, and it will not be the Chancellor's fault." Triclops insisted, hoping that Kendalina would at least accept it, even if she detested it.

Kendalina's glare didn't waver, but she said nothing, as though inwardly cursing him for being so damn right, before she finally said,

"Okay- but you gotta put one of the shirts back. And I mean one of the colored ones."

Triclops accepted the demand- he'd only picked out the crimson shirt to bargain with in the beginning, anyway.

In the personal hygiene department, Triclops dutifully held the basket as Kendalina threw in a hairbrush, tooth-cleaner, headsoap, bodysoap and a razor in, then took a few more bars of soap once her back was turned- he had no intention of letting the freshers and toilets smell the way they did if there was something to be done about it.

Kendalina chose the food without listening to Triclops' arguments- most of it was cheap QuickMeals with very little nutritional value, and she outright refused to buy nutrient paste or energy pudding. Triclops had to fight to have fresh vegetables and dried fruit added to the basket, but Kendalina made it difficult by waving the budget under his nose and pointing to the price labels.

Triclops eventually settled for just one packet of freeze-dried berries and a bag of beans, but privately vowed that if he could ever get a job like Kendalina, absolutely all of his money would go to the farm-grown treats- and considering how much, at the Temple, he'd despised beans, this was quite a vow.

It was on their way home that Triclops understood why Kendalina was wandering around without shoes.

A man came darting out of the crowd and attempted to grab one of their bags and make off with it. As it was, however, Kendalina yanked him back and gave him a swift kick in the gut that made him cripple over.

Several minutes later, the would-be thief ran off with a tube of nerfspread that Kendalina had deemed 'We can get along without' and a few bruises in the shape of Kendalina's feet.

"Do your legs not ache from doing all that kicking on top of walking all day?" Triclops asked as they returned to their apartment. Kendalina lifted one leg and used her toes to hold the key and run it through the lock, then press the button that allowed them in.

"If I damage my hands by throwing a punch, I can't do surgery anymore. I need to be careful, so I've been building up my legs for stuff like this. I can even use the Force to manipulate my feet to work so I can use them like hands in emergencies." Kendalina explained, setting down the bags, then sitting cross-legged and rummaging through their purchases with, indeed, her feet instead of her hands.

Out of the bag game a long, plain, brown coat with a hood, one that almost looked like the brown robe of the Jedi Master's. Triclops stared, then frowned- it was too long for either of them, but who COULD it be for?

"Kenda..."

"It's Master Retaw's. She never got a brown robe, so when we find her, she's gon' get one." Kendalina explained before Triclops even got the words out of his mouth. She continued to rummage through the bag, eventually finding a large shirt that was also in brown and a pair of pants, putting them with the robe and carefully folding them to hide at the bottom of the box.

Triclops said nothing, but made a second promise that if he ever had any money of his own, the first thing he would get would be either a pair of shoes to go with the clothes, or a belt for Master Retaw.

* * *

The next morning, Triclops found himself alone in the apartment as Kendalina had left for her day. Without a noise, he pulled himself up and proceeded to sit there, staring at the door, wondering what he was supposed to do. Kendalina was working and earning money- but she had been specially given permission by the Chancellor and was a former student of the Jedi Healer, Master Yaddle. Who WOULDN'T take her on? 

Whereas he, Triclops, was mostly an overgrown child with no real skills that he could use to find work. Furthermore, he had no real education, no parents, not even a birth certificate with a real name on it. He was thirteen years old, but even then, he didn't know when his birthday was, so, for all he knew, he could be turning fourteen that very day, and looked like he was almost seventeen, but even then, he had always been reported as a suspicious character, anyway...

Triclops lay back down, staring at the ceiling, and stayed that way for a long time.

What was he going to DO? How? Could he even help at all? Would anybody even hire him? Maybe even for domestic work, like lifting heavy loads or cleaning houses...

No... there was still the problem that he was underage with no legal documentation. And the fact that he looked like a complete freak was enough that even if he managed to find some way around the legalities, nobody in their right mind would think he was trustworthy enough to hire because his face was so disfigured.

His reverie was interrupted as the door came slamming open and a head poked in. Triclops didn't turn to look at it, but he heard a man's voice demand,

"What the hell are YOU doing here?" Triclops' gaze at the ceiling didn't waver- he was suddenly very interested in a crack that looked almost like a rabbit's head.

"Doing? I am staring at the ceiling." He replied, truthfully. A face that could, quite possibly, be described as even uglier than his own, came into view above him.

"Who are you? One of her 'Patients'?" Oh, so it was the landlord who had indirectly called Kendalina a whore, then...

"No. I am her roommate. If you have business with one of her patients, go to the medcenter." Triclops replied, shortly- for the first time, he found himself in a short temper, particularly with this man.

"Oh, I forgot- 'Medics' never bring 'Patients' to their home." The landlord turned to leave and Triclops felt... incredibly angry, for once. He wanted to hit this man- but not kill him. He wanted to smack him across the face and kick him in places generally undesirable for men to be hit and scream in his face with language that only Kendalina could get away with without stuttering.

What came out of his mouth was,

"She is not a prostitute." The landlord stopped in the door, then turned around and gave Triclops a strange look, before smirking and turning away again.

"You don't know that, little boy." His tone was dismissive, and it made Triclops even angrier, right to the point that he wanted to not just hit the man, but he wanted to beat his head in and squeeze his neck until it was just a few centimeters thick and kick him in the stomach until he was flat enough to use as a doormat.

Then, it occurred to him.

"Sir, Kendalina is not the prostitute- I am." The landlord froze in his spot, and Triclops held his breath for a moment before he crawled over to whisper in the man's ear- it was even with his mouth, even as Triclops was on all fours, "Why were you so interested? Were there any services you needed? A lot of my old customers just could not get what they needed from their wives. Though, it would have to be a good price you offer to pull me out of retirement... Not to mention you would have to pay me something to keep me quiet- I do not believe any patrols would be happy to hear the owner of one of these apartments was molesting little boys..."

The landlord ran, leaving the door open with Triclops sitting in the frame, somewhat pleased with himself.

When Kendalina got back late in the day, Triclops had heated the leftovers of the QuickMeal she hadn't finished that morning for breakfast and informed her that a dead body would not be necessary.

"The landlord will not bother you anymore."

Kendalina knew- he'd said so, himself- before she told Triclops she wanted him to come with her on her shift that night a the medcenter.

"It's a surprise." Was all she said when Triclops asked why.

* * *

"I am very grateful that you would offer to let me help, Madam, but I think it would be best if I declined." Triclops said, when Kendalina left him with the medic as she went to the pharmaceuticals to fill a few prescriptions. The woman in charge of the maternity ward- particularly the nursery where they kept the children who'd just been born but hadn't yet been measured, weighed, or tested for disease- was showing him through the facilities and explaining what had to be done to care for the infants. 

The medic gave him a peculiar look, then glanced back at the room Triclops was staring into through the window. Rows and rows of little newborns lay in box-like cradles, some different because of their species, and each with a little blanket of pale rose pink or sky blue, to easily tell apart the genders, and little data pads were attached to the ends of the cradles with pens to keep record of the progress of each.

Aside from those little bursts of pastel colors and the faces, hands, feet, and other appendages of the various skins, the whole room was completely white, almost glaring. There was a smell of medical alcohol and bacta and other various scents of a medcenter, but it mingled with a very faint smell of powder, dried milk, and clean laundry.

"Are you sure? Medic Orewahime told me that you happen to be very good with children. Infants are so young that none of them can focus their eyes, so I doubt your... nonconformity will bother them, as long as you're gentle and speak softly with them. And, while we wouldn't be able to hire you, per se, we could still pay you something, since we do need an extra hand with the feeding bottles and rocking them to sleep." The medic's tone was hopeful, almost even comforting, but Triclops didn't really hear it.

Triclops didn't look up- his eyes were still fixed firmly at the little ones behind the window, specifically on a little Human infant, whose eyes had just opened to reveal the biggest, bluest eyes that Triclops thought he would ever see. Kendalina had explained to him that, essentially, all Human's started off with blue eyes, unless their specific race had no blue in them, because of the time it took for pigments to develop, and all babies eyes seemed bigger than adults, because eyeballs were fully sized at the time of birth, and their skulls hadn't grown yet to make them look smaller.

It still didn't change the fact that this one baby was looking straight at him, and his eyes were enormous and very, very blue.

Triclops' cheeks went red, before he looked away, arms shaking somewhat and a hand coming up to cover his mouth to stop an impending squeal of glee that would have come out of his mouth, otherwise.

"...Thank you... but... I think it would be best... for THEIR safety... that I did not pick them up..."

The medic chuckled, low and deep in her throat.

"Medic Orewahime also told me about your tendency to collapse into spasms when you see something cute. None of these duties would involve picking them up long enough for that to be a danger. At most, you might have to take one out of a crib when it's crying and rock it to sleep- we've got a chair for that." Triclops' shaking stopped, or at least paused for a moment.

"...Really?" He asked, skeptically, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the medic. She grinned.

"Besides, that's what I thought when I became a mother. Then, at three hundred standard hours in the morning, when I was awakened by my first screaming diaper change, I quickly learned that babies are not all sweetness and cute. You'll get over it, too."

If Triclops could have seen the expression on his own face at that moment, he would have known that Kendalina would want a picture of it for future teasing.

* * *

"Kendalina..." Triclops' voice seemed very loud in the dark, quiet apartment. Kendalina was a light-sleeper, but a very ill-tempered beast to awaken, sometimes even making Triclops sleep with a pillow over his back in case an emergency call came from the medcenter in the middle of the night. 

Lucky for him she hadn't fallen asleep, yet.

"Nya?" He heard her voice respond. Kendalina never asked 'What is it?' or 'Yeah?' or anything a normal person would say- she made noises like that, which most other people wouldn't be able to understand if they had a decoder in their ears. Deep down, Triclops couldn't help but think of those people as 'Outsiders'- people outside of their bond, who didn't, couldn't, never would understand- but he would never admit it.

"Do you ever think about having kids?"

It was a loaded question, and Triclops knew it- Kendalina was very outspoken about women's rights, prompted with the way she and Master Retaw had been treated at the Temple. It had been subtle, but Kendalina was smart enough that she had spotted it immediately, in every turn of the other Masters, how their expressions would shift, ever so slightly, as soon as they saw it was Master Retaw or her talking to them instead of another man, or how they would casually brush off suggestions from the female Knights, only to gladly accept them if Master Yoda or some other member of the Master's order would suggest them.

But, after working in the nursery for a while- Triclops had never been good at keeping time, so it only seemed like a matter of weeks, when, actually, Kendalina had informed him that it had been several months- Triclops couldn't help but wonder whether Kendalina, or he, would ever have babies of their own.

Kendalina didn't reply for a long time, but Triclops heard a shift that told him that Kendalina was sitting up. One of Kendalina's toes touched his shoulder and Triclops opened his third eye to see Kendalina looking down at him with a very peculiar expression, similar to if Triclops' question had somehow hit her over the head with something blunt and heavy.

"...I've never really thought about it..." She finally said, quietly. Triclops rolled over to see Kendalina with his forefront eyes- He supposed that, since a single eye in the back of his head had no depth perception, it changed when he looked with his two forward eyes, and that seemed to make a difference in what he saw in Kendalina's face.

Her eyes were misted over, but not from something like tears. It was as though a curtain of melted glass or oily sheen had fallen before them, closing Kendalina off from the outside world. Kendalina voice even sounded distant- like the Kendalina he knew was retreating into a shell that was far away from the world.

Away from him.

Triclops sat up, and Kendalina jumped, as his movement had apparently jerked her back to reality. That old familiar, boisterous grin spread across her face.

"Ac'lly, I think I'll PASS on havin' kids- I'd suck ass as a mom!" She informed Triclops, with an overly enthusiastic lilt in her voice that almost sounded strained, "Bu' don' worry- If I eva do have kids, you can always come over and play wid'em. They'll need a Jii Trike to spoil them when I'm not 'round."

Kendalina flopped over and lay back down, folding up her arms behind her head and turning her head to look the other way. Triclops remained upright, staring down at Kendalina and feeling a very odd heat rise in his cheeks and ears.

He'd never noticed until now, but Kendalina wore very little to bed- a shirt that fit to her chest and very brief pants that exposed more skin on her legs and hips than they covered. Maybe it was because they always slept back to back, but Triclops had never seen exactly what Kendalina's BODY looked like.

Her arms were slim, compared to a grown man's, but heavy for an eleven-year-old and thick with biceps, triceps, and brachia, meeting her shoulder with powerful shoulder muscles, and the undersides thick with curly hair. Her abdomen was smooth, but taut with muscles beneath the skin that could crush empty cans if she wrapped herself around them. Her face was boyishly shaped, but easily melted into smiles that were radiant and sunny, and her breasts melted flat as she lay on her back, and were replaced by the bulging pectorals on her chest.

Indeed, Kendalina did not look very feminine, even in clothes such as this, with the lack of curve in her bust, the firmness of her chest and belly, and how her hips were just the littlest bit wider, but not even round.

Kendalina's most prominent feature, however, was her legs- even though she was short, her legs were long and powerful. Triclops could see the biceps in her thighs, as though they were straining against her skin, battling with the rest of her legs to pop out. Her knees were slim, giving her legs all the curve that her body lacked, but the underside was also hard with muscle and sinew. Kendalina's calves were fat and sagged in their rested state, but Triclops knew that they also held an amazing amount of power and strength, hidden in those muscles, under all the dark, smooth hair that Kendalina had refused to shave off.

Her ankles were also slender, but her feet were huge, also bulging with muscles, and chaffed at the heel and pad, the way that hands, palms, and fingers were from their daily use. If Triclops didn't know any better, he'd say that Kendalina had been lifting weights with her legs.

Triclops had never been a person to judge women's bodies- perhaps because all his conscious up-bringing had been done by the staunch, celibate Jedi Order, or possibly because he'd never really seen a woman's body before like this- but the thought occurred to him that, if Kendalina ever DID have children, what would happen to HER?

For one, there were the medical implications that pregnancy brought- she wouldn't be able to run or jump or kick or... or ANYTHING, except walk slowly and maybe sit around all day. These firm, powerful, perfect muscles of her would dystrophy, and this belly of hers would expand so that she wouldn't even be able to fit into the small spaces she could, now, while she'd grow tired and need to eat more than ever before labor came, which, in and of itself, would be a long, painful ordeal.

But, more than that, it would mean... someone... someone would have to... with her... Someone would have to TOUCH her and... well, Triclops knew well enough what sex was about, but it made him wonder: if someone ever DID... make Kendalina pregnant... would they even let her have a choice in it? Would they be kind and gentle and do something that stories called 'Making love'? Or would it be more like HIS experiences, where Kendalina's voice wouldn't matter, where they would hold her down and tie her up and beat her if she didn't pleasure them as they wanted?

Triclops shuddered as the mental image came to mind of some faceless stranger, at least three times bigger than Kendalina, twisting her arms behind her back and doing the things that he remembered in his nightmares while Kendalina screamed and cried.

But then, a second image came to him- one of the first scenario, where the room was lit with candles, flower petals were spread over the bedsheets, and that faceless stranger was holding Kendalina, gently, kissing her and touching her with a featherlight brush, and Kendalina was smiling in fulfilled joy and contentment, kissing and touching back...

In both his visions, Kendalina wasn't even a little bit older than she was now.

And it was even worse. Triclops felt... upset... picturing the second scenario, and he could not, for the life of him, figure out why.

She'd offered to let him be a Jii... did that mean an Uncle?... and let him come over and see the children when he wanted... and visit her...

Wasn't that enough?

* * *

"Guess what day it is!" Kendalina's voice awoke Triclops the next morning, long before it was time for either of them to be at the medcenter. Triclops rolled over and covered his head with a pillow, wanting to sleep in, but Kendalina would not be denied the pleasure of making her roommate squirm. 

Kendalina prodded him with her foot- it was sharp enough that it stung, but not hard enough to be called a kick.

"Trike! Get up! Get up and guess what day it is!" Her voice didn't fade, even as Triclops covered his ears. He buried himself under the blankets even further.

"D'nda. Leeme'lone." Triclops mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow and blankets.

Kendalina's feet kept prodding him.

"Actually, it's Katunda, not Datunda, but that's not what I meant."

Triclops went to the next logical possibility.

"Pr'd'ct'vty Day. G'way."

Kendalina paused, but then continued poking.

"Well, if we were in the Tapani Sector, it WOULD be Productivity Day, yeah- but that's not what I was talking about, either."

Triclops growled a little and tried to squirm away. Kendalina brought her foot down and hit him in the stomach with her heel hard enough that Triclops was quite awake.

Triclops was never a morning person- to be frank, he was difficult to awaken early, and on the occasions that someone would get him awake early, or possibly up and out of bed, Triclops would go back to sleep within minutes, sometimes even seconds, whether it was still in bed or in his food plate.

It was thus that nobody had ever seen Triclops' true self early in the morning. Not even Kendalina. So, in that respect, it was quite unexpected when Triclops staggered to his feet, fully awake, and gave Kendalina the Evil Eye.

"What is so God-awful important that you could not let me sleep?" Triclops asked, voice low, quiet, and terrible, and because he was using his normal grammar quirk of never using contractions, Kendalina knew it WASN'T the scary alter-ego that had recently started coming out. For a moment, she recoiled, actually spooked, but then kicked Triclops, sending him back to the floor, where he promptly curled up again in a narcoleptic fashion.

Kendalina stared down at Triclops for a moment, then went to her own breakfast- she'd gotten a special treat the day before for this special day, but supposed Triclops would just eat his when he got up.

"Happy birthday to us... Happy birthday to us..." She muttered, almost sullenly, eating in solitude.

It was twelve years to the day that Master Retaw had come to the house of Zuka and met Kendalina, just after her birth, seven years to the day that Master Retaw had rescued her from that haunted house, and six years to the day that Master Retaw had brought her here, to the Temple.

With renewed determination, Kendalina left, not for her shift, but to make inquiries.

A/N: Done. Wow- that was quick... For those who didn't get it, in the last chapter, the Masters were arguing about Kendalina's fate while in the shadow of Qui-Gon Jinn. Also, I highly recommend everyone go and read the Paul and Hollace David's series- if not so you can understand some subtleties that go into this work, then for the literary quality. Seriously, they are so PACKED with symbolism, motifs, and references to classics such as Frankenstein and themes such as the Seven Deadly Sins. As a literature student, I enjoyed them.


	20. Part III: Chapter 4

By Sapadu

Chapter 4: Kin

kin /kɪn/ Pronunciation Key - [kin

–noun

1. a person's relatives collectively; kinfolk

2. family relationship or kinship

3. a group of persons descended from a common ancestor or constituting a family, clan, tribe, or race

4. a relative or kinsman

5. someone or something of the same or similar kind

–adjective

6. of the same family; related; akin

7. of the same kind or nature; having affinity

—Idiom

8. of kin, of the same family; related; akin

"I'm here, ladies." The voice went through the abandoned warehouse. About twenty or so heads turned, blasters coming out of sleeves and pockets before they saw who it was.

"'Bout time you got here, Doc." Snarled a woman with a shaved head who was bigger than all of them. She had scars on her breasts and a tattoo that was obviously a symbol of some kind, and in her hand was a large blaster cannon, "Half of my girls started gettin' some shitty disease and you take yer sweet ass pimp time GETTIN' here- I'm lucky they ain't dead."

"My NAME is Kendalina- not Doc." Kendalina snapped, "And 'M not here to put up wi' your crap- 'M jes' a medic doin' her job." With a crack of her knuckles, Kendalina sat down before the other women, who'd started to crawl out of their various holes in the room. Most had scars and various missing appendages that showed very little care for their injuries, but that was why Kendalina was here.

"Okay, first up, what're the symptoms?" Kendalina asked, examining one girl with her fingertips. The girl shuddered, but said nothing, and when Kendalina asked again, the girl gave her The Finger before she started to spasm.

"Was that an invitation, or an answer, dearie?" Kendalina asked, sarcastically, and the girl shot her a dirty look, but didn't reply.

"Sh's mu'- yew ain' geddin' nuffin' ou'a her." Said another woman, whose teeth were clamped together so tightly that she couldn't make out any 'Trill's clearly. Kendalina paused, then understood that, essentially, the girl she was asking wouldn't answer because she couldn't.

"Then YOU tell me what's goin' on." Kendalina said, irritably.

The woman with clenched teeth glared.

"We dunno- 's why YOU'RE 'ere." She hissed, but Kendalina paused in examining the spasming girl before her, turning to examine all the other women in a very passing manner, before her eyes went wide.

"Muscle spasms. You guys've all be'n tense or clenched up or move for no reason, righ'?" Kendalina asked, looking around. All the women being questioned gave each other raised eyebrows, but then nodded, reluctantly. Kendalina made a second pass around, examining a little more thoroughly, before she found small, puncturing wounds on all the women in question.

"You gotta get to a medcenter, an' quick." She said, in a panic, "Y'all been screwin' round with nails and shit, an' now y'all got all these puncture wounds. This is tetanus."

The woman who'd demanded Kendalina be there stood up- on her feet, Kendalina was barely up to her chest, which was large enough that if Kendalina's face was pushed into it, she could very easily be suffocated.

"They ain' goin' to no medcenter." She snapped, face dark. Kendalina got to her own feet and glared right back.

"Give me one good reason why not." She demanded, and the woman almost spat in her face.

"I say they ain't." The woman snapped back. Kendalina sneered and took it right up.

"Then I say tha's prob'ly the best reason they SHOULD- nobody here is immunized, an' if they don' get treated, it's not trea'ble." Kendalina retorted, standing her ground, but the woman's nostrils flared.

"Fine, then- see if I care if they keel over." She sneered.

"A min' 'go, you were COMPLAININ' 'cuz they might die if I wa'n't here." Kendalina said, loudly, but the woman scoffed.

"All've us would rather die than set a foot in some fuckin' medcenter." Kendalina felt her face grow hot.

"I happen to WORK in 'Some fuckin' medcenter.'" She reminded the woman, sharply. All the women around them were looking uncomfortable, but their leader laughed a barking, grating laugh in Kendalina's face- it smelled like smoke and oil.

"Ooh, you work there! Whaddya want- a prize?" That was it- Kendalina's foot had shot out before she could stop it and her bare heel hit the woman in the stomach, sending her to the floor with a crash.

"I ain' here ta put up with yer shit- I'm here 'cuz you asked me ta come an' check out your gang an' keep 'em healthy. I've told y'all what t'do- now, do it, or y'all gon' die." The woman got back to her feet, staring in perplexity that some punk had pushed her over like that, but she recovered in a minute.

"...Funny, but I remember somebody who was as strong as you, li'l girl." She said, in a quiet voice that sounded... oddly familiar, except not. It as as though someone had taken that familiar voice and added or taken something away from it so that the familiarity was there, but the voice itself was different.

"Oh r'ly?" Kendalina asked, noncommittally, before the woman threw something that Kendalina just barely caught in time. It was a lightsaber.

"How far'd you get with saber training? My big sister was okay, but never THAT good. But she had one hell of a punch, so nobody argued... I never thought she'd get an apprentice- I mean, she was such a baby, nobody would take her on as a Padawan... Me either, for that matter..."

Kendalina's eyes went wide, but she didn't have a chance to respond- the woman had lit her lightsaber and began an attack. Out of instinct, Kendalina snapped hers on and stopped the other blade just in time, but the unexpected force sent her to the floor, her pockets emptying as she hit the ground.

With a grunt, Kendalina spun around and parried the attacks that the woman sent her way, but paused as she heard a loud beeping coming from the comlink that had fallen out of her pouch.

Medic Orewahime, you are needed in the emergency room... Medic Orewahime, are you there?

"Shit." Kendalina cursed, but not able to find a way out of the fight long enough to make a run for it.

"Everyone get in a circle- don' let her out."

'Shit shit shit shit shit shit...' Kendalina wanted to scream, but kept dodging. This woman, even if she was Master Retaw's sister, was a plain old bitch, and good with a saber. Kendalina was okay- she knew that much- but she wasn't as good and it was going to catch up.

A few more blows were exchanged before Kendalina lunged on the offense.

She hardly even saw it coming when the woman pulled in another girl from the sidelines and used her as a shield. Kendalina dug in her heels, and pulled her lightsaber back, but the very tip of it sliced the girl's face, right over her right eye.

Kendalina froze, not even seeing the woman who was Master Retaw's sister come behind her with a raised saber.

And then, she kicked.

* * *

The body on the operating table was cold when Kendalina entered the room. There was only one other medic there, staring down at the body- it was still small, only one of the feet poking out from under the medical sheet that covered it. 

"Am I too late?" Kendalina asked, panicked. The medic attending looked up, then shook his head.

"We all were too late... She died on her way here." He said. Kendalina didn't even look at him, but strode over and pulled away the cover that was over the little head. A child of about six was under the sheet, dried blood forming lines down from the corners of her mouth and a large bloody indent on her forehead, as though something had hit it. Kendalina stared for a moment, before she ran her fingers over the lump, which had faded from the purplish brown that bruises normally were, but was still caked with specks of red blood, which had hardened in her dark hair.

Kendalina pulled the sheet away just a little more and saw a mark around her neck- not a bruise, but an indent. Scars. It was shaped like a hand, as though someone at least twice her size had wrapped their whole hand around her neck and twisted, collapsing the sinew in her neck and crushing the tubes of veins, arteries, esophagus, and windpipe, leaving a series of scars from the twisting.

"She was attacked..." Kendalina said, slowly and quietly. The medic with her started, then frowned, beginning to explain.

"No, I'm afraid you must be mistaken." He said, in a very sure tone of voice, "She was injured in an accident with a vehicle collision and the severe blood loss..."

"Sir, come over here and look at these marks on her neck." Kendalina's tone was commanding, and the effect was precise, "You don't get these in a crash accident."

The medic stared, but was struck quite speechless, before Kendalina spoke again.

"The guy who did this has big hands... and it looks like a crooked thumb, because the bruise on the other side of her neck is too short to have a properly extended thumb..." She noted, "Are her parents still here?" The question awoke the other medic from his daze.

"Yes, but I doubt they'll be able to answer- they're both completely distraught..." Kendalina's hearing stopped at that, but she kept a professional face.

'I'll bet they are.' She thought, bitterly, before she covered the girl's head again and strode out of the operating room, her bare feet slapping on the floor in irritation as she dragged the other medic out by the collar of his white coat, sending him to the maternity ward asking him to pass on a note to Triclops in the nursery.

Something in her middle was twisting- there was this sensation that was all too familiar, as though the Force was pressing a hot branding iron against the scars she carried on her heart. Apparently, this is what the phenomenon of deja vu was like- this sinking feeling that she was living through a repeat of something that had happened long ago.

The girl's parents were indeed still in the waiting room- the mother was doubled over and shaking, head buried in her hands and only garbled, unintelligible sounds coming from her throat, as though her grief was too great to be expressed in words, while the father was still standing, eyes closed and expression hard with one hand on his wife's shoulder.

It was so typical that it made Kendalina want to puke. As it was, she did not and stood straight to address the two.

"You two are the parents of the girl who just came in, right?"

The father gave her a dirty look.

"Yes, we are- why, do you need to tell us, again, that she's dead?"

Kendalina didn't rise to the bait.

"Your daughter was attacked by someone- there are marks on her neck that show someone had strangled her." She said, simply. The father snarled something impolite, while the mother remained silent.

"IS THIS HOW YOU ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES AROUND HERE?" He demanded, face red with fury, but Kendalina bit the inside of her cheek before continuing.

"I'm telling you this because, as her parents, you need to report this to the law enforcement. If the killer isn't caught, you might be putting yourselves and your neighbors in danger." Kendalina's voice raised so that she could be heard over the angry father, who was still screaming, as though determined to drown her out.

"Is this a sick joke? All three of us were in the collision- I saw my daughter's head smash into the seat ahead of her, my wife got a concussion, and I ruined my hand! Don't insult my intelligence."

Kendalina's glare intensified. There was something boiling inside of her, almost like a sickness of the stomach, except it raged through her whole torso. The world seemed to be doused in redness and black, and the father's face warped so it was no longer even recognizable as a living creature as he held up his damaged hand, displaying a very crooked thumb. For the longest of moments, Kendalina's teeth gnashed together, her canines clenching as she was seized with the urge to use them, preferably on the man's jugular vein.

"I'm not insulting your intelligence, sir. Your morals, perhaps; your ethics, maybe; your abilities to obey the law which decrees a father killing his daughter is a felony, definitely; but certainly not your INTELLIGENCE."

There was a silence, punctuated by the choked noises the mother made, before a siren could be heard in the distance, coming ever nearer.

* * *

"I should've been there..." Kendalina muttered, still in the room with the six-year-old. Surgery was still needed to make the body appropriate for the funeral. The mother's concussion had damaged part of her temporal lobe, but it had been mild enough that, once a medic had gotten her through a CAT scan, Kendalina had it fixed so she could give the law authorities a criminal report and very accurately identify her husband as the killer. 

Triclops said nothing, but surreptitiously checked the chrono, waiting for his lunch break to be over- being in the same room as a depressed Kendalina like this was no fun, and it made Triclops feel incredibly inept that he could do nothing to help.

"I should've been here, ready to get into the med-trans when it went to get her. She might not have died on the way here..." Kendalina mumbled, not really talking to anybody, continuing with her work until another medic- the one who'd been mentoring her- opened the doors.

"Medic Orewahime, you're needed in the lab- and what are YOU doing in an emergency room when surgery is happening?" The second half of the statement was directed at Triclops, who left before he could be lectured, following the wordless Kendalina down the hall that led first, to the lab then, to the maternity ward.

It became evident why Kendalina had been requested in the lab- a swarm of girls had flooded the room, all different races and species and ages, but each of them wearing the same armband, all of them receiving intravenous injections of some kind.

Triclops paused outside the door- he still had some time, he still felt bad about not being able to help aside from contacting the law enforcement when Kendalina had asked him to, and he still knew he wasn't going to be able to keep food down after what he'd just witnessed.

"Glad to see you idiots got here in time- 'f this'd gone untreated much longer, y'all woulda been dead." Kendalina said, gruffly. The girl who she was apparently vaccinating at the moment laughed a little.

"'At wes 'a ferst time we saw sh'mmun really beat 'er ash. An' yew dinna eben need a shaber... jes' kicked 'er 'ead in..." It was almost impossible to understand the girl's accent, Kendalina grunted in a way that Triclops knew, from experience, meant she was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk, so she apparently could. The girls were silent, then the same one spoke.

"Sho, yew 'ad yer ferst Dad killun a gerl?" Triclops heard Kendalina make a rude, but choked and emotional noise, loudly, "Why yew sho 'pshet? 'Appens all 'a time- 'snuddin new."

"That's WHY I'm fucking upset. It DOES happen all the fucking time and that's the fucking problem!" Triclops flinched at Kendalina's voice- He partially hoped that nobody else professional could overhear her swearing and losing her temper like that, but there was a part of him that felt almost like Kendalina was shouting at him, specifically, deliberately.

"I hate 'em... All the same... Stupid, arrogant, greedy, overbearing, fucking PIGS! Jus' because they've got this little extra fucking limb, jus' a few centimeters, danglin' between they're legs, they think they're better and smarter and stronger and can push us 'round like we're their fucking PROPERTY, and, oh-shit-say-it-ain't-so if we have our own minds and plans and ideas and can actually fucking DO something without their FUCKING permission... Because God forbid we act'lly fucking live when they say we don't get to..."

Triclops felt the bottom of his stomach drop and was very, very, very glad he hadn't gone to lunch, as well as that his break was ending just about now.

He walked, shakily, away from the room, trying to keep himself from being sick, hearing something over his shoulder.

"These onez waz thinking that one becomez new leader."

* * *

Kendalina arrived home to an empty apartment, even when it was long dark at night. Odd- Triclops was home by now, usually. Working at the nursery had shorter shifts than hers. There was a bowl with a lid on it and a note waiting for her next to the timepiece, which Kendalina read, immediately. 

_Someone who has the night shift quit today- I am covering for him until they can find someone else and will not be home until morning. The stew should still be warm- please do not wait up for me._

_-T_

"What the hell? Trike, you'll fall asleep an hour in an' not even a screaming littlun or fire alarm'll wake you up- you know that..." Kendalina muttered to the note, as though Triclops' ears might be attached to it.

Besides that, the note was very neatly printed and evenly spaced- if Triclops really HAD been asked to cover a shift, it would have been on short notice and he would have written it in a hurry. Besides that, the stew was still hot- Triclops would have left recently, probably just a few moments before she'd gotten to the building, so they would have only just missed each other.

Something was off.

Kendalina stood, glaring at the note as though it were responsible for all her current woes, before she threw it back down.

"Fine- if you want to get sick, you go ahead and work yourself to the bone. See if I care." Kendalina finally growled, using her feet, newly having learned the ability to hold things in them like she would her hands, to pull the bowl of stew towards her and hold it up as she used on hand to ladle the broth and vegetables up to her mouth while her other hand held open a book on radiology and nuclear medicine.

The med centers were indeed running out of medics, since the war was pulling a lot of them out to the front lines to care for the soldiers, so the medics left behind had to pick up the slack, and Kendalina figured it wouldn't hurt her to at least know the theory and some basics in all the different areas of medicine, just in case someone needed her to operate a machine or fill a prescription.

After she finished her stew and the chapter, Kendalina dumped her bowl in the basin of water. It was still full of dirty dishes and soapy water- Triclops usually washed them at the end of the week, since Kendalina couldn't do housework to save her life, so tomorrow, they'd have to eat their breakfast right out of the box with their fingers until Trike came back from his shift and washed the plates and utensils.

Kendalina stripped down from her shorts and shirt and settled herself under the blanket, even though she knew she'd kick it off in the night, but only tossed and turned until midnight. With an aggravated sigh and eyes that felt sunken as she was tired, but just couldn't sleep, Kendalina got to her feet and pulled on that dress she hated so much, since it was the only thing she could get on quickly, and a rope belt, grumbling as she stomped out of the apartment. As she locked the door and started towards the medcenter again, she muttered, sullenly.

"Of course I care."

* * *

"Medic Orewahime, we couldn't get a hold of you." Were the first words Kendalina heard as she reached the medcenter. It was the same medic who'd supervised Kendalina's early doctoring and pulled the necessary string to allow Triclops to work for some minimum wage in the nursery, but Kendalina could never remember the woman's name. Her brain just didn't seem to want to recognize this woman was something of a teacher to her, as though out of stubbornness that this woman wasn't Master Yaddle or Master Retaw, and thus, wasn't her teacher. Still, the news that the medcenter had been trying to contact her was a stern reminder that she'd accidentally left her comlink behind- Triclops was usually the one to remind her to take it with her. 

"Were you looking for me?" Kendalina asked, congenially, but following the medic as she walked in a path that could lead to the maternity ward, but also to other wards if they went a different direction at one corner.

"A young woman was found by the patrols, dumped in an old alleyway. She seems to have been beaten severely, and we can estimate it was done sometime earlier in the day, but none of the other medics can understand what's really wrong with her." The medic explained, but Kendalina had suddenly tuned her out.

"Wha's she look like?" Kendalina asked, drawing the medic's attention with curiosity, "She tall? 'Bout hundred eighty cen'imeters? Bald head? Tattoos? Big ol' milkers that could smother a baby before she fed it?"

The medic, used to Kendalina's rough manner and trash talk, rolled her eyes at the description, but did confirm, with some suspicion, Kendalina's words were very accurate.

"How did you know?" She asked, cautiously, as Kendalina's urgent step had slowed, her concern for the patient apparently gone.

"I'm the one that beat her up- she pulled a ligh'saber on me and got in my way when I got the emergency call from here 'bout the girl whose dad killed her. Since I didn't have time to put up with her shit, I kicked 'er in the head." Kendalina explained, casually. The medic paused, gave Kendalna a very odd look, but then rolled her eyes.

"That would be one thing, but it's very obvious this girl has been beaten in a different manner- bones in her arms are broken, scratches on her legs, teeth marks on her arms, and other injuries that you couldn't have possibly inflicted." The medic informed Kendalina, firmly. Kendalina raised her eyebrow, then followed the medic, realizing Triclops would have to wait.

It was, indeed, the woman who had been Master Retaw's sister, and the injuries were, indeed, not ones that Kendalina had inflicted. She was still conscious, but her face was bashed in and scowling as she glared up at Kendalina.

"'Ell-o, BaBa Bitch. What happened? Did your enormous ego finally get too heavy for your legs to support?" Kendalina asked, cheerfully, as she went about healing the woman's injuries. She worked from her internal wounds first, not trusting the old granny of a nasty woman her patient was not to strangle her if she healed her arms first.

The woman made a nasty noise.

"It's... your fault..." She snarled between her teeth. Kendalina's hands paused, almost wondering if this woman had heard about the girl earlier today, "...The minute you left... they stood up... and left. Came to this damn medcenter even when I told 'em not to..." Kendalina's hand paused just under the woman's enormous breasts- if this was natural for her species, maybe the other Jedi in the Order hadn't been too off calling Master Retaw 'Flat-Chest-Retaw'... "An' the ones that didn' have that sickness... all crowded 'round... did this..."

Kendalina somehow didn't feel sorry in the least for this woman.

"Aw, is the high and mighty Queen having a tantrum because her little servants aren't bending to her beck and call and every whim anymore?" She asked, sneering as her hands moved from the woman's abdomen to her sides, "You were a bad leader- that's what you get for saying 'Let them eat cake' all the time."

The woman, not about to be bested, snapped back,

"If I'm the Queen, then you're the little Princess. I'll die and you'll take the throne, forever haunted by my shadow."

Kendalina stopped, just short of moving up to heal the woman's ribs- several were broken, but at such awkward angles they couldn't be moved back, since her species was undetermined and Kendalina didn't know what her internal biology was, anyway.

With a final leer, one of the woman's arms jerked, then her fist came smashing down on her left breast, before she suddenly started to cough and blood spewed out from between her lips. Kendalina screamed- it was so sudden, she couldn't help it, but her hands almost immediately moved to stop the woman. There was a crack and Master Retaw's sister smashed her skull against the table, enough that Kendalina saw a small pool of blood ooze out from under it. She was smiling.

"I can't wait to see you fuck up from the afterlife."

Kendalina didn't wait- her hands moved to the woman's head, but the puddle of blood was growing bigger. And as Kendalina moved to heal the head injury, Master Retaw's sister raised her arm again and again, beating down on her chest and forcing more blood up from her lungs. Kendalina's hands darted back to heal the injury in her chest and the woman began beating her head again, reopening the wound in her skull.

Kendalina couldn't stop her. The woman who had been Master Retaw's sister no longer laid on the table- now, it was only her corpse.

The medic, whom had been attending as a nurse once again, had to steer Kendalina out of the room. Kendalina didn't even see the room move before her, completely in a daze. It was only after the medic gave her a sharp slap on the shoulder that Kendalina even noticed she was still standing upright.

"Triclops... I came to see..." But the medic cut her off.

"Go home and sleep- you're not even half-awake now and that will cause more problems if the emergency room gets a call. You might as well be performing surgery drunk or in the middle of a stroke."

Kendalina was too tired and worn to argue. She went back to the apartment and lay back down, crying in her sleep.

* * *

Triclops wasn't alone as he took care of the infants in the nursery- there were far too many little ones in the room for him to care for all by himself, so there were at least three other nurses or doctors-in-training or interns feeding or rocking or weighing and measuring and soothing other babies. However, none of these other people were quite like Triclops in that they seemed to see something... different, about the infants.

All Triclops ever saw were cute faces and tiny, fragile bodies. Perhaps it was because he wasn't learning medicine, but he didn't see any of the medical implications about these children- how the rosy in their cheeks might be indicative of a fever, how the watering in their eyes meant there was something irritating them, how the red tinge of some hair signified undernourishment, how the puff in their chins was a sign of a jaw problem... Triclops just saw the adorable, living, breathing creatures they were.

As such, Triclops was usually too entranced by them to ever speak to the others in the room with him.

One wouldn't stop crying- it was an alien of some species that Triclops couldn't identify, but he or she just wouldn't stop screaming. Triclops tried feeding the little one, but they just pushed away the bottle, mouth still open and wailing and when the medic came in to examine the child, they stopped crying under the light of the medic's pen-sized lamp.

After a brief examination, the medic proclaimed the girl, a Bith, to be premature and with a disease Triclops couldn't pronounce, but essentially meant she'd been born drunk because her mother had been drunk during delivery.

"Boy, do you ever plan on having children?" The medic asked as he wrote down his observations on a datapad. Triclops blinked at the question, caught off guard as he'd been waiting for the medic to move so he could try giving the girl her bottle again.

"...I am not sure, sir." He replied, honestly. The medic sighed, then gave Triclops a stern glance.

"Just in case you do, someday, take this as a lesson- keep your wife away from liquor and make sure she's over eighteen. It's the problem with kids today- they go out and party, get drunk, fool around, and then when the girls find out they've got a baby to deliver, they start drinking more and more." The medic switched off his lamp, and the girl in the cradle started to cry again. Triclops, feeling more than a little panicked, took the lamp from the medic, rather forcefully, and turned it back on, again. The crying subsided.

The medic sighed.

"Then, we have little ones like this... the mother dies, we don't know who the father is, and the infant is damaged for life. We don't know what to do with them." The medic shrugged, then walked out. Triclops reached in for the little girl, and as soon as he tried to touch her, she started to twist and attempt to wriggle away.

"Oh no, you don't. Come here, you little fright. No, you're not getting away. Triclops doesn't care- Triclops _likes_ YOU." Triclops felt a little annoyed- the medic who had offered him this position had been right about how changing diapers and caring for them when they were hungry, uncomfortable, or just cranky had changed him enough that he no longer had seizures of cuteness, and when he was sleepy, he was also much, much, much shorter on temper. However, he kept his tone sweet and gentle, enough that even if he swore at the littluns, they wouldn't know.

"So... ARE you ever gonna have kids?" Asked another one of the men in the room. Why, Triclops wondered, were there only men in here? Why wasn't there at least one woman? What if they were doing something wrong that a woman would know immediately and point it out?

Triclops didn't answer the question- he was too busy with the girl he'd finally managed to scoop up and bring over to the chair to give her her bottle and rock her, but the question itself bothered him.

Would he ever have children? He'd like to. Even after the spasms at the sight of cute children had been driven from him, he still couldn't help but stopping, staring, and blushing every time he saw a little girl wearing a cute hat with ears on it or a little boy in a fuzzy sweater meant to keep him warm, and his spasms had only gotten more severe if he saw something like a baby animal or something in their likeness.

With this in mind, he sort of did want to have some kids- after spending hours in this nursery, he'd gotten rather attached to a few little ones, which made it very hard for him to not cry when the parents came to take them home. On one hand, he wanted to be glad that the parents cared enough that they'd come to claim their child, but on the other, he sometimes felt like he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye properly. It was something along those lines that made him want to have a child or two of his own at some point. Then, the whole idea that he might be a father... well, the idea of having a family to belong to, to have someone who would accept him and love him no matter what, to have someone to care about...

But then, it brought up the question of who the mother would be. And when he started to think about that, Triclops felt something inside him twist, painfully. Almost like his stomach was screaming to be fed, and no food that he gave it would fill the emptiness. Maybe this was what starving men felt like...

Really, he wished Kendalina could be the one to be the mother, but that opened a new set of questions that he REALLY didn't want to think about. Did she even want to be a mother? And even if she did, did she want to be the mother of HIS child? They'd known each other since they were kids, and you just don't think about someone who you used to play childish games with like that. It would be like wanting to be the father of his sister's children, since that was about as close as they were.

Triclops didn't want his questions answered, so he ignored them, pushed them to the back of his brain, and continued to rock the little one back to sleep.


	21. Part III: Chapter 5

By Sapadu

Chapter 5: Fit

fit /fɪt/ Pronunciation Key – [fit

–adjective

1. adapted or suited; appropriate

2. proper or becoming

3. qualified or competent, as for an office or function

5. in good physical condition; in good health

–verb (used with object)

9. to be of the right size or shape for

10. to adjust or make conform

11. to make qualified or competent

12. to prepare

–verb (used without object)

15. to be suitable or proper

–noun

18. something that fits

Kendalina woke up in time for her shift, but next to an empty spot on the bed, which made her mad. It was with a great deal of temper, foot stomping, and muttering under her breath that she washed her face in the sink and set out for the medcenter.

"C'nny ask ya a favor?" She asked of the Medic. The Medic gave her an odd look, but didn't say no, so Kendalina continued, "Coudja delay Triclops from goin' home 'fore I gedda chance to talk to him?" The Medic was puzzled as Kendalina asked this, but considered it.

"Why do you suddenly want to see him?" She asked, eyes not moving from the schedule of surgeries that were set for today, "Don't the two of you live together?"

"Yeah, but he's started avoidin' me- he's been workin' night shifts when I've gotta be here durin'a day, and he didn't come home at all th'last few nigh's..."

"I don't think that's something I should get involved in. After all, we are kind of short on the nightstaff."

"BUAH?"

"He IS filling in for someone. And in the nursery, we need people in there even more than we need people in the Emergency Operation Rooms. And if we stop him from going back home to get some sleep, we endanger his health- if he's working around the infants, his health condition has to be perfect, or the little ones will get sick as well." The Medic said, firmly, and Kendalina knew that no amount of begging or arguing or insulting would change her mind. Unlike most women in this medcenter, this one had a thick skin and wasn't swayed, easily or otherwise, by anything- even the director of the medcenter had a hard time getting her to do what he wanted, if it wasn't strictly in line with medical duties. Even threats and sexual harassment didn't seem to faze this woman.

It was something Kendalina rather liked about her, but it made persuasion damn near impossible.

Heart surgery was scheduled next- supposedly one of those bypass things, so Kendalina had to have her hands scrubbed, even as she knew that she wouldn't even need to cut the guy open. Why the hell couldn't people just eat healthy? Nobody should be allowed to eat so much crap that this happened to their heart in the first place... the food manufacturers, distributers, advertisers... Geez us, what was WRONG with people today?

Just before she went into the room, the Medic whispered in her ear,

"I'll have him fill out an employment application before he leaves- if he's working the nightshift, he has to be officially employed, anyway."

Kendalina didn't look back, but somehow or another, felt very queer on the inside... it almost seemed too easy that the stone-wall Medic was actually giving in.

* * *

Triclops was dizzy with sleepiness and too much caffeine when his shift ended. He wasn't used to staying awake, so it was suddenly sounding quite appealing to sleep during the day, except he heard someone call him into an office. 

It was the medic in charge of the maternity ward.

"Triclops, since you've begun working the nightshift with regularity for the past several weeks, we cannot allow you to go on, unofficially being paid. A person has to be fully employed to work here on a night shift or more than three hours in a row on one day. Furthermore there are implications such as tax evasion that must be addressed, as well as employed insurance. As such, I need you to..."

Triclops' head was resting on his chest, leaving him virtually dead to the world.

"WAKE UP!"

Triclops' head jerked up,

"The fishcakes are attacking... wait, wha?" He mumbled, half in a sleepy daze. With an exasperated sigh, the medic pushed a datapad and electric pen towards him, pointing to the lines he needed to fill out.

"Fill out the indicated areas. If you have any questions, feel free to ask." Triclops blinked a few more times, then absently started to fill out what he could. His name... his approximate age... his address... it came naturally, for some reason. He didn't even think as the pen moved.

For some reason, as Triclops had filled out everything he could and looked up to ask a question, his face found itself mostly stuck into a black, fabric covered, rock-hard something. Blinking a few time, Triclops almost fell off his chair as he realized what, exactly, he'd had his nose stuck into.

"Trike, your nose is digging inta my ribs and tha' hurts." Triclops almost jumped at Kendalina's voice, but didn't drop the datapad.

"...Kenda..." He stammered for a moment. He had still not forgotten Kendalina's self-proclaimed antagonism for the male half of the species.

In all fairness, he supposed, it made sense. Her father and uncles had been horrible Human Beings, then it had moved up to the Baron who had attempted to take Triclops away, then Master Windu, whom she had deemed the one behind the conspiracy to throw Mater Retaw out of the Temple because 'He'd just wanted to get into her pants and was mad that she liked girls instead of him', then the Chancellor, whom Triclops had never met, but he knew was an all-around unpleasant individual, then, of course, the man yesterday, who'd strangled his own daughter... Perhaps Kendalina wasn't too far from the mark that Human men were mostly all the same.

But... it still left a wound that she thought that he, Triclops, was like that. Or maybe he was just too scared that, maybe, as he grew older, he would change for the worse.

God knew he'd already...

Triclops looked to the floor. Kendalina moved so that he was forced to look at her.

"You've been avoidin' me." Kendalina's tone was almost cheerful, if the grin on her face wasn't, which only made Triclops' eyes shift in any direction but her face.

"Trike, I don't like coming home to an empty apartment- why're you deliberately avoiding me?" Kendalina demanded, still grinning. Triclops still didn't look at her, but eventually just said it.

"Because I do not want to upset you."

Kendalina's face warped a little before she let out a very bizarre noise.

"What the hell? Upset me? 'Ve'you been doin' somethin' bad?" Kendalina asked, suspiciously, "What? Stealin'? Drugs? Don't tell me you ben goin' back into the 'Sell-my-body-for-a-quick-credit' shit..."

Triclops pulled a face, for once, and gave Kendalina a rather offended and disgusted glance.

"No..."

"Then wha' the Kriffin' hells d'ya think you've done that'll upset me?" Kendalina demanded, voice rising in pitch, which made Triclops very glad that the medic had stepped out and wasn't hearing Kendalina swear like this.

"Having to come home to me." He replied, simply. Kendalina made a face of her own that made Triclops wonder if she was somehow or another mutating- her lips twisted, one cheek sagged while the other lifted and her eyebrows made two different curved shapes. It looked rather painful.

"Shnuh?"

"Because we are all the same, right?" Kendalina blinked, before a horrified look started to come to her face, "We are all stupid, arrogant, greedy, overbearing..." Triclops left out the expletive, "...pigs, right?" Kendalina bit her lip, then frowned, then looked pained, again.

"Trike, that's different." She said, shakily, but Triclops gave her a quizzical look.

"Different?" He asked, quietly. His voice sounded hoarse, almost even that dangerous threatening tone that his other self seemed to use, except he had no intention of threatening her. Part of that might have come from his evil alter ego that emerged when he was sleepy, but he was also genuinely annoyed, "So you are just going to take back your words, just like that? Or did you not mean them? Were you lying or just saying something to get the women in that group on your side?"

"Don't you try to pull that shit on me!" Kendalina snapped, angrily, but Triclops continued to stare her down.

"Well, which is it? Did you mean it or not?" Triclops asked. Kendalina's nose wrinkled.

"Trike... you're giving me a no-win question here... If I say 'Yes', then you're going to think I hate everyone- including you. If I say 'No', you're going to assume I'm going back on what I said and then I'm suddenly not the same stubborn bitch anymore." Kendalina said, with an annoyed and frustrated note in her voice.

"That is possible." Triclops agreed, noncommittally, unrepentant. Kendalina should have been more careful in her words if she didn't want this situation.

"What do you want me to say that will make you happy?" Kendalina finally demanded. Her tone was aggravated, but obviously more aggravated than she really felt. Triclops blinked for a moment, wondering precisely why it both relieved and bothered him that Kendalina had asked what would make him HAPPY, of all things.

"How about the truth?" Triclops finally said, softly. Kendalina raised an eyebrow, but shrugged after a few minutes with a disgusted sigh.

"Fine- I'll be honest. I DID mean it. Human men suck ass, among other things, we'd be better off with just women and buying our baby-makin' cells from a sperm bank, and overall, they're just unpleasant creatures. I hate Human men, never intend to spend my time in their company if I can help it, and will probably not get married to one nor have any children with one." Kendalina's tone was nonchalant, almost even proud of the hateful words coming out of her mouth, "Happy now?"

Triclops still didn't look at her, staring away and feeling his eyes smarting. Kendalina let out a frustrated noise that sounded suspiciously like a vulgar slang phrase for reproduction.

"Obviously not- why'n 'a fucking hell d'you ask me to tell ya this stuff when it's only gonna upset you?" Kendalina shouted, nose wrinkling again, "If this didn't make ya happy, what EXACTLY did you wanna hear?"

"In all honesty, I would have liked to hear something along the lines of your rant about men being misheard, construed, or misinterpreted because it was out of context, but only if that was the truth." Triclops replied, some what agitated.

"You DID mishear it- or at least part!" Kendalina shouted, which was starting to fray at Triclops' nerves, since he really wasn't comfortable with this conversation being over heard like it was sure to be now, "I said HUMAN men!"

"Oh, and that makes everything better." Triclops agreed, mildly sarcastic. Not being allowed to sleep was fraying at his nerves even more now.

"Why the fuck are YOU upset that I think Human men are useless assholes?" Kendalina demanded. Already short on temper, Triclops glared at her.

"Kendalina, this might come as a shock to you, but if you told a Wookie you hate furry aliens, he would be offended, if you told a Cow that you hate things with udders, she would be offended, and if you tell a Man that you hate males, he's going to be VERY offended."

"Whaddas THIS have to do with why YOU'RE upset?" Kendalina demanded, and as Triclops was about to say some very hurtful words about Kendalina's intelligence and lack thereof, she continued, "You're not either Human or a man, and you're not stupid, overbearing, greedy, or arrogant. You don't push me around, except for when I'm about to get my sorry ass into trouble, an' even then, you just distract me- an' it's not like I'm that tough to distract, anyhow- you don't act like you're smarter or stronger or better than me- well, how can you, when I could whip your ass in two seconds and talk circles around you if we got inta a shoutin' match or somethin'?- an' yeh don' treat me like I'm yer bitch with a collar 'round my neck. HOW THE HELL DOES ANY OF MY OPINION OF HUMAN MEN RELATE TO YOU?"

Triclops raised his own voice.

"KENDALINA, PLEASE BREATHE BEFORE YOU PASS OUT." He said, over her. Kendalina did just that, red in the face from her lack of oxygen. After taking a few deep breaths, Kendalina almost flopped backwards, except that Triclops had had the foresight to put a hand on her shoulder.

"If I am not Human or a man, then what do YOU call me? I am certainly Humanoid and male and most would classify me as a man." Kendalina rolled her eyes.

"Fuckin' semantics." She muttered, "You're a TRICLOPS, of course."

Triclops blinked.

"And either way, you're still just a boy."

Triclops blinked, again.

"Are you two done flirting, yet?" The medic had returned, and was annoyed, "Triclops has to fill out that form, still, and there's another surgery appointment in ten minutes."

Triclops blinked a few more times, before Kendalina snatched the datapad out of his hand.

"I'll fill this out- I think I should, anyway. Trike, you spelled your name 'Krill-Esk-Nern-Dorn-Aurek-Leth-Osk-Peth-Senth', and the address you put down is a local grocer which sells only onio..."

Almost as though someone had flipped a switch, Triclops had fallen asleep, right in his seat.

* * *

"Triclops..." Kendalina kept nudging her roommate with her toe, but he was, essentially, sleeping like a rock. Nothing would wake Triclops when he was like this, and after their confrontation in the medcenter office, Kendalina wasn't so sure she WANTED him to wake up. 

Still... she'd made a real lunch and it was at least edible. She wanted him awake, damn it!

Triclops wasn't awake at an hour past noon. Kendalina ate by herself and kept the rest warm as she waited for him to wake up.

Finally, an hour before the nightshift started, Kendalina had to coax Triclops awake. First she poked and prodded, then dripped cold water on his forehead, then had to force his mouth open and stuff a ladle full of beans into it.

That woke Triclops up, albeit with a great deal of coughing.

As he cleared his throat and swallowed the beans, he gave Kendalina a curious glance, not questioning as she pushed him a bowl of stew that was more like paste than liquid.

"Kendalina, you are a medic- would you not know better than to do that?" Triclops asked, timidly. Kendalina shrugged.

"I also know whadda do if it goes wrong. An' I know you well 'nuff I'm preddy sure you ain't gon' dah frommit."

Triclops paused, before he quickly finished his stew. It wasn't as good as some other food he'd tasted, but it was certainly the best Kendalina had ever made, and that counted for something. It was actually bland, as opposed to bad, and the texture was mostly the smoothness of mashed beans and yams, with the occasional crunch of a charbote root. Maybe if they had a little bit of salt or some kind of spice to liven the flavor, it wouldn't be too unbearable.

It also seemed to be distinctly Correllian. How very Kendalina.

"Anyhow, I hadda wake y'all up- Yeh ha'nt had lunch, so ya needed to eat SUMMIN' 'fore nightshift start'd..." Kendalina added, pointing to the timepiece with her toe, "A'er our 'alk inna me'cenner, I move'a cover 'a nigh'shif' innie 'merg'cy room..." The words from Kendalina's mouth were muffled by the extra mouthful of food she'd stuffed into it, but Triclops understood, anyway, the way he always did. As he glanced at the timepiece himself, it suddenly struck him how they had to be at the medcenter in fifteen minutes. He quickly finished his food, then pulled his shoes back on, ready to go.

"Trike." Kendalina's voice butted into his head as she put her bowl and his into the wash basin. Triclops paused and the eye in the back of his head opened- he could see Kendalina stretching, scratching her head, and just in general taking her sweet time in getting up and ready to go. But Triclops knew that she had something she needed to say.

"When we get back home in the mornin', we're gonna have a TALK."

Triclops stopped himself from gulping at the foreboding sound of that 'Talk'. It could only mean something bad.

* * *

The next morning, as the sky over their heads changed from glowing with the yellow-green lights of nighlit clubs, offices, buildings, and apartments to the stormy, cloudy, steel blue of the sun just barely about to rise on the horizon, Triclops and Kendalina found their way back to their apartment and both lay down on their shared mattress. 

The world outside had been chilly with the nip of morning mist and cold metal buildings, and both the two felt as though the slight frost in the air had gone straight to their bones like icy needles. Under the blanket and curled up, Triclops shivered with the escaping chill and the comforting warmth of the covers, as though snuggling under them was only making him shiver more. Next to him, he could feel Kendalina doing the same, and he had no doubt it was for the same reasons.

Both of them were exhausted, perhaps Kendalina even more than Triclops, as she hadn't slept at all yesterday and had had to drag Triclops home from his nightshift. That night, more children had been born with defects and put into the nursery, and it had been a miserable experience for him to try to comfort them. The parents disappeared as soon as the children were born, and while the deformities were not life-threatening, none of the children could be made comfortable, no matter what the medics or people in the nursery did- something inside of those little ones just didn't work correctly, and it was causing them a never ending pain.

Meanwhile, Triclops knew Kendalina had been the one to deliver each and every one of those children- either the mothers had to be cut open because of the deformity making natural birth impossible, or they'd come in from an emergency as it stood. One of the women who Kendalina had operated on that night had been half-dead when she'd arrived in the emergency room and, while Kendalina had managed to save her life, she would be paralyzed, blind, deaf, and mute for the rest of her life because so many portions of her brain had shut down from blood loss.

Before Triclops could even stop himself, he was shaking for a second reason, face buried into the pillow.

Kendalina's hand touched his shoulder.

"...It is just like with Master Yaddle..." Triclops whispered, and didn't need to see to know the look of shock on Kendalina's face, "...Is what you are thinking, right?" Kendalina's hand became an arm, and a second one touched his other shoulder, wrapping around his back.

"Yeah..." She muttered, barely audible.

"...Because... you think... you should have been able... to save them... because... since they all left with incurable injuries... you think you have failed... is that right?" Triclops continued. Kendalina's voice choked, but he heard her make a confirming noise.

He couldn't help it anymore- Triclops started to cry, in loud, shaking wails. Kendalina didn't even seem surprised- she just held onto him tighter. She didn't try to muffle him against her shoulder or even mumble for him to 'Shush', but just patted his back and waited for the howling to stop.

"...Is it going to be like that every night?" Triclops finally asked. He'd never noticed new additions to the nursery before, and when he'd worked in the day, occasionally he'd notice a few new little ones, but not enough that he ever wondered where they'd come from.

"...Maybe, Trike..." Kendalina finally answered, "...Night is the most dangerous time for women and children... there are more emergency calls at night than during the day... Rapes, murders, beatings, robberies... Women are helpless in the dark."

Triclops' arms wrapped around Kendalina's waist and clung to her, tightly. Kendalina squeezed him back, still comforting his screams.

It wasn't until the sun had risen that Triclops finally quieted, and Kendalina spoke.

"Trike..."

Triclops' head was resting in her lap, arms still tightly latched around her waist and eyes shut. His third eye opened again and looked up at her to show he acknowledged her speaking to him- he didn't trust his voice not to give out on him if he tried to say something.

"...Thanks." Triclops lifted his head from Kendalina's lap and looked at her with his front two eyes, curiously, "...Since I've gotten this apartment and started working at the medcenter... it was harder and harder for me to be emotional at times... While you were still in the holding cell and I was still at the Temple, there were a lot of times I just didn't want to get out of bed because I didn't want to have to face all the miserable people at the medcenter... teenage moms whose dad's kicked them out... drunkards who we can only give them their last meal and watch as they slowly die of poisoning without their livers... old people whose hearts just don't want to keep beating... little kids whose moms did spice while they were pregnant..."

Triclops said nothing.

"...It's hard to get up and go to that everyday. But... if I ever showed any emotion... got upset if a surgery just couldn't have been won or cheered if I actually saved someone's life... it felt like all the other medics... especially the Men... like they were all staring down at me with scorn in their eyes... like it was so WRONG to show any sign of emotion... I mean, the Men in the medcenter are used to being stoic and 'tough' like that... but for the women, because we're kind of already intruding into their field... since being a medic was something only Men could do for a long time... we have to be even more stoic and tough. We can't even have a break down when we're off the clock. I swear, sometimes, I can feel some intern following me home from the medcenter everyday to make sure I don't start crying as soon as I exit the doors."

Without a word, Triclops lowered his head back onto Kendalina's knees.

"...So... thanks for doing it for me... it makes me feel like I can actually do something... to be able to comfort somebody else... instead of having to be helpless and useless against everything."

Triclops' eyes closed again.

"It was nothing." He murmured.

"That's why it pisses me off so much." Kendalina finally said, which made Triclops sit up with a confused expression, "To see you be so relaxed." Triclops frowned and tilted his head a little.

Kendalina was frowning, but with her eyes closed, as though she were glaring at the inside of her eyelids. She had folded her arms behind her head to act as a pillow as she leaned back against the wall, and as Triclops lifted off of her legs, Kendalina promptly crossed them at the ankles, knees jutting out to the sides.

"I mean... you've got it so EASY... I know you've gotta have SOME kind of opinions about stuff that's happening in the galaxy, but you never SAY anything for yourself... Even we female medics get to yell and bitch about stuff like stupid tax laws and how the war is taking good medics away from home to the front where they're gonna get killed and shit like that." Kendalina went on, snorting through her nose, "But you never say nothin'."

Triclops blinked for a moment, before he asked,

"Did you have a point in there?"

Kendalina's eyes opened and she shot an annoyed glare at him.

"Yeah- SPEAK UP, DAMMIT!"

Triclops blinked, taken aback.

"...Ah..." He finally managed, before Kendalina rolled her eyes, sighed, then stood up and walked over to the door, grabbing her credit purse.

"I'm gonna go get somethin' from a restaurant- I don' feel like cookin' or waitin' for youda cook..."

Kendalina stopped as Triclops stood up and grabbed her wrist. After a long pause, Kendalina looked back over her shoulder and cocked an eyebrow.

"Speak up... is what you said..." Triclops explained, slowly. Kendalina blinked, once, twice, before turning around fully and putting her hands on her hips, leaning against the door frame, almost impatiently, "...Could you get sandwiches? ...For lunch?"

Kendalina's lower lip jutted out in bemusement, but she finally grinned, lips spreading wide enough that Triclops could see little pink triangles of her gums.

"Anything specific you wan' on 'em?" She asked.

"Vegetarian... maybe with some cheese..." Kendalina grinned again and almost took off again. Just as she got outside the door, Triclops had a second thought and grabbed her arm again.

"WHAT NOW?" She demanded, loudly, "The sooner I leave, the sooner I get back, and then the sooner we can eat and sleep."

"This is something else..." Triclops said, quietly, much to Kendalina's chagrin.

"Can't it wait?"

"I will forget." Triclops explained. Kendalina's feet stopped rising and dropping in paused runs as she exasperatedly turned around again to give Triclops her full, if almost sarcastically so, attention.

"When I asked... if you would ever have children..." Kendalina blinked, hard, obviously irritated, "You said that, if you ever did, I would always be welcome to visit and play with them..."

Kendalina rolled her eyes.

"Like I said- I'd suck ass as a mom, but if I did have kids by some freak of nature or change of heart or somethin' like that, I meant what I said... Well... I'd pro'lly adopt or go to a sperm bank... or the kids would be half-breeds or somethin' like that, but in any case, I'm not takin' back what I sai'ta you 'bout bein' their Uncle or somethin'..." Kendalina recounted, toe tapping on the floor with aggravation. Triclops shook his head.

"That is not what I wanted to know." Triclops said, shakily. Kendalina's eyebrows shot up, and Triclops couldn't look her in the face anymore- he just couldn't. He felt too ashamed, for some reason.

"...I... If I am not a Human man, in your eyes..." Triclops said, slowly, "...I would like... I would hope... Could I be something... MORE than an Uncle?" Triclops glanced up at Kendalina's puzzled expression, before he looked down at his feet and swallowed around the lump that seemed to be forming in his throat, "... If you would not mind... I would like to be... a father, perhaps..." Triclops heard his voice crack and go up a few pitches, so he stopped to take a breath and calm down, before he added, "... But... only if you were the mother..."

Triclops didn't look up at Kendalina but he heard her say three things,

"Oh?" The first was a question, as though she didn't understand, or possibly doubted, what Triclops had said, "OH!" The second was understanding, the jumbled words Triclops had spewed out actually having some clarity at last, "...Ooohhh..." Triclops didn't know what THAT noise meant.

A loud growling noise interrupted the contemplative moment, and both their faces went red, before Kendalina dragged Triclops back into their apartment.

"We can survive on ration bars for a day."

* * *

After a brief meal of nutrient paste that Triclops had gotten on his last day off and a nap, Kendalina and Triclops spent the afternoon before their shifts talking out the bumps in their relationship and soothing the hurt feelings their miscommunications had caused. 

"That explains why you kept trying to avoid me- because you overheard me talkin' with the Furies and thought I meant you, too..." Kendalina noted at the end of their conversation, arms folded and nodding sagely. She almost looked wise, except for the fact that Triclops had just finished his explanation of his own trying situation.

"...I think most people would have realized it sooner..." Triclops mumbled, eyebrows raised slightly. Kendalina ignored him.

"And I thought that you were just being obtuse or something weird like that..." She continued, as though Triclops hadn't said anything.

"...How long have we known each other, again?" Again, Triclops put in, and again, Kendalina ignored him.

"So... You like me as more than a friend, and I like you as more than a friend, and that's why the both of us have been acting weird around the other. NOW it all makes sense..." There was a satisfied smile on Kendalina's face, like she'd just solved a great, intimidating mathematical equation that had been formerly deemed unsolvable. Triclops looked thoroughly unimpressed.

"You are only just now figuring that out?" He muttered, more to himself than anything.

"This should be pretty easy to solve... I mean, we're living together, already, so nobody'll ask weird questions and put more pressure on us... HEY! Trike, do you wanna go out for dinner before we haftago to our shifts?" Kendalina asked, sitting up, eyes bright. Her voice had suddenly changed from the sarcastic pensive and not-really-intelligent tone it had been a few moments ago, and was now cheerful, optimistic, and bright. It caught Triclops off guard, but after a few minutes blinking, he managed a nod.

"How about a noodle vendor? Or maybe a HappyPatty chain? Since this is kind of short-notice, it probably shouldn't be anywhere fancy... Or what about the sandwich deli, since we didn't get them for lunch?" Kendalina asked, but Triclops shook his head.

"Why don't we go to a noodle vendor, get a take-out order for you, then go to a sandwich deli, I will buy my own meal, and then we eat in a public square or park?" He offered, with a small smile. Kendalina blinked, frowning, but then grinned and started to laugh, loudly.

"Alright- but I'm buyin' everythin'." Triclops blinked at her for a moment, curiously, "Otherwise, 'snot a date."

Triclops continued to stare, before his eyelids lowered, just a little. His expression was a combination of guilty, curious, and hurt all at once.

"Mmm? Trike?" She asked, lips pursing, before Triclops got to his feet.

"Is it really okay for you?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina blinked, several times.

"Vaas?"

"...Is it really... something that you can accept? To be in a relationship like this? Is it really okay for you to be attached to another person and to have to give up some things for that relationship?" Triclops wasn't insecure, but his face was serious, mature, rational. He was asking the question as an adult would ask a matter of insurance and retirement to their financial adviser. He was asking to be serious.

Kendalina stared at him for a moment, but grinned again.

"I'm used to having someone with me. I can't be completely independent and not need someone- ever since I was little, Master Retaw took care of me because I couldn't do anything for myself, since I was blind an' everything... That one year that you were in the containment cells, I was more scared than I'd ever been in my life." Kendalina waved his concern away, "I brought you along because I needed a relationship with someone, even if it was as an old, childhood friend who I could bitch to when I had a bad day." Kendalina rolled backwards, then made a curved jumping motion that went from her weight resting on her neck joints to her feet being on the floor under her body as she stood, "Besides... I'll need a partner to keep my feet on the ground."

They left their apartment, Kendalina locking the door behind them and leading the way down the hall, before Triclops stopped, again. Kendalina paused, before Triclops spoke.

"I will do my part, then." He said, in a quiet, but decisive tone, "If you will be able to give up your privacy, space, time, and complete freedom for me... then I will commit to help you find Master Retaw and bring her back."

Kendalina turned around and stared at Triclops, eyes shimmering a little and jaw slack, but almost imperceptibly.

"She is important to you... and she is important to me, too. You said that if it was for your Master, you could do anything. I will do the same, now." Triclops' declaration was soft, but iron firm, and there was a new feeling of unity, now that he said it. Before, Kendalina had been always acting on her own, declaring things left and right, making decisions for the both of them.

Now, Triclops was signing the contract, himself.

Kendalina reached back and took one of Triclops' hands, interlocking her fingers with his and squeezing.

Dinner was, indeed, a date that night. Every passerby that even caught a glimpse of the two knew it without even needing to ask.

A/N: Now... a break for me! I've got to work on my other fics and my actual original fiction, which I'm hoping to have published... sometime in my life span... Enjoy the fluff while it lasts... And in the scene with Triclops filling out the form... he wrote his name as 'Kendalops'. I've done that, sometimes... if I'm REALLY sleepy... write half of one name and half of another. Speaking of which (YAWNS) bedtime for me...


	22. Part III: Chapter 6

By Sapadu

Chapter 6: Poignant

poign·ant /ˈpɔɪnyənt, ˈpɔɪnənt/ Pronunciation Key - [**poin**-y_uh_nt,**poi**-n_uh_nt

–adjective

1. keenly distressing to the feelings

2. keen or strong in mental appeal

3. affecting or moving the emotions

4. pungent to the smell

Triclops was surprised to see Kendalina's strange alliance with the girls from the street, but couldn't bring himself to be displeased, since it seemed to suit her. Apparently, they called themselves the 'Furies'. The name supposedly came from mythology, based on bird-like creatures that haunted men who murdered women.

How appropriate.

He was even more surprised to see a meeting being held in the sitting room in their apartment. It had been after their sleeping hours that Triclops had gone to get more vegetables, and when he'd returned, there had been at least thirty women crowded into the small room Kendalina and Triclops lived, slept, ate, dressed, and studied together in. There were lizard-species women sitting on the walls, women stacked on each other's shoulders on the floor, one woman somehow or another managing to lay on the ceiling, and the room barely had any space to breathe, before Triclops wormed his way in. After that, any possible hope of comfort was dashed.

"So, everyone wants Kendalina to be the new leader, because she killed the previous one?" He confirmed, wanting to be sure that he understood and wasn't nastily surprised, later.

"I' wa' 'mazin'! Sh' jus' sho'dp an' whupp' 'er 'ss, an' dunnin' ev'n as' fo' nuttin' ba'." One woman with a ghastly accent put in, while Kendalina raised an eyebrow.

"So, you want me to lead you guys because I helped you without asking for anything in return. Is that ALWAYS how you pick them out?" She asked, pulling out a stick to chew on, but the women in the gang looked solemn.

"Our leaders choose themselves. They are the greatest of us all, and if someone greater than them comes along, they are no longer our leaders." The woman speaking was large and lurking, with a hump on her back and massive arms, yet Triclops somehow knew that she could not even HOPE to come close to Kendalina in terms of physical prowess, "You became the new leader of the Furies the moment you came into our lives. She was merely acting in your stead, and poorly at that."

Kendalina and Triclops couldn't help but stare at the speaker, as did everyone else present. Perhaps she had never been very vocal or easy with words before, but there were no objections from the other Furies to the truth in her words. Indeed, several other women nodded in agreement.

The two roommates exchanged a glance. Triclops said nothing, but privately wanted Kendalina to accept, for several reasons, but the main two being that if she accepted her new "position", Kendalina would be able to have a better influence in the lives of less privileged women, like she wanted to, and because she would have more assistance in aiding the lower classes. Kendalina had never spoken of her desires to bring an end to the class structure that kept the lower classes in poverty and the less privileged in their hopeless situations, but Triclops knew her well enough over the years that many things didn't need to be spoken.

Kendalina didn't say anything as she pondered her answer, until a small smirk crept onto her lips.

"You girls... are very interesting people." She finally declared, "I like people like you."

Triclops was quiet, but knew that it only meant good things when Kendalina spoke in that tone.

"I don' mean to sound like a manipulative bitch, 'cept that's what I'm about to be- would y'all mind a sorta give'n'take bargain?"

There were many women in the group who looked curious to what Kendalina could possibly mean by that, before she explained.

"I'm not gonna be ablta promise I'll be a good leader- but I CAN be as fair as I can, an' a good 'nuff gal 'fya need sommun ta come to wid yer problems or questions. But, I've gotta ask one favor've ya." Kendalina explained. The other women were listening, but they all seemed... intrigued. And, for some reason, they seemed more interested in the fact that Kendalina was talking to them like equals and asking them civilly instead of commanding and giving orders like they were accustomed to. Triclops did his best not to smile.

"Let'z hear thiz bargain." One of the Barabels said, at last.

"There's someone I'm looking for- your old leader had a sister, once." Kendalina explained, slowly, and Triclops knew it was to keep her voice from cracking, not out of condescending, "This woman was that older sister. She was also my Master, a Jedi Knight, and one of the best the Order will ever see. But she got kicked out because one of the male Master's was pissed that she cared about me so damn much and didn't even notice him." Triclops held his tongue, knowing that if he said anything, even if it was a joke, all the women in the room would murder him as messily as possible.

"Yea- pigs, the lotta dem!" Sneered someone, causing Triclops to roll his eyes as he recognized Kendalina's descriptive phrase.

"In short, she got booted from the Order because of me. But, because bein' a Jedi is something you spend yer whole life at, she's now out onna streets with no formal education, no practical skills, and no ability to get a job. Before, she mighta got a job because of the high position of the Jedi, but now that she's been kicked out, that's like saying she's a failure even at that an' can' even use THAT to find work. So, I've been tryin' to find her and bring her back."

"So, you need an extra set of eyes or eighteen." The self-appointed spokesperson said. It wasn't a question, and Kendalina didn't look surprised that she'd guessed correctly.

"Exactly." Kendalina agreed, nodding sagely. Several other women in the room looked around, almost uncomfortably at each other, as though they didn't know what to make of this.

"...Look... s'not like we dun wanna help buh..." One woman spoke up, looking hesitant, "...Screwin' roun' with the Jedah innent sumthin ya wanna get caugh' doin'nees days..."

"Lotta us inna lower levels been gettin' the down and dirty onna old man in office, now- 'airs been talk 'bout he's gonna get RID ovva Jedi, allem." Another added- half her jaw was missing and burned away, even if it was a sanitary injury, "I'meen- lookit wha' stupid guards didda me, jus'cuz wuz ad'a rally protes'n'a war."

"I'll agree the Chancellor is a bastard who needs ta get his ass kicked and sense knocked inna him, but that's no reason notta do something like this." Kendalina said, pacifyingly, but one of the women- a scrawny one who obviously got the shit kicked out of her daily- stood up and started to squeal.

"Jest callin' him a bloody baastaad isn't 'nuff- 'e's a righ' demon in 'Uman skin, 'e is. Me mum cuddin' e'en ged inna medcen'er wen s'ee 'ad me, because the bloody place said they cuddin' led in namore 'alf-breds inna nurs'ry or they'd lose fundin' fromma Sena'..." She said, and Triclops had to stare at his knees and pretend he couldn't hear it- more than once, he'd heard medics turning away pregnant women when the child was obviously fathered by a different species.

"And we actually have been hunted an' stuff- you Humans ferget that we're not REALLY dumb animals, an' 'em stupid troops come afta us like sport." Added another, before Triclops heard Kendalina slam her foot down onto the floor as she picked herself up and used her foot to seize the other woman by her collar and pull her up to face level.

"You're all the biggest bunch of cowards I ever met." Kendalina's words pierced the silence, sharper than any knife, before she continued, "You're pickin' fights with the troops, you're acting tough, and you're goin' 'round saying y'all wanna stick up for the gals who can't take care'a demselves, but any time the Chancellor gets involved, you scream 'Retreat- Run away!' and don't DO anything because you're too damn scared of him."

Triclops couldn't help but gape at Kendalina- on one hand, this was the same thing the Masters used to tell her about her boasts of being the Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived, but on the other, he was amazed to hear her shouting at all these women about being BRAVE. It almost seemed like someone had sent her deliberately to deliver the message.

"Y'all are just doin' what he WANTS! He WANTS y'all to be scared and not fight back. Look at what he's doin' in the Senate- he's got so much power, he doesn't NEED people to vote for him anymore, he could just TAKE the election, and nobody's fightin' back, because he's got them all scared and under his thumb. Here's a trick- try going to one of his public speeches and when he makes assertions about how 'Everything's going very well, I have we no doubt we'll find peace soon', shout out statistics of how many people are dying each day, and how BADLY we're doing, and how, if we'd have PEACE soon, he wouldn't keep accepting emergency powers that do things like take away our rights. It'll scare the living shit outta him- because you'll be right, and you'll be standing up against him, and in a huge crowd like that, how's he gonna know who ta sic his assassin on?"

There was a stunned silence as Kendalina finished her shouting, before a woman with large scales on her face spoke up from the corner.

"What doez Mazter Retaw lookz like?" She asked, with a siss of amusement. Kendalina turned to her with a big grin on her face.

* * *

"Have a seat, Medic Orewahime." The Chancellor invited, as Kendalina strode in. Apparently, the Chancellor knew in advance to offer her the seat, or she'd take it without being invited. Kendalina's expression didn't change, except to toss her hair slightly and remain standing. 

"I'd rather stand, thanks." She said, casually. The Chancellor blinked at her, taken off guard for a moment, before he regained his composure. Kendalina could almost see the gears turning in his head- the next time he invited her in, he would say 'Have a seat, or would you rather stand?' and then, Kendalina was prepared to play the game of indecision.

Why not? This was HER time he was wasting- she wasn't going to let him have it cheap.

"I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to come and see me on a day such as today..." The Chancellor began in that fake pleasant voice of his, "But, if you remember, today is the two year anniversary of you receiving your medical license... two years, it seems to have gone by so quickly, doesn't it?"

Kendalina wasn't sure how to respond- or, more accurately, she wasn't sure how to respond in a way that would be polite, but still keeping the upper hand in their conversation, so she ignored it. Faintly, she wondered how the Chancellor's fake-ass smile would falter if he knew she'd been conspiring with a gang from the lower levels to undermine his authority just the night before.

"Well, you're busy I'm sure, so I'll make this brief." The Chancellor continued, as though Kendalina's lack of response had been either a brief 'yes' or 'no', "Over the past two years, because you are still not yet of age, young Orewahime, the Senate has been required to keep an eye on you- welfare of the state and so forth- and it has been noted that you have made tremendous strides of progress in the field of medicine. Breakthroughs in the world of science, if I may say so. Clearly this indicates a great deal of potential for you- I'd daresay the Jedi Order had itself a genius in their midst, for you to learn so quickly and advance so prodigiously- to the point that it occurred to me that a position as a mere medic in a clinic on the lower levels is far beneath you."

Kendalina remained silent, but on the inside, she was sneering at every word that came out of the Chancellor's mouth, knowing what a load of bantha shit it was, his excitement and joy on her behalf more than anything else.

"As such, I have an offer to make to you- the position for the Chancery Physician of the Galactic Republic has become open quite recently. It is a very prestigious title- one which would no doubt be an incredible boost to your reputation and career, especially in the future as you decide to seek work in other fields, and would even give you enough credit that the Senate would willingly fund you if you ever turned to the research field. The position itself requires you remain on-call, but otherwise, the hours would be manageable on your own schedule, with a yearly salary that will triple in the first year, including benefits, sick leave, maternity leave, and paid vacation time."

Kendalina's stare didn't falter- she didn't even blink.

"So, you're offering me a new JOB?" She asked, slowly, pretending she didn't understand. The Chancellor laughed, amiably, before he pulled something out of his desk- it was a large packet of flimsiplast, with contracts, descriptions, notices of leave... the works, all typed in neat, helvetica font letters, with plenty of fine print at the bottom, and a nice, clean line that read 'Sign here.'

"This is all you need to fill out if you do so choose to accept the position- and I do say that I hope, for your sake, if nothing else, that you do accept. It would be incredibly advantageous for you to take the position, and the Republic needs an incredible young woman such as yourself- I can't imagine the chaos our medical system would be in, years from now, if we didn't have someone like you to lead the way, or at least provide a light."

Kendalina's hands were trembling, but she didn't let them shake too much. The choice being handed to her at this moment was too great- an opportunity that she SHOULDN'T pass up... after all, how many people could say they had the chance and opportunity to poison or influence such a bad Chancellor? But, on the other hand, it would look suspicious. Worse, it would be PLANNED- he was probably offering her this deal with the very thought in mind that Kendalina would try something to kill him and then he could have her executed without a problem. Or, what if he was trying to get her under his thumb so he could then order her off to the war front again.

No, it was WAY too suspicious. But then, how was she supposed to handle this? After all she'd said that morning about standing up to the Chancellor and fighting back, would she just walk away from this, politely declining in the privacy and solitude of his office? No- that would look even WORSE. It would pretty much guarantee that she'd lose her job in the medcenter she was at now if she declined an important and prestigious offer like this.

Damn... this old, shitty geezer was GOOD... Better than Kendalina had expected.

...But... two minds worked better than one, they always said...

"Your Excellency, I cannot give you a definite answer right now- may I please take these forms home with me and discuss it with my roommate? He might have objections and everyone should have a voice in this decision." Kendalina asked, doing her best to act hesitant. The Chancellor smiled, reassuringly at her.

"Oh, I absolutely agree with you- yes, please do take those home and speak with your... roommate, you said?... about it."

* * *

"Kendalina, you cannot possibly be considering...?" Triclops stammered, staring at the packet of documents that Kendalina was displaying. Several of the Furies agreed as they cast mistrusting glares at the official seal of the Chancellor at the head of the flimsiplast. Kendalina, however, was smirking.

"Oh, I'm considering, alright. Just not what HE wants me to consider..." She mused, shifting through the pieces with fine print and agreements on them, before she pulled out one of her paper books on legalese, "Right here at the bottom of this contract, it essentially says that, by signing it, I also become part of the army and have to do ANYthing the Chancellor tells me to. If he told me to put poison in the drinks of all his cabinet, I'd have to do it, or lose my job- furthermore, if I refused any order that he gave me, he could legally have me tried for contempt of the government and treason and incarcerated or put to death. And if his order was illegal, he could try me for whatever the crime was and the same result."

Triclops' expression became panicked as Kendalina shifted again and found the insurance policy that came with the position.

"And this policy requires monthly payments- deducted from my paycheck- which will build a cash value, so it's essentially having a savings account in my life insurance with the reward amount, except there are four rules. One, if I put money into the cash value, the state will invest it into the financial market and earn 8-10 profit from the interest. Two, the interest I will earn will be, at most, 5. Three, if I ever want to take my own money out of the account, I will not be allowed to WITHDRAW it, but they will LOAN it to me with 18-25 interest in the payback. And fourth, if I DIE, all the money I put into the account in my life will not be given to my beneficiary, but kept by the state."

Triclops and most of the Furies stared at her, except for a few with a little more literacy in financial matters.

"In short, I'm going to get money taken away from me and go straight to the government, without giving me anything in return for it. There's a word for that- larceny." Kendalina surmised, glaring at the files, "Damn it- stuff like this shouldn't be legal... but he gets away with it because we've got a fucking war going on."

"And, coincidentally..." One woman put in, putting heavy sarcastic emphasis on the word 'coincidentally', "If you accept, you're screwed, but if you turn him down, he can publicly announce that you told him to fuck off, tweak the story 'nuff that it makes you look bad, and you lose your position in the medcenter- hell, he might take you AND three-eyes here down, if you say that your roommate had objections or somethin' like that." Triclops shivered, before he heard Kendalina snicker.

"IF I turned him down in a private letter or conference. But if I made it public, then he wouldn't be able to do anything, because the Courts and the Senate would take up the legality of some of these contract points- granted, they probably won't have any effect, or Wrinkles'll brush it off as being an emergency issue, but there are some key Senators that we can appeal to that will make the case drag on for so long that His All-High-Eskness won't be able to push the executive action through, or he'll eventually figure it's just not worth it." Kendalina was looking through all of her documents, before she took something else out of her pocket- a small holo projector that, when it switched on, a faint, blue code of letters appeared in a contract that had the Chancellor's signature on the bottom.

"Kendalina... is that a security clearance pass?" Triclops asked, quietly. Kendalina's smirk made her whole face gleam blue and her eyes glittered with a manic expression that made her almost look like a younger, female version of the very Chancellor she was mocking.

"You betcha it is- the Chancellor gave me this to allow me passage into the government building, so that I could either accept and give him the necessary paperwork with my signatures and filled out information, or return it all to him and tell him to go to hell." Kendalina waved the chip between her fingers, before she zoomed in, "And lookie here- he forgot to fill in the limitations clause completely. There's nothing under this pass that says I am forbidden from specific buildings, except the prison, which only the Chancellor himself has access to except the guards on staff. If I wanted to, this clearance pass would let me into the Senate room while there's a council in session."

Triclops suddenly sat up, very quickly.

"Kendalina, do not!" He said, faster than any of the other women could have guessed what was going through their newly appointed leader's mind, "Do not try to bring this to the Senate floor- it is too easy. What if the Chancellor set it up like this? What if he deliberately made this pass easy for you to find a loophole? Please, I am begging you- do not walk right into his setup!"

Kendalina's snickering was turning into a loud, almost maniacal, laugh. Several women, as well as Triclops, stared at her, as Kendalina flopped over backwards and started to laugh in a manner which was slowly becoming almost sarcastic in how over enthusiastic it was, as though someone had just told her the funniest joke in the world, and she was only laughing to say 'It's not funny at all, and I'm spitting in your faces about it.'

"I'm not GOING to go to the Senate Floor." Kendalina explained, at the duped look on their faces when she abruptly stopped laughing and sat back up, "At least, not alone- however, since you gals gave me some very special insight to the flaws in our government system, it occurred to me that some particular Senators might be VERY interested in hearing about these breaches in our laws..."

Triclops frowned for a moment, before he suddenly smiled, knowing how the gears were turning in his roommate's head.

"But, before I humbly bring these breaches to the attention of the authorities, I'm gonna need evidence. After all, who's gon' believe a medic makin' her livin' in the lowest levels with the dregs of society? They'll just think it's a normal complaint or just something wrong with the specific clinic I work in. I need this kind of info from ALL over the planet."

All the Furies' faces split into wicked grins that made Triclops shiver, as he was the only, and rather helpless, male in the room. It didn't help that the women usually gave him a look like he was fresh meat or that he didn't belong in the Furies company, but now, these looks were all being directed at Kendalina.

"How quickly doez Princesz wantz these onez to get information?" Asked one scaly faced woman, her tongue flickering out as Kendalina grinned at her.

"There's gonna be a Senate Council being held in a month on the 15th. To make a complaint to a Senator, and for it to be effective, they need to be contacted at least a week in advance." Kendalina said, slowly, then pretended to struggle with the math. Another woman in the room leered.

"Sho... shix weeksh 'til de daye? We kin dew 'at..."

It was the same woman who Kendalina had first treated with the epidemic of tetanus. A genuine smile crept onto Kendalina's lips, before one woman spoke up.

"I kahn' be in on ze infohrmachion gaahzering- me an' a few of ze ozzehr gehrls... Vee'hre gohgin' be out of hresehrves..." It was a timid member of the group, one who was known to be a poor fighter, but her night vision, hearing, smell, and knowledge of weaponry made her a valuable information broker and lookout. Kendalina still didn't know anyone's names- nobody had really TOLD her how to address them, content for Kendalina to just point to them as she regarded the individuals. And, Kendalina, supposed, she didn't want to push anyone into giving up something like their name.

She could respect the sacredness of names, especially since most of these girls had apparently made up their own names.

"Why not?" Kendalina asked- it wasn't a demand of 'Why the hell not?' but she still needed to know. After all, if one of the Furies was becoming a stoolie and reporting their activities to the Chancellor, that was bad news, and if one of their best members was getting sick or something, that was even worse.

The woman grinned- the half of her face with the slash marks on it twisted, as though protesting the treatment.

"Eef evehryone elss is gaazehring infohrmachion, somevun haas to be on ze Hretaw Hretchrieval Sqvad, do zey not?" Kendalina let her upper half fall down onto one arm that supported her by the elbow, smiling slightly at the words 'Retaw Retrieval Squad'.

"Thanks girls."

* * *

The walk to their nightshift was mostly uneventful, except the roommates held hands, like they had been doing for the past week and a half. It was a strange bond between them- friends since childhood, who'd shared everything from words, to clothes, to food, to even the same bed for years now. Triclops was starting to grow taller and taller, even for entering his fifteenth year, while Kendalina mostly stayed the same. Her growth spurt was apparently over at just thirteen, though the excess of caffeine in her diet might have also been responsible for that. 

Now, they weren't just friends. They were roommates, a working pair, partners in crime, and somewhat lovers, if one ignored the fact that they hadn't done more than hold hands and eat dinners and lunches together.

Kendalina found her progression forward hindered as Triclops had apparently stopped in his tracks, staring at something behind them. After a few moments of her feet rising and falling against the walk without any movement, she turned and made a face at Triclops, only to start giggling when she saw he had his front two eyes closed, a small smile on his lips, and a pink flush on his cheeks as a couple behind them walked with their three-year-old swinging from their hands.

"Aww... Trike, did you wanna get a little one of our own?" She asked, teasing. The color in Triclops' cheeks increased, but whether it was because he was taking Kendalina literally or imagining the two of them walking together, holding the hands of a child-shaped doll or other toy baby creature, Kendalina wasn't sure.

Eventually, Triclops' front eyes opened and they began their trek to the medcenter again, but the next time, Kendalina stopped, quite abruptly.

"Triclops... I thought we had a talk about this personal space issue..." She said, slowly and clearly, as she turned to give Triclops a sharp look. Triclops was blinking at her with an expression that beautifully combined innocent, hurt, and pleading.

"...Were you including kisses in that, too?" He asked, with a look of a puppy that's been kicked. Kendalina quirked an eyebrow before she smirked and stood up on her tiptoes, not even coming close to Triclops' face until he bent down and met her.

"Now get your hand off my ass until we get back home."

* * *

Triclops found Kendalina the next afternoon, still in bed. The Furies were starting to get mad that Kendalina wouldn't let them into the apartment and eventually sent Triclops in, holding him personally responsible for whatever it was that had made her barricade the door. 

Later, he reflected, it was entirely appropriate seeing as how he technically WAS responsible for the state that she was in.

"Kenda... Are you... going to be okay?" He asked, but Kendalina didn't budge from where she was, staring into the corner, curled up in a ball.

"Are you sick? Or is this just unwillingness to get out of bed?" Triclops pressed, but Kendalina didn't respond, until he came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Trike..." Kendalina whispered, "...You remember... the... things that happened... that the Council used to get Master Retaw kicked out, right?" Triclops froze, then sat down behind her.

"I try not to... but yes." He replied, but didn't quite see how that was bothering Kendalina so much.

"...Did it ever make you wonder about your real parents? Like, if they were like that Baron, anyway, and would have treated you like that? Or if they actually cared about you? Or if they were even still alive?" Kendalina asked, in a tone so unlike Kendalina that Triclops wanted to know WHAT had happened to her to do this.

"...No, not really... As soon as the incident was over, I was put in a holding cell for a year, and most of the time, that other me was conscious... then, you broke me out, brought me here, and we have been keeping busy ever since." Kendalina still didn't look at him.

"Kenda... Why are you asking me? Did you find something out about it?" Triclops put a hand on Kendalina's shoulder and realized that she was shaking... Kendalina, in all the time Triclops had known her, had never shivered like this. In the years they'd been living in this apartment, Kendalina had been the stronger of the two of them, emotionally and physically, with Triclops crying in her stead. And in the past, even if Kendalina had gotten scared or upset, she'd never, EVER trembled like this.

"Triclops..." She whispered, "I'm pregnant."

Triclops blinked for a few moments, before his initial reaction, which was,

"Excuse me?" He asked, feeling sure that he'd heard her wrong or her voice wasn't working correctly or some noise in the background had coincided at the exact same brief moment to jumble her words... Triclops was even willing to accept that maybe it was a joke or a prank or the very air itself was deliberately distorting the sound waves between them so words came out incorrectly.

"I can't do this... I can't be a mother... Not now..." Kendalina whispered, trembling quite badly. Triclops put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing in an attempt to soothe her, but all it did was agitate her, "I CAN'T, TRIKE, YOU HEAR? I CAN'T! I'll just screw it up! I don't know how, but I will- maybe I'll start smoking or get beaten on my way home from my shift one night or the others in the gang'll... no, I know what- I'll lose my position at the medcenter because I'm underage and been screwin' 'round and the kid'll be a mixed breed anyway 'cuz of YOU-" Triclops did his best not to flinch at the venom in Kendalina's voice as she pointed at him, and it was quickly repressed as her rambling became less jointed,

"And then, I'll get so depressed I'll start drinking and that'll screw the kid up, and when she's fin'lly born, I'll start beatin' her and you and then you'll leave, and she'll be left with just rotten, old, bitchy mom and the girls in the Furies'll start havin' ta take care of her, 'cept I'll be takin' out all my problems on them till they leave me and then I'll never find Master Retaw or you or her again an'..." Kendalina was tearing at her hair, as though determined to yank it out of her skull, before Triclops saw his hand shoot out and pull her arms away from her head.

"Stop being hysterical, woman." Triclops didn't recognize the voice- it FELT like it came from his throat, but he knew it couldn't be, because his voice sounded different, until he realized his lips were moving, saying words that he wasn't even thinking, "Having a breakdown like this isn't gonna help- you're in this mess, now, and since you're so damned sure that all this shit is gonna happen to you, what can you do to prevent it?"

Triclops saw Kendalina's shuddering stop before she looked up and Triclops was shocked to see that there was something else in her eyes- he could see the real Kendalina, but it was like she was hiding, or trapped, behind something that was only the littlest bit transparent.

"I'm waiting. And the little boy back here is waiting, too."

Boy? What boy? There wasn't anyone else in the room with them...

Not-Kendalina stared for a moment, before a shudder went through her body and Triclops saw that old resilience return to her eyes.

"I'm back out- now let me see Triclops." The old bossy tone to her voice was back, as was the strength in her arms. Triclops blinked and was happy to find he was back in control of his body.

"Kenda..." He whispered, before Kendalina looked away.

"...I'm not going to take it back..." She finally said, slowly, but at least her voice wasn't cracking, "...I can't be a mother. Not now. Not yet."

Triclops nodded, even though he didn't understand why Kendalina had just had such a meltdown, whereas before, she would have gotten angry instead of screaming and crying the way she had been. Kendalina didn't meet his eyes for the longest of moments, before she finally sighed and put her arms around Triclops' neck, pulling his forehead down to rest on her shoulder.

"...I know it seems weird... but since Master Retaw was expelled, I guess I started to kind of copy you... to deal with all the emotional, feminine stuff that I just couldn't afford to have on the surface anymore... this other half of me sort of... just emerged... everything that I couldn't deal with, I just sort of passed it all off to her... all my fears, all my libido urges, all those qualities that were too girly for a medic and an adult... I mean, before Master Retaw got kicked out, I probably could have been coaxed into a dress or to wear pink without too much of a screaming match or a fight, while now, it's like pulling teeth to even make me shave my legs or wash my face."

Triclops almost would have laughed, except he, himself, had tried to manage those feats with very little success. Kendalina fell silent again, before she seemed to compose herself.

"Well... You... you might want to..." Kendalina cleared her throat, "...go out and tell the girls I'm just sick... say that I must've gotten food poisoning from what I ate last night." Triclops nodded, slowly, knowing that Kendalina must have called in sick for her shift already. He'd be going to the medcenter alone, this night.

"What are you going to be doing, then?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina smiled, though sadly at him.

"I'm going to be working out away to take care of this." She said, and the guilt in her tone made Triclops panic, for the briefest of moments.

"Kenda... you cannot mean..." His voice trailed off at the look on Kendalina's face. Her eyes were sharp, but sad, her expression pained, but determined. She had made up her mind, even though the choice was difficult, and there was no arguing with her now.

Kendalina's gray, blind eyes flickered over to meet Triclops' gaze for a moment, even though he knew that she couldn't see him with them, before she said, slowly,

"Trike- I'm thirteen. Even if I did carry to term, I wouldn't be able to withstand the strain. In so many teenage pregnancies, the kidneys stop functioning, major organs begin to bleed internally, and the brain hemorrhages. I'd die in childbirth and so would the baby." Kendalina's eyes met his, exactly, "And then, where would YOU be?"

Triclops stared at her for a moment, before he felt his face crush inwards and closed his eyes to stop them from stinging. He heard Kendalina sigh, then her arms were around his head pulling him against her chest.

"It'll be okay." She whispered, "I know what I'm doing, and it's for the better of two options."

Triclops didn't answer, but after a moment, reached up and undid the zipper on her shirt from her neck down to her belly.

"...Trike?" Kendalina's voice was warning, but gently so, as he started to press kisses along her chest in a line straight down the center, before he looked up at her with pleading eyes. Triclops saw Kendalina's expression soften, just for a moment, before she closed her eyes and let him continue. Triclops continued down until he stopped over Kendalina's abdomen, kissing right under her naval before he turned his head and pressed his ear against it, as though he thought he'd hear a heartbeat other than Kendalina's.

* * *

"Alright girls- we have ourselves a HARD! WON! VIC-TOR-AH! Who wansa go out an' celebrate?" Kendalina asked as all the other women in the apartment raised their hands. The issue of the pregnancy had gone past without much of a disturbance from the Furies, and the Senate session had gone well enough. Right now, Triclops was looking at Kendalina with sheer pride glowing in his face- she'd even gotten a message from the Temple, and while Kendalina hadn't told him what it had said, the grin on her face was leaving him feeling incredibly positive- he wasn't about to stop her from having some fun. 

All the women cheered as Kendalina raised her fist into the air and all of them left. Triclops remained in the apartment, not one for drinking, as a bar was undoubtedly where Kendalina would be headed, but the little stuffed kitten she'd gotten for him the other day was more than enough to keep him entertained.

Kendalina, on the other hand, strode boldly down the street before her comm link went off- she wasn't surprised. Her stunt in the Senate Hall today had gotten a LOT of attention from medcenters, and the last few hours had mostly been her receiving messages from different directors who wanted her on their staff. Kendalina hadn't accepted any, but she hadn't turned them down, either, trying to figure out if there was a way for her to somehow be in more than one place at a time so she could be wherever the patients needed her- well, she HAD a method... but it wasn't effective, just yet. This message, however, was from one of the Furies who wasn't going drinking with her.

"This is Princess, what's your position?" She said, in a somewhat worried tone- not many times did one of the girls call her like this, so it had to be important. The voice on the other end was hushed and hurried.

"A bar in the lower levels of Sector 46- this woman just left, being pulled along by some guy, and I think he drugged her or something. Should I go after them, or do you want to deal with this yourself?" The voice responded. Kendalina frowned a bit, then replied.

"Follow them, but keep me updated- I'll deal with it." Kendalina stuffed her comm back into her pocket, apologized to the girls, promised to pick up the tab if they saved the receipt, and then took off like a bat out of Hell to Sector 46. But when she reached there, tailing the Fury who had spotted the man with the drugged woman, she almost stopped short.

It was Master Retaw. The woman who had been drugged had her hair growing in dirty, uneven sections, skin broken up like scales on a crocodile, pointed ears that her matted hair didn't cover, and a tattered, tan shirt that didn't come even close to holding in her immense breasts- which the man was touching in a very unappreciated, unfriendly manner- or keeping her lower half decently covered... but it was Master Retaw alright. Kendalina couldn't do anything but stand and stare, before the man gave Master Retaw a shove into an alleyway- she HAD to have been drugged, because the Master Retaw Kendalina knew NEVER would have let a man touch her like that without at least giving him a sock in the jaw- which woke Kendalina from her stupor.

Kendalina vaulted over the building just in time to see the man attempt to punch Master Retaw across the face. Before he could even get his arm back all the way, Kendalina jumped and kicked him hard in the face, sending him even deeper into the alleyway. The man screamed for a moment before he looked up to see a very pissed Kendalina glaring at him.

"If you even think about touching Master Retaw, I'll kill you, you asswipe." Kendalina snarled. The man got back to his feet and pulled a blaster out of his pocket, aiming it at Kendalina, but she wasn't scared- something inside her had just lost the ability to be afraid, or maybe she just was no longer effected by something as trivial as a blaster. After a long staring contest, as the man took several steps forward, threatening to shoot if Kendalina tried to stop him, but Kendalina didn't care- she just got Master Retaw back, and she was so close to being able to bring her back to the woman she had been, and she was NOT going to let her die when she was THIS CLOSE! This man...

This man was going to die. And if he tried to hurt Master Retaw, he'd get it back, a hundred times more.

The buildings all around collapsed. Huge clouds of dust rose up into the air, making it impossible to see, but Kendalina knew what was happening, and the dust didn't even clear before the buildings were righted again and the man was left, beaten and bloodied in the alleyway.

With a small snort out of her nose and a turn on her heel, Kendalina picked up Master Retaw and carried her out, and home.

To her real home.

* * *

Mehgan's head was swimming- she didn't know WHAT that guy had put in her drink, but it had her out, good. She just thought she saw the statues of the Four Masters at the Temple... and that Kendalina had been carrying her over her shoulder... and Triclops had been following them. It made no sense, but that's usually how hallucinations were when you were drunk. 

But hey- Kendalina and Triclops were alive, well, and together, and she was going back home? Why was that something to complain about? That was also a weird aspect of hallucinations and dreams- whenever she had them, no matter how strange they were, she never questioned them. She'd had a dream, one night, about how Kendalina had left the Temple, abducted Triclops from his holding cell, and disappeared to a broken-down apartment on the lower level, and then another, on a different night, featuring her old apprentice, yet again, becoming a fully-licensed medic and working on staff in a medcenter, and then another about Triclops, where he was rocking a small child to sleep in a room full of dozens of other little infants, or one about Mehgan's old friend and fellow padawan, Depa Billaba, except she had fallen to the Dark Side and was now a living corpse in suspended animation. But Mehgan never questioned it- after all, they were dreams, and she was in them.

It was only after she woke up that she had the capacity to question how impossible they were. And even then- some mornings, she woke up with such horrible headaches, hangovers, and other ailments that it was a miracle her body was still functioning.

Or maybe it wasn't- maybe this was the Hell she'd been allotted, and that man's date-rape pill had finally poisoned her. After all, what could be more Hellish than going BACK to the place that had refused to accept how much she'd cared for her apprentice, and how she'd more or less adopted that boy as her son, and now, she was being sent back to Master Windu's scornful glare and forced to watch Kendalina and Triclops lead a happy life together, leaving her behind and Depa turning her back on her friend.

But was this really Hell? Mehgan felt something... well, warm, for one thing, on her feet, but it wasn't the coals or flames like the stories all said- it was more like a tub of warm water around her toes. And then, up on her forehead, there was something chilled, but not freezing, ice cold.

And then, Mehgan felt her lungs heave and with a cough she felt something on her abdomen, just underneath the bust she'd recently gained. That much of Kendalina's promise had been fulfilled- Nobody could call her 'Flat-Chest-Retaw' anymore. But, knowing a living creature's propensity for cruelty, they'd just change the nicknames... maybe something like 'Dairy-Farm-Jugs' or 'Bald-Head-Boobs' or something along those lines.

"Kendalina, is she awake, yet?"

Actually, it would be more of something incorporating her actual name into it... 'Mega-Milker-Maggie'? That didn't sound right, but then, it was her own insulting nicknames she was pondering here...

"Not yeh- jus' gimme a few more minu'ss geddis shi' ou'a her sys'em."

Wait, who was that, talking? That voice sounded familiar...

"She does not look too bad, now... It must just be a little more left..."

Maybe this really WAS Hell- after all, Kendalina had always admitted, or more like bragged, that she was going to Hell, and Triclops had been convinced of it, too, after that first, however accidental, kill. But then, you know what they said- 'Heaven for the weather or Hell for the company.'

"I dun' think tha's all... Trike, go ge' some wa'er... an' see if the Food Hall has anythin' good."

Or maybe it wasn't really Hell, per se... after all, in Hell, they wouldn't let the three of them be together... they'd be separated. Maybe this was some kind of Purgatory... temporary Hell, and easier to swallow because she had them with her...

"Do not worry, Kenda. I have brought our food from the apartment- there should be something good in here."

...Wait...

Mehgan Retaw sat straight up, vision blurring, before she spun around and saw, vaguely, the outline of Kendalina's face as she'd been tending to her medical issues. Mehgan stared for a good, long moment, taking in all the changes in Kendalina's face.

Her eyes were still gray, but they had narrowed, just the slightest bit, and had the look of a sharp, young woman, always ready to fight or defend, but focused thoroughly in the moment. Her face had changed to square-shaped, with a heavy chin- Mehgan would have mistaken her for an effeminate boy if she hadn't known any better. She'd chopped her hair short, but it was somehow fitting, given Kendalina's face, as her bangs flopped over half her face and pieces were short in some areas and long in others.

Kendalina... was not a girl anymore. She was a woman, now.

"I do not think food will be easy to persuade her into, now..." Triclops' voice said, behind her. Kendalina grinned a wide smile that exposed some of her gums. It made Mehgan's cheeks hurt just to look at it.

"Welcome home, Master Retaw- Master Windu decided to stop being an ass, an' now, you're getting a second chance."

Mehgan stared at Kendalina for a long moment, before she turned and looked back at the man Triclops had become, before she pulled them both into a hug, like the sentimental mother she was, happy that her little ones were safe, together, and with her, once again.

* * *

"As you might not have realized, Padawan Orewahime made a very poignant observation about your expulsion that the Council felt was... unjust, to say the least." Master Windu's tone was different from one that Kendalina had ever heard from him- maybe he wasn't so bad after all. 

Or maybe he was being a bloody coward. Kendalina didn't know, but she wasn't about to check the date on a bottle of gift-wine. Master Retaw stood beside her, newly attired in the brown robe that Triclops had made for her out of the brown tunic they'd bought so long ago, only to discover Master Retaw's measurements had changed quite drastically and the shirt would never have fit, anyway. So, here Master Retaw was, looking like an official Jedi Knight, brown-robe and all, and the Council was officially accepting her back in.

"Being a Jedi is a commitment that begins from the moment a child is born, and does not leave any room for the person to receive a formal education or degree that would enable them to survive in the world outside the jurisdiction of the Jedi Temple. As such, expulsion could also be considered as an indirect death sentence or marooning, and the Council feels that your actions which we had originally expelled you for were not enough to earn a harsh sentence like that. Therefore, you will be allowed to rejoin the Jedi Order, under specific conditions- you will only be allowed to carry your lightsaber with you on missions off-planet, and you must find another apprentice, immediately." Despite being nicer now, Master Windu was still being severely harsh, but since Master Retaw's smile wasn't fading, Kendalina supposed it wasn't anything to be worried about.

"I accept those conditions, Master Windu, and I thank the Council for being so generous." Master Retaw bowed, and Kendalina did the same, but on the inside, she was celebrating. It wasn't until Master Windu turned to her that she straightened up.

"As for Padawan Orewahime- you will be permitted to continue with your work in medicine, but this Council will require you to spend at least an hour each day in the Education Corps Headquarters- medics are rare to come by these days and the advances you have made need to be properly recorded and made fit for others in your field to study. This will be in effect until you either become the legal age of 21, or until you are promoted past the level of Padawan." Kendalina nodded, solemnly, knowing that she was in no position to try wheedling her way out of it- Master Windu had a good point about the studying, and it wasn't going to be permanent. Besides that, Triclops still needed to stay with her. Whether that would be in the dormitories in the Temple or in their own apartment was irrelevant.

Kendalina bowed again, and turned to leave, but Master Retaw put a hand on her shoulder, remaining in place. The Council did not seem surprised.

"Jedi Retaw, something more to say, have you?" Master Yoda asked, as Master Retaw nodded.

"I have a request to make of the Council." She said, simply. There were a few glances around the room, as though the Masters were asking themselves 'Is she out of her mind?' or 'Oh, do you now?' Kendalina was almost tempted to bury her face in her hands and scream at her Master not to push her luck, but Master Yoda didn't seem to mind.

"What kind of request?" He asked. Master Retaw was silent for a moment- one moment that drew out like infinity, to the point that Kendalina wondered if someone had stopped time, before she finally answered.

"I would like to submit my Padawan, Kendalina Orewahime, for the Jedi Trials."

A/N: HA HA HA! CLIFFHANGER!

And this chapter's finally DONE! The next one will be horrible and bloody and gorey, and the one after that will explain what happened at the Senate floor, because it is a BITCHING long scene.


	23. Part III: Chapter 7

By Sapadu

Chapter 7: Desolate

des·o·late /adj. ˈdɛsəlɪt; v. ˈdɛsəˌleɪt/ Pronunciation Key - [adj. **des**-_uh_-lit; v. **des**-_uh_-leyt adjective, verb, -lat·ed, -lat·ing

–adjective

1. barren or laid waste; devastated

2. deprived or destitute of inhabitants; deserted; uninhabited

3. solitary; lonely

4. having the feeling of being abandoned by friends or by hope; forlorn

5. dreary; dismal; gloomy

–verb (used with object)

6. to lay waste; devastate

7. to deprive of inhabitants; depopulate

8. to make disconsolate

9. to forsake or abandon

"Well... whaddya think?" Kendalina turned around, arms spread for her teacher's inspection, as Master Retaw surveyed Kendalina's Jedi Knight robes with a strange look on her face. Kendalina's robes had changed from her normal tomboy-ish clothes and were finally cut as according to female physiology, albeit many sizes smaller, due to her age and stunted stature. In fact, she almost wore a tunic similar to Master Yoda's, save for the size difference.

Master Retaw humorlessly stopped Kendalina's spinning and gave her a pat-down similar to what troops did to suspects in robberies or murders. Kendalina would have rolled her eyes, but those muscles were tired, so she refrained, until Master Retaw finished her inspection.

"You're a Knight, now." She finally declared, blandly. Kendalina blinked, as though expecting something else.

"...Yeah... and..." She said, prompting, but Master Retaw just shrugged.

"...So... You're a Knight, then..." Master Retaw repeated. Kendalina's brow furrowed.

"Is that ALL?" She asked, and when Master Retaw's expression remained neutral, Kendalina said, a little louder, "You say 'So, you're-' whatever when it's something MINOR! I just became a KNIGHT- those Trials were damn hard." Master Retaw raised an eyebrow.

"That's a fine thing for you to say when you didn't even take the official Trials, but were just granted the rank because of your deeds while living on your own." Master Retaw pointed out, mildly, while Kendalina snorted, with a huff.

"That was hard, too!" She insisted, indignantly, before she saw the corner of her teacher's mouth twitch and realized she was being teased, "Oh, shut up."

"I didn't SAY anything." Master Retaw said, innocently as Kendalina turned away, disgusted.

"You were THINKING it." She said, but didn't really mean it- she just knew that Master Retaw was expecting her to act like this. After a moment, she heard Master Retaw start to snicker, then chuckle, then outright laugh. Kendalina let a grin split across her face and started to laugh, too.

When they'd both sobered, Kendalina gave her Master a Look.

"So, have I made you proud?" She asked, in a serious voice, and Master Retaw seemed to understand that she wasn't just talking about the promotion as she smiled back.

"Indeed you have... I am very proud of my Padawan, right now." She said, quietly, before she sobered, "Do you know what this means?"

Kendalina grinned, her gums peeking out from her mouth again.

"Yeah- I've gotta get an apprentice!" She said, gleefully. Master Retaw blinked for a moment, then sighed.

"Will you ever truly, completely grow up?" She asked, though not with malice. Kendalina's grin spread even wider.

"Nope-never! It's my number one defense against Sith-hood!" Kendalina bragged, causing her Master's eyebrows to near her hairline before Kendalina continued, "Come on- when was the last time you saw a Sith in a toy store? Not for a long time, I'll bet!"

Master Retaw gave Kendalina a long stare with a strange emotion behind it, before she finally shook her head, pulling her hair out of the two sections she normally held it in and gathering it into one, long tail in the back of her head.

"Then, hop to it. Before the day is out, I expect to see you training a padawan to be the Second Greatest Jedi, since you've already called dibs on the First place..." Master Retaw's tone was somewhat joking, before Kendalina reached up and silenced her teacher with a finger.

"Master Retaw, that's an insult- do you REALLY think I'll let any student of MINE be 'Second Greatest'? No, MY padawan will be my SUCCESSOR for the title 'Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived'." Master Retaw looked as though someone had just brought a mallet down between her eyes, staring at her Padawan- no, her FORMER STUDENT- with a dazed expression, "That's part of being the Greatest- ya gotta learn to let go and pass it on!"

Master Retaw blinked at Kendalina for a long, long time, before she smiled, softly.

"You HAVE grown up." She said, quietly. Kendalina grinned, before she left, and Master Retaw turned to the transports- she had a mission to get to.

* * *

"You are leaving? Today?" Triclops asked, as Kendalina broke the news. She sighed, then put her hands on her hips, but it was in a way that made Triclops think she wasn't upset with him, or possibly might have had good news.

"No- tomorrow. The Council told me about a problem the Separatists are causing- some sort of genetic weapon, like a manufactured disease- on one of the planets on the Outer Rim. They want to have me assess the situation, find out what it's doing, figure out a cure, and then save as many civilians as I can. But, for it to be successful, I need adequate supplies, and that won't arrive until tomorrow. So, I've got one more night."

Kendalina gave Triclops a sly smile that he didn't match.

"This is not a time to joke, Kenda." He said, quietly, before Kendalina rolled her eyes and stood on her tiptoes to give him a hug.

"I'll be fine- who do you think you're talking to, anyway?" She asked, and Triclops finally wrapped his arms around her waist, sitting down on the mattress they shared and pulling her with him.

"Is your apprentice going with you?" Kendalina nodded- Triclops could feel her hair brush against his cheek, "What is her name again? Something with a 'Krill', just like yours, right?" Kendalina pulled her head back and pecked Triclops' cheek lightly with her lips.

"Kao-Lin, yeah. She's a little troublemaker- kinda like me. Always nicking stuff from the Banquet Halls- she even stole the parts to make a lightsaber when the other younglings were just learning how to walk. I'm tryin' to whip some useful skills into her- she could be really great if she didn't mostly use those pickpocketing tricks of her to sneak cookies into her room." Kendalina replied, curled up on her lover's lap. Triclops just continued to nod, the sound of Kendalina's voice relaxing him.

"Was she not the little imp who asked you 'Why are you dressed like Master Yoda?' on the first day you met her?" Triclops asked, "And you were almost ready to throttle her, because you thought she was calling you short." Kendalina's face twisted at the memory, even as Triclops hid a smile.

"Well, she WAS." Kendalina insisted, but Triclops mostly nodded, just to humor her, "Oh, hush you." Kendalina mumbled before she gave him a kiss.

The next morning, Triclops woke up alone and wished that Kendalina and Master Retaw wouldn't be gone long before he dressed and left for the medcenter.

* * *

A year passed before Triclops heard any word from either Kendalina or Master Retaw- it was exactly a year to the day since she'd left that he received a message on the HoloNet that Master Retaw had found another apprentice, out on the Outer Rims where she was on her mission and would be returning to the Temple. Inside, Triclops had been torn between rejoicing and being disappointed that he'd heard no such word from Kendalina.

It was also that day that he had a nightmare as he slept to prepare for his nightshift- this one different from the ones he'd ever had before. It was that other side of him again, whispering things in his ear about the Chancellor and the Dark Side and the destruction of the Jedi. And then, Triclops saw so many things at once.

A fire...

Two men completely in black...

The Jedi Temple...

Halls and halls littered with bodies of younglings...

Yellow eyes rimmed with red...

Triclops awoke, but didn't sit up for a long time, before he forced himself out of bed and down to the HoloNet station, frantically typing in the code for Master Retaw's ship. Her answer was quick, but confused.

' ' Did you miss me already? ' ' Her voice asked, teasing over the HoloComm, but Triclops was in too much of a panic to take the joke.

"Do not return." He said, breathlessly. Master Retaw made a very puzzled noise, before Triclops repeated, trying to explain, "There is something dangerous coming to the Temple- Do not return here. You will only be putting yourself in danger. Please, if you find contact with Kendalina, tell her the same thing: Something dangerous is coming to the Temple. Something that will destroy the Jedi."

Master Retaw tried to make calming noises over the comm, eventually coaxing Triclops to be quiet long enough for her to get a word in.

' ' You DREAMED about this? ' ' She asked, calmly, as Triclops nodded, then remembered that Master Retaw couldn't see him, and spoke, "Tell me exactly what it was that you dreamed about."

Triclops took a deep breath and began to speak, although rather quickly, almost rambling. He told her everything he could remember, and was somewhat alarmed that, the more he tried to remember specifics in the dream, they were hard to remember- almost as though he were trying to catch a slippery, skinny fish, and the closer and tighter his hands closed around it, the faster and easier it slipped away. Even as he spoke to Master Retaw, the fragments he remembered were becoming dimmer, leaving only a sense in his gut, and nothing more.

"I... wait... no, it is gone... now... Master Retaw, you understand, do you not?" Triclops finally stammered, but no sound came through the comm for several minutes, "Master Retaw? ...Master Retaw, do you copy?"

There was a crackling sound on the other end of the comm, before Master Retaw's voice came out clear again.

' ' Triclops, get out of the Temple. ' ' Static continued to buzz the connection, but Master Retaw kept talking, ' ' Take some younglings with you... or alert the Masters... or just run... but get out. Now. ' ' Triclops frowned, before tapping on the volume key, trying to get a clearer message, ' ' Wait... Wait, Arfive... No, stabilize... ' '

There was a click and the comm went dead.

Triclops got out of the HoloNet station and went running for an alarm switch. He threw it, but the alarm was silent and the lights refused to flash. All Triclops heard was the sputtering of a wire that had been snapped. Triclops released the trigger and threw it a few more times, only to hear the same sputtering, until a chord came flopping down from the ceiling, sparks spitting from it's shuddering tip until Triclops cut the power again.

Someone had cut the wires.

Triclops broke into a run, tailing for the dormitories of the younglings and Masters, panicked to find that his cries went echoing off the walls without notice. The Knights and their Padawans ignored Triclops as he threw open doors to rooms, telling them to run and find cover somewhere- either they believed he was crying wolf, as the Knights had maintained for six years, or they believed themselves more than enough to deal with the destructive force that he was predicting.

In a very frightened desperate move, Triclops tried to appeal to the younglings to listen to him, or at least find a Master who would override the Knights. It was in vain, as the youngling with red hair that Kendalina had led around the Temple three years ago informed him there WERE no Masters in the Temple.

"Master Windu just left and took Masters Kolar, Fisto, and Tiin with him- I think they're going to get rid of the Chancellor, since he's the Sith they've been looking for. But Master Skywalker is still here- he'll..." Triclops' blood went very, very cold as she said that. Not giving her a chance to finish her sentence, Triclops grabbed her and hoisted her up to his shoulder while some of the other younglings screamed.

"Shhh!" He motioned, only making them all scream even more and the little girl to kick at him, "Please- Master Skywalker is still only one man. He cannot do everything by himself- we all need to help him, okay?" Some of the younglings stopped screaming enough to keep their heads, but others were running away, shouting that the ogre was after them.

"We need to help Master Skywalker?" One little boy with tails coming off his head asked- he wasn't a Twi'lek, since his head tails were a distinctly different shape and his face wasn't nearly as Human, but Triclops wasn't concerned with species or sex right now. Frantically, he nodded, as the girl over his shoulder stopped kicking and he shifted her so she was clinging to his neck, sitting on his back.

"Yes- we all need to cooperate and make things easier for Master Skywalker. The Temple is under attack and we all need to evacuate, because the people attacking are so dangerous, only the Masters can deal with them. If you could all follow me, there is a way we can escape, down in the basement." Triclops set down the youngling in his arms and herded as many younglings as he could fit into the elevator shafts, even as he saw more of them going to the other elevators, and once the elevator came to a stop on the lowest levels of the basement, the others opened and younglings came spilling out of the other elevators, sure enough.

It had been awhile ago, but he remembered well enough where the hole was that the Furies had dug in the floor of the basement- tunnels led from that hole, branching out all through the underground of as far as they could go on this city planet. The network was long, twisted, and complicated, with openings to the surface in almost one-hundred different, random locations within a five kilometer radius of the Temple, alone. Who knew what the REST of the planet was like.

And Triclops had memorized every, single one of them- it had come in particularly useful in the last two years that Kendalina had been associated with the Furies as their Princess, especially on nights that he hadn't felt safe traveling to the medcenter above ground. Now, they would be especially useful, as he was fairly certain the only people who knew about them were himself, Kendalina, the Furies, and maybe Master Yoda, who seemed to know everything about everyone.

He had just barely opened the lid on the hole, before a large claw came up through the hole and pushed it away. Several younglings screamed as a Barabel with even more scars than him came up through the hole, giving him a suspicious look.

"Hey, Three-Eyes, where'dya think YER goin?" She asked, but Triclops let out a relieved sigh as more Furies followed her out of the hole, as much as it alarmed the younglings, "Princess told us ter keep an eye on'ya an' help out, so be damned if we don'." The Furies broke up into groups and herded the younglings into smaller, more manageable groups.

"Choo vill take zee fehrst ghroup- zen, meet us aht zee old apahrtment." One of the Fury women said, calming the younglings much better than the mostly mutilated, better armed, and very imposing women did. Triclops smiled, weakly, and hopped into the hole, holding up his arms for the younglings to jump into.

* * *

He was weak.

It was just that simple. He was weak to only be good for running away. He couldn't even hold his own ground in a fight. And even when Kendalina brought him into the Furies, they regarded him as their leaders' "Pet". And he had been. Kendalina hadn't seen him that way, but that's what he was.

He didn't belong, not with her, not with them, not with the Jedi...

He had no reason to be the one the younglings were looking up to, putting their safety in his hands.

"Ow!" He heard one of the younglings cry. He didn't bother looking for her, but immediately dropped to his knees, arms stretched as he felt all around until a little hand grasped his

"What is wrong?" He asked, trying not to panic as he heard her voice whimper. After a deal of sniffling, the youngling pulled herself over and guided Triclops' hand to her ankle. He squeezed, lightly, but it was enough to know she'd hurt her leg and was not going to be walking or running for a while. Taking a deep breath in, Triclops helped her onto his back and then took two more hands in his, pulling them as he could feel them keeping hold of other younglings hands as they ran down the tunnel.

There, again- even when he knew that he had no strength, no power, no wisdom, nothing... he didn't even take responsibility by telling them that he was no 'Master', or even informing them that he was only following the orders of another Master and not really the 'Mastermind' behind their escape.

They passed three other exits, made one right, then took a left down one tunnel that divided into two- somewhere along this route was also a tunnel that led to a dead end. He remembered which ones those were- they were marked, however casually, with stones piled at the bottom of their openings, making circles instead of domes for the passageways. The tunnels that led to openings had markings on the center top of the opening, pointing upwards, with a certain number of slashes to indicate how many more turns or changes of passage there were to go before they reached an opening.

The tunnel they were going down wouldn't reach another opening for another six turns, unless they took the other paths- there was always at least one emergency path that led to another opening, almost immediately. But even then, who knew when their next fork would come up.

"Master Triclops, I can't run anymore." A small voice panted desperately, and six other voices called out to agree. Triclops almost wanted to cry, himself- he was getting tired and dizzy and his head was aching from eyestrain, even though his eyes had adjusted to the dark enough that he could see where everyone was and where they were going.

"And it hurts to breathe." Another said, voice choked and small as Triclops almost dropped the girl on his back reaching for the youngling who had sounded winded. He could feel a bald head, which told him it was clearly a youngling of a species not meant to be underground with all the gases that settled in these tunnels. Humans could handle them long enough to continue walking and get out to the fresh air, but some of the Non-Humans, Triclops hadn't thought about how it would effect them.

What about the Fury women? Did they know? Would they be better prepared?

"Is there anyone else who cannot breathe?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm. Two other voices coughed, but said they could. Triclops gulped against the lump in his throat, then crouched down and scooped two up in his arms, while the third managed to latch onto his other shoulder with help from the girl with the hurt ankle. Triclops almost gagged himself, but straightened up and managed to choke out.

"Everyone, keep walking- we have to get to the surface, fast." Triclops staggered a little, but finally managed to move forward, looking for the emergency opening. Every step he took made him feel sicker and sicker, and several of the other younglings were starting to cough and pant at his heels, even as they trotted as quickly as they could. He could feel their hands clinging to his pants and their feet thudding on the ground of the tunnel in irregular beats, attempting to keep up with his stride. His eyes stung, his throat felt raw and sore, and his muscles ached from carrying so many younglings at once, even as he kept his legs moving.

One of the younglings in his arms coughed, but it sounded less like a cough and more like a wheeze. Triclops could feel the boy's body shake with the strain and his diaphragm heave, which didn't make it any easier to keep calm. One of the girls walking was crying, but still keeping up with him, one hand clutched tightly around his pantleg.

"Master Triclops, isn't that an opening ahead?" Asked one of the boys walking on the ground. Triclops almost stopped and blinked- he'd almost walked right past it, so in a daze, but the youngling was right. An emergency exit was right there, just where they needed it.

Triclops didn't give it a second thought and asked the girl on his back with the injured foot to climb up as high as she could on his head and push the opening off.

Barely five minutes later, all the younglings were on their knees outside, panting and taking deep breaths of the fresh air, free and safe from the gas in the tunnels, tears streaming from their eyes and legs and arms shaking.

Triclops hauled himself out last and laid down, his face flat on the ground, thanking whatever God there was that they were still alive.

* * *

When Triclops regained consciousness, night had fallen. The lower level of Coruscant was eerily silent, but there was a sense of terror imbued in the very air he breathed. Even the younglings seemed to sense that there was death thick in the air and danger lurking in the shadows as they slept. One of the boys who couldn't breathe down in the tunnels woke up, crying.

"Master Triclops... it hurts..." He sobbed, clutching at his chest and shaking. Triclops put his arms around the youngling, trying to soothe him, even as he heaved with more coughs, which woke the other ten younglings. Several were still shaking, others crying, one's skin had brownish spots forming on his head, the two girls who had been affected by the gas in the tunnels were hacking and shuddering and the one with the twisted ankle- her foot was still on her leg, straight, but the skin and bones on the ankle were black and blue and swollen, so Triclops knew it had to be a twist or at least a sprain- was clutching at her foot again and trying not to cry.

Triclops stood up and surveyed the younglings. Out of the ten of them, at least six were younger than five. Past that, he couldn't guess ages. Three were Non-Human, and only one of those Non-Humans was older than five. Triclops sighed and gulped.

"Do any of the older ones think they could carry one of the younger ones who can't walk?" He asked, trying to sound as authoritative as he could. Two raised their hands, and didn't wait to be told before they walked over to the other younglings, each picking up one and putting them on their backs. Triclops knelt and hoisted up the other two, before gathering the other younglings around.

"We are going to go to a medcenter before anything else- everyone, stay together, watch out for any coming trouble, keep each other safe, and, whatever happens, do not panic." Triclops instructed, pleased that the younglings nodded and didn't argue. Taking a deep breath, he strode out from the alleyway that the tunnel had dumped them in, onto the main street.

Except it couldn't possibly be called that. The buildings were all strange and filthy. The sky was dark and no lights glowed from the windows or lamps along the streets or even in the skyways above their heads. Everything was so completely empty, Triclops had no idea where he was, and there was no light to even guide them. Even as he looked up, the sky over their heads was only obstructed from view by the criss-crossing walkways. No vehicles soared through these streets and every step that Triclops and the younglings took echoed and rattled through the street, as though the sound was amplified.

Clap clop clap clop...

Triclops couldn't help but keep glancing around- even though the whole street was completely deserted and in ruins, he couldn't suppress the feeling that there were others hiding inside the buildings, watching them. He just had this distinct feeling that there were eyes following them.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

"Master Triclops..." Triclops stopped in his tracks, long enough to see a little boy clinging to his leg, shaking, and Triclops knew it wasn't because he was sick or afraid, "...Something's wrong... something's wrong..." Triclops had a fairly sure idea of what was wrong, but didn't say anything- it wasn't that he didn't want the younglings to panic, but he just couldn't say what they all knew was happening.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

"There's smoke..." Said one of the older two, who was carrying one of the girls who had choked on the gas- she had fallen asleep on the elder's shoulder, but it looked nowhere near peaceful. All the other younglings had tears going down their faces and he knew that they knew.

"It's from the Temple..." Muttered the half-asleep boy Triclops was carrying and he couldn't even deny it. The other younglings were shaking and whimpering and crying, and it was all Triclops could do to keep his head on straight.

"Everyone, please stay calm. We have to find a medcenter for all of you, and we cannot be found by the patrols." He said, walking in a jerking fashion down the street. The younglings followed, their own legs mimicking his nervous, unhappy motion.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

"We have to run." He whispered, bending down to take two of the littluns' hands in his own and pulling them along the abandoned streets of the terrorized lower level. One of the three-year-olds was crying as he was pulled along by a five-year-old and the younger younglings in the ten- and eleven-year-olds' arms were whimpering and clinging tightly between their coughing and shuddering.

"Sssshhh..." Triclops hissed, feeling panic seep into his blood as every little sound echoed off the metallic walls of the locked buildings around them.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

It was made even worse that Triclops had no clue where he was, how to get back to the places he did know, that there wasn't even a person around to ask for directions, and he had no clue where the troop patrols would be. They couldn't even call for a troop patrol- one, they had no money to call from a public HoloNet station. Two, there WERE no public HoloNet stations in this neighborhood. Three, if they did have coins and a place to call from, Triclops was a suspected murderer of two people, underage, traveling with runaway children, and all the children were Jedi younglings. They would be arrested or, even worse, shot.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

Vaguely, Triclops wondered, if they DID find a medcenter, would they allow them in? Some of the younglings were Non-Humans and they were all Jedi- would the new order against the Jedi be in effect in these clinics down on the lower level? Or would they not care, the same way they didn't care about the discrimination laws that Kendalina had always been the champion against.

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

No, don't think of Kendalina right now... But while he WAS thinking of the Princess, what about the Furies? Did they make it out okay? Had they been caught at their escape routes? Or had the 501st legion broken the security at the Temple and ambushed them in the basement? And if they had made it out safely, what about the apartment? They had all decided to meet up at the apartment he and Kendalina had lived in- but what if the landlord had decided to seal it off? Or what if that dirty old man had gotten suspicious and started poking around the place? What if he found them harboring the Jedi younglings? Would he turn them in? Or would he try and take advantage of them? Or would he try to use it as blackmail and coerce the Furies? Or would he just not give a damn?

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

And while he was on that line of thinking, would all these younglings even FIT? Sure, the Furies had held several powwows in that tiny, cramped space, but these were all younglings, and they couldn't be all crammed together like that? And then, who would take care of them? Would Triclops be ABLE to help? Would ANYone?

Clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop clap clop...

Triclops took the hands of two more younglings in his- he knew they were even more afraid than he, as their palms were cold with sweat and shaking- and the group followed him in running. Two right turns, then a left, then straight, left, left, right again. Triclops didn't know where to go, or how to get there without the troops finding him.

Left, right, right, right, then another left, and down a set of cracked steps, and into a narrow street. They came out the other side, and saw a heap of burnt, frayed, and bloodied robes, crumpled over the form that all of them were used to seeing standing proud and tall above their heads- the corpse of Master Windu.

Triclops felt his knees shake and his toes went numb. A fear unlike any terror he'd ever known gripped his insides- terror for not only his, but these youngling's lives and the crushing pressure of not knowing where to go. And seeing Master Windu's body splayed out in the middle of an abandoned street made him quiver unlike any horror that life could have given him thus forward. But this...

This made it even the more clear that it was only a matter of time- there WAS no where to run, no where to hide. Even if he'd stayed down in the tunnels, he was sure now the troops would have found out sooner or later and then smoked them out. Even the apartment, they would be found- the Chancellor knew that Kendalina lived there, once, and he wouldn't hesitate in violating the privacy of private property.

He also knew exactly where they were- Master Windu had gone to the Chancellor's office to arrest him. They could only be directly beneath the Chancellor's private quarters. Triclops looked up and almost immediately felt his eyes burn as, meters and meters above his head, a pair of yellow eyes rimmed with red stared directly back into his.

Flinching as though someone had shot lasers at his face, Triclops ducked his head and started to pull the younglings with him. He pulled them down the street and into an alleyway, only to be met, face-to-face with a legion of troops. It was only by the fact he was so scared and his throat was so dry that he didn't scream, but instead immediately turned and dragged the younglings with him. No good- the troops had seen them and were beginning the chase.

"It's them- Blast them!" He heard a mechanical voice shout, and he didn't have time to think- he only reacted. Triclops threw himself to the ground and pulled several of the younglings with him, screaming,

"EVERYONE DOWN!" The first few shots went over their heads, harmlessly, but the next round wouldn't be aimed the same way, so Triclops scrambled to a pile of refuse that had been tucked away in a ruptured garbage chute. With a yank powered by the kind of strength only a life-or-death panic can present a person, Triclops pulled the whole pile out, smashing it into the first few troopers who had attempted to charge, all the while screaming after the younglings, "RUN! RUN! RUN!"

The four three-year-olds who could still walk, having completely lost their heads, were screaming as they obeyed, one even carrying the boy who'd taken in too much gas, as Triclops followed them, just barely managing to scoop up the little girl with the twisted ankle as he pelted after them, shouting directions that echoed off the abandoned, menacing buildings. He didn't know where they were going, or if they'd be any safer there, but it didn't seem to matter anymore.

"Do we go back?" Asked an eight-year-old, anxiously pulling the five-year old to his feet as Triclops caught up with them, and he knew what she meant, shaking his head frantically.

"No... no... that will be dangerous for the others." He gasped, still giving her a firm push in the back as they all dodged into a series of blocks, all stacked up to make apartments for the desperate.

The troops dodged between the blocks, blasting at all they could see, while Triclops kept pulling the younglings after him, pinning one to the ground as a blaster bolt severed the supporting beam on one cube. Tears of panic were streaming down his face, and his arms and limbs felt heavy. It was as though he couldn't move quickly enough- the troopers seemed to grow a thousand times faster for every ounce of speed he gained.

Finally, Triclops hoisted himself to his feet and dragged the younglings, most of them who were screaming in the chaos, with him down another street, to run into another barricade of troopers. They were truly trapped. Triclops threw his arms up, his hands into the air.

"UNARMED! WE ARE UNARMED!" He shouted, and this seemed to cause the Troops to halt- thus far, they'd been killing and blasting like machines, with little to no thought, but this sudden contradiction of commands- to kill all the Jedi, but to not shoot the unarmed- seemed to cause a break down in their circuits, "We are unarmed. We are... unarmed..." He continued to repeat, head spinning and throat dry and scratchy.

But at last, they put their blasters away and pulled out other tools, which Triclops knew were weapons as well. His lungs burned as air refused to reach them in this state of betrayal at the laws of justice failing to protect them.

'I could help.' Said a voice, somewhere in the back of his head.

'YOU...' Triclops' eyes, including his third went wide. He could swear he heard the other him snicker.

'It's alright... you wouldn't have to do anything... just let me in, for a little... and I'll protect you and the... younglings...' It whispered. Triclops felt his lip tremble, and was undyingly grateful the littluns couldn't see him lose composure. The Troopers took no notice- they were truly machines.

'Very well... just do not let them hurt the littluns...' Triclops sighed, and let that second presence flood his senses.

It was like being thrust into very cold water, and chlorine being used to quench your thirst while sulfur suffused the air you breathed. Triclops trembled, but felt his mind go slack and at ease, while his body opened his eyes- all three, and stepped forward into the carnage.

* * *

Triclops felt himself take control sooner than expected, and as he looked around, he saw the littluns huddled against the wall of the alley, some of them shivering, others looking at him with wide eyes. His chest was heaving from the exertion his other had made in the fight, and his limbs continued to shake in aftershock from being used with such force and suddenly allowed to go slack. His stomach was turning over at the smell of blood that was thick in the air, and he could see easily enough that the other him hadn't needed weapons to rid them of the Troops- their bodies were splattered on the ground and against the walls, as though something had thrown them. One of the Trooper's head had been torn clean off and their armor was all dinted and smeared with pooling blood. Another's spine had been ripped out, and then his intestines were trailing from his stomach, wrapped around the necks of three others.

Triclops didn't need to look down to know there was blood on his hands and down his front.

"Look, Master Skywalker is here!" One of the littluns called, and Triclops' eyes snapped open immediately. Indeed, the shape of Anakin Skywalker was looming over them in the alley's entryway, but the younglings weren't close enough to see or know that he meant them harm. His eyes seemed almost bile shot, and if the light wasn't making his face dark, he could have sworn his skin was jaundiced as well. The black cloak draped around his shoulders and over his face was a plain enough menace and only as the younglings came forward to give him hugs did they see the underlying evil that had seeped into someone they'd once called 'Master'.

Funny... he was a master now, but only a master of evil.

Triclops didn't even have time to move- move to do what, he didn't know, but it was better than just standing there- but with a swift motion of his hand, Skywalker had Triclops pushed against the wall and he stayed there, as though his wrists and ankles were bound to the wall by invisible cords.

The younglings didn't even have a chance to scream before the slaughter began.

Skywalker pulled out a menacing lightsaber, ignited it, and in one motion, the red blade struck down two of the younglings closest to him- one hit jaggedly across the stomach and the other took the lightsaber's blade in the chest. The younglings started to run away, but Skywalker didn't even chase after them- he merely took one step and it was enough slice off the legs and arms of the nearest one, before he stabbed him. The Alien boy that had been hacking ever since the tunnel pushed over a can full of garbage, and Skywalker kicked it back so that it hit the boy in the head, sending him back into the wall where his skull cracked and blood oozed out, dribbling down to the ground and smearing the wall.

The girl with the injured ankle was screaming and trying to crawl away, or find something to hide in, and didn't even see Skywalker's lightsaber come down. Her head came off and rolled over to rest at Triclops' feet, her two eyes staring back up at him in sheer terror.

The ten-year-old was still trying to protect the four-year-old who was beginning to cough and shake again. Skywalker sliced them both in half, but not so quickly that a scream didn't echo off of the walls of the alleyway. The eleven-year-old found a pole in the pile of garbage and attempted to attack Skywalker from behind, only for his own weapon to be pulled from his hands as Skywalker's lightsaber cleaved his arm clean off before his head was sliced open by the burning blade.

The two left went running for the opening of the alleyway, before Skywalker pulled them back, much the way he'd pushed Triclops away, using the Force to lift them off their feet and send them reeling back to him, stabbing them squarely through the chest as they went flying. Even the youngling who had hidden inside the garbage can was killed with a loud, painful shriek as Skywalker crushed the can, and a moment later, a pool of blood leaked from inside.

Triclops choked for air where he stood- all of them were... The youngling girl's head was still between his feet, looking up at him with the same bright eyes that she'd stared at him with four years ago when Kendalina had brought the younglings by the containment cell he'd been in. The Alien boy was no longer choking or shivering, but he was no longer breathing or moving at all, and so many of them were in so many different places at once- an arm over there and a leg over there and a head and an arm and a leg and an arm and a head and...

The look in Skywalker's eyes and the way his muscles moved was like something of an untamed beast that was hunting prey for it's own young, but this... this was something no animal could ever bear: the pure, unadulterated, completely human emotion of hate.

There were tears on his cheeks and Triclops didn't even feel them- there was something numbing his skin, like shock, only worse. Then Skywalker motioned to one of the dead troopers and pulled the gun towards him.

"The Emperor wants you alive." He muttered, hissingly, before pulling the stun setting.

Triclops' eyes rolled backwards in his skull and went completely limp.

* * *

_"I told you."_

Triclops didn't want to hear that voice- he just wanted a dreamless sleep, where it had all been a bad dream, and where Master Retaw would be there in the morning, and Kendalina might even be back too, and if his nightmare DID come true, then they could have time to prepare and none of this... would have...

_"Bad things happen when Kendalina's not around."_

* * *

When the throbbing in his head awoke him, Triclops realized he'd been dragged to a round room. The walls were a sterile white, but the lights from the ceiling were dimmed so they looked gray. He heard voices talking. He didn't move- he didn't even open his eyes, except for the sliver he needed to assess his position. He wanted to pretend he was still asleep.

"Very good, Darth Vader. Now, go- go forth to the Outer Rim and dispose of the Separatists." A dry, crackling voice came from behind him, but Triclops didn't want to turn his head and look- it hurt too much.

"Yes, Master." That was the voice of used-to-be Anakin Skywalker. Now, Triclops knew, he was the Darth Vader the crackling voice had addressed. A foot nudged him as it went past and Triclops rolled, though every bone in his body ached to do so, to face the Emperor.

Triclops recognized the room- it had been Chancellor Palpatine's office once. Now, it was the headquarters of the Emperor.

Emperor Palpatine.

"I see you are awake." The Emperor said, hovering like some dark cloud over Triclops' limp body, before he raised his hand in a slight gesture. Triclops winced, but nothing came.

"Gaurds: leave us." The Emperor intoned, and Triclops recognized the same gesture as the one the Chancellor had used for dismissal. The door closed, and Triclops felt vaguely like a caged animal, alone with the trainer who had a whip in his hand.

The Emperor knelt, his black cloak billowing as he did so, and put a wrinkled, withered hand to Triclops' face. It was ice cold, cold enough to burn, and Triclops felt himself squirming, wishing the touch to end.

Now that the Emperor was on his knees, Triclops had no choice but to look up into his face.

It was twisted and dry and the skin hung off his very bones, like it was clinging to him, but only by the tiniest hooks necessary, not wanting to be in TOO much contact. His eyes were puffy, the way Triclops had seen children in the medcenter going in for dialysis for their kidneys, and his teeth were all brown, crooked, and broken into pieces.

It looked... almost like his own face.

Triclops froze. The Emperor started to laugh- a high-pitched, wheezing, squeaky 'hee hee hee' that sounded like something dying. Triclops shivered at the sound, as it had the same effect of raising even the smallest hairs on his body, like nails scraping on a rock.

He could not tear his eyes away from that face.

"Come now, my boy- is that any way to greet your father?" The Emperor sneered. Triclops blinked for a moment, before he glared, much the way Kendalina taught him to.

"No- I would be much more impolite if he were anything as wretched as you." The mutant managed to spit back, still unable to banish the notion from his mind that the Emperor might be trying to infer something.

The Emperor kicked Triclops in the stomach before he even saw it coming, which sent him rolling backwards. The air seemed to be sucked out of his lungs, like a vacuum, and he could have sworn he felt the fluids in his body jerk from the impact.

"You ignorant, pathetic little vermin..." He heard the Emperor hiss, and there was a disdain, a kind of contempt in his voice that made Triclops want to throw up, "Insolent, filthy, wretched creature." Triclops didn't bother moving- he had a feeling the Emperor was going to kick or throw or hit him soon anyway.

Indeed, a jerk like that of when Skywalker had thrown him yanked Triclops from the floor, through the air, and sent him to crash into the wall opposite the first. His head hit the wall with a definite thump and Triclops was sure from the splitting pain that seared through his arm and chest that his shoulder had at least been dislocated. He let out a yelp, and tried to move his fingers, but couldn't- his whole arm felt like a heavy, useless rubber stick with a lead weight tied onto the end.

"How dare you show me such disrespect to me when I was so merciful to let you live? The experiment went wrong from the start, but because I needed the results, you had to be kept alive... and after all this time, you defy me?" The Emperor was pursuing him at his full height and aimed another kick, this one hitting him in the ribcage. Triclops couldn't hold in a gasp of pain as he heard something crack- maybe his ribs themselves, and he hoped to God they hadn't been broken. He tasted something like warm liquid in his mouth, with a burning sensation at his throat before he spat up a mouthful of bile.

Triclops curled up in case the Emperor kicked him again. Instead, however, Triclops felt a searing pain shoot through his whole body, like a circuit using him as a conductor. His bones felt like they were being split sideways, and his toes went numb. There was a ringing in his ears and his chest failed to rise and fall, so he had no air to scream, and there was a dizzying headache pounding at his temples. His heart felt like it was being clenched, as though by a fist, and there was a burn shooting in his skin as his muscles went cold and numb with pain. His limbs flailed on their own, as though being pulled randomly by some insane puppeteer.

Then it stopped and air flooded his mouth, going to the back of his throat and stinging it dry. Triclops tried to breathe through his nose, and smelled something like smoke. Something burning? Maybe he was on fire... His fingers continued to twitch and his feet shook, violently trembling in an arthritic manner around his ankles. His head continued to roll around, like on a string instead of a neck with muscle and bone.

"You understand, don't you?" The Emperor hovered over him, and Triclops was so undone, so thoroughly broken that he couldn't even shiver in fear, "This is the fate that awaits all that DARE defy my POWER..." Triclops didn't respond. He couldn't. Something in that shock which had seared through him a moment ago seemed to return to the surface of his mind memories from long ago- memories of darkness and pain, being strapped down onto an experimentation board... and being small... so small...

And then it returned. The burning in his muscles increased and his blood felt as though it was being boiled. There was a hissing, screeching noise that Triclops wasn't quite sure of its origin, and he could hear his own pulse in his ears.

It stopped again, sooner than he'd expected. His neck tingled and his skin was beginning to feel numb.

"If I were to go any longer, it would kill you. And while I couldn't care less about whether you live or die, one of my chief advisors would like to... meet you... rather soon." The Emperor hovered over to the door, opening it, and Triclops heard new footsteps. They were softer than the Emperor's and much closer together. Triclops could guess whoever it was was either a very erratic walker, or very short, but he didn't care- he just wanted to leave.

"Is this he?" Asked a new voice, this one very small compared to the Emperor's but still very masculine, "What a pretty boy... and he's your son?" There was a hand on his face and Triclops quivered- these fingers were short and stubby, and their nails were uncut, so they scratched his face, and the tips of the fingers were terribly, terribly cold.

"He's my offspring, yes." The Emperor replied, with an edge in his voice. Triclops felt his head rolling to face the new speaker, and saw a hooded face- he couldn't see the upper half of the person's face, except two beetle black eyes glinting out from the blackness of the hood, and coarse, bristly black beard hair. The man's breath smelled like something had crawled into his mouth and then died, and Triclops held his breath to keep from smelling the foul vapor.

The person under the hood cackled, and the bursts of rotten air stung at Triclops' eyes, forcing them closed. His lungs began to burn from the lack of air, and he was sure his face was red, if not blue.

"Is this a subtle way of telling me my breath is unbearable to breathe?" The man asked, sneering. Triclops didn't answer, fearing that the 'wrong' answer would earn him a beating. The Emperor snickered.

"I'm not the only one who has been telling you that since the beginning of our association." He said, sitting back behind his desk to watch. Triclops turned his head away to breathe. His first breath came with a kind of cough, and his chest heaved irregularly.

Triclops stopped breathing again as one of Kadann's rough nails scratched at his neck. He shut his eyes even tighter, clenching his teeth and trying to ignore the almost congenial conversation going on over his head.

"Yes, but yet, nobody makes any attempt to avoid any encounters." Kadann replied, and Triclops felt a twinge of well-known horror as Kadann's fingers went from his neck to plying at his shirt. There was a pause before their conversation continued.

"Do you mind if I carry on here, my lord?" And Triclops heard a note of irony in the words 'my lord', "Or should I move this affair into a more personal quarter?" Kadann, despite his 'concern' for the Emperor's comfort, continued to undo the clasps on Triclops' shirt. He bit his lip with a grimace.

"Take it away." Triclops' eyes opened and from the corner of his eye, he could see the Emperor making the same dismissive gesture he'd used to excuse the guards from the room. Triclops closed his eyes and tried to ignore it as his shirt came off, as those fingers started to touch him, as he heard the Emperor laugh.

Just ignore...

* * *

Triclops sat awake in a small dark room on board a cargo ship. The rumbling echoed in his ears, and he felt a numb feeling in his stomach. There were many other people crowded in this small room with him- they, too, were cargo. Cargo as hands. Prisoners. Slaves. Condemed and doomed.

He tried to remember Kendalina's words- that rape was a medium of control, not love or sex. And while it was comforting... The event didn't bother him...

But his own father had rejected him... and let it happen... and dismissed it... and laughed... It was somehow even worse than being used as a prostitute before he even learned how to walk or talk, or the man who claimed to have bought you in a bid trying to pose as your father to take you back... And... of course, Kendalina's own father had been harsh, and uncaring, and cruel... maybe that was just natural.

Why did everything have to tie back to her? Triclops wondered, would Kendalina be angry he'd been raped again? Or would she distance herself from him? Or blame him?

Triclops thought it over. No... he doubted it. She'd want him to be strong. She'd want him to not give up.

So he wasn't going to- he'd keep living, keep waiting, and when he saw her again, he'd welcome it.

But... until then... His heart should be like ice.

A/N: And thus, ends part 3.

Not too terribly cheerful, is it? But, hey- I warned you.


	24. Part III: Chapter 8

By Sapadu

Chapter 8: Discredit

dis·cred·it /dɪsˈkrɛdɪt/ Pronunciation Key - [dis-**kred**-it

–verb (used with object)

1. to injure the credit or reputation of; defame

2. to show to be undeserving of trust or belief; destroy confidence in

3. to give no credence to; disbelieve

–noun

4. loss or lack of belief or confidence; disbelief; distrust

5. loss or lack of repute or esteem; disrepute

6. something that damages a good reputation

_Kendalina was back on her feet by the end of the week- Triclops didn't ask how she'd dealt with the pregnancy, but she was smiling again, and when he asked what she'd done, Kendalina had smiled and informed her lover that she wasn't going to die, but she was also not going to lose the battle on the Senate floor, when it came. What that had to do with Kendalina being pregnant, he didn't know._

_It was less than three weeks before the Fury women brought enough information for Kendalina to take to a Senator. To say she was impressed would have been a vast understatement, as the Furies had apparently made good on their word about bringing in info from all over the planet. It only delighted Kendalina all the more, before she made arrangements to meet with some key Senators who would be interested in this information._

_On the 15th of the next month, the Senate held a session, just as Kendalina had predicted. The Senators, the Cabinet, the Vice Chair, Staff Aide, Parliamentarian, Journal Scribe, Supreme Chancellor, and several Representatives from sponsors and independent factions and bureaucrats debated over a number of new proposals and amendments- a majority of which proposed more emergency powers to the Chancellor for dealing with the Separatists, all of which immediately passed, almost too easily._

_Then, as the session turned to other matters of the state, Senator Organa took the floor, maneuvering his pod away from the wall to present his argument for all to see._

"_Fellow delegates of the Senate and respected legions of our judicial system, I would care to bring to the attention of this government an issue of great importance during these trying times of our Republic. Crisises and wars like this not only need a commitment from the leaders of any government, but also a dedication by the citizens of the ruling body. To preserve the structure, law, and safety to its citizens that makes the Republic, a devastating war like this one calls for shows of patriotism and devotion to one's sector, planet, or even country. As such, harsh times like this will bring out the best in so many citizens who we in the Senate are protecting, but it will also bring out the worst in others, who see the chaotic status of the state as an opportunity to take what they want."_

_Senator Organa's opening statement seemed to arouse something in the other Senators and lawmakers, even though a great deal of them seemed discontent that Senator Organa was the one to make this statement._

"_It is by no coincidence that, during a crisis such as this, the rates of crime and illegal activities reach new peaks, as the more unscrupulous of citizens on these planets take advantage of the decreased resources of mainland security and cause a rise in crimes from embezzlement and company fraud to murders, rapes, and armed robberies. For this purpose, I would propose a new measure to secure the safety of our citizens who are not in plain sight of the public- for those of different ethnicity, lower income, physical disadvantage, or other differences that set them into a minority group." Senator Organa continued, "I motion to entitle this new law the Enactment for Civilian Welfare Protection Act..."_

_But then other Senators began to shout, in varying languages, in protest to Senator Organa's quick motions through the proceedings without proper authority to make such claims. The noise was incredible as the lavender colored room reverberated with noisy clamor, while the Chancellor sat on the sidelines, watching, before the Senate Regulator called for quiet and made the complaints more formal._

"_Senator Organa, please present your sources of authority to demonstrate that your point is true and legitimate before making a motion in the Senate." She said, clearly, before Senator Organa nodded and pulled up a viewing screen on his pod._

"_My record for statistics come from the medical records of Coruscant's medcenters. Because the medcenters deal with at least 40 of the injuries caused during assaults, aftermath of murders, armed robberies, and other such crimes, they provide an alarming set of statistics regardless of whether they are involved in a portion or the entirety of crime levels." Everyone's eyes were on Senator Organa as he spoke, so nobody saw the unimpressed smirk on the Supreme Chancellor's face, as he knew that Senator Organa had no authority to search through medical records or statistics, "To present these allegations, I would give the floor to the medical authority who brought these records to my attention."_

_Everyone was taken aback as Senator Organa stepped down and took his seat in the pod, as a tiny young woman stood up- nobody had even noticed her sitting in the pod, until now as Kendalina straightened up and walked forward to the amplifier on the podium. _

_Nobody would have recognized her, even if they'd known her- her hair was parted, washed, combed and held back from her eyes neatly by a black band on her head, while her face had been scrubbed with fine white soap and done with the proper accents of professional make-up. Her black dress was pressed neatly and covered with a dark suit coat, which she wore in a manner that made her appear at least twice her real age despite her stature and childish face. She was even wearing shoes- not only that, but fancy, black shoes with heels that would have made running difficult and kicking someone in the face potentially lethal._

"_Thank you, Senator Organa. To continue with the proceedings, I have statistics from 258 medcenters all over Coruscant with reports of..." And again, the Senate began to roar with angry shouts._

"_Young lady at the podium, please state your name, age, and position of authority." The Senate Regulator said, in a tone that was more annoyed than before, to which Kendalina responded, perfectly, reaching into the black case at her feet and pulling out several data chips and presenting them on the screen. As they glowed blue and magnified on the text, everyone could see they were clearly licenses and degrees of certification._

"_Medic Kendalina Orewahime, 13 years old, former Jedi apprentice to the acclaimed Medical Jedi, Master Yaddle, and the now expired Master Mehgan Retaw, two years on-staff surgeon, physician, pharmacist, therapist, and ob-gyn at Red Avenue Emergency Clinic on the lower level of the Geling District, and current Chancery Physician of the Galactic Republic, pending reception by the Supreme Chancellor." Kendalina recited, as though by the rote._

_Again, a rile of excitement rose up in the Senate, even as the Chancellor displayed extreme surprise at Kendalina's declaration, before Kendalina found, among the flimsiplast documents and licenses she had pulled from her case, the forms for the position. It was with an explanation that she could have SWORN she'd sent them to be delivered to the Chancellor that week, but they'd apparently gotten mixed in with other files on accident that Kendalina shook the flimsiplast forms, enough that they made a noise everyone in the Senate Hall could hear._

_There was some minor confusion on the Chancellor's podium, as he reviewed his records on his screen and other Senators demanded an explicit decision if this girl really was the Chancery Physician, before declaring, _

"_The documents used to recruit a Chancery Physician have always been layered with a pressure sensitive screen to alert the records computer when it is filled out. Since the records indicate the signal was sent to the computer a week ago, I do officially receive Medic Orewahime as the Chancery Physician for the Galactic Republic, and the Senate will recognize her authority on these matters." The Chancellor nodded in Kendalina's direction, as she was revolving just barely a meter away in the hovering pod of the Alderaanian Representative. Kendalina nodded back, then returned to her delivery of statistics and evidence._

"_Thank you, Your Excellency." She said, before pulling up a document on the screen and magnifying it for the assembly to see, "To begin with, allow me to give the Senate some statistics in matters of birth and infant mortality rates- in this last year alone, medcenters all across Coruscant report a 30 increase in infant mortality rates, and for every 9 births in the city, 5.6 of them are deformed, miscarriages, or stillborn. Furthermore, 90 of these infant mortalities are result of injuries their mothers endured during their pregnancy- one specific case from the Ralmin district, coordinates 76 lateral, 23 longitudinal, reports... If I may..." Kendalina paused and glanced around, waiting for the more queasy Senators to secure their stomachs before she went on,_

"_'One patient, age 36, pregnant with a girl, was brought to the emergency room after she was found by a neighbor in a dumpster. Her neck had bruises and marks that indicated she had been strangled and her windpipe had been almost crushed, but not completely. However, even after surgery, her vocal chords had been torn during the attack and she could not describe her assailant. Further inspection found the tearing of ligaments in her major neck, chest, abdominal, and leg muscles. These injured muscles include the sternocleidomastoid, sternohyoid, omohyoid, thyrohyoid, sternothyroid, pectoralis major, deltoid, external abdominal oblique, rectus abdominis, external intercostal, gracilis, adductor longus, pectineus, vastus medialis, and vastus intermedius muscles...'" Kendalina paused and glanced around, as the single description of this one case seemed to have made most Senators significantly queasy._

"_'In addition to muscle damage, several major bone structures were damaged...' And it lists all those bones, but to sum up without making everyone sick, the long and short of it is that the woman's pelvis was shattered, and most of the internal organs that were supported by this bone structure were thus displaced, their ligaments stretched, the veins and arteries going to them burst, the nerves disconnected, and the result was this woman giving premature birth to her child because the nerves connected to her reproductive organs were no longer regulating the signals sent and the muscles acted on their own._

"_But this isn't the only case like this- there are also cases of children and members of minority species, political groups, religions, and ethnic backgrounds under persecution from various hate groups, often resulting in assaults and murders that medics attend to every night and..." Kendalina was interrupted by an older man with graying blond hair, moving to the floor in his own pod._

"_COMPOR requests the right to question!" He demanded and while the Regulator of the Senate tried to reason with him, Senator Organa put a hand on Kendalina's shoulder._

"_His name is Nenevanth Tion- leader of an anti-Alien movement called the Commission for the Protection of the Republic and one of Chancellor Palpatine's most outspoken supporters. He will try to rally other supporters, saying that the medical records you're using as evidence are either falsified documents, in which you'll have to prove their eligibility, or by saying they have no bearing on the matter at hand- that will be more difficult to counter, so he'll probably use that argument." Kendalina nodded, listening carefully to the advice Senator Organa gave her, but kept her eyes focused, unblinking on the man who was finally being conceded the floor by the Regulator, "I trust you have your argument prepared?"_

_Kendalina shot him a small, but visible smile._

"_I do- Thank you, Senator." Senator Organa clapped Kendalina's shoulder once, then sat down as the Regulator called for order._

"_The Commission for the Protection of the Republic demands to see the connection of these cases to the matter being discussed at present- if the Senate would recall, Senator Organa opened the discussion saying it is a matter of security and protection of the citizens. Yet, he has brought a nurse in to read us the medical records of Coruscant's medcenters. If this has no connection to the subject matter, I would respectfully ask the Senate to eject the witness." Tion said, before he bowed respectfully to the assembly. Some Senators even cheered and Kendalina could tell that Senator Organa was feeling very embarrassed that he was so overwhelmed._

_Still, at least he wasn't backing down, Kendalina was pleased to see, as none of his humiliation or wounded pride was shown on his face._

"_The delegation from Malastare motions to force the Alderaanian Senate to prove the connection between medical records and the crime rate increase on Coruscant." Called a Senator with three eyes on stalks as he came across the Senate Chamber._

"_Second to that motion." Agreed the blue-skinned male standing by the Chancellor's side on the summit. Kendalina watched as almost the Senate began to raise their hands in favor of the motion- there were only a few Senators that didn't vote when the floor passed to them, but they looked mostly disinterested than disapproving. Kendalina felt her neck begin to perspire._

"_The Senator from Malastare is Senator Ask Aak- he succeeded the previous Senator- Senator Aks Moe- after his assassination several years ago. He's been a supporter of the Clone Wars and the awarding of Emergency powers to the Chancellor since it's beginning and one of Master Oppo Rancisis' critics during his life. He was even the Senator to introduce the Enhanced Security and Enforcement Act." Kendalina nodded again as Senator Organa filled her in- she was quite glad that he was so willing to brief her on her opponents, otherwise she would be completely lost right now, "He'll be most likely to attack your credentials based on being a Jedi."_

_Kendalina nodded, one hand briefly clenching into a fist at the indirect insult to the Jedi- she was more angry that he'd been so against Master Rancisis, who had been the last Master student of Master Yaddle's._

"_And the other guy is the Vice Chair, right?" She whispered back, confirming that she knew that much at least._

"_Yes- his name is Mas Amedda. He served as Vice Chair under Chancellor Valorum as well, but Chancellor Palpatine insisted that he remain in his position for this term, as well. He is most likely to insist that dissenters are traitors- that's not going to be easy for you to defend yourself against."_

_Kendalina wanted to smirk, but she knew she couldn't._

"_I'll be fine Senator- besides, it looks like the vote is finishing up." Kendalina noted, standing up again as the vote finished. It had, indeed, come out that the Senate wanted solid proof in the connections between the medical records and the increase in crime rate. Kendalina didn't sigh or protest, but pulled up another chart._

"_According to the records of our medcenters and the Bureau of Statistics, these numbers are 400 of what they were BEFORE the Clone wars began. Furthermore, the nature of these injuries PROVES that these kinds of incidents were intentional assaults- poisonings, death from blaster shots, strangulation, stab wounds, broken bones, burns, and bruises in areas that can only be reached by another person- these kinds of injuries were not accidents, and not self-inflicted, either." Kendalina said, firmly. Several members of the Senate were shouting crude comments about Kendalina's credibility,_

"_The Senate demands a statement from an official authority recognized by the legislative, judicial, and executive branches to provide us with substantial evidence of the connection between these medical reports and crime rates and not presented by this medic." Protested another member of the Senate- one whose pod was hidden by the shape of the podium in the middle of the room. Kendalina didn't care- she was ready for this, even as Senator Organa was becoming increasingly uncomfortable._

"_In that case, the Alderaanian Representation subpoenas the Chief of Federal Police and Detectives with the case files of Missing or Battered Persons." Kendalina announced, clearly. There was a confused flurry, and Kendalina could see Mas Amedda about to say something, but the Chancellor held him back. That was more worrisome than the Senators- why would the Chancellor WANT Kendalina to have her say? It could only mean he was prepared for her or something..._

"_The Senate challenges the subpeona- this is an action reserved for the Courts- furthermore, this woman is not of proper authority make declarations for the Representation of a Planet, even if she HAS been brought in by the Senator." Shouted another Senator, which raised a second din in the Senate room, before a second Senator made another loud declaration._

"_The delegation from Chandrila motions to allow Senators and their witnesses to subpoena other necessary powers." Kendalina's head snapped around at the sound of the other Senator- it was a woman, unlike the others who had spoken thus far, with brown and red hair and a young, smooth face that made Kendalina wonder exactly how old she WAS. But there was something off- essentially, the motion she'd just made had proposed putting the powers of the judiciary system into the hands of the Senate. And, consequentially, the Chancellor would gain those powers, as well. Kendalina wanted to shout at her not to make the motion- it was just what the Chancellor wanted, it HAD to be._

_But, Kendalina resigned, she would have been out of line to say so, and in front of the assembly would only cast doubt on her own credibility. She'd have to grit her teeth and when the session was over, retreat and regroup with a different strategy._

"_Second that motion." Another Senator agreed and the vote was put into motion. Kendalina's expression remained as neutral as she could, stepping down for Senator Organa to take the vote- perhaps it was a miracle, perhaps it was luck, or perhaps Senator Organa was temporarily possessed by a kindred spirit, but he seemed to understand the motion, while it would work in their favor for this session, it would also give extra powers to the Chancellor that could prove to be potentially dangerous. At any rate, he gave a negative vote for the motion._

_Kendalina relaxed a little more- several major factions, especially the supporters of Chancellor Palpatine, were turning down the vote because they only saw how it could be immediately used, instead of the potential it could hold for themselves. Kendalina glanced at the Chancellor, almost smirking to herself when she saw the disappointed look on his face._

_Even if his sycophants didn't see it, HE knew the opportunity it would have given him. Ooh, he was in for a letdown. For the first time in what? Going on FOUR YEARS now?_

_The vote came out completely negative- a handful of Senators had voted in it's favor, but the overwhelming majority turned it down. Okay, it would make it harder to call in the Chief of Police and Detectives, but it was one step won already. Senator Organa also gave a sigh and the pod retreated back to its original spot as the rest of the Senate began debating over if the matter was worth continuing discussion for. Kendalina sat back on her heels and waited._

_On one side of the room, a delegation of Non-Humans from the Outer Rim was having a shouting match with their neighbors about the rights of Non-Humans and how, if these medical records were true, species were being discriminated against and not being given their equal rights in the medical care-giving system. The Human delegations arguing with them seemed more interested that one of the creatures in the pod had been born on one of the Confederate planets and what bearing that had on his loyalty to the Republic._

_On the other side, Kendalina was almost proud to see the Corellian diplomats debating with the Malastare and COMPOR representatives, trying to make them see reason as far as the statistics went. The two parties loyal to the Chancellor kept insisting that conclusions based on faulty evidence were not credible and an official source, saying specifically that the crime rate had raised was the only evidence that could be accepted._

_Even more delegations were having arguments with others on opposite sides of the room, some quibbling over the species aspect, some arguing that the Bureau of Statistics should be brought into the Senate to prove that Kendalina wasn't falsifying her records, some even going so far as to argue if this was even a matter for the Senate to debate- that maybe the Courts should handle it, instead. And there were plenty of Senators demanding for the ejection of a witness who didn't belong._

"_This could potentially be very dangerous, Medic Orewahime- I suggest you at least be prepared, in case security is called." Senator Organa muttered to Kendalina, but she just shrugged, keeping her eye carefully on the time, waiting. After all, she still had a few minutes left._

_Almost on cue, security forces arrived at the pod, their blasters visible as they spoke to Kendalina,_

"_Medic Orewahime, we must ask you to leave the Senate Floor." Their tone was polite enough, but still with a hint of menace that made Kendalina keep her guard up, even as another Senator spoke up across the room._

"_The Senate has not yet decided to eject the witness from the Senate Floor- there must still be a motion, and then a vote cast." He interjected, even as another Senator shouted at him to stand down._

"_Witnesses with no relevance to the situation being discussed have no place in this Senate session. Security has a duty to see to the duties of the government and uphold the rights of it's citizens and allowing a civilian with biased opinions into the Rotunda without sufficient cause is..."_

"_With all due respect, Senator Organa brought Medic Orewahime into this session because she noted the rights of our citizens not being protected. This is something that the Senate has a responsibility to see to, if our civilians are being denied their basic rights, and therefore, Senator Organa had the right and the responsibility to bring in a witness to this session." It was with considerable difficulty that Kendalina peered around for the speaker this time- it was a young woman, brown hair, and a dark, velvet dress. Kendalina couldn't help but feel that there was something about this woman that was increasingly familiar, like the scent of someone's perfume lingering in a doorway they'd passed through._

"_Senator Organa, who's that?" She asked, quietly, before the Senator replied._

"_That's Senator Amidala from the Naboo delegation- Originally, it was her motion that voted Chancellor Palpatine into office. I'm surprised you don't know about her, since she's been one of the most outspoken and active Senators opposing the war..." Senator Organa filled her in, with an amused smirk. Kendalina thought it over for a moment, before the words seemed to click._

"_Oh, yeah- wasn't she the one who someone tried to assassinate?" She asked, causing Senator Organa to nod._

"_She's been an activist for peace negotiations since she entered politics... as I recall, she wasn't that much older than you when she was elected... but in any case, almost every faction that has called for ending the war and making treaties has had her backing them." He continued, but Kendalina frowned for just a moment. Maybe she was being cynical, but after all these old geezers trying to at least twist the war to their own profit and benefit, someone wanting peace seemed suspicious._

"_Any idea why?" She asked, quietly. Senator Organa frowned a little, himself, but answered,_

"_For one thing, Naboo itself is a pacifist government on the whole, very much like Alderaan. For another, Senator Amidala, during her term as the Queen, was faced with the invasion of the Trade Federation, so I wouldn't be surprised if that influenced her decisions about war- she is one to think about the consequences of conflict on the civilians, not just the governments and economies, which most Senators will focus on." Senator Organa finished, and Kendalina was smiling again._

_Pacifist. Funny, but Kendalina saw the connection between her and someone else that she knew. Underneath her breath Kendalina snorted, just a little._

_Triclops would like this woman._

_However, the discussion over Kendalina's ejection from the Senate was interrupted as a man arrived at the pod. Not old, but still aging with some gray in his otherwise sand-colored hair and mustache and a professional suit, neatly pressed and a badge in display along with a blaster in it's holster._

"_Sorry for the wait, folks- there was a hold-up at the Galactic Bank that had to be investigated, but now that I'm here, maybe we can clear some things up." The man gave a slight wave to the crowd, but it could have just as easily been a gesture calling for silence from the tittering Senators. Even the Chancellor looked surprised as the Chief of Police and Detectives took a seat in Senator Organa's pod._

_After an awkward silence, the Senate Regulator cleared his throat and began the formal opening statements._

"_Well then, please state your name and position of authority." As the Scribe began to jot down more notes. Kendalina would have pouted, considering that she'd been required to state her age, except she knew perfectly well WHY that had been. The Chief of Police and Detectives stood._

"_Captain Renard Deacon, Chief of Police and Detectives of the Galactic Police Force and Commissioner of the Coruscanti Investigation Bureau." The Chief bowed his head slightly in the Regulator's direction as he answered the question, before a new one was presented to him._

"_And under what authority have you been allowed to this Senate Session?" The Regulator asked, before Captain Deacon pulled out a holodisc and inserted it into the projector on the pod front._

"_An invitation from Senator Organa. Received it last night at Nineteen-Hundred hours while I was still at the office finishing up doc-work." He replied, shortly, "And that's his signature at the bottom if you have any doubts." The Regulator looked slightly miffed at being put in his place, but went on with the questionings in a more polite, less accusatory tone._

"_And, Senator Organa, you confirm sending this invitation?" He asked. Senator Organa sent Kendalina a glance as he stood, but she continued to stare straight ahead._

"_I confirm it." He agreed before sitting back down and glancing over at Kendalina again. Kendalina said nothing, even as Triclops' words came back to her._

_'You'll get in trouble if someone finds out you manipulated the disc Senator Organa sent to you. If he doesn't confirm sending it to the Commissioner, everyone will know that you forged the electronic signature.' But, sure enough, Senator Organa had understood that they were going to need the Captain's testimonial to prove their claims and hadn't called her on her foul._

"_Then, Captain Deacon, may we assume you are willing to disclose information regarding the supposed crime wave that has been recently taking place on Coruscant's streets?" The Regulator asked, but the Captain rolled his eyes._

"_Look, I don't see why you felt the need to pull ME into this room when there's already a shortage of the police task force on the streets, as it is. There is nothing supposed about this crime wave- it's actually happening, and the long and short of it is we don't have enough men to do the job, nor do we have enough power to make the decision to pursue a case without permission from the Senate. Since the Senate's always debating over the war or voting more powers to the Chancellor, it can be months after we GET case before we can actually be permitted to INVESTIGATE it, the army is gone on the war front, and the Jedi Order, which used to be able to fill in the ranks when we didn't have enough detectives or police members, is also being dispatched around the galaxy. With that in mind, because I've been called into medcenters on almost every case of murder, assault, or otherwise injury involving a third-party, I've been in contact with the medics, confirming the causes of death and being able to label them as homicide, assault, attempted murder, rape, domestic abuse, suicide, or accidental death or injury, so chances are, if this medic here tells you the cases are the result of crime, they probably are." Captain Deacon stopped to draw in a breath, taking in the shocked looks from all the Senators gathered. Even the Chancellor had been stopped short._

"_Now, does anyone else want me to go through each individual case as Medic Orewahime brings it up as evidence, confirm it as whatever she says it is, and waste more of our time and the taxpayer's money? Or can we actually get something done here?" It was probably not the most eloquent statement the Senate had ever heard, but the solid facts it presented were more than enough to make the Senate decide to listen to the evidence of Medic, and Chancery Physician, Orewahime with good faith._

_The next few minutes went by quickly as Kendalina presented her evidence, before sitting back down for Senator Organa to make his declaration._

"_Nice way of driving the ball home- I don't think I ever saw the Chancellor look so shocked." She said with a wry smile in the Captain's direction. Captain Deacon chuckled a little as he shot her a similar look back._

"_Should say the same for you. Not many things can make me turn green like those medical reports you read off." He answered. Kendalina nodded, but kept her eyes facing forward as they continued to talk out of the corners of their mouths._

"_How's your wife doing? She and the little one okay?" Kendalina asked. The Captain's face remained stoic in an I'm-paying-attention-honestly look as he replied._

"_She's fine. That's what you get with the greatest doctor this side of the Dune Sea." He said. Kendalina would have beamed under the praise in different circumstances, but for now, remained stoic._

"_Say hi to them for me. And while you're at it, say hi to that sweetheart of yours, too." She was glad that the Senate could be so loud when debate came- Senator Organa had proposed the passing of a new law that protected the citizens of the Republic, even during times of war. Several other Senators were scrambling to amend or add on to it, some with truly ridiculous suggestions that had nothing to do with protection of the citizens at all- one such idea was a regulation for ships to have ion phasers on their plating so space mites couldn't attach themselves and reach the planet's surface._

"_Don't tell anyone- I'd lose my badge." The Captain muttered back, "But pass on my well-wishings to that roommate of yours." He agreed. Kendalina smirked._

"_My lips are sealed- I'd lose my license if anyone found out that 'roommate' of mine is also my bed-buddy." She noted, right back at him. Then, the two fell silent as the vote finally came. The Senate had voted down the proposal for the new law- some had disagreed on some of the tailing amendments, some had disagreed for the original law itself saying it was too expensive, and others were insisting that the war would be over soon, anyway and there would be no use for it._

_Senator Organa sat down with a sigh as the Senate continued their bickering- while the vote was already cast and finalized, many delegations were upset with their neighbors for their choice or why they'd either denied or supported the proposal._

"_Well, it was at least a close vote- maybe during the next session, it might pass." Senator Organa offered, before the Captain leaned in and made a suggestion._

"_Try calling for a Vote of No Confidence in the Chancellor- the Chancellor has the right to veto legislation in times of war, but he hasn't. That's proof enough for me that he's up to something." He offered. Senator Organa looked back over his shoulder with raised eyebrows, then shot Kendalina a look, "I'll back you on it, Senator- Anything to get this damn war over with is fair game by me."_

"_And I'll back you, too." Kendalina agreed. Senator Organa glanced between them again, then smirked, as though to say 'I might just do that.'_

_As soon as the Regulator was able to call order to the Senate, Senator Organa stood up again._

"_With the two witnesses of today as my witnesses and backing me, I call for a Vote of No Confidence in Chancellor Palpatine. Ever since he has been in office, we have done nothing except have conflicts, assassinations, and crises, and the Chancellor holds the power to veto any laws that the Senate passes- however, he has allowed laws to pass that are unjust and only continue to prolong the war, despite his power to stop it in it's tracks. Clearly, there will be no peace with him in office." Senator Organa said, clearly, but was almost immediately met by shouts of near outrage from the other Senators. As expected, almost all of them were quite upset by this proposal, even the ones on Senator Organa's side for the vouch for peace, as they apparently did not see enough evidence to support his claim._

_Less than an hour later, the Senate session ended, and with it, Kendalina's short career as Chancery Physician._

* * *

"_Sorry I had ta do that t'ya, Senator- but yer gettin' to be a suicide ally at this point. In the Senate, there are so many factions that support Chancellor Geezer that if you say you don't like his policies, they're gonna hang you by yer career." Kendalina said, congenially, but apologetically shaking hands with Senator Organa outside the Rotunda. He smiled, slightly, but accepted the apology._

"_I've come to a similar conclusion myself- not many others are willing to associate with me these days, so I must pick my battles, carefully. But, given the situation he was forcing you into, I think I understand." Kendalina grinned, widely, before she reached down and pulled off her uncomfortable shoes and then reached back up and mussed her hair._

"_In any case, maybe you should start using your unpopularity to your advantage- maybe during the next session, introduce a bunch of laws that would grant powers to the Chancellor or prolong the war, and let your loss of good will in the Senate kill the bills for you." She suggested, making even the Senator laugh. Even if the suggestion was a bad one, it was still light enough to be humorous._

"_I'll keep that in mind, but for now, I think the Chancellor wants to speak with you." Senator Organa stepped out of the way, leaving room for the Chancellor, flanked by two guards all in red, to come up and speak to her._

"_I'm sad to see you leave us so soon, Medic Orewahime." He said, sounding sincerely apologetic, but Kendalina could guess it was for a few reasons other than what the press would report, "However, I would like to say I am very impressed with how you turned down the offer while saving everyone some face."_

"_Is that a 'Thank You', Chancellor, for including YOU in the list of people who saved face today?" She asked, slyly, even as the Chancellor chuckled._

"_You could say that, indeed." He agreed, "And may I wish you good fortune in your future prospects- I can see you are indeed destined for greatness." Kendalina raised an eyebrow before the Chancellor explained, "I heard the stories from the Jedi Council how you used to insist you would become the Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived. A young woman such as yourself, who would turn down the position for Chancery Physician to stand up for the principles she believes in and because she insists her place is with the people who need her most- I can't imagine that you will find anything less."_

_Kendalina almost frowned at the smile on the Chancellor's face- a good deal of it seemed sincere, but she couldn't help but wonder how much of it wasn't, and there was a lingering sense in the back of her head that told her he was smiling at her to try and take her off guard, that he was actually terrified of her and that was why he was being so good-natured._

_Still, she kept her own poker face on and smiled back, extending her own hand to meet and shake with the Chancellor's._

"_Thank you, Chancellor Palpatine- it was you who said it in the first place that the Jedi Order had found a genius in its midst." She said, before the two turned their different ways and Kendalina went skipping, barefoot, to the doorway, where the shadow of a tall, odd man with unruly hair awaited her._

* * *

"_Perhaps we were wrong about Padawan Orewahime." Mace Windu suggested as the HoloCast ended._

_The whole thing had broadcasted, start to finish, the session the Senate had held, and he had not been the only member of the Jedi Council surprised to see Padawan Orewahime taking the stand in the session. At first, almost everyone in the Council room, at the time it was casted, thought she'd been acting foolishly, not thinking clearly as she went about the proceedings of the Senate debate, before one of the Masters noticed that Padawan Orewahime had been deliberately trying to lose the debate. Even then, it was very well done that all present had been forced to watch very carefully to catch it._

"_Would anyone else care for a re-vote in the matter?" Asked Master Allie, before Master Mundi raised a hand._

"_I motion to reconsider." Master Kolar raised his hand._

"_I second." And then, the Council voted, almost unanimously choosing to change their decision regarding the case of Padawan Orewahime._

"_I would like to make a proposal." Offered Master Kenobi, gaining the respectful attention of the Council as he spoke, "In the event that Padawan Orewahime accepts the reconsidered decision, and she should find Jedi Retaw, as she proposed she would, that we reconsider her case as well."_

_There was a pause, but Master Yoda had a sage, almost knowing smile on his face, and each member of the Council knew that Master Kenobi's suggestion was just like a suggestion that Master Jiin would have made, had he ever been appointed to the Council. There were looks exchanged in silent discussion, before Master Tiin raised his hand._

"_I second that."_

_And the second vote began._

* * *

_Kendalina and Triclops met the other's embrace with much enthusiasm, uncaring of the stares they were attracting from departing Senators and their aids, before Kendalina finally got down from her tiptoes and grinned up at Triclops._

"_Well... you were right about the dress." She finally said. Triclops' lips twitched a little upwards, even though Kendalina knew he was just trying not to look too smug, "And I believe I promised you a reward if things went well today." There was a gleam in Kendalina's eye that any other teenaged boy would have reacted to in a rather primitive manner, but Triclops either didn't see it, or didn't care._

"_Anything?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina smirked._

"_I believe I did say that, yes..." She agreed, putting her arms back around Triclops' shoulders to whisper into his ear. Triclops put his hands back on her lower back, but didn't seem to be reacting in quite the way she expected._

"_...Even..." Triclops paused, while Kendalina continued to grin._

"_Mmm?" She muttered, fingers drumming on Triclops' shoulders._

"_Even a kitten?" He finally asked, eyes pleading._

_All of Kendalina's pretenses of being seductive dropped as she released Triclops' shoulders and slid down from being on her toes, staring at her roommate with utmost amazement and incredulity. His response had obviously not been what she'd been expecting._

"_...A kitten?" She repeated, slowly. Triclops looked panicked for a moment, before he tried to explain._

"_It doesn't have to be big... or even a real one- just a small, stuffed kitten, since you kept saying we couldn't have real pets because of the landlord... so, I was just thinking..." Triclops rambled, even as Kendalina continued to stare at him, shaking her head._

"_I offered to let you have anything- ANYTHING at all- within reasonable possibilities... and you want a kriffing CAT?" Kendalina finally said, continuing to stare at Triclops. He blinked at her, before nodding, slowly._

"_Yes..." He confirmed, even as Kendalina tried to understand it._

"_...I don't suppose the idea of SEX occurred to you, did it?" She said, slowly, but loudly enough that it drew stares from various adults, whom sniffed disapprovingly as they passed. Triclops blinked back at her a few times, before he finally replied._

"_But... I can get sex from you ANY time if I just ask nicely... why waste a SPECIAL occasion like this on THAT?" He asked, puzzled. Kendalina's cheeks puffed up, but she couldn't very well hit Triclops when she knew he was right, so she finally let herself deflate and turned, pulling Triclops with her._

"_Fine- you win. You want a kitten, and a kitten you shall have- I'll get you the biggest damn stuffed cat they HAVE in the store." Even as Triclops faintly protested that he'd just said it didn't have to be big._

* * *

'Those days are over, now...' Kendalina thought to herself as she turned off her lamp and lay back down to try and rest a little, even as she heard the sounds of screaming and blaster fire just outside the mouth of the cave she and Kao-Lin were hiding in. 

End Part III

I've gotta know how I'm doing before I continue onto Part IV.


	25. Part IV: Chapter 1

PRINCESS

By Sapadu

Part IV: Concentration

con·cen·tra·tion /ˌkɒnsənˈtreɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - [kon-s_uh_n-**trey**-sh_uh_n

–noun

1. the strength of a solution; number of molecules of a substance in a given volume

2. the spatial property of being crowded together

3. strengthening the concentration (as of a solute in a mixture) by removing diluting material

4. increase in density

5. complete attention; intense mental effort

6. bringing together military forces

7. great and constant diligence and attention

Under a bright pink sky, Triclops marched. His feet were bare, his clothes were dirty, and his hair needed washing.

There was a smell in the air- they'd all smelt it before the doors to the hull had been opened- sickeningly sweet, and cloyingly heavy. It oppressed Triclops' senses, making him wonder exactly what that smell was.

It was a kind of choking sweetness. Triclops wondered if he'd smelt it before. The bitterness that the air left in his mouth if he breathed through there, instead of his nose... it seemed too familiar, like a kind of nut.

Triclops could see the rest who had been in the hull with him. He was the only one alone- the rest were with families, had bags, clothes, and belongings with them... Most of what Triclops saw were alien families, or supporters of the Separatists that had been shown on HoloCasts when he'd gone out with Kendalina...

There were troopers before them, each holding fierce weapons, and the eyes in their helmets glaring out, impassively.

"Leave the bags in the hull." The Commander said, gesturing to all the fellow residents that stood next to Triclops, and then a command was made in languages that Triclops didn't understand. Perhaps to address the aliens who didn't speak or understand Basic. Triclops heard a great sigh issue from all around him, but not a single, true complaint, and all of the passengers were led out of the hull with only what they wore.

What Triclops saw on the ground was a large building- instead of tall, like most buildings he'd seen, it was flattened against the ground, and covered a large portion of the flat ground it stood on. Surrounding it was a ring of posts, though their purpose seemed to be nullified, as there was no wire or gate between posts. And there was still that smell- that intoxicating smell of something offensively sweet.

On the horizon, Triclops could see high towers- mere sticks pointing upward towards the blinding sky with platforms resting on the points. He could barely make out the figures of the white uniforms of the troopers, and the pitch black of large, mean blasters that they carried. That purpose, Triclops supposed, was easy enough to guess.

"Form two straight lines." Barked the Commander again, and it was repeated for the different languages. Triclops felt his feet moving, carelessly, into a position as two lines formed themselves, eerily silent for the number of people assembled. There was a blow from a whistle, and on basic instinct, Triclops allowed his feet to fall into step of a basic march. The others around him did the same more or less, though Triclops felt the lag in the line when a small child fell out of step, saying it was hungry or tired and the mother having to pick it up.

The lines followed the troop Commander who led them, the march going along the edge of the first line of posts they had seen, and Triclops soon realized there was a second row, on the other side, so they marched between the two rows. Again, he couldn't help but wonder their purpose.

It was made plain after an hour of marching, what the posts were for- a girl farther up in the lines saw a bit of plant growing just outside the second line of posts, and fell out of line to go and pick the flowers she saw growing. The troops made no move to stop her, though they did tell the marchers to keep moving, and as soon as the girl reached the posts it became evident they hadn't needed to interfere.

Ice blue lines of electricity sprang from between the posts, catching the girl in a crossfire, until she dropped, not even twitching. Triclops heard a scream from what he could only deduce was some relative of the child's, only to be followed by orders from the troops to keep moving. Triclops' head didn't turn to stay on the girl's body as he passed, but his eyes kept on her until she vanished from his peripheral vision.

In another hour, Triclops saw more from the corner of his eye- more ships, just like the ones they had arrived on. He saw more people being unloaded, being told to leave their bags behind. Some ships looked worse than others- on the floors, he could see a body or four, of some sickly, unfortunate soul which hadn't survived the trip. Faintly, remembering the conditions on the transport he'd arrived on, he wondered if the dead ones had died from hunger, thirst, heat, or had simply been dying to begin with.

"Continue marching." He heard from the Commanders. He did just that, and didn't look back. His third eye remained closed- he didn't want to risk whatever punishment difference invoked in this place.

After another two hours of marching, they came to a stop. A guard stood between them and the posts that separated the outside from the building. With a sharp gesture, all the prisoners- there was no denying now that that's what they were- were beckoned forward. A box was sitting on a hovercart, the lid off.

"All valuables are to be placed in here- anything of material value, you will put in this box." The Commander said, and began to walk down the lines, sometimes taking away a possession from someone not willing to give it up. Triclops heard the tingling of metal as jewelry was taken off and thrown together. He saw an old couple of aliens- he couldn't tell the species- crying as they vainly tried to pry matching wedding bands from their arms, and Triclops suppressed the pang he felt... the bitterness, knowing he would never exchange something of that significance with someone who he cared for.

Triclops let his eyes wander, impassively, watching and taking detailed note of the occurrences- a boy refusing to hand over a holo of a dead older cousin was beaten, and then the holo removed from his limp fingers, before the cart continued on. A pair of twi'lek girls were told at gun point to remove all jewelry they wore- Triclops did not know if they'd been captured from a bust at a strip-dance bar, or if they had been slaves to a sleazy bureaucrat, because the only things they wore WERE jewelry- and the box left them behind, clinging to each other in attempts to preserve some dignity.

The cart passed Triclops without a word- he wore no valuables and bore no decorations.

The woman next to him wrestled with the troopers as they attempted to take the ring she was keeping out of their reach. Triclops flinched out of the way of a stun beam, before he saw the woman desperately stuff the ring down her throat and swallow it. She was smashed over the head with the butt of a gun, then dragged out of line. The little one next to her who might have been her child or grandchild didn't protest- Triclops could tell he was too scared.

"Women line up to go to the right. Men line up on the left." The Commander shouted again, and Triclops noted that there was no repeat in different languages this time. It was clear enough, though, as the basic speakers examples were followed by all others. Triclops saw couples holding hands tightly for as long as they could before the guard forced them to break apart. A boy no older than five clung to his mother's hand, before an older man gently pried the little fingers off the woman's hand, dragging him toward the men's line.

Up ahead in the mens line, Triclops could see two boys close enough in age and appearance to be brothers holding each other's hands tightly, as though trying to mold their skin, and Triclops was painfully reminded of himself and Kendalina. He almost wished that she was here, with him, even if they would have been just separated.

Almost.

He could hear the screaming from behind him as a trooper used a blaster to separate a pair of two people- maybe friends, maybe family- who had refused to let go of each other's hands. He didn't understand the words, but he understood every bit of meaning behind them...

Triclops swallowed hard and waited for it to end.

The women were led away. Triclops didn't see where they'd gone- he had no interest in watching any more. They reached the door in the building which they were to be lead through, but a guard stopped them again.

"Left." He barked to the first man who stood before him. That man went left, and the next man came forward, a grandfatherly man, who looked like a kind of gentleman, despite his raggedness.

"Right." The man went right. The next man was a boy- the five year old.

"Right." He went right, quivering as he did. The next man was short, but still fit, as it was plain to see.

"Left." He went left. His son, who'd followed on his heels, was dragged back before the officer, who told him to go right.

Triclops saw the brothers ahead be told to separate- one to go left, the other to go right. It was done, in the end, with a commotion and violent breaking of grips, but happened, none-the-less, and he was again reminded of Kendalina and himself with a sickening twist in his gut. Except he was quite certain Kendalina would not have submitted to the separation and gotten the both of them killed instead of the two boys he saw ahead of him.

Triclops came before the inspection officer, who told him to go left without a second glance. He looked back, at last, seeing the ones who'd been sorted to the right- the younger of them were afraid, it was plain to see, as the little boys cried for their parents and were told to be silent by the guards, and Triclops saw the gaze of the boy who had been separated from his brother still maintaining eye contact with the other in the left group.

They were scared. Everyone was, except for some of the older ones who assumed everything would be alright if they just obeyed directions. Somehow, Triclops knew better- there was something inherently wrong about these proceedings and the manner the guards were treating them which made him feel like it was no ordinary prison they were going to be held in.

The sorting finished and the groups were led away. Triclops heard the howls of the frightened young ones being sent to the right, and ground his teeth to keep quiet.

The left group was stopped again, inside the building. He held a notice in his hand.

"The prisoners are to strip down and follow the guard- you will wash, have a change of clothes, and be inspected for disease." At this, Triclops couldn't suppress the shudder he felt at the concept of being naked out in view of everyone there, but knew what would happen otherwise, so immediately did as he was told. He thought to himself, reinforcing over and over, how this wasn't so unpleasant- his clothes were dirty and he needed a wash, anyway. He could bear the gaze of complete strangers and allow the absence of privacy, since he had a feeling this would be the last time in a long while that he would be allowed cleanliness.

The rustling around him let him keep his eyes down and closed knowing that all of the other men present were also bare at this point. He felt the ushering of the guards, pressing them into a single room, completely tiled, but still utterly rancid, with cracks between tiles, mold growing in them, and rotting cement giving a bitter stank to the air- though it was a relief from the sickly sweetness outside. All prisoners were given a broken piece of soap, and the doors were shut, spurts of red, rusty water dousing all of them, worsening the smell, but getting everyone wet, all the same.

Triclops wordlessly rubbed his soap over his body as quickly as he could, not knowing when the water would shut off. The doors being closed meant that this was the one place the troops had left them alone in, so the other prisoners began to talk, but in hushed voices.

Triclops ignored them, keeping his mind carefully blank, eyes closed, and head down. His body was stinging with growing pains in his legs and stomach and shoulders and arms, skin shriveling in the water, even as he tried to will himself away from this place. Part of him wanted to pretend he was still back in the apartment with Kendalina, even in that filthy fresher where she unashamedly got in with him and insisted on sitting on his shoulders to wash his hair. That part of him kept insisting the power of suggestion would at least make the claustrophobic, indecent, stagnant room he was in at least a little more bearable. However, the other part of Triclops that knew better felt even more bitterness that the fantasy would never be reality again, and the argument ended when the guards opened the doors again, shut the water off, and shooed them back out.

The room was emptied quickly, and silence retook the group. Triclops didn't say anything as he stepped back out, forcing his mind blank that the guards could see him, completely nude and unprotected and shivering from the bitterly cold water still clinging to his skin.

Outside, a table waited them- at the front was a basin of acid, which each prisoner had rubbed into his head to kill any parasites in his hair.

Triclops shut his third eye as tightly as he could before his scalp was treated. The eyelid felt irritated, it itched, and Triclops wanted to scratch it, or at least some kind of base to put over it so he wasn't tempted to scratch, but the eyeball underneath was still safe.

The next spot was a guard with a pair of shears, who cut everyone's hair as short and close to the scalp as possible. Again, Triclops shut his eye, and was relieved when he didn't feel a poke.

The third was a stack of uniforms. The first man to receive his received one several sizes too small, but the shirt stayed on, and the pants covered his genitals, which was all he seemed to want. The boy who'd been separated from his twin received only a large shirt, which barely covered down his thighs. Triclops' was too large, but he could live with that- for the past three years, he'd been growing at a strange, awkward pace, and he had no doubt that this uniform would fit him perfectly before the month was out, maybe even be too small by then.

The guard pressed them forward to a trooper with a tattoo brand. Triclops hadn't been expecting this, but did not struggle as he was marked- he couldn't stop the loud noise that issued from his throat as the brander made a mark on his inner arm, though. He felt a prod in his lower back, ordering him to be quiet.

63696. He was the same number. But, more importantly, he was just a number, all over again.

They were then pushed along to a table where a guard waited with something like patches and a sticking iron. For each prisoner, a patch was selected, then the iron run over the patch as it rested on the shirt of the prisoner, so the patch stuck to the cloth.

Triclops came to the table and a man appeared out of the shadows from behind the guard.

"This one, the Emperor has special orders for." Triclops heard a voice say and a piece of flimsiplast with the same official writing Kendalina had brought back to the apartment so many times was presented to the guard.

Triclops didn't find out what it meant until he was shoved off to the side and the other prisoners were led away. The man who had brought the order lowered his black hood and gave Triclops a square look.

He was pale- paler than Triclops and sickly looking at that- his hair was black, as were his eyes, and his face was as grave as death. He gave Triclops a final glance before he spoke. The only thing in the world that Triclops had to be happy about was that he wasn't Darth Vader, by any long measure.

Yet... despite the fact that Triclops had never met this man, there was a lingering sense of familiarity around him, similar to as though he were wearing the same kind of shirt that Triclops had seen another person wear. He couldn't put his finger on it, but this man just seemed... seemed to have... there had to be a word for it, Triclops just KNEW it, but he couldn't remember what that word was... the sense of having seen just the very ghost of this man, but not enough that Triclops would remember a face or put a name to him.

Fleeting- that was the word. The memory of this man was fleeting... perhaps Triclops had had a dream about him, or had just seen him passing by in a crowd...

The man snorted, loudly.

"What is to be done with him, then?" The Commander asked the man. His reply was short, but at the same time, all emotion which he'd heard in the derisive question before disappeared, leaving only the sound of words issuing from a machine-like throat.

"He is to be kept alive and monitored in solitary confinement. Keep him alive and, if it is necessary, keep him healthy. He will be more useful with his hands bound and the doors locked than if he were made to labor with the other prisoners." Triclops' expression didn't change at this- his memories were still suppressed, but enough had returned to the surface that he knew the kind of place he'd been in before, even if it was in a factual, textbook sense, and it was enough to make him more than happy he would be alone.

Triclops felt his arm seized by the patch man, who ironed a black triangle patch on his sleeve- Triclops felt how hot the iron was, but the poor cloth between his skin and the metal saved him a burn. A second triangle badge was ironed on over it- a red one- and then under that, a patch with the letter 'Mern' on it.

He didn't know what these meant. Even if he had, he doubted he could have done anything about it- he was the prisoner, here. He was inferior.

He was led away. Triclops walked wordlessly, soundlessly, expressionlessly. He remembered this place- only a faint memory, while he heard the voice in the back of his head telling him what had happened here... to HIM... so many years ago.

There was, again, the facts of his situation that Triclops remembered, but none of the events, none of the memories, none of the emotion or pain or disgrace. He knew, from the research he'd done, that this place was an outpost for slave-trading- Kessel needed slaves to labor in the mines, and when they were no longer fit to mine spice or pack it or anything of that sort, they were sold for other purposes to the highest bidder, or sometimes, just kept in the rooms and used in the sex-for-hire trade.

Triclops knew that he'd once belonged to this place, even if he couldn't remember why.

The ideas of all this bothered him, just as much as it would bother any other person, but the fact that there were obviously other things going on in this place and he couldn't identify them was nagging at him- There were more buildings here than any prison would have, and so many of them looked almost like they might be medical centers, but that didn't make any sense- what use would a prison have for medcenters THAT large? Surely they didn't care about the welfare of their prisoners.

And those smells... it disturbed Triclops to not know what some of them were. There was a distinct smell of smoking meat and melted bone that belonged to burning bodies- there was nothing else Triclops could mistake it for, even when he had never smelt burning flesh before. It was the sweetness he couldn't place.

He was led to a room. The others had gone to barracks. Triclops was to be alone. He had expected something else, but this was quite preferable. Maybe they'd just leave him alone this time.

'But you're not alone.' He said, 'That's what my purpose is.'

The room was only three meters in all directions. The walls and floor were cut from uneven stone- as though they'd just been picked, then cemented together. Triclops couldn't lean against the walls, he couldn't stand or stretch, and laying down was another kind of hell. He managed to curl and weave his arms so that his side rested on the edge of the jagged rocks, as opposed to the sharp points.

It wasn't comfortable. But he could live with it.

'If they torture you, just call me.' The other him said, 'That's my job.'

Triclops didn't respond to him. Instead, he thought,

'Damn it.' On the outside, he was a walking corpse. On the inside, only the other half of his mind could see his one thought, one emotion.

'I came so far... just to be back where I started...'

He felt a mental shrug.

'That's life.'

* * *

Triclops was awakened far too early in the morning. A guard was poking him with the sharp point of his blaster and finally, Triclops crawled out and stood straight. The sky was still pink, but it was a very dull pink, and there was barely any light for Triclops to see, but he did the best he could.

He simply stood in the cold air of the outside of Kessel- inside that cramped solitary confinement cell had hardly been better, but at least his body heat had been trapped by the insulating nature of the rocks- until a guard came over. Even in the dim light, Triclops could see him walking from his personal barracks.

'Oh, please, TAKE your sweet ass pimp time...' Triclops heard his other voice mumble. Triclops ignored it, but was becoming extremely disconcerted that he could hear and communicate with this split-personality of his.

The guard looked Triclops over, took out a file board and noted down a mark. Triclops didn't know what that meant, but he hadn't said anything to the other guards, so he assumed this was a good thing.

After a moment, the guard handed Triclops a tiny piece of metal that was shaped vaguely like a cup. Inside it was some water with some brown dust settled in the bottom and a piece of bread... if it could be called that- it was mostly covered with something black, and the piece was roughly the size of his palm, barely three millimeters thick, yet it managed to feel like he was holding something heavier than a piece of bread that SHOULD have been at most fifty grams.

Without being told, Triclops stuffed the bread into his mouth, whole- it tasted like the soil beneath his feet and the texture was even worse than the soil. Triclops gulped down the water and recognized the taste from the sludge in the bottom to be some kind of ground up seed- but not one fit for consumption, by any means. It softened the bread, though, enough that Triclops could chew and swallow the paltry breakfast.

It was only as he swallowed that he felt something slimy touch the back of his throat, and he realized there were larvae of pests in the bread. Who knew how many he'd just swallowed, but it was just enough that he felt sick to think about it.

Before he could recover, however, Triclops was told to follow the guard to another building. Triclops could have sworn that he heard the voice in the back of his head swear, but he did as he was told.

The march was long and cold- the air was somehow still oppressive with that smell of sweet, deadly gas in the air and the thick smoke that was coming from the furnace cum incinerators. Triclops shivered at how bitterly cold the air was, even without the wind chill, and the additional lack of proper clothing to keep him warm was not a comfort.

From what he could see, the building where he was being led to had some kind of putrid smoke to fortify the false atmosphere with was pumping from a stack. But what the purpose of the building was, he could not tell.

Inside, however, he quickly discovered that it was a medical building. Only half of it, however, looked to be fit to actually care for those who were sick or injured.

The rest was nothing more than a laboratory for lab ranats.

The room he was placed in was one of those.

Triclops watched, impassively, as the men prepared a series of needles and syringes. He closed his eyes and bit the tip of his tongue as both his arms were inserted with the long tubes, before a searing pain from whatever was in them rippled through his veins. Whether it was poison, acid, base, or some other kind of chemical- they could be pumping molten alloys into his bloodstream, for all he knew- it HURT.

'God DAMN it...'

* * *

The experiments continued every day for each week. Triclops wasn't sure how his body was surviving- so much of what they were doing to him could NOT be helping his physical health, if anything, it should be destructive to a majority of Human bodily functions. The only way that he didn't die from the pain alone was because his other self kept taking over, every day now, pushing him into a state of unconscious awareness.

It was beginning to bother Triclops, in a moral sense, that the other him was taking all of the pain FOR him- even though he didn't feel any of it, himself, Triclops still KNEW what was happening to him. Every needle, every scalpel, every injection, and Triclops knew what they were doing, but it was in that detached sense, as though he were reading it from a story.

He also knew that his other personality wasn't making any noise- he didn't want to give the "medics" the satisfaction.

It disturbed Triclops immensely that he wasn't the one doing that.

During the second week, the other personality inside Triclops lost patience at being forced to endure the sickening tests the controlling doctors kept trying on him.

The Imperial scientists and stormtroopers standing outside on guard were more than surprised when #63696 broke the restraints and rose off the table with a confident smirk and a kind of aura of power surrounding him that none of them had ever seen.

"I won't let you do whatever you please."

* * *

By the third week, the task of trying to overpower the maniac prisoner #63696 had become too great a labor for a mere squad of four or five troopers and a larger division was requested to quell the single, troublesome rioter.

The reinforcement squad arrived in the room, whose walls were now coated with blood, splattered organs, and skewered bodies of the old scientists and troopers. The only living person was standing, staring down at the floor with blood splattered all over him, and grinning madly as they entered the room.

Before he could move, they sprayed sleeping gas to fill the room.

* * *

The fourth week, Triclops had begun attempts to defy the Imperials in his own way, albeit passively. He stopped eating the bread he was given every morning, hiding it in his sleeves and only slurped the water out of the cup, leaving behind the attempts at coffee.

However, barely the fifth week came and the guard inspected the cell and found the crumbs of Triclops' hidden bread.

Almost immediately, the blunt, hard end of something connected with the side of Triclops' head, sending him to the ground with his ears throbbing in a headache. Triclops put his hands over the back of his head to protect his eye and the back of his skull, but something like a thick leathery rope sliced through his shirt, hitting him between the ribs where he had no fat to protect his organs except the skin. A second lash caught him on the shoulders, slashing away the flesh over the tip of his collarbone where it connected with his shoulder joint. The third blow hit his spine and he passed out.

When he awoke, there was blood on the floor, enough to make Triclops gag, but his stomach wasn't quite twisted enough to be sick, just yet. His back was raw and throbbing with searing pain and he felt as though his very lungs, stomach, and intestines were cringing away from the cold that penetrated his skin.

But at least he was alone in his cell again. It had been a single, brutal whipping, but it had saved him from having to be strapped down to the medical table for a day, or perhaps even longer. Triclops was unsure, but starting to regain hope- after all, these wounds wouldn't close overnight.

While he had been left mercifully in solitude, the guards had had no care to place him in a comfortable position- currently, he was laying on some very sharp points of rocks, just a step down from being sharp enough to puncture his skin. Laying on them was an exercise in torture all by itself, but to move... Triclops cautiously shifted one arm and his entire torso seemed to scream in protest. The lines of bloody scars seemed to dig even deeper and grow even wider and longer as Triclops tried to sit up.

Yes, moving was a BAD idea. But it had to be done. Triclops tried using his legs- they moved painlessly enough, but connected with a wall too quickly. Cautiously, Triclops bent his knees, trying to curl up so he could use his feet to push himself on his side. As the space between his belly and his thighs shortened, his back stretched and burned, but it was bearable enough, until Triclops tried to put his head between his knees.

Bad bad BAD idea...

Triclops coughed a little as an involuntary moan made its way from his throat, before he made up his mind- he had to move, and he might as well get it over with.

Now, if only he could see where he was and where that comfortable slope of rock without points was- even as he opened his eyes, he couldn't have seen the hand in front of his face with the blinding darkness that suffused the small space and trying to turn his head was a new species of pain just waiting to breed.

Then, he remembered... that third eye of his... might be able to do something... just SOMEthing. He opened it.

And saw everything. It saw through the darkness in the cell, it saw through the walls of the cells, it saw through practically everything. He could see a planet far away with fur-covered creatures that were climbing to their homes in trees, several ships arriving and capturing whole tribes of them. He could see the Jedi Temple crawling with students, even though he knew that all the younglings had been killed, and one of them looked suspiciously like Master Yoda, except with hair that wasn't white. He could see whole stars being formed and destroyed, planets moving, and suns and moons rising.

Triclops shut his eye quickly, arms going back to grip the back of his head before he could remember how much it was going to hurt, and being very surprised with pain when it shot through his shoulders.

Closing his eyes and cautiously trying to open his eye just a sliver. Again, a whole barrage of images came to his mind, sending his head reeling.

Still, he'd seen the glimpse of his cell enough that he knew where to move. Even as his back seared with pain and the scabs over the wounds opened up again, oozing hot blood out and down his sides, Triclops pushed himself to his hands and knees, and skirted over to the smooth bed of rock to lay down again.

Then, he threw up- it was mostly water in his stomach, but Triclops couldn't help it. The smell and taste of blood in the air was making his head ache and his stomach felt like it had been tied into knots. Every inch of his skin was shaking and felt like paper over a wire frame and his insides shivered. Triclops raised his hand to plug his nose and tried to breathe through his mouth, but there was a metallic, bitter taste to the air.

His back and sides ached, and he was probably not going to be fed this night, but he had stopped them from taking him to the lab today.

It was as close to a victory as he would come.

* * *

After two months of the same trying situation, Triclops stopped resisting. Every time he saw the wounds on his back reopen and begin to bleed, his shaking just got worse. Just the day before he'd stopped resisting, the guard hadn't even needed the rope or to even touch Triclops- he'd cut his own finger open. Just the sound of the flesh being broken and the splash of blood on the ground had been enough to subdue Triclops that time.

His other self, however, did not give up. If anything, Triclops' surrender just seemed to spur him on. The lab table came back, and even if Triclops allowed himself to be strapped down, the other him would just rip the restraints off a minute later, throw off the eight medics attempting to hold him down and subdue him, and either tear them apart or crush their skulls with his bare hands.

Triclops was beginning to regret that he'd ever felt guilty for remaining unconscious during those whole periods of time when his other personality was in control- as though to make up for it, his other self had been constantly thrusting Triclops back out when the slaughter was finished, hands, face, floor, and body still thoroughly covered in blood, and then leaving him to have a breakdown until the reinforcements arrived and sedated him again.

Before the third month was over, it took ten and a half squads and enough gas to poison five people to subdue Triclops' other self. The way he put it, there were several different reasons for this approach.

'One way I see it, if I've got resistance built up to their guards and chemicals, eventually, it'll get to the point that even if they can keep us in a cell, they won't be able to DO anything else. Hell, they won't even be able to execute us- the body has an immunity to their poison gas now and the skin's become so tough that blaster bolts and saber blades can't break it.' He didn't even sound like he was trying to defend himself to Triclops, but rather like he was pointing out that he was right and Triclops was wrong.

'And, eventually, they're gonna start running out of scientists to send down and experiment on this body- it's gonna get to the point that I either kill them all off, or they'll stop sending in scientists every day. Either way, we're finally gonna get some peace and quiet around here.'

Triclops pleadingly implored him to stop, because the guards assigned to watch over him would take out their frustrations on Triclops when the other self was sedated and his hematophobia was becoming a device that they could use against him, now.

Triclops' other face didn't give a ranat's ass about any of that.

* * *

Triclops tried using his eye again, about two months after his first attempt. His other self had been right about the shortage of scientists- mostly stormtrooper guards were in charge of him, now, following directions programmed for them into a data disc. Today, they'd tried a new tactic of strapping him down, face-first on the lab table instead of on his back. The theory, Triclops supposed, was that different muscles were used when the limbs were moved in different directions, and he wouldn't have enough strength in the particular muscles needed to pull off the restraints from these new angles.

Whatever the reason, Triclops found himself with his nose pressed flat to the table, trying to breathe loud enough to ignore what the squad of easily twenty stormtroopers talked over his head about what was to be done that day. His eyes were shut tightly against the table, before he thought about trying again.

Again, Triclops saw a whole swirl of different things, most from places far beyond where he was, but this time, he could process it a little better- some of the things he saw were different, and it was enough to give him a hint of what it was he was seeing.

Both the present and the past and some things which had yet to come still. What really gave Triclops that hint was that he'd seen himself, however briefly, twice- once in a flash of the Jedi Temple, sitting in a room with a girl with long brown hair wearing boy's clothes, and the other time in a glimpse of a planet covered in green foliage and a tall, white-haired man keeping himself sheltered from the rain under a leaf that was twice his size. It was unmistakably himself, but in different stages of his life, which only led Triclops to the conclusion he was seeing something beyond reality at the time.

His contemplation was interrupted when he heard noises around him and shut his eye. Turning his head to the side, he could see the rows of what had been organized and orderly tables, trays, and equipment was now all turned upside down. The men had been thrown against the walls, some were even limp now, and Triclops couldn't help but note, as he turned his head in the opposite direction, that he was now staring at the ceiling of the room, as though something had tipped the table he was on onto it's side.

The stormtroopers who hadn't gone limp and were still conscious enough to be back on their feet and trying to make sense of the situation were just as confused as Triclops, and thankfully didn't take it out on him for whatever it was that had just turned the room upside down.

'I think that's enough for today- let's see how fast these suckers can run.' Triclops barely had time to react before the familiar glaze of being taken over by his other self came through.

Frustrated, Triclops imagined himself kicking a wall or something of the like, before it occurred to him that his other half was probably doing something much more constructive with those kicks- and, most likely, he was sending some of the stormtroopers across the room with just a tap of his toe.

Suddenly, Triclops felt a bit better.

* * *

'Ha- you were the one born with the damn thing and you STILL don't know how to USE it.' Triclops was becoming a bit more accustomed to having to hear this other voice actually talk to him on a daily basis- he supposed that the time he had allowed his other self out to fight off the troops in his vain attempt to protect the younglings had broken the barrier which had kept them separate.

What irritated him was that this other half of himself seemed to be less like a different side of his personality in the same body and more like a completely different person that was quickly becoming a very annoying roommate. While there were other issues surrounding Triclops to be more uncomfortable, displeased, or irritated with, very few of them were in his control. So, rather than feel sullen and hard-done-by because of the horrible food, filthy water, poor sleeping conditions, and torture, he was choosing to pick his battles that COULD be won.

This one was being waged against ill-tempered companions.

'So, you know what this odd eye of mine does while I do not and you can use its abilities better than myself. That is no reason to brag.' Triclops said as calmly as could be expected. He was also becoming aware of a third personality altogether that was neither himself, nor this other face, but just a personality that emerged when he was short on sleep and in a particularly bad mood.

While he wasn't sure what to address his other self, he had a vague idea that Kendalina would call his third face something along the lines of 'Mr. Grumpy'.

'Sure it is- you don't know how to use a freak eye you were BORN with, but I do and I wasn't even the original personality.' Triclops still was not able to see where this voice was manifesting itself, which made him feel incredibly foolish talking to nothing.

'And your point is?' Triclops returned, hoping that this other, ridiculously smug and haughty version of himself would be put off by his lack of response enough to stop pestering him.

He wasn't.

'My point...' The voice in the back of his head said, pointedly, '...Is that you should be ashamed of yourself. The least YOU could do is try to figure out what it DOES!'

That had been confusing Triclops for some time now- he'd never used the eye in the back of his head, since it was just ridiculous to open it up to look behind him when he could just as easily turn his head and look over his shoulder. With this taken into consideration, Triclops still didn't know what his eye was capable of, always thinking that it was just an ordinary eye that simply saw down his back.

'Then, perhaps, you could enlighten me.' Triclops suggested, dryly. He did not expect for the other side of him to take him literally.

'Maybe I will- draw up a chair, why don't you?'

A/N: O-kaaaay! The final segment in this story has officially begun. Keep your eyes out for little baby Ken- it'll be cute enough, you'll choke. And, I took most of the descriptions of the prison from accounts of Holocaust survivors. In my mind, the Kessel spice mines have ALWAYS equaled the Holocaust.


	26. Part IV: Chapter 2

By Sapadu

Chapter 2: Prepare

pre·pare /prɪˈpɛər/ Pronunciation Key - [pri-**pair** verb, -pared, -par·ing.

–verb (used with object)

1. to put in proper condition or readiness

2. to get (a meal) ready for eating, as by proper assembling, cooking, etc.

3. to manufacture, compound, or compose:

4. Music. to lead up to (a discord, an embellishment, etc.) by some preliminary tone or tones.

–verb (used without object)

5. to put things or oneself in readiness; get ready

A year passed.

Triclops grew used to the days, as a routine developed: be awakened by an abusive poke when the hour was still far too early, be told to stand outside in the bitter cold and do absolutely nothing as the officer for the day took his time coming over and taking record of #63696, be given a palms-width portion of blackened bread to eat within one minute, be taken to the laboratory, be tested, drugged, sedated, and shocked until he passed out and his other self took over, be beaten for the attempted uprising of the day, repeat as necessary, and be taken back to solitary confinement when the day's torture was over- he was the only one who seemed to be surviving. He never saw the other prisoners during the day.

Privately, Triclops wondered if that was for the better. True, he didn't want to see anymore misery and suffering, as would be guaranteed to happen if he had to be cramped in with a large group of people- he might be having a horrible experience, but there were a number of others in these prisons that Triclops was certain were having even worse troubles than he- but at the same time, he wanted some assurance that there were still some other people alive in the galaxy than just himself and the men who were finding seeming delight in tearing him apart every day.

It seemed foolish, but there were just some days that he would be put back in that little cell of confinement, and every part of his body screamed with pain so much that Triclops was convinced that he was the only living person in the universe anymore.

Or maybe he was just losing his mind.

* * *

'What do you call yourself?'

Triclops had grown used to, if not accepting, of this second presence inside his head. Right up to the point that he would spend much of his time in a sedation-induced dream inside his own dreamscape, staring down at the warped reflection in the glassy floor.

His other self considered.

'I rather liked that name that Woman suggested...' He said, even as Triclops' asked who 'Woman' was- the other version of himself didn't seem anywhere near inclined to answer him or be in the least bit charitable, 'When the girl found out she was carrying something in the sack...' Ah, Kendalina's brief pregnancy had incited something with their split personalities, then, 'She got all wound up, wondering what names you two should pick out and suggested one for me... that old word for 'man'... Viro, wasn't it?' His other face suggested.

Triclops was silent.

'...So, I'm 'Boy', aren't I?' He asked, having a bad feeling about this. On the other hand, a great deal was beginning to make sense.

'Of course...'

It was an odd fact of nature, but as Triclops became more and more accustomed to the presence of this other personality, he also became more able to control some aspects of his dreamscapes- whereas before, Triclops was mostly floating in a void and hearing a snide, arrogant, sometimes morbidly humorous version of his own voice speaking from all directions.

Now, Triclops could at least materialize a floor beneath him. This was incredibly preferable to just floating in a sea of nothingness. Equally preferred was that his other self's- though he supposed if they were going to have different names, he should start thinking in terms of Wiro or Viro or however it was spelled, anyway- voice was coming from a direction instead of all around him.

It just happened to be that the side Viro's voice came from was always BEHIND him, where he couldn't see.

'Now, about this other eye of mine...' Triclops finally said, calmly expecting a debate, 'You said you know what it can do.'

He heard Viro smirk- actually, it was a laugh, but it was the kind of laugh that Triclops knew what kind of facial expression would match it- before he heard that voice behind him answer.

'I said I knew. I never said I would tell YOU.' This was true, but living with Kendalina had taught Triclops nothing, if not how to patiently wheedle things out of people.

'Then who WERE you planning to tell?' Triclops asked as the snickering stopped.

'Who said I was gonna tell ANYONE?' Challenged Viro. Triclops didn't rise to the baiting tone.

'You did- you just said you would not tell me, but you implied that you WOULD tell someone else. Besides, keeping secrets like that bottles up inside your head will make it explode, so you would be FORCED to tell someone, sooner or later.' Triclops replied, calmly. He could imagine the look on his other personality's face, even if he couldn't visualize an actual face to go with the personality called Viro.

'...You... I've been a bad influence on you...' He finally heard Viro. Triclops did his best not to be amused.

'Oh?'

'You used to be a meek, submissive, little runt. Now you're speaking up, taking control, and still growing after 175 centimeters. I'm obviously doing something wrong.' Triclops could almost feel a figurative hand over his figurative head.

That was another thing that made Triclops wonder if he was losing his mind- when did he start having body parts in his subconsciousness, where he was just pure thought?

'That may be Kendalina's influence more than your own. But you still have to answer me.' There was a huff, before he heard something from Viro.

'Well, fine- for one thing, this weirdass eye of yours can see through things, kind of like an x-ray can. That's why you kept seeing stuff happening outside your cell. Then, it can look through space and time- in other words, you can see the past, present, or future of places far away and stuff. Finally, it BENDS space and time with minor telekinesis. That one time YOU used it, it went spinning out of control so that's why the whole room got turned upside-down. Controlled properly, some pretty cool shit can be done with it.'

Triclops pondered this and wondered if Kendalina had been an influence on his other personality as much as himself and he couldn't help but wonder, again, where this Viro came from, in the first place.

'You mean it can cause some pretty cool shit, I would assume?' He asked, in that manner which he was fairly confident only he could pull off, swearing and yet sounding so polite at the same time.

'Something like that, yeah.'

Triclops paused, then tried a new question.

'And the reason you would know this better than myself would be... because...?'

But all that Triclops heard was silence, before he awoke and saw that he was in his cell again. And he was alone.

* * *

Triclops had lost track of time- it was measured in days and nights, periods of sleep and periods of wake, moments of blissful unconscious and moments of torturous awareness. He'd even lost track of how many nights had fallen. Triclops knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the number was large, probably in the hundreds, but if you had told him it had been just one-hundred and three days, he would have believed just as easily if you had told him it had been eight-hundred and seventy-two.

Instead of time, Triclops measured his weeks and months in terms of what changed around him. His feet were longer and wider than the stones inside his solitary cell, when they used to be small enough to be pressed against one of the flatter stones and fit within the box set. His hands were big enough now that he could put one over his face and touch his ears without crushing his nose or poking himself in the eye.

Triclops was even aware, now, of how far Viro had come with his regime of keeping in shape and getting stronger by fighting back against the guards. By this point, Triclops was aware that his body was now immune to lethal dosages of most poisons and, if the situation should ever call for it, he could lift a solid metal door clear over his head and use it as a swatter to swipe down guards, one at a time.

Since there was precious little else to do except be experimented on and tortured, Triclops spent most of his time withdrawn into what could have been called a semi-coma, just barely aware of when it came time to eat, drink, expel, and walk. During that time, or his time in the cell, he was incredibly bored. Because of this, he'd used a loose piece of stone to carefully chip, scrape, and file away at the stones in the cell. After a great deal of time, they were smooth enough that, should a guard threw him in again like they did after beatings, Triclops would not be impaled on a sharp point, or even a blunt protrusion.

There were exactly six-hundred, eighty-seven, and three-fourths stones in the walls, ceiling, and floor of the cell. Triclops knew. He had been VERY bored.

'Is it true then?' Triclops asked. Viro cast him a bemused look, 'That I am the offspring of the Chancellor?'

It had been a tedious, taxing, and rather odd process, but Triclops could now visualize a place in his dreamscape. The process had been taxing, Triclops would say, because it involved a great deal of mental acrobatics that, now that he knew how to do them, were quite easy to do. Still, he had a face to put with the otherwise disembodied voice that had been haunting him on and off since he was eleven years old.

Viro stared at him, and for a moment, Triclops wondered if his other self didn't understand the word, until he spoke.

'It's... true..."

Triclops had been expecting that answer- but mostly because he had been hoping, desperately, that the answer would be 'no' and he could be relieved that he was wrong in that way...

'Oh...'

'I didn't think you would remember- that was why you made me in the first place.'

Triclops didn't reply, until he finally looked at Viro and asked.

'What do you mean by 'made'?' Triclops finally asked, and Viro raised an elegant eyebrow, 'You keep saying things like this... what do you mean?'

Viro pushed himself up and rose through the glass floor so he was laying next to Triclops, head propped up on one arm.

'...Well... I suppose... it starts with when you were around three...' Viro mused. Triclops blinked and cocked his head. '...Since you were put into isolation like this so long ago... and since, at an early age, you were tortured and experimented on... to escape that hellish experience, you created a character who was strong, brave, and able to endure those treatments.'

Triclops blinked, then looked away.

'So... that character became you, as I convinced myself that there was another person like that... but, why are you...' Triclops glanced up at the reflection of his own face and searched for a word. The features were something which he didn't know how to label... they were strong, sharp, but somewhat hollower and...

...more... distinguished?

'...Older?' Triclops finally managed.

Viro smiled. Now that Triclops thought about it, there was a very distinct shape that Viro occupied- he was taller, leaner, but also more compact. Unlike Triclops' clumsy, adolescent height and stringy figure, Viro was powerful and commanding, with the same big hands and feet, but matching arms and legs of muscle that merely made him look like a very large man, as opposed to a gangly teenager. His chin came to a sharper point, his eyes were narrower and a deeper, darker green, and his face had furrows and wrinkles, yet remained smooth and young at the same time.

Perhaps, Triclops wondered, this is what his body and face would look like if he ever managed to live to be a real adult- his twenties or possibly even thirties. He was even dressed like it- all black, but the sleeves on his shirt missing to reveal his arms, shoulders, and back. It was enough to make Triclops stare long enough to ponder the limits of the word 'Narcissism'.

'You also envisioned this character to be a kind of protector- a person who could watch over you with wisdom and a kind of fatherly attitude. Which explains why you detested me so when I started emerging in these more recent years and renewed your awareness of me.'

Triclops merely blinked, but said nothing, even as he was quite sure Viro knew how unamused Triclops was.

'Ah, rebellious teenage years...'

'That is not funny.' Triclops warned.

'Sure it is- I'm getting quite a kick out of how annoyed you're getting. And I'll bet Woman and that girl and her teacher would laugh to see you actually get peeved over something for a change.'

'Oh, so it is alright for people to laugh AT me, is what you are saying.' Triclops muttered, feeling more than just a little resentful. Though he couldn't deny the truth in Viro's words- he had been changing from the time when he had been complacent and accepting of everything that other people decided for him. This new him would have at least been insulted and indignant towards the Jedi who Kendalina had challenged to a fight for calling him a whore.

Triclops stopped that line of thought right there- just thinking about the Jedi, even the Knights and their padawans that had always seen him as a murderer, was so unbearably painful.

'Pretty much, yeah.'

Triclops didn't glare, but he did send Viro a questioning glance- he was less and less like a fatherly figure and more and more like an irritating older brother as every second went by. But it was better than nothing.

* * *

On the outside of Triclops' mind, the tampering on his body had taken a severe change.

Technicians, medics, and scientists, frustrated with a lack of results from the apparent coma #63696 had fallen into, began to write instructions for the stormtroopers to follow, as they were now being forbidden to go near the prisoner. Coma or no, the superiors deemed him too dangerous for a valuable asset like a scientist or a medic to be near, especially when they had so few to spare.

They prodded his body with various drugs, new electro therapy techniques, and experiments. They couldn't risk surgery, as their orders were to keep him alive and coherent.

However, it was an extremely odd order that they'd been given, to find a method that would enable him to remember his dreams if he awoke and, if they could not force him to consciousness, to stimulate sleep-talking.

Nobody knew why, nor did they question- officers who argued were traitors, and if their lives were not forfeit, their families' would be.

* * *

More time had passed. Triclops was growing bored again.

The number of stones in his cell was still at six-hundred, eighty-seven, and three-fourths. They were as smooth as they were going to get, after all of Triclops' hammering on them with his loose chip of rock- smoother than the insides of a boiled egg, even though Viro had suggested the metaphor 'smoother than freshly shaved women's legs', which Triclops had rejected because he had no idea whether or not women's legs WERE smooth when freshly shaved. Kendalina had never done it.

He'd managed to find a way to repair all the rips in his shirt- wearing the same tattered prisoner's shirt every day for God-knew-how-long-now had grown to be the source of great irritation, before Triclops started picking at the frays one day and finally started to tie the pieces of thread back together, sealing up the fraying ends of the rips, then sealing back up the holes.

It had been delicate work, but it had occupied an amount of time that Triclops was willing to bet was equivalent to a month, if not two.Now, he was finished and there was nothing left to do.

So, considering he was being tortured already, he had decided that he would be much better off being informed about his origins and his past- after all, the medics could, theoretically, resort to interrogation and psychological manipulation one day. After all, they had kept him alive THIS long and they must have had a purpose, which only made Triclops think that it was because he knew something they wanted.

Viro had indeed agreed that it was a reasonable option and, additionally, he had no doubts that they would try using Triclops' lack of knowledge of his past to feed him some story about how he'd murdered someone in cold blood and he deserved to be imprisoned or something along those lines.

'But you're REALLY sure you want to know what happened to you that made you create a second personality like me?' He asked, uncertainly. Triclops continued to stare at Viro, not blinking once.

'Yes. I am sure.' Triclops replied. He knew that Viro was just looking out for him, but couldn't bring himself to care enough to cooperate. He wanted the truth, and he didn't really care enough about himself to worry over the repercussions. Viro was watching him closely and carefully, before he sighed, though fondly.

'It's not a pleasant story- if you want to hear it, you've got to sit through the whole thing, even if there comes a point that you don't want to listen anymore.' Viro's voice was stern, which Triclops had never thought he'd hear from anything like his own voice. After a long moment of silence, Triclops took a deep breath and nodded.

'I understand. But I still must know.' Triclops repeated. Viro frowned, a little, but relented.

'Very well... I suppose the best way to start... is with the old man. You called him Chancellor, but for as long as I've existed, I knew him as Darth Sidious.' Triclops frowned, slightly, but didn't ask any questions, 'That's who he was when you were conceived. And, I guess, the reason I was aware of this even when you weren't was because you subconsciously knew it... probably because of that whole Force thing.'

Triclops took a moment to ponder this, feeling shivers go up his spine, but continued to listen as Viro continued.

'Chances are, however, that he never met your mother face to face... the conception was... unusual, to say the least...' This sparked something in Triclops' mind.

'That is what he said- he said the experiment went wrong from the start...' Before that OTHER man had...

'Yes, it HAD been an experiment... I'm not sure what the hell the old man is up to, but he's trying to do SOMETHING which has to do with human life, somehow or another. And, if you want my opinion...'

'Which I do not.'

'...The woman who won the Get-Fucked-Over lottery to be your mother... what was that woman's name... Nio-something or other... wasn't too pleased with it, either...' Triclops rolled his eyes- he probably should have known that right from the get-go, instead of having to be told, but that didn't make the fact that someone was telling him how his mother hadn't wanted him any less painful, '...And I'm pretty sure she died giving birth, so you can bet that there's some spirit wandering around out there, looking for the old man's head on a pike. And maybe yours, if she was a bitch.'

'Were you going to finish telling me about my past, or continue with this editorial?' Triclops asked, but Viro continued to talk- though, to give him credit, he stopped rambling about how lousy of a mother Triclops' birth mother must have been.

'Of course, when you were BORN there was the eye- nobody really liked that thing, or how whenever you opening it, weird shit always seemed to happen that they couldn't control. Then, there was the fact that you were born underweight, so the old man decided you were a failure right from the start. Problem was, since he needed to know how the experiment would turn out as you aged- maybe the eye thing would go away as you got older or some shit like that- he couldn't just kill you, so he left you to the slave traders...'

Triclops knew where this was going.

'Who sold me into prostitution.' Even though he didn't remember the exact details, Triclops knew well enough what happened there, 'I am not completely unaware of the events that took place THERE. I DID do some research on the slave market when I was in the Temple.'

'Yeah, and d'you know WHY you remembered that little detail of your past? Why you remembered being sold?' Triclops paused, considered, and finally concluded that he did not want to answer that question. Viro kept talking, anyway, 'I wanted you to be prepared, for one thing, but for another, I wanted to be able to take over in case of an emergency. As long as you had completely forgotten and suppressed everything, I couldn't do anything.'

Triclops wanted to come up with a witty remark to at least make Viro stop sounding so damn smug, but once he thought about it, it made a great deal of sense- the first time that he could ever recall having a blackout was after Master Yaddle's death and Kendalina had a semi-breakdown... and that had been the day after his first dream about the slave traders. While Triclops hadn't really remembered it, there had still been the vague feeling left when he'd awoken... That must have acted as the trigger.

'In any case, you were about four when you started out with me- I think it was the first really brutal...' Triclops shot him a glare to make Viro skip over the actual word, which the split personality seemed to understand well enough, '...This big, ugly brute, really fond of restraining and violence... He had his merry way, walked off whistling, and you... well... kind of lost it. Went a bit catatonic and when you wouldn't even respond, They gave you a beating... So, you started to wonder if you would ever be able to stand up to Them and how and wishing that someone would stop Them instead of letting Them do as They pleased. I started off as an imaginary friend who protected you when you had nightmares of them coming back to beat you again, and then eventually became a real, second person inside your head.'

Triclops said nothing, but couldn't help but marvel that even as a child he'd wanted to do something and had known it had been wrong.

'Amazing...' Triclops finally muttered, and when Viro asked what was so amazing, Triclops explained, '...The power of suggestion... almost like self hypnotism... just imagining that I could defend myself and survive... and lo and behold, there is a second personality inside my head that does just that.'

Viro was quiet for a moment, before he shrugged.

'I guess...'

Triclops said nothing for a long time, but eventually, Viro continued.

'I didn't come out that much when you were still really little- even if I was vicious, those guys were at least three times bigger than us, so I had to pick my battles. But I think the biggest one came when you were auctioned off and the sleazy old Baron guy bought you- good GOD, he was just DISGUSTING... I mean, for one thing, he was OLD, for another thing, he was just... sick... Seriously, he HAD to have a few diseases, I'm amazed you didn't get any of them... He had just paid for you and already wanted to play, even in that room with all those other people watching...'

Triclops knew where this would lead to, eventually.

'You decided to correct his misconception, I would assume?' He mused, even as his other personality snickered.

'You... could say that... I fought back... gave pretty much everyone there a few bruises they aren't likely to forget. I even bit the old fart on the leg- took a big chunk out of it, too. You should remember that- as soon as they'd gotten me off him and shot me up with some tranquilizer, they slapped on a muzzle. Then, you woke up and were confused as hell, wondering what this thing over your jaw was. It was... pretty weird...'

'That reminds me- I was mostly a prisoner while I was that man's...' Pet seemed like the word he wanted to use, but Triclops utterly refused to say it, so he just skipped the word altogether, '...How did I get out? I will not believe that he willingly let me escape, unless you really were hellish to...' Keep? Restrain? Play with? Fuck? Triclops couldn't think of a good word for it, or at least not a good word that he would be willing to say.

Viro understood.

'That was my doing, again- the old man got sloppy and left a door open to the loading docks. I hid myself in the back end of the storage compartment and when it got to a different loading dock, where all the cargo freeloaders stopped to refuel and rest, I snuck out again and changed ships... Did this a few times, too, so it would be hard to trace where I came from, or where I'd gone, but eventually, I ended up on the ship that went to the Jedi Temple, instead of to another loading dock.'

'And the rest is history.' Triclops mumbled, understanding. Viro said nothing more, and Triclops was extremely grateful for the silence that allowed him to brood a little more thoroughly.

* * *

In the laboratory, the scientists had returned their work. #63696's lack of even awakening had made the superiors decide that he was no longer a threat, but the medics were still increasingly nervous.

Many of them were beginning to worry- with their lack of progress, superiors might become impatient and remove them from their posts in a much more permanent way than firing. Unfortunately, however, nothing seemed to be working. They'd even tried pumping a raw stimulant into his bloodstream and there was still no effect.

It made the doctors curious- was there some other reason this prisoner was remaining in his comatose? They'd run through every scientific possibility, and had come to the conclusion that it most definitely was not anything that science had an explanation for thus far. Was there something else they were missing?

* * *

After another year, a new Kommandant was assigned to oversee their project- a slave master from the spice mines of the Kessandra settlement. None of the doctors recognized him, but they immediately felt his presence- foreboding, domineering, and powerful.

Everyone was very quiet when he spoke, and nobody disobeyed his orders.

A/N: Done. If you review, I have only one condition- you must have a hug prepared for Triclops. He'll need it.


	27. Part IV: Chapter 3

By Sapadu

Chapter 3: Hysterical

hys·ter·i·cal /hɪˈstɛrɪkəl/ Pronunciation Key - [hi-**ster**-i-k_uh_l

–adjective

1. of, pertaining to, or characterized by hysteria.

2. uncontrollably emotional.

3. irrational from fear, emotion, or an emotional shock.

4. causing hysteria.

5. suffering from or subject to hysteria.

6. causing unrestrained laughter; very funny

It took even longer for Triclops to accustom himself to the memories- Viro was still lingering in the back of his head, holding back some of the worst moments, which Triclops was profoundly grateful for. He was having enough difficulty with the TAME experiences, as it was.

Triclops wasn't bothered so much by what it had involved- prostitution was, after all, sex for money. He'd been prepared for that. He'd known that it would have been ugly, and disgusting, and humiliating. There had been plenty of accounts from other people who had been forced into the trade, and then somehow or another escaped from it.

No, what was so horrible and hard to cope with was that he, himself, had been an 'It'. There hadn't been malice in any of Their actions, or even in the actions of the men who had been his 'customers'. It had been the apathy in how They behaved. He had not been a 'sex worker' as someone would have said if they'd known- he had been a 'sex TOY', an object, something that either worked, or was broken, only seen in terms of cost, maintenance, and expiration date.

'I'm proud of you, y'know that?' Viro was just sitting there, watching as Triclops pieced together the bits of his life that he was still unsure how to deal with- Kendalina's influence had chosen to manifest itself once again in this situation, as Triclops' memories had taken the form of broken pieces of glass, spread out on the floor with Triclops trying to piece them together. Under different circumstances, he would have found this almost amusing. When Triclops just snorted in acknowledgment, Viro took it as a sign to keep going, or at least explain, 'That you're actually getting upset about it.'

Triclops paused for a moment from his sorting of the glass and cast Viro a puzzled look.

'When you first got to the Temple and met the girl, you mostly accepted everything about the whole Trader's thing... That one time you accidentally choked a guy, it was because you were just complying to the rules that They had set... and you were almost stricken when nobody else seemed to understand the rule that you couldn't make any noise, or else someone might find Them. Because you grew up with it, you mostly accepted that They were right and didn't care that you were labeled as a thing instead of a person.'

Triclops considered, before he finally came up with a retort that was about as witty as he could come in the given circumstances.

'Mostly?' Viro even seemed to find it funny, as he started to laugh- it was a loud, echoing, throaty noise, one that drew the air up from his toes and reverberated in his chest. The comfort was cold, but it was still a comfort that Triclops and his other self were capable of genuine laughter like that, as opposed to some of the other kinds of laughter he was hearing every time he touched a glass shard of memory.

'Mostly... probably because of the eye thing again, or maybe because of that Force stuff, but you knew just a little bit from somewhere else... maybe from a customer who, while they didn't have any morals to speak of, at least knew they'd get in legal trouble if anyone found out, or from someone who actually acknowledged that you were living... even if they didn't GIVE a shit...' Viro shrugged, then continued, 'Aah, well... in any case, you found out from somewhere, but since it made it harder to keep going through every day, you pushed it all off on me.'

Triclops paused and recalled his conversation with Kendalina, especially how mad she'd been with Triclops' blatant acceptance of his bad fortune, how he should have been angry or at least upset that he'd been used like that.

'That... sounds like what Kendalina said...' Triclops agreed, slowly, returning to his puzzle work with the memories. He still wasn't sure why he was doing it- even if he got his memories all pieced together, he still didn't know what he was going to do with them.

'In any case, I'm proud that you learned to actually appreciate that you're a living creature instead of just a drone, enough to be upset about being treated like an object.' Viro finally concluded, before adding, in a tone that was almost bitter if Triclops listened closely enough for it, 'Shitload of GOOD it does for ya now that...' He let the sentence hang, but Triclops understood.

'I AM considered to be alive here- that is a sight better than in the prostitution house.' Triclops replied, firmly, even as Viro snorted, derisively.

'You're alive, alright- you're alive in their eyes because they need to FIX that problem. You're alive in the sense that a rat or a cockroach or a toad is alive- only alive enough to be killed.' Viro snapped, even as Triclops wondered why he was so worked up about it, before his words brought everything into focus, 'And that's what they MEAN to do.'

'...Oh...' He finally said.

'Yeah, oh.'

* * *

Weeks later, Triclops had finished piecing his memories together and found himself, once again, very very bored. Now that his entire past was pieced together with large gaps in it that he didn't want filled in ANY way, he had absolutely nothing to do.

'Why ARE they keeping me alive, anyway?' Triclops finally asked Viro, one day, as Viro fiddled with the few memories he'd held back- to be specific, he was playing with them like a ball, tossing and catching, then rolling them around on the floor as best he could given their shapes. As Triclops asked his question, Viro paused, but whether he was taken aback by Triclops' question or because it should have been so obvious, Triclops couldn't tell.

'...I really couldn't tell you...' Viro finally said, but he remained motionless, pondering the matter, 'Why do you ask?'

'You said it yourself- the people here are being brought here specifically to be killed. Yet, they are keeping me alive and it is not on accident, either. Even during the times you fought back against them, they did not attempt to shoot you. They could only be keeping me alive for a very specific reason.' Triclops said, slowly explaining his own reasoning to himself as much as to his other personality, just to be sure it wasn't paranoia talking.

His suspicion was confirmed at Viro's next words.

'Now that you mention it... you're right, they HAVEN'T been really trying to get rid of you... If anything else, they're trying to keep you alive, but make it LOOK like they're trying to kill you...' Viro paused and examined this thought, 'It might just be that nobody wants to get their hands dirty, just in case the Old Man changes his mind later and decides he wants you alive... but then why bother with the experiments? Why not just leave you in solitary confinement?'

'Maybe it has something to do with the kind of experiments they are performing...' Triclops suggested, which seemed to arouse something in Viro's half of their mind. With a grim expression, he got to his feet.

'You stay here, Boy- I'm going to surface for a bit and listen to what they're doing.' He said in a businesslike manner that was not dissimilar to a scout reporting his plan of action to a superior officer. All that was missing was the salute.

'Is that not a risky move? Suppose they realize you have resurfaced and decide you are too great a threat.' Triclops asked, though without panic in his voice. For some reason, Viro felt... distant... separated from Triclops, almost as though a completely different person with a different body altogether.

'I can control my appearance into the body- even if they have us hooked up to a brain mapper, all they'll see is a blurb of neurons firing, and then it'll just look like a regular old coma, once again. I'll just listen for a few minutes, figure out what kinds of tests they're pulling, then we can put our heads together when I get back.'

Triclops let out a long suffering sigh, then looked back down at his memory shards and tried to think about how he could arrange them to form the shape of a kitten.

'I believe Kendalina's influence has made you more reckless than I used to be. Just do not hurt yourself. Or anyone else, while I am at it.' He said, scattering the metaphorical pieces of glass again. Viro paused and stared for a moment, before snickering.

'Y'know, you CAN use contractions, Boy.' He said, causing Triclops' head to jerk up, 'Just every now and then- it'll throw people off balance.'

Triclops had somehow or another managed to put all the pieces into a shape resembling a pointed cat ear, but was far too large for Triclops to make a whole cat with it, when Viro crept back into their dreamscape. The first clue he had that his other self had not found the information he had wanted was when Viro stomped on one of the pieces of glass that represented Triclops' memories. The second clue was when Viro kicked the pieces he'd just crushed.

'So... how did it go?' Triclops finally asked, infuriatingly calm as ever as he gathered the smaller pieces together and tried to use them to make a smaller ear, completely not caring of his split personality's evident bad mood. Viro snarled and stomped on a few more pieces.

'Rotten.' He snapped, 'The stupid techs weren't even talking to each other- Not even a 'hand me that syringe' or 'roll up his sleeve' kind of shit.' Triclops didn't look up from his arranging of the glass.

'Could you please stop swearing like that- it is very uncomfortable for someone who has to live with you.' Triclops asked as politely as he could manage. Viro flopped down seemingly ignoring him, before he snarled back,

'Then stop talking like that- you enunciate every damn syllable, never use contractions, pronounce every Esk with that 'ee' sound even if it's supposed to be silent and every Aurek as an 'ah'... It drives me fucking crazy!' Triclops still didn't look up- he had actually managed to make a head of a cat with plenty of glass left over he could make another if he so desired.

'That is how the aurebesh is meant to be pronounced. If there is more than one way to pronounce a letter, then there should be a new letter for it. It is confusing, otherwise.' Triclops replied, firmly. Viro made a nasty noise.

'So you expect someone to make a new alphabet just so that everything is spelled the way it's pronounced?' Viro demanded, as though determined to pick a fight with something. Triclops sighed.

'It would be less confusing.' Was all he said. Viro snorted, derisively.

'And who would make up this new set of aurebesh letters? You?'

'When did this become an argument about my use of language? Did you not just come back from trying to understand the guards' motives in keeping this body alive?' Triclops asked, still calm even as his other personality got even angrier.

'I TOLD you- they weren't saying shit! For all I know, they're just keeping us alive because they're thinking of selling us again.' Triclops would have flinched under different circumstances, but he had a fairly good idea that Viro was just trying to scare him because he was in a bad mood.

'Then why are you attacking my manner of speech, of all things?' He asked, remaining passive.

'BECAUSE IT'S BUGGING ME!' Viro shouted. Triclops didn't even twitch, though he was privately very amused.

'Back on topic, could you not try using the eye's abilities? Perhaps you could see the future and find out what they want to have as a result?' Triclops suggested, trying to remain the logical and collected one between the two of them. Viro just sighed.

'That's not gonna work- even though the eye DOES have that ability, we just aren't capable of it right now.' Triclops paused in is work on the cat's tail to give Viro a puzzled look, 'Part of the trade off for this eye number three being so powerful is that using it wears you out- that's part of the reason we're stuck in this stupid coma right now. Sure, part of it is because you're withdrawing, but our body is completely conked out because I've been using the eye so much- this is backlash all the way back from when you wanted me to take care of the younglings.'

Triclops' jaw actually dropped.

'...From... that long ago...?' He mumbled, not sure if it was a joke or not- Viro had been sarcastic, sometimes even morbid and callously so, but his expression was so deadly serious right now that Triclops wasn't sure what to believe.

'...Well, actually, this is backlash from using it so long ago, and then never making a full recovery- For starters, I've been using the eye a LOT, even back then, and you only got a little bit of sleep after that. Our body didn't recover like it needed to. So, now it's all making a comeback.'

'Oh...' Triclops finally said, still calm as ever. A long silence stretched, before Viro finally snapped- perhaps he was just bothered by the silence, or perhaps he was just irritated with Triclops' calm, infuriating smile, but he apparently wasn't going to let it continue.

'WELL? DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS?' He finally shouted. Triclops blinked, once, then twice, turned back to his glass picture of a cat.

'I was going to suggest that we simply wait until the body has recovered, then use the eye, but you do not seem very inclined to wait that long.' Triclops replied. Indeed, Viro only seemed to be further instigated by this response.

'BUT I WANT TO UNDERSTAND NOW!' Viro sounded painfully like a whining child, even as Triclops privately wondered how old they both were, in terms of years they had actually lived, now.

'And I want a kitten. We can not all have everything we want.' Triclops replied, serenely, continuing to fiddle with the glass, completing his picture of a kitten. Viro gave Triclops a dirty look, 'Is there anything else about the eye's abilities that I should know?' Triclops added. Viro sighed and pouted, but did respond.

'It can also look into other people's dreamscapes- if the person is powerful enough, the eye can even be used to transport your mind directly into theirs. It's pretty useless, and if you can't get back into your own mind, you're pretty much dead... but, on the other hand, you don't need to wait for a full recovery when you use this ability.' Viro said, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows.

Triclops said nothing, before he smiled.

'Would you like to see Woman? I would like to visit Kendalina, and it occurred to me to bring you along for the trip.' He offered. Viro blinked for a few moments, before he frowned.

'It'll be dangerous to just leave our body like that? If we don't get back, this body essentially ends up dead.' Viro warned, with an unspoken addition of 'Weren't you LISTENING?' somehow hovering in the space between them.

'We will have a housesitter- that third personality, the one who we never speak to or see, who always comes out when I am sleepy and crabby... He will take care of the body for us until we get back.' Triclops explained, still infuriatingly calm, as Viro stared at him in shock that he'd thought of that before Triclops finally added, 'It's one of the benefits of having Multiple Personality Disorder.'

'IT'S! YOU SAID IT'S!' Viro shouted, with an odd kind of triumph, as though it were a personal achievement of his own. Triclops resisted the urge to roll his eyes, even as Viro kept going, 'Alright, Boy, let's see you get us out of this place- just try and find Woman's dreamscape. I'll bet you can't do it!'

* * *

Triclops took the challenge.

Viro sat back on his metaphorical haunches and watched, with a terrible smirk, as Triclops walked through the sleeping minds of countless people that night- starting out with the fellow prisoners, then making larger leaps to the minds of resting soldiers on the orbiting patrol ships, or the dozing escapees that a spice runner was smuggling off the planet, working his way through the dreamscapes of the Outer Rim, working into the Inner Rim, until he'd gone all the way across the galaxy.

It was the only dreamscape that could have possibly been Kendalina's- except she must have been awake. Triclops understood that- she'd made herself into a fugitive by speaking out against the Old Republic and now the Galactic Empire and she was a former student of the Jedi to boot, so it only made sense that she had to be awake most of the time to stay on guard.

What amazed Triclops, however, was that there was another person inside her dreamscape.

She looked exactly like Kendalina... with some extreme changes in personality which made her practically unrecognizable. Unlike Kendalina, she had her hair in a kind of... style- it looked a little longer, just enough that ribbons and beads that would simply slide out of Kendalina's short cut were possible decorations. She stood in a cute posture, knees together, arms behind her back, leaning forward just a little, and her eyes were just a little bit bigger, just a little bit brighter, her lashes just a little bit longer and curvier.

She was also- much to Kendalina's ire, Triclops was sure- wearing a cute, pink dress, accented with the white necklace and bracelet, from which dangled the symbol of the Princess. Her shimmering, flesh-colored lips turned down in a pout as she saw Triclops, immediately re-lighting as Viro appeared behind him, snickering.

'Viro!' Woman squealed with delight, dodging Triclops and hopping into his arms, soft elbows hooking around his neck as he lifted her.

It was an overly feminine version of Kendalina that Triclops had never even considered existed- one that also disturbed him. He wanted, more than ever now, to see his old, dominating beloved- the one who would smack him, call him names, swear, strut, drink, and act like a man in general. After the older two finished their enthusiastic greeting, Woman turned a coy eye on him, smiling a smile that was far too soft, demure, and teasing- not at all like Kendalina, whose grins were always loud and exuberant, splitting across her face and transforming her appearance entirely.

'Love, who's this? Don't tell me that the little boy is all grown up...' She noted, resting her fair point of a chin on Viro's shoulder. Viro just laughed.

Triclops shivered at the sound.

'I'm sorry to have to tell you, but he is. Don't tell me that the girl ISN'T to the point you didn't expect it...' Viro replied, an arm creeping up Woman's back.

Woman heaved a dramatic sigh.

'Not at all... I mean, I know and encourage that she not become involved with men- and you would not believe how many have approached her on this endeavor- but she could at least play with them to gain aid or something of the sort. Seriously, there have been some men in big Imperial uniforms always trying to get her to come back with them to their places- that's a strategic point, right? If she played it right, she could find information on a base or weapons storage or factory or SOMEthing. I mean, Girl isn't stupid- she's done some really brilliant stuff with her head. Like, that apprentice of hers, Kao-something or other, Girl took them both to this planet way out in the boonies that doesn't HAVE the Force and the two of them are training in using other stuff to survive and do the same Jedi stuff, just in case they run into a Sith who the Force doesn't work against or some other kind of emergency... like, Girl called the stuff they were training with things like 'Elementals' and 'Chakra' and 'Chi'i' and other stuff... I can't remember it all right now, but it's really weird, and the really really weird part is that it's all actually working. But anyway, about the whole men issue, no, it's never a coy flirt and hopefully prying some sort of information out of him, or at least getting him to buy her a drink- it's always some vulgar way of telling him off, plain off the bat.' Woman fumed and ranted, looking both thoroughly put out and somehow impressed at the same time.

More than ever, Triclops was beginning to miss Kendalina. For one reason, Woman had a temper that was far too different from how Kendalina would have handled her displeasure in the situation- she would have bullied her other self into doing what she wanted instead of just complaining. Though, Triclops noted, privately, that was probably why Woman was ONLY complaining, given how Kendalina disliked being told what to do. But more than that, Woman was somehow much more devious and two-faced than Kendalina was and that upset him, greatly. However, Triclops was mostly upset he was hearing such a rant from that face, which looked entirely like Kenda's.

'Kendalina told them all to kiss her ass, did she not?' He asked, knowing too well the chaos that Kendalina's footfall tended to bring. Woman giggled- a girly sound that made Triclops shudder to hear from Kendalina's throat- and turned to face him.

'Exactly.' Before she was distracted, 'Oh... you sound different from Viro...' Triclops blinked, taken aback by this statement, before Woman went on, 'Your voice- it's too light... too high. Viro's voice is deeper, harder... maybe because he's supposed to be more of an adult than you, but his is more... grown-up, perhaps?'

Triclops felt a hand raise to his throat and considered the matter- he hadn't noticed it before, but thinking about it made the difference seem glaringly obvious. It was then that it occurred to him why Woman seemed so... off... compared to Kendalina- her voice was just a little higher pitched, barely noticeable until it had been called to his attention. Swallowing uncomfortably, Triclops didn't reply.

'Why did you not come to see me sooner, dearest? You two would have had to sleep at some point, and I was always here, waiting for you to come.' Woman continued, whining as she turned back to her mate, pawing at Viro's chest with impatience as he indulgently pushed her up to sit on his shoulder.

Viro smiled, with an incorrigible smirk as though to say 'Don't blame me' to temper Woman's impatience, before he set her down.

Woman was- Triclops could hardly believe this a feat possible to achieve- shorter and more petite that Kendalina, which made Viro look even more tall and giantesque than Triclops already considered himself.

Vaguely, Triclops wondered if this was telling of a developing complex for his insecurity with his outward appearance.

'Before, we had some more pressing matters to resolve- however, since the boy slipped into a coma, I thought this would be an opportune time to pay you a visit.'

Woman's face warped, then resumed it's usual charming smile, something which Triclops had a feeling was not something good for him.

'YOU LET VIRO'S BODY GO INTO A COMA? HOW DARE YOU!' She demanded, storming towards him with a fist raised, as though intent on beating him.

Triclops was grateful for Viro's presence when he wrapped two arms around his enraged lover, pulling her back and lifting one hand to touch her face and turn her back to face him.

'Given that it's either a coma or he leaves my body awake to be tortured, drugged, and operated on, this is the only solution.' Viro explained, gently smiling in a way that Triclops noticed looked incredibly like his own smile, 'Besides, if I can see Woman this way...' Viro accentuated his point by twirling a long strand of ribbon on her hair between his fingers, before bringing it to his lips in a gesture which made Woman's cheeks stain with pink and her eyelids lower. It was FAR too feminine- if Kendalina were here to see this, Triclops had no doubt that she would either throw a tantrum or throw UP. Probably the latter.

'Viro...' She breathed, softly.

Triclops fought the urge to be sick, himself.

He could not, however, fight the urge to be bitter- he had a distinct impression that Viro was deliberately being this cute with Woman because he was right there WITHOUT Kendalina to be cute with an overdose of saccharine with right back.

'I'll forgive you this one time.' Woman warned, turning back around, but keeping her hands on Viro's so he couldn't release her waist. Triclops rolled his eyes, muttering, 'Thank you for your generosity.'

'But torture... they do those things to you... and how long it's been...' Woman continued, perfectly arched eyebrows turning up in a worried expression, before she looked up at Triclops, 'But why? It's not like you know military secrets of the Alliance to Restore the Republic that Senator Organa and Mothma have started up, the way Girl does. There's no point in just senseless torture- they have to have a specific reason for everything they're doing.'

'That's mostly what we were thinking before we made this excursion.' Viro explained, wrapping his arms around Woman's shoulders and resting his chin on the crown of her hair, 'The thing is, they're keeping him alive, even though the prison we're in is a place MEANT to kill off the 'Undesirables'. I was thinking that, because our body is the product of the Old Man's experiments, nobody wants to be the one responsible for killing him off if the Old Man changes his mind and wants him to live.' Woman put her thumb in her mouth and started to gnaw on the pad with her teeth, considering the idea, before she shook her head.

'No... Girl and I have seen how Sidious deals with people- there are a lot of people who Girl and her apprentice managed to defect to the other side, because the only reason they were obeying the Imperials was because they were holding their families hostage or something like that. Just rescue the families- problem solved. But, in any case, it's an effective way to control their subordinates and agents. Nobody puts off their missions and they do them exactly as they are told to do.' Woman mused, looking distinctly put out, though Triclops didn't understand why, 'And, in any case, with a group setting of all those different scientists and doctors, and several different shifts, it would be impossible to tell who put the needle in that delivered the fatal poison or what have you. The same idea as the firing squad theory- nobody knows whose bullet it was that killed the prisoner. No, they ARE trying to keep you alive... and there's a reason for it, too...'

There was a pause, during which Triclops couldn't help but feel a little bit of admiration for Woman, as well as feel incredibly stupid that he couldn't have been as sharp as her to even come close to the same conclusion. After a moment, she smiled.

'I know- I'll talk to Girl about it. If nothing else, she'll be over, double-time, to get you two out of there.'

Triclops blinked, thought about it, and had to agree, ultimately, that Kendalina certainly would NOT let such an offense as his imprisonment go unchecked.

'Now that we have THAT assurance, Boy, why don't you go back to your own dreamscape or maybe go poke around someone else's?' Viro asked. Triclops shot him a glare.

'Where are YOU going?' He demanded, in a very childish manner, indeed. Viro just smirked and pulled Woman closer, causing her to blush even more.

'Oh...' Understanding, Triclops quickly left.

It was nice to know, at least, that SOME things were similar between Kendalina and Woman and Viro and himself. Even if it was two overactive libidos.

* * *

'So, how HAS Girl been doing?' Viro asked as soon as Boy disappeared from the dreamscape- he had lied about how dangerous and difficult it would be to get back to their body. Viro knew better than anyone how to utilize the dreamwalking ability, it was Boy who would have difficulty getting back. Oh well, if he got lost in someone else's dream, Viro would just swoop by and pick him up on his way back to their body.

Woman sighed and invited herself to sit down on one of Viro's knees.

'Honestly? Not that great.' Woman confessed, putting her head on Viro's shoulder as she sighed, 'There's no official war going on, yet- the Empire doesn't really know about the big underground movement as it is. As far as they know, it's just a bunch of radicals protesting, so a lot of them get shot when they hold demonstrations or protest the Empire... But what Girl is doing... if anyone caught her, not only would she be shot, they'd find out that she's in cahoots with Old Man Organa and that he's up to something.'

Viro understood that easily enough.

'So, in other words, she's in hiding, because she doesn't have any other choice...' He surmised. Woman sighed, nodded, then changed her mind.

'Well, it's not just that...' She said, slowly. Viro rolled his eyes.

'Oh, THIS should be good...' He muttered, sarcastically. Woman gave him a warning glance but didn't reprimand him quite yet.

'...They're not just in hiding, but they're also on the run- because there just aren't places for anyone to hide anymore. The planet they're on now- some place called Myrkr- is just an outright taboo for a Jedi to go, because the creatures that live there can detect Force-users and kill them... even if they're not actually USING the Force at that time, anyone with the potential is outright prey on that planet.' Woman explained, casually folding herself into a more comfortable position as Viro shrugged and put a hand on her waist to steady her.

'Girl's a tough egg to crack- I don't think a few rabid dogs and hungry lizards are going to bother her.' Viro said, not bothered in the least, even as Woman made an aggravated noise.

'It's not Girl that I'm worried about- it's that bothersome apprentice of hers.' Viro paused in nuzzling Woman's neck as she continued to fuss, 'Girl always was one of the more liberal Jedi in the Order- I mean, you know that she never really believed in the Force, or at least she never believed we could ever truly know it and become one with it. As such, she does some pretty radical stuff. But this apprentice...'

'Kao-Lin.' Viro put in. Woman paused.

'What?'

'That's her apprentice's name- Kao-Lin. You said that you'd forgotten.' Viro repeated. Woman stared at him for a moment, before shrugging.

'Whatever, but Kao-Lin is a really conservative kind of Jedi, always insisting they do things by the rule of the Code and now that they submit to the new law, because the Jedi protect civilization to ensure peace.' Woman continued, even as Viro made a disgusted noise.

'What? That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever...'

'Oh, but wait- there's more!' Woman talked right over him in a mock-enthusiastic voice, as Viro leaned back and propped up onto his elbows, 'While they were still hiding out on civilized planets, Troops kept raiding the villages they were in, having gotten tip-offs that escapees from the Jedi Order were hiding out in the places. It went on for months, and Girl had to keep moving them to different villages- sometimes different planets altogether. After three months, they almost got CAUGHT- by the big Skywalker man himself, no less.'

Viro's hands tightened in their grip on Woman's waist, actually taken by surprise.

'Almost? What do you mean, almost?' He demanded, though only out of concern. Woman laughed, a combined sound of nervousness and relief as she relived the experience.

'Well... more like they were sort of caught... They were found, that much was sure. Suddenly, the big guy shows up out of nowhere... Girl did some pretty cool stuff with the abilities she knew... like some medical techniques that disabled his nervous signals to his limbs, so his reactions were slowed, at least, but he kept moving, so he had to have some sort of artificial limbs to keep running on auto like that, or at least some implants. Then, he started throwing things using his mind- Kao-Lin was hiding over in the corner, because that's where Girl had told her to go- and Girl got onto her hands and turned upside-down and did this spinning kick technique, where she spun around really quickly on her fingertips and kicked away everything and shattered it at the same time. Then, because it was getting really messy and troop reinforcements were coming in, she had to finish it quickly, so she did this technique that actually didn't seem like it would work, but did, anyway: first, she made a lot of copies of herself out of the building's material- which Skywalker had blasted apart, by the way, I hope the owner of that bar had owner's insurance- so they all were walking bodies that looked like her and moved and acted and could do all sorts of stuff, then she used this technique to make them all look like all these naked women and had them swarm him...'

'In other words, Girl sicked a clone harem onto Skywalker in an effort to make a getaway. I wasn't aware Dark Lords of the Sith were affected by nude women in the heat of battle- aren't they mostly above primal desires like that?' Viro asked, amused, but also disbelieving. Woman laughed- an actual, unrestrained laugh, too, which only made Viro pull his arms tighter around her waist as it shook.

'Well, you would have thought that about Master Windu, right?' She pointed out, 'And, really, I think this particular woman she turned all the doppelgangers into was someone specific, because Skywalker sort of... froze... then started sputtering as they all swarmed him, and of course the back up troops were completely useless because they were too busy staring...' Woman paused, then something seemed to occur to her, 'Oh, now I remember- Girl turned them into naked copies of the Senator from Naboo... Don't know what that has to do with anything, but it apparently does... And while all the men were thoroughly distracted, Girl grabbed Kao-Lin, disappeared, and then started to box her ears. Guess who the tip-offs were coming from?'

'Girl's apprentice.' Viro noted, completely prepared for this otherwise shocking news, 'And Girl had figured it out.' Woman shrugged, looking either disgusted or approving.

'Girl's sharper than I would have thought... I mean, she figured out something about the Senator from Naboo that I wasn't even AWARE had any connection to the Jedi Order... I wouldn't expect to keep any kind of secret from her in the near future. Either that, or Kao-Lin was being REALLY obvious and Girl was just waiting for something really big like this so she would be justified in giving her apprentice the whipping she deserved... I wouldn't put that past Girl...'

'So, how did she deal with it?' Viro asked, interestedly. He could use some ideas if he and the Boy ever got out of their damn coma.

'I'm not sure HOW, but Girl did some sort of medical technique that's way out of her apprentice's league... Something that stops her vocal chords from working, then used another medical technique that changed her apprentice's appearance altogether... Speaking of which, Girl has changed her own appearance a lot- she's had red hair, brown hair, blonde hair, black hair, dark skin, pale skin, medium skin, she's changed her height, weight... she's even gone male a few times, or sometimes changed herself to a different species, on some of the Outer Rim planets.'

Even Viro had to take a moment to recover from how impressed he was- it certainly wasn't conventional, but Girl was indeed better than anyone had thought. However, the idea was pushed aside as Woman continued to talk, starting to sound even more worried.

'There's still this problem, though- there are few enough Jedi in the Galaxy as it is... what if a lot of them start turning on each other because they don't know the full truth? Turn in comrades to the Imperials, believing they are traitors? Or sell out protesters against the Empire to the Sith? It's just...' Woman fumbled for words, but Viro pulled her down to put her head back on his shoulder.

'Chances are, Girl's thinking of those same things, but actually coming up with ways to combat the worst possibilities.' Viro noted, before Woman's fist hit him in the center of his chest. Raising his eyebrows, Viro glanced down at the other split personality, but said nothing as he noted her continued shaking.

'I'm so... so SICK of this... of always being tired and scared and running. I'm sick of never knowing if I can trust anyone or stay in one place for so long, I'm sick of never knowing if anywhere will be safe enough to stay without being raided or any family or friends I have there being killed... Even if we can get you and the Boy out of that prison, will he and Girl ever get to settle down and have a family if they wanted? Would WE be able to stay together? Or would we always have to keep running, running, running until there's nowhere left to go?' Woman was already seriously crying, clearly getting even more upset as she kept going. Viro kept silent, letting her vent, until he had to grip her firmly by the wrists- his ribs were beginning to hurt with all her beating on them.

'Asking if WE'LL always be together is no sure thing- we're not even real people, just the figments of the Girl and Boy who contain all the memories or traits they don't want to have. Maybe, as they grow up, they'll eventually incorporate us back into their own personalities, and then the other halves known as Woman and Viro will disappear. But... I'm pretty sure that, even if we aren't allowed our happy ending... they'll figure something out- the Girl and the Boy... they're both stronger than we think, together... The Girl has the drive, the Boy has the patience, the Girl has the muscle and strategy, the Boy has the pacing and poker face, the Girl has the fire and wind, the Boy has the earth and lightening.'

Woman calmed, albeit after a long, long silence, before Viro finally asked,

'I've been meaning to find out- how long has it been? The Boy and I have all but lost track of time since we got here.' He finally said. Woman peered up and blinked at him, owlishly, before she frowned.

'You really have no idea how long it's been since you got into the prison?' She asked, incredulously, even as Viro shook his head, almost ashamed of himself, 'Well... the Girl and I left with her apprentice a year before the attack on the Temple...' Woman paused then finally said, '...That would make it five years since you two were brought to this prison you're in now. Six years since the Girl and I left.'

Viro sat up so quickly and violently that Woman almost flew across the dreamscape, except for her arms around his neck.

'Five... years...' He muttered, 'But... that would mean... that would make the Boy twenty-one standard years old and the Girl nineteen.'

* * *

Triclops had nightmares, that night. They weren't his usual memories, but they weren't predictions, either. They were just plain old nightmares. Snakes, falling, getting lost, being chased. One that truly scared him was a dream that he was only a child again and was running away from a faceless man in a long black dress down a long hallway with a window at the end of it and doors on every side, but none anywhere near close enough for him to go into. The man wasn't even really chasing him, but just stumbling along in the same direction, but drunkenly calling out things like 'Don't run away there little boy tryin' to move really fa-as-ss-t...'

Right ahead of him were two women, one looking like Master Retaw, the other looking like a tall, adult version of Kendalina. He ran and ran and ran, but his feet seemed so heavy, as though they just couldn't move. His legs were so stiff he could barely bend them, and the man behind him didn't seem to be fast either, but Triclops just couldn't be faster than the man, no matter how hard he tried. Even as he tried to catch up with Kendalina and Master Retaw, every step he took only made them go farther and farther away and he just couldn't run fast enough.

Eventually, a door came up and for some reason, Triclops knew he had the keys for it. He went down a set of stairs, fumbling for the keys in his pocket, but his arms seemed heavy and his hands clumsy, because he just couldn't get a good grip on them. He heard the man on the steps find footing on the first stair and mutter in a voice that was so loud, Triclops almost thought the man was right at his shoulder, 'Who puts stairs there, Jumpin' Jones...' Triclops finally got his key into the lock and the door opened, his feet finally seemed to work properly, because he got in, slammed the door, and locked it, before he looked down into the hand that had held the keys and realized they weren't there.

And then Triclops woke up and felt a powerful arm holding him down so he didn't flail in panic, before someone said,

"That's how you say hello after five years? God, I'm insulted."

A/N: I? Have class at 8:00 tomorrow, and then, work (I actually got a job! Yays!) So, I'm going to end this chapter, right here. I'm doing my best to not make any of the romance too sappy and overdone, and the nightmare Triclops had right there at the end was actually taken from one of mine (Hence the english phrase 'Jumpin' Jones')

Um... thingie... feedback?


	28. Part IV: Chapter 4

By Sapadu

Chapter 4: Confidence

con·fi·dence /ˈkɒnfɪdəns/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[**kon**-fi-d_uh_ns Pronunciation Key - noun

1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing 2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance 3. certitude; assurance 4. a confidential communication 5. (esp. in European politics) the wish to retain an incumbent government in office, as shown by a vote in a particular issue 6. presumption; impudence 7. Archaic. something that gives confidence; ground of trust

Triclops came to his senses very slowly. Everything in the world around him was fuzzy, to the point that he almost felt like he was floating because his back was so numb with laying on the hard table surface. His ears were ringing for God-knows-whatever reason and his limbs all felt distanced from his body, as though they were not really attached to him except by the nerves. Even worse, they felt limp and weak, boneless and liquid-like, completely useless like his bones had been removed, if it weren't for the fact that they ached even worse than the rest of him. Slowly, very slowly, Triclops blinked, until his eyes finally focused enough for him to at least make out the color of the other person's hair.

Brown. A very dark, but very distinct brown.

"Hey, sleepin' beauty."

And there was no mistaking that voice or nickname.

"...Kenda..." Triclops finally croaked, trying to move. His arms and legs seemed to be refusing to cooperate- It was almost like in his nightmare, almost as though they were no longer flesh and bone, but metal and wire, connected to a magnetic tabletop that made them impossible to move. Then again, being strapped down with wires probably did that to a person.

"I know you're probably not thinking that 'Beauty' can be used to describe you, but play possum for a few more minutes." Triclops heard Kendalina laugh, but he closed his eyes again. Finally, the cloth on his chest parted, enough that he could tell she was examining him. Triclops heard the voice that had come to be Viro snicker, suggesting some rather lewd ideas that made him want to blush, except his blood wasn't circulating that actively yet.

"Lessee... blood pressure and pulse fine... Nothing wrong in the lungs or with the heart..." Triclops heard Kendalina mutter, but he had the feeling that she wasn't speaking for his benefit, before he felt her fingers prodding around his larynx, "No glands swollen... nothing clogging the throat or windpipe..." Her hands going over his face, "No damage to sinuses... hearing canals clear and all hearing organs in key shape..." Triclops felt her fingers pry open his eyelids and a light shone into them but he kept himself from flinching, "Reflexes fine... no damage to pupils or retinas..."

"We know his physical condition is perfect- what we want you to tell us is why he isn't waking up!" There was a new voice in the room that explained Kendalina's request that he pretend to not be awake.

"I can't tell you that unless I know what you've been DOING- For all I know, someone could have dumped him on his head that left a concussion that did this." Kendalina's voice insisted, "Now, maybe if I can see some actual medical records here..."

'Any clue what's going on?' Viro asked, as Triclops waved him away.

'From what I can tell, Kendalina is attempting to force them to show her what they have been doing to this body for this time. Why they would trust her with this, though...' Before a thought occurred to him, 'Maybe she has clouded the mind of the supervisor she is arguing with right now.'

Viro considered this, then snickered.

'That would do it... probably got him convinced that he needs her to diagnose this coma we're supposedly still in.' Viro paused, 'But then, she'd have to do that to all the meds and techs in this damn place... or else someone would catch on.'

Inside, Triclops felt incredible pride in Kendalina's mind clouding ability. He had no doubt whatsoever that she had done just that- perhaps she was forcing everyone in the center to a point of confusion so that none of them were even competent at their supposed jobs anymore and the director or head or whatever had been forced to take her on staff because he needed someone with real medical skills.

"You will do what you were told to do- the Kommandant does not accept failures." Kommandant? That was a new word... what did it mean? Was a Kommandant a law or regulation or was it a person? Triclops kept himself very firmly still, faking his sleep, but glad to hear it when Kendalina's response wasn't restrained.

"Funny, but the 'Kommandant' didn't seem to care much about how YOU kept makin' a mess of shit down here, Medic Fuck-Up." It took all of Triclops' restraint to keep himself from bolting upright as he heard the resounding noise of a hand striking flesh that was unmistakably the other medic in the room retaliating against Kendalina's insult.

"Fix it." Then there was a click and snap of the doors shutting. Triclops heard something like a sigh come from Kendalina, except... well, Kendalina just didn't sigh, for starters. Then, he felt a slight shift in the table- no matter how sturdy or solid the surface, he had found by experience, whenever enough weight was put on it, anything would bend, even if just the littlest bit. A Human woman sitting down on the edge of a table like this would be enough that anyone laying down on it would be able to feel the shift. After a moment, Kendalina took a deep breath and he felt her hand on his chest again.

But this time, the touch was lighter. And it made Triclops wary.

"I want to see Viro." Her voice had changed, too- it was suddenly higher pitched and sweet in a way that Kendalina never would have been. Inside, Triclops wanted to kick something, even as Viro told him to 'Shove over' in a smug tone, as though he had every right to show off like this. Before Triclops could even protest, Viro had made himself right at home in the little space he normally occupied in Triclops' conscious mind.

"I'm out, Woman. But if this isn't urgent, the Boy wants to see his own little sweetheart with the sharp tongue." Viro said, even as he pulled his arms up, effortlessly despite the restraints, and put them around Woman's shoulders. Triclops, for his part, sat back and watched in an oddly detached sense, yet feeling and seeing and hearing at the same time. He'd grown used to it, strangely enough, even as he felt Woman lean against his own chest that was Viro's at the moment, and pretended it was him and Kendalina having the embrace.

"Well, I just wanted to say hello- is that such a crime?" Woman said, coquettishly, even as Viro stroked her hair, despite his seeming protests that she was insisting on having a moment.

"Crime or not, it doesn't matter since we're in a prison, anyway." Viro noted, but Triclops heard him smirking. He obviously didn't care about whatever kind of trouble they'd get in if a guard came in at this very second, and Triclops supposed he really didn't need to care- alone, twenty squadrons of special soldiers could be called in to attempt to subdue Viro and he would swat them down like flies. With Kendalina at his side, Triclops had very little doubt that it would take at least three legions to even come close to dealing with them.

"Oh hush and let me soak." Woman said, nuzzling against the expanse of bare skin she'd made in the part of his shirt. Viro breathed in, slowly and deeply, and Triclops could feel how Kendalina's cheek rubbed against the spot on his breast where the pectorals met with the abdominals. Reluctantly, he had to admit it was relaxing to feel her touching him again, even if the setting wasn't the most romantic.

After a few moments, however, Triclops felt Viro shift and stepped forward to take his spot. He considered asking if Kendalina was out yet, but got his answer soon enough as her body slid out from between his arms and two of her fingers came to flick him firmly on the junction of his forehead to the bridge of his nose.

"Hello, Kendalina." He said, fondly, even as Kendalina grinned at him. Now that his eyesight had cleared up again, he could see her face more clearly than before. In just six years, she had gone from a teenager with a boyish appearance to a young woman with a masculine face and body, which was somehow sleek and appealing in a strange sense.

From what Triclops could see, her arms had compacted over the years- still muscular and powerful as ever, but they were just the littlest bit longer, as well as her legs and no longer bulky with muscle the way they had been when Kendalina had been thirteen. Now, they were... more slender. Triclops supposed that Kendalina had lost weight from a combination of stress, always being on the run, and not having constant access to food, but there was a new kind of power hidden in them now- like how the tighter you curled a spring and the smaller it got, the more powerful it became when released.

Kendalina's face still had wide cheeks and a firm, blunt chin, but it was narrower now and sharper. The long hair on her head was still in that style of being cropped just around her ears with half of her face covered by the bangs, but the crop was even this time and he could see a strange kind of gleam in Kendalina's silvery eyes that danced between womanly and manly. Indeed, she looked much more like a woman, but still somehow hermaphroditic more than anything else. To be more precise, she resembled a very beautiful male youth, but it was just one of those things about Kendalina that had made her more fun to get along with. Triclops couldn't help but stare for a few moments, before Kendalina chortled.

"I'll take that as a compliment, then, but only because it's YOU." She said, grinning. Triclops blushed for a moment, even as Kendalina tweaked his nose, just in the slightest, "But YOU... you haven't seen yourself in a few years, I'm gonna wager." Kendalina met his eyes, squarely, even as Triclops shook his head, no, he hadn't. In response, Kendalina held up a mirror.

Triclops' first response was a sharp intake of breath, his second to stare.

"That cannot be me..." He finally said. Kendalina didn't respond, just letting him stare for a moment longer.

Before Triclops had entered the prison, he had had a long face, to be sure, but it had been full and shining with the optimism of a youth who has his life before him. He'd had a few scars, true, but properly maintained health and hygiene over the years, as well as some healthy sun and exercise had made them less noticeable. Now, however, his face had grown even narrower and longer than before. He still had no facial hair, but then, he also suspected that something had been stunted in his growth, or at least something was abnormal, because all the hair on his face was still downy, not concealing his pointed chin in the least. His brow was heavy and lined with creases from frowning- Viro's fault, he suspected- and his eyes were smaller and deeper set into his face.

But, when his face had been smooth before, there were now pits and scars in his temples and over his forehead and under his chin. His hair, which he had always kept relatively short was now a mane of scraggly white that stood up in utter defiance of gravity, his bangs now pulled back to reveal a sharp, steep widow's peak.

Triclops could also tell, without standing up, that he was now inordinately tall. From the way his legs were now stretched out, Triclops would have guessed at least 195 centimeters. All in all, it was a very mind-boggling experience to fall asleep one day, knowing he was sixteen, then wake up the next and see his reflection aged into a grown man.

"I didn't recognize you at first, either." Kendalina finally said, butting into his reflection. Triclops looked away from the mirror long enough to give her an incredulous stare- after all, there weren't many people in the galaxy with pure white hair like this, nor a third eye in the back of their head, so how could she have possibly doubted it was him?- before he saw the little smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

It was exceedingly welcome to be teased by Kendalina again, as though everything was normal.

"Kenda..." Triclops was beginning to feel somewhat stupid, not having said anything really yet, but Kendalina gave him a firm push down by the juncture in his chest, even if it was with a small smile.

"Later- right now, I've got to pretend I'm doing something to try and make you wake up." The words sparked Triclops' memory enough that he managed to talk, a little more smoothly this time.

"Oh... you said you would find out... what they are trying to do..." Triclops said, hand going out and gripping Kendalina wrist. Kendalina paused and pivoted a little to look back at Triclops over her shoulder, before she let out a frustrated sigh.

"I said I would TRY- they're not really giving me any information to work with. They've mostly been trying to make you wake up during the time I've observed." Kendalina explained, "But, really, I don't know what they're so intent on waking you up for..."

"Maybe you should let them know, then." Triclops said, slowly. Kendalina stopped her puttering with the medical instruments and outright stared at him, "...Maybe we might find out what their objective is once they begin their next set of tests now that I'm awake." It was a reasonable enough argument, as far as Triclops could see.

Then, Kendalina frowned.

"...Whatever happens, don't tell them anything." She finally said. Triclops smiled, just the littlest bit, and nodded.

"I will not. You have my promise." He assured her. Kendalina's face was grim, before she strapped him back down to the table, then left the room. Triclops did his best to relax, even as a tech entered into the room with a predatory expression that only Viro recognized and a datapad.

Staying calm and quiet would not be as easy as he'd thought.

* * *

"Trike, how're you feeling?" Kendalina's voice brought him back to consciousness for the second time in a row- something about how heavy his eyelids felt and how much his head was pounding told him that he had not simply been out for a matter of hours. 

"...Do you REALLY want me to answer that question honestly?" Triclops finally muttered, "Because I can think of a few words I would like to use that might be singularly unhelpful, yet very descriptive."

Kendalina laughed.

"In other words, you feel like shit." She muttered, "Don't underestimate how helpful that statement can be." There was something on his forehead that was cool and rock hard, like someone had dug a pile of rocks out from under the snowy top of a mountain. Probably ice. His temples, right where he'd seen the pits and scars in the mirror, were on fire as the coldness touched them, before the chill was lifted and suddenly, a sting entered his mind.

He knew, especially from the smell, that Kendalina was swabbing some kind of cut on his face with alcohol or iodine to prevent infection. Strangely, the sting was welcome compared to how his head seemed to have been lined with lead, all of a sudden. Now that he thought about it, his whole body felt that way, but kept jerking and twitching.

"...What...?" Triclops didn't remember anything that had happened, but he had the distinct impression it was due to whatever had given him this horrible, horrible migraine and was making his muscles move without any prompting.

"Apparently there's some new method of 'treatment' that the Imps are trying to figure out if it could be used to 'cure' people of stuff. They put wires on your head, flip a switch, and if you don't fry up while they're doin' it, the static electricity afterwards'll kill ya." Kendalina surmised. Triclops listened, trying to comprehend it, but his brain didn't seem to want to work.

"...Cure... of what?" He finally managed. Kendalina made a disgusted noise, and the biting, freezing, wonderful ice was replaced on his head.

"You know- the usual stuff that CAN'T be cured, but they're gonna try anyway because they don't want any imperfections." Kendalina muttered, "...You know- pacifism, being a gypsy, political awareness, homosexuality, moral compasses, religious tendencies... In other words, anything that makes you different, but not different in a way they can use to exploit you." Triclops normally would have listened and then asked Kendalina what she actually meant, as though Kendalina's response had been sarcasm, except he knew it was all too true.

"...What... did they... do?" Triclops struggled with the words, as his tongue felt like it had expanded to twice its size and was now permanently stuck to the bottom of his mouth. Kendalina's hands were on his head where the ice wasn't and Triclops could feel his headache receding. He let out a contented sigh as Kendalina spoke.

"Shock therapy, they call it. It's really stupid, but they kept asking you questions about your dreams, what you'd seen, and if you did anything. You didn't tell them anything, but eventually you said something like 'Why do YOU not do my dreaming for me- then, we shall save a step in this process. And it might actually be correct and truthful coming from you.' Man, that tech was mad."

"Oh..." Triclops muttered, vaguely. It explained why he had injuries on his head- the tech had probably been very mad, or at least mad enough that the shock treatment would leave some bleeding wounds or burns. It didn't make the injuries any less painful, but Triclops was at least glad to understand WHY they hurt.

"I know it's gonna hurt like hell, but you gotta stay awake- shocks like that are essentially a non-invasive form of a lobotomy, so you've got a concussion here. If you fall asleep, you're probably not gonna wake up again." Kendalina said, even as Triclops felt his eyelids droop. Sleep sounded so inviting right now, but at the same time, so uninviting. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to be asleep, or if maybe he just wanted to wake up.

"But, on the upshot, you're gonna be seeing a lot of me, now." Kendalina kept talking, thought Triclops suspected it was mostly to keep him awake. This new statement of hers was very effective in doing that.

"Oh... really?" Triclops mumbled, his mouth now feeling numb. Perhaps that was one of the side effects of the shock treatment- all the nerves in his face felt completely burned out, though that might have been the relieving effect of the ice Kendalina had put on his face, "That's... good..."

"Yeah... the old man they keep calling 'Kommandant' noticed how all the other medics are suddenly useless and how incredible MY mad skillz are to them, so I've gotta take care of the whole damn medcenter- that means some troops get to live another day, because if I started killing off my patients, it'll get suspicious. But, on the other hand, you're the only other person in this place they want kept alive. So, his Excellency's royal son will be under my personal care. That means YOU, Trike." Kendalina's voice was grinning, Triclops could just feel it. It was enough to make him smile, too, even if it was short lived by how much smiling HURT.

Then, something else occurred to Triclops, even though he couldn't reach out and grab Kendalina to get her attention.

"...Kenda... why..."

"Hush- keep still and you'll heal faster. Whatever you want to ask, it can wait."

Kendalina's hand ran over his face and Triclops felt a drowsiness come over him forcing him into that state between consciousness and sleep.

* * *

"Kendalina, why do they want me alive?" Triclops asked the next day, or perhaps the next week, but it was the next time he saw Kendalina. After she had told him that the techs and guards wanted him to be kept alive- and very definitely alive, not just stalling for time on how to kill him- Triclops and Viro had been tossing the idea back and forth all through the dreamscape, but neither of them could come up with a reason why it would be so. Even the theory about the third eye was shot down quickly, since the techs and guards didn't seem to even understand that it was important- if nothing else, the deformity should have made him even more 'undesirable', someone they wanted to get rid of before anyone else.

Kendalina's answer was just as confused.

"I'm not sure why, but I did figure out some other stuff- you're not the only one who's being experimented on. A lot of the other prisoners here are getting strapped down to a table not unlike the one you're on right now and being cut open, drugged, shocked, tortured, and a number of other things you just DON'T wanna hear about." Kendalina said, looking depressed,

"There's one guy- he's just a kid, too- who got his face all pierced with needles and they replaced all the protein in his skin with somethin' that will never decay or nothin' so he'll never get wrinkles and always look like he's young. They cut open this other guy's head and messed around with his brain so much that he just died on the table... The problem is that there's no consistent pattern with the experiments they're doin' or how... it's all mish-mash." Kendalina paused, during which time, Triclops pondered this information.

"It could be that they are experimenting for different things- after all, those other experiments, they did not care if the..." Triclops didn't want to say person or victim, because it just made it harder to accept that the people here were actively killing other living beings and he was still alive, "...The subjects do not survive. In my case, they are trying to keep me alive. Those other experiments are not geared towards keeping the subjects alive afterward."

Kendalina considered this, then admitted he had a point.

"But what could they be trying to find? I mean, the way that they're going about with these experiments, they cost so much in the supplies they use and the experiments don't kill off people nearly as quickly as they seem to be bringing them in... After all, if the point of these places is to get rid of people who they want dead, it would make more sense to line up firing squads, not engineer experiments for each and every individual... It's just so senseless and sloppy..."

The word senseless sparked something in Triclops' mind that made him sit up with alarm as he grabbed Kendalina's arm. She even jumped a little, but didn't react violently as Triclops clutched at her with utter panic.

"He knows." Triclops whispered in a hushed, horrified voice, "He knows you are here. That is why." Kendalina took a bit of a step back, but didn't really recoil from Triclops altogether.

"Trike, what're you talking about? WHO are you talking about- whaddya mean 'He knows' and 'That's why'? You're not making sense." All this was said in the course of two seconds and in an equally hushed voice, before Kendalina tacked on, "And why are we whispering?"

"The Chancellor... Chancellor Pal-... no, he calls himself the Emperor now, does he not? Emperor Palpatine..." Triclops stammered, starting to shake Kendalina in his grip to accentuate his point, "He knows you are here. That must be it! None of this has a point except to be a decoy, to keep you wondering and investigating, and so he can then..." Kendalina's expression had hardened into that look Kendalina wore when she didn't believe him about something, "He knows! He knows and is trying to catch you. That is the only explanation!"

"Triclops..." Kendalina said in a warning tone, "You aren't makin' a hell of a lotta sense- even if it explains everythin', you need to have better reasons for why it does. Otherwise, you're just bein' panicky and paranoid." Triclops' grip didn't lessen- if anything, he clutched at her arm tighter.

"Are you not listening?" Triclops' voice was feeling strained, "We were living under his nose for almost all of our lives- he knows how you think. He KNEW that you would come for me if I was imprisoned, because you did it every time for me in the past. All it was a matter of was a matter of time, but he KNEW that once you found out I was in prison, again, he knew you would come for me. And now, he has you right where he wants you, where nobody will question if you disappear suddenly. Kenda, can you not see it?"

Kendalina puffed up, but Triclops could see her mind clicking through it all inside her head.

"Triclops, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard..." The words came out halfheartedly, so Triclops knew that she was slowly beginning to admit it to herself, or at least wonder if it was true. Triclops continued to stare up at her with pleading eyes, even as he wished it wasn't true. Kendalina's face was still firm as ever, but it was more brute stubbornness than certainty.

After a long pause, Kendalina pulled Triclops against her shoulder and rested her chin on his head.

"You have to get out." Triclops suddenly said, voice muffled, "...As long as you are here..."

"The more I can do to keep their mitts offa you." Kendalina interrupted, "As long as I'm here, you're just that much closer to being as safe as possible, even if we are in a death camp. No, Trike, listen to me- If I leave now, they'll notice. I was able to pull a Mind Trick on all the subordinates, but the Kommandant is different- his mind is stronger than the rest, and he knew almost immediately what I was doing and kicked me back into my own mind. Then, there's the fact that once they figured out what I'd done, YOU'D be in trouble. And if I took you with me, they'd be able to track us, then."

Triclops looked up and stared at her.

"One thing they did while you were conked out was installing a tracking and communicator device in one of your teeth. And whoever did it was a damn genius- it won't be ruined by chewing or tooth decay bacteria, if I were to try breaking the damn thing with a drill or something, a doomsday trip would activate and set off an explosion, and the tooth they picked was one that has a root running up to your brain. So, can't wear it down, can't break it, can't pull it. We're stuck with you being tagged and collared, whether we like it or not. And because of that, we're stuck with me staying here- if I escape, you're in danger, because they know I'm a Jedi and I'll feel anything they do to you through the Force. If I take you with me, they track us both down and kill us."

"We are stuck." Triclops muttered, knowing it was only true. Finally, he let out a sigh, burrowing his face back in Kendalina's shoulder.

"There's a bright side, though." Kendalina noted, "Because I had to come here with Kao-Lin, she's seen firsthand what the Empire's really doing. She's felt through the Force that the people who are being sentenced to death here aren't criminals of any real sort- but it's just because they're imperfect or protesters or dissenters. It's sure opened HER eyes. She'll be able to get off the planet and do some good somewhere else." Triclops breathed in Kendalina's scent for a moment, then breathed out, slowly.

"Where will she go?" He asked. Kendalina's shoulder moved up for a moment as she shrugged.

"She'll probably try the resistance movement I was part of- after all, Senator Organa's started getting pretty serious about actually fighting against Darth Sidious, they're gonna need all the support they can get. And Kao-Lin's gonna change her name anyway, so she thought of putting those little pick-pocketing skills of hers to use." Kendalina explained, even as she didn't sound particularly enthusiastic about the subject.

Triclops smiled. It was comforting and familiar to listen to Kendalina talk in such a tone, as though everything was okay, as though they were still living in that apartment of theirs, as though they were both still free and together and...

And...

"Master Retaw..." Triclops suddenly said. Kendalina stopped talking- Triclops had mostly tuned out her particular words, as he knew she was just jabberwockying, anyhow- but didn't seem to be particularly shocked back into reality the way Triclops felt.

"What about her?" She asked. Given that reaction, Triclops relaxed- if Kendalina was still casual, that meant nothing too horrible had happened, or at least nothing that she knew about. And, given that it was the same teacher both of them had willingly given up their adolescence to chase after, Triclops sincerely doubted that Kendalina had simply not paid Master Retaw any mind throughout this conflict.

"...It just occurred to me... is she still alive or..."

"Master Retaw's alive, Trike." Kendalina reassured him, "Alive and well and fighting."

Triclops stared at Kendalina for a moment, before frowning.

"How do you know? Have you seen her?" He asked, sitting up a little to watch her expression. In all honesty, he wanted to hear that the woman who had become their surrogate mother had been seen alive and been in contact with someone and really, truly, spoken with Kendalina, even if it was a brief, passing conversation.

"No. I've been on the run, remember? If I'd seen her, it would have only put her in danger." Kendalina replied, looking away, into the blank space on the wall. Triclops felt himself wilt.

"Then... how..." He began, but Kendalina had a small smile on her face.

"Because I KNOW her, Trike. I know Master Retaw... she's the kind of person who would never let herself die if someone important to her was still waiting for her. Both of us are here, waiting, expecting to see her again. She won't let anyone kill her. Master Retaw is just that kind of person. We'll see her again, for sure." Kendalina looked back at Triclops, her gray eyes gleaming with confidence that seemed to be more than just reassurance- it was as though she were speaking to him some great secret that was fit for his ears, alone.

This was even more comforting than solid information. Triclops couldn't help but smile.

"We are nothing more than sentimental, clingy children." He finally said, almost self-deprecatingly, except it wasn't, really. Kendalina snorted and when Triclops looked up, there was a look of mixed amusement and upset on her face.

"It's better than being parents of sentimental, clingy children." Kendalina finally said, quietly. Triclops sat up, staring at Kendalina a little more incredulously than before. A moment ago, it might have been just ogling and soaking up her presence, but now, he was utterly confused.

"Kenda..." He whispered, his grip on her arms sliding down to the lower half of her forearms, almost her wrists, even as Kendalina continued to avoid his eyes, "...Why do you say that?" Kendalina turned away.

"I wonder what they're gonna try tomorrow- after a shot at electro shock, there's not much new stuff they can do, so they'll start trying combination treatments..." Kendalina said, off-handedly, which made Triclops worry even more.

"Kendalina, this is the second time this has come up- last time that we talked about having children, you said you preferred to not be a mother, but then started talking about the conditions that you WOULD have children under, and never really answered the question, and now, you're avoiding it completely." Triclops insisted, tightening his hand around her wrist and trying to pull her back to look at him, "Why do you not want to talk about it?"

Kendalina's head snapped around but the look in her eyes was so venomous that Triclops recoiled almost instantly.

"Don't ask me that, Trike." She hissed. When Triclops could only stare, she repeated it, "Don't ask me that. I can't answer you."

And then, Kendalina left, snapping the door behind her shut with a firm click that made Triclops wonder what he'd done wrong.

* * *

Kendalina had had several different kinds of residences over the years since she'd left the Jedi Temple, beginning with the apartment she'd shared with Triclops. Some of them had been relatively nice, others had been once step away from being condemned, some had even BEEN condemned and that was the specific reason Kendalina had propped her feet up in that place, and some had been places never intended for living creatures to inhabit, save for the decomposing bacteria that floated in the air.

On the whole, Kendalina hadn't really cared about her living quarters, except whether or not she could get in and out and survive in the place. In most cases, it wasn't too bad.

However, in all those situations, Kendalina had mostly been on her own except for Triclops or Kao-Lin... She was NOT used to sharing a room with so many other people. Such as this stupid dormitory room that all the medical staff was housed in.

The advantage, however, still remained in the fact that with so many other people in the room with her, none of them could get alone with her. Or, at any rate, the damn Kommandant couldn't. He'd taken one look at her and Kendalina could practically feel his hands stripping her down in his mind. Any Jedi tricks which she tried on him failed so miserably, she suddenly felt like a novice trying to pull one over on Master Yoda, again. It was only because she'd been training with her apprentice on Myrkr for the past three years with alternative forms of energy that she hadn't been completely defenseless in that man's presence.

It had also disturbed her the very likeness yet unlikeness he had seemed to bear to Triclops... that man had also had a third eye, but it had been in his forehead instead of in the back. Talk about a pointless place for an eye. At least an eye in the BACK of your head made sense...

With a snort, Kendalina attempted to climb to the top bunk in the stacked beds, only to find it occupied by another Human woman that looked... suspiciously familiar. Kendalina blinked, then poked the woman to be sure she wasn't dead, met with an annoyed face as the woman rolled over that quickly split into a smile.

"Well! If it isn't the Thirteen-year-Jedi-Knight, formerly known as Medic Kendalina Orewahime." The medic said, making Kendalina grin.

"And I'll be damned if it ain't the Medic whose name I never remembered and yet taught me everything I knew about a medcenter!" Kendalina replied with equal cheer, "What up, Medic BaBa?"

The Medic sat up.

"How about you just call me 'Medic'? It makes more sense than some stupid nickname." She offered, smiling genuinely as Kendalina occupied the bunk below her, "Something tells me you just got back from seeing your boy-toy with the three eyes."

Kendalina smirked.

"I like to think of Trike as more than just a toy..." She replied, even as Medic snickered.

"Oh really?"

"Everyone knows that toys aren't nearly as much fun if they only have one function... some of my favorite toys growing up were jumpropes 'cuz they could be used to exercise, climb down walls, and strangle people."

"Ah."

Kendalina fell asleep thinking that this place wouldn't be TOO bad if there were at least some friendly faces around her.

Hell, she doubted even the Kommandant would be able to fend her off if something happened to any of these important people. And Kendalina had every intention of fighting back for their sake.

* * *

The new woman medic who he'd been forced to bring in was certainly something else. Indeed, she had a fire to her that was almost like a spicy challenge. It wasn't often that he met ANY people who could attempt to defy him, so a mere female like this one was unexpected, to say the least. But that had been her only advantage to get the upper hand on him- he would be even more careful next time, and show her who gave the orders.

Still... Even if there wasn't much to be said about her appearance, that woman had muscles. Unsightly, to be sure, and the kind of build that could only be described as indecent- no REAL woman would ever have such disgusting traits, let alone flaunt them like this one did. No matter how ugly she was, there was still the fact that she would pose a challenge, physically.

The Kommandant knew he would enjoy seeing her struggle when she finally realized that it was futile.

A/N: Now, we have the introduction of our (Not-so-Lovely) Antagonist. As for Kendalina's secret, we will find out soon, precious. Yes, we will find out VERY soon.


	29. Part IV: Chapter 5

By Sapadu

Chapter 5: Relation

re·la·tion /rɪˈleɪʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-**ley**-sh_uh_n Pronunciation Key - noun

1. an existing connection; a significant association between or among things. 2. relations, a. the various connections between peoples, countries, etc. b. the various connections in which persons are brought together. c. sexual intercourse. 3. the mode or kind of connection between one person and another, between an individual and God, etc. 4. connection between persons by blood or marriage. 5. a person who is related by blood or marriage; relative. 6. the act of relating, narrating, or telling; narration. 7. Law. a principle whereby effect is given to an act done at one time as if it had been done at a previous time. 8. Mathematics. a. a property that associates two quantities in a definite order, as equality or inequality. b. a single- or multiple-valued function. —Idiom 9. in or with relation to, with reference to; concerning. 

"_It's all your fault."_

_One thing that adults often forget about being a child is how easily you can be scared. An adult understands the world they live in, at least enough that such things as the dark and spooky noises do not frighten them as badly as their children. An adult will be startled by a loud thump from their closet once, then rationalize it away with something and if the noise persists, they will grow annoyed. Children, however, still do not know enough about the world to understand that a bump in the night might just be something falling off of a self- they will only understand it as a monster under their bed._

"_If only you hadn't been born... none of this would have had to happen to me..."_

_To an adult, mere words of blame do not have the same effect, because adults have enough experience to think logically over the truth of those words. Children still do not know enough about the world that, for all they know, lies could very well be true._

"_If only you'd never survived, that man wouldn't be DOING this to me, anymore... No, it wasn't enough that I gave you life, you wanted it all for yourself, didn't you?"_

_Small children are especially afraid when someone approaches them with such malice and they have no way of defending themselves._

_"You wicked, evil child. I wish you were dead. I wish you'd never been born- no, you'd never been conceived! If only you'd never quickened in me- we could have tried for another child and then it would have been over with. Maybe it would have been a GOOD child, too."_

_Thus small, handicapped children in abusive homes know more about fear than most people in the world would even think they know. Veterans of war, escapees of prison, rescued slaves, and battered spouses- they know nothing of true horror. They all understand, to some degree, the situation they were in. They all know that people around them are dying, or they might be killed, or when the next blow of the whip will strike. Children don't, and worse, they can't even run away._

_"I hate you."_

_They are completely at the mercy of the healthy, dangerous adults who rule their universe._

_"Teacher says you're the ones who are wicked..."_

* * *

Time passes slowly when you're miserable and at rest. When a person is busy and happy, time will go by quickly, because they don't care about the time. When a person wishes that the day would just be over with, they check time more often and the hours drag.

Triclops knew this well enough. However, he also knew from a vast amount of experience how to make the day go quickly. Mostly, by sleeping through it.

"Trike... Are you up?"

For Kendalina, however, Triclops could awaken from a deep, stage four, REM cycle sleep and be perfectly alert. It was as though her presence spurred the production of activators in his brain, though he wouldn't have doubted it if someone told him that she'd done something like that with her "Mad skillz." Kendalina was just like that, somehow.

"I am, now." He said, sitting up as best he could from the examining table- It was a mixed blessing that he was being kept in this room, instead of being moved back and forth from the cell to the lab, because now that they were keeping him alive and happy, he was either being fed with all necessary nutrients through a needle, or better food. On the other hand, there was no chance for him to fight back and possibly avoid being experimented on at all.

And, damn it, he hadn't worked on making all those walls in his cell smooth for nothing.

"I kinda noticed- so, how's His Excellency's Royal Son feelin'? Still like shit, or more like crap?" Kendalina asked, cheerfully sitting herself down on the edge of the table. Triclops was used to her crude sense of humor.

"Ha very ha." He said, humorlessly. Kendalina ignored it. They both knew that the other was pretending to be cheerful or cranky.

"You keep sleeping through your meals, too- I should know, since I'm the one giving them to you through an IV all the time. Can't say I blame you, though- the stuff they feed us when we actually have to chew it ain't fit for pigs. Still... gettin' stuck with needles alla time ain't healthy- the body innit meant to keep healing like that." Kendalina continued. Triclops knew she was partially telling the truth, or else she wouldn't mention it, but the way she delivered the news told him that she was also trying to fill up time and pretend everything was okay.

"What do you want, Kendalina?" Triclops asked, finally. Kendalina blinked at him with false surprise.

"Trike, that hurts. I just wanted to SEE you." So Triclops knew Kendalina wanted to talk about something particularly touchy, since she was pretending to be so girlish and offended. She NEVER said things like 'I'm hurt' or 'That's offensive', instead preferring to pretend that she just didn't care.

"Funny, but whenever you claim to just want to 'See' me, you seem to talk a great deal." Triclops put in. It was enough that Kendalina laughed, just a bit.

Then, she was quiet.

"Okay... I had some news about... well, it's not that important, really... I mean, if you wanna know, great, but, it's not like we gotta deadline to get this out..." Triclops yanked the restraints off the table with a force that he'd never known himself to be capable of- sure, Viro had done it, but HE'D never managed it before, which was only telling of how much muscle he was building.

"Kendalina, what is it that you want to tell me?" He asked, calmly, but firmly. Part of it was that he usually was very easy to irritate when Kendalina did things like this, but there was another part of him that just did not like seeing Kendalina uncomfortable, nor that liked knowing she was afraid to say something.

For one thing, it just didn't suit Kendalina to be anything but confident, but there was also that issue from the beginning of their relationship about Kendalina's attitude regarding men.

Kendalina sighed and sat down on the table, not looking at Triclops.

"...It's about your... um..." Kendalina fumbled for the right words for a moment, "...background... the bloodlines... uh... the lineage you come from... I mean..." Triclops blinked at her for a moment, frowning a little at her hesitancy.

"My parents, you mean?" He asked, quietly. Kendalina turned and raised an eyebrow at him, before she shrugged, then suddenly looked confused again.

"...You REALLY okay with callin' 'em THAT?" She asked, finally, which made Triclops start in understanding.

"Oh..." In all truthfulness, he'd never really thought of the people responsible for his existence as his 'Parents' or 'Mother and Father'. They'd just been 'Those people' or 'The woman who birthed me' or 'The man who conceived me' or some other similar- but much more colorful- words that Viro sometimes used when speaking of Emperor Palpatine and that unknown woman from his experiments.

"...Just givin' ya a warnin'... it's not really pretty..." Kendalina said, cautiously, in a way that made Triclops worry- it truly did not suit Kendalina to be nervous, at least, not like this. She was looking away as though expecting to be hit or yelled at.

Though, Triclops mused, she could have also been feeling guilty at having to give the bad news- yes, that must be it.

"...I already know... some of it..." Triclops said, softly, putting one hand on Kendalina's shoulder and feeling immensely relieved that she didn't flinch, "...The other me... the one that your other self calls her lover... he told me some things..."

Kendalina still didn't look at him.

"...Like?"

"Well... how... that woman... is dead now... and... that man is... was Chancellor Palpatine..." Kendalina made a noncommittal noise, but sighed at last.

"...That's... mostly on track... but there's some other stuff... that you might not wanna hear..." Kendalina muttered. Triclops looked away, this time.

"My mother did not want me." He said, and from what he could hear, Kendalina sounded surprised by this, or at least that he knew, "Since she died while I was born... She did not want me... I know that... and it does not surprise me, frankly..."

Triclops was startled, but somehow not surprised, when Kendalina's arms went around his head and pressed his ear to her breast. Blinking for a few moments, Triclops slowly breathed in her smell and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of her heartbeat to lull him.

"Trike..." Why Kendalina was being so emotional about THIS, of all things, Triclops didn't understand.

After a moment, however, they parted.

"Don't worry- that's not what I had to say." Kendalina smoothed his hair, even as Triclops kept his eyes closed and nodded, prepared, "It's really... well, you said that she died when you were born... that's not entirely true..." Triclops' eyes opened and he stared at Kendalina, whose face was serious, "She wasn't happy about having a kid, that was for sure... but, the reason she died was because she was killed..."

Triclops didn't react- he'd had a vague feeling that if it hadn't been one cause of death, it would have been the other.

"...The way Crazy Eyes had the idea to... breed, in the first place, was he had a test subject brought in, but since they couldn't recreate spontaneous fertilization with this woman- whose name was Niobi, by the way- he eventually conceded to try artificial insemination... so... yeah..." Triclops winced at the mention- partially because he, personally, would never trust a doctor with needles or scalpels anywhere NEAR his nether regions, but also from a strange dilemma that living beings should, as a general rule, be happy they were alive and not be discontent for not being able to conceive naturally or any other medical displacement.

"...But, since you were the product of the experiment, suddenly, they had to get rid of the evidence. They still needed YOU, because they needed to know how the experiment turned out, but the WOMAN... well, she had to go, so... they killed her..." Kendalina paused, and Triclops understood why it was taxing for her to explain this.

"...Rather messily, too... I mean, they wanted every scrap of evidence that she'd ever existed GONE... they burned her house, took in a whole neighborhood as prisoners just because they knew her and had some weird business with their brains done so none of them remembered her, just totally eradicated her... But, since this was still when Palps was Chancellor, there were some... less than scrupulous scientists who took pieces of her like a finger or toe or something else, preserved them, then hid them and hid them GOOD, thinking they could use it to blackmail the Chancellor someday...

"Then... the Red Guard found out... and Palps sent guys to kill ALL of them off. But, the problem was, they never found the pieces they took and preserved. So, they've been floating around the galaxy for who-knows-how-long... and nobody knew where they were- seriously, with THAT hangin' over his head, no wonder Sid's hair went white so quick." Kendalina paused to draw breath, but Triclops had figured it out.

"And you found one of those pieces." He surmised. Kendalina grinned, as Triclops shifted to rest his elbows on her shoulders from behind, burying his face in her hair as he listened to her account.

"You bet your ass I did. And I ran some tests on her DNA code... then on... the DNA of Darth Sidious..." Triclops paused from nuzzling her hair, wondering where she was going with this, especially as she was beginning to sound nervous again, "...And, before you ask where I got HIS sample from, he HANDED it me several times, over and over again... whenever he gave me some kind of document or Holo projector, there was some scrap of his cells on that- oil from his hands, a single layer of skin cells that had come of by friction, a minuscule piece of hair from his knuckles or palm, or a small piece of nail... I got those samples and I examined them whenever I could, because I had a feeling I'd need SOME record of his genetic code at some point..."

"Kenda... get to the point." Triclops reminded her, gently, which cut off Kendalina's rambling.

"Right... so, anyway, I cross-referenced those samples and... well... found something..." Kendalina paused, then continued, "...For one... they ARE your... well, you are their offspring... I can say that for sure." Triclops listened for the other shoe to drop, "...But... their own codes... were... well, really similar... No, I mean, like really, really, REALLY similar."

Triclops blinked for a moment, before pulling away for a moment and leaning over Kendalina's shoulder to stare at her a bit more directly. Kendalina didn't meet his gaze.

"...What I'm saying is... Well, didn't you ever wonder why you've got an eye in the back of your head?"

"No." Triclops said, firmly, "I do not care, either- this eye is why I am the way I am, and I would not change that for the world." For a moment, Triclops could see Kendalina's face brighten, but it was gone quickly as she shot him a look.

"I didn't SAY anything like that... it's just... well, NORMALLY, people don't have eyes in the back of their skulls, so the fact that YOU'VE got one there is a mutation... but WHY did that mutation GET there?" Kendalina was obviously begging the question, so Triclops humored her for a moment, before she answered it, "What I'm saying is... I think, on accident or on purpose, I don't know... Palpatine used his own biological sister to bear his child."

Triclops blinked at this declaration for a moment, before the look on Kendalina's face told him she wanted him to say something.

"Oh." He finally said. When Kendalina stared at him with a 'Is that it?' look, he just shrugged, "So, I'm a product of incest then..."

Logically, he knew that such relations were generally frowned upon, but, quite frankly, he couldn't bring himself to care about it, right now. He was healthy and alive... if he weren't in a prison, Triclops had no doubt that he would be very happy. And, really, it was hard to care about the in-breeding of the Emperor and his sister, whom had been Triclops' birth-mother... not when he still couldn't think of them as his 'Parents', and when they were so far away and the current reality was that Kendalina was sitting here, with him, and had just delivered the news and STILL wasn't repulsed by him, anymore than the discovery of his third eye had.

"Don't you CARE?" Kendalina finally said, patience snapping. Triclops shrugged again.

"Not really... It could have been worse... after all, that woman was... what did you call it? Artificially inseminated? At least she wasn't... wasn't..." Triclops didn't want to say it, but Kendalina seemed to understand, either because she had seen a few too many births as a result of rape or because she knew Triclops' past concerning such matters. With a slight shock, Triclops realized he would have to tell her, and sooner rather than later seemed like a better idea, but as Triclops turned to speak, he was greeted by Kendalina smiling- and truly, peacefully smiling, instead of a fake grin or an exuberant, goofy smile that obviously hurt her cheeks with strain.

Before Triclops could get a word out, Kendalina was pressed against his chest, pulling on his wrists to drape his arms over her shoulders, before wrapping one of her own arms around his waist and resting her other hand on his chest.

"K-Kenda... why..."

"No words, Triclops, no words..."

If Triclops had had to place a reason on why Kendalina was being so emotional, he would have correctly guessed that Kendalina had just fallen in love with him all over again with those words.

* * *

_"Oh, I'M the evil one, am I? You miserable little wretch, so defective that God has abandoned you and left you without sight, cursed and born a sinner, YOU are passing judgment on ME? Just because some stranger who has abandoned God SAID that we were wicked? I've never heard such insolence in my life."_

_"Teacher is kind to me- you are not. I think Teacher knows better than you what wickedness is."_

_"Ha- Are you saying that because we punish those who have sinned, we are doing WRONG? Of course you would, your eyes are so stained you cannot even see the real world. That's but a mark of your sin and corruption- you don't even deserve the KINDNESS of our cruelty. We should just kill you and send you to the Hell you deserve, instead of giving you a chance to purge your soul."_

_"But you are my mother- weren't YOU born a sinner, if you were born with the destiny to give birth to me? But your parents allowed you to live and tried to save you. Teacher says it's your responsbilty to do that for me. You are a bad mother."_

_"A BAD MOTHER, AM I? That's funny coming from you- I have borne children, but you still remain unable to even see. If you think that I'm a poor mother, then I give you this: When you become a mother- and you WILL, whether you choose to or not- you will be ten times the horrible mother you think that I am."_

_"I won't have children, then."_

_"You won't have a choice- it is what God has decided for us all, in HIS plan for us. And know this- I have NEVER been wrong. Even when I carried you in the womb, I knew my fate was to bear a sinner. It was just because I didn't know she would steal the lives of her brothers that I continued with it- if I had known, you would not have lived to destroy your brothers. So, I curse you- you WILL bear, as God has foretold, and you WILL destroy your own child, even worse than you claim I have destroyed you, because that is all a sinner like you can do. That is what God has in His plan for YOU!"_

_"Madame Zuka, what are you doing up here?"_

_"Oh, hello... Jedi Retaw."_

_"What are you doing up here? And what were saying to Kendalina just now?"_

_"Who?"_

_"Kendalina- your daughter. The little blind girl who you've imprisoned up here- what were just saying to her?"_

_"Kendalina? I have no daughter by that name? I wasn't even aware I HAD daughter."_

_"...Fine, be gone with you then."_

_"Certainly... honorable Jedi Retaw."_

_"...Kendalina, what did exactly was she saying to you, just now?"_

_"...Nothing, Teacher."_

_"Don't lie to me. I know she was telling you SOMETHING, what was it?"_

_"...Nothing important."_

* * *

Triclops was surprised when he was escorted back to his cell at the end of the day. After a number of weeks being strapped down to a table and never taken back to his cell, it was a bit strange, but Triclops didn't let it show, even as he resumed his curled up position inside the cell- it seemed even smaller than ever, partially because he'd grown, he was sure, but there was something else about the room that was different. Even though he knew he should have been sleeping, Triclops stayed up and counted the stones.

Still six-hundred, eighty-seven, and three-fourths. Still just as smooth as he'd hammered them down to. Still just barely a meter in each direction.

Maybe it was just because it had been so long since Triclops had been here, between the coma and always being experimented on. But there was still the sense of foreboding, of something else at work behind the scenes.

What it was, though, Triclops wasn't sure of.

Until the next morning.

Instead of being taken to the lab, he was awoken with a sharp jab to the ribs, then led to a completely different building altogether. It was smaller than the med-lab, but still completely made at right angles, hard and cold. The room he was led into was bigger than the lab, or at least seemed that way because it was so empty. The room itself was more like a cell than the one he'd been taken from- no windows, no doors, not even a scratch on any of the walls. The sheets of metal fused together to form the walls could have been swapped with the ones across the room or next to them and nobody would have known the difference. Even the floor and ceiling were exactly the same.

"Stand here." The guard pointed to a spot in the very center of the floor. Triclops walked over, placidly, and stood precisely where he was told, then the guards all left the room, even the one who was supposed to be keeping him in order. Triclops could have walked out of the room if he so cared to do so, but curiosity overcame him as he stood, alone, in the dark room, wondering what it was that none of the guards wanted to be in here with him for.

The reason became plain in just a few minutes. The door opened and the lights clicked on. Triclops turned and saw a man enter. His face was young and smooth and handsome, square at the jaw with a firm chin, but long at the same time. His hair was dark and pulled out of his face completely, smoothed over the top of his head, and he stood commanding and powerful. The uniform was a plain enough that this man was obviously someone important, if the spikes on his shoulders didn't do that anyway.

The man just a bit shorter than him, but still tall compared to most men- probably around 190 centimeters, which gave Triclops a startling revelation that he, himself, had probably broken 200 if he could look down at this man. Indeed, the other man seemed displeased that he had to look up to see into Triclops' face.

But what made Triclops worry more than anything else was that, in the center of his forehead, this man had a third eye... just like him. Except all three were sneering.

"So, this is His Excellency's Royal Son, then?" The man said, mockingly. Triclops didn't flinch at the tone, but was becoming well aware that this man had impeccable eavesdropping abilities to have heard Kendalina's new nickname for him.

Triclops also had very little doubt that this man was the feared Kommandant who had taken over. There was something radiating power in his aura. As such, Triclops deemed it prudent to keep his mouth shut, even though the man was obviously trying to get a reaction out of him.

"Turn around." Triclops turned and didn't dare try to open his eye. Something in his gut was telling him it would be a bad, BAD idea to make this man even angrier than he already was.

"Shirt off." Triclops obeyed, uncaring. After all, why should he be complaining: The shirt cloth itched, for the least of starters. The room was warm in temperature, despite it's appearance. If the Kommandant was trying to humiliate him, Triclops was quite secure that a mere loss of shirt- or, for that matter, any article of clothing- would be insufficient. If the Kommandant was trying to be intimidating the way Triclops had been so easily manipulated in the past, it would prove to be a challenge, given that Triclops was taller, bigger, most likely stronger, and definitely smarter than his aggressor in this case.

"On your hands and knees." There was a strange noise like the creak of a stiff piece of leather. Triclops remembered the sound all too well from Kendalina's damn body suits and jackets, but there was some menace that Triclops somehow knew he'd heard before... less like clothing and more like... a rope or a chord or...

'Oh shit!' Viro's voice echoed through Triclops' head as he suddenly realized what was going to happen.

Or a whip.

There was a crack and Triclops saw lights flash before his eyes as a burn seared across his back, right down his spine. His arms buckled as the force and pain of the blow sent him further down, colliding with the floor. Such pain as this, Triclops had forgotten had existed, with his years in that coma, no longer resisting the guards or being beaten for hiding his bread.

"Up." The command was simple, but Triclops understood what it meant- The Kommandant wasn't content to simply beat him, but he was going to see how long Triclops would endure it. He was going to force Triclops to endure it, force Triclops to humiliate himself, force Triclops to submit.

It was a game.

Triclops remained on the floor. He didn't care what the punishment would be, but he was not going to willingly let this man whip him as he pleased. If the Kommandant wanted scars on Triclops' back, he would have to put them as Triclops lay on the floor, not as he was bent over, waiting for the bite of the lash.

"I said UP, boy." The Kommandant's toe from his steel-tipped boot prodded Triclops in the collarbone, forcing his shoulder to lift, but Triclops kept the rest of his body firmly motionless. He could feel blood trailing from the burning cut down his back, the already dried flakes of it sprinkling off as Triclops' back twisted with the motion of his shoulder and the dried attempts at the wound to clot and heal reopening.

Triclops' shoulder was dropped, but the Kommandant's boot returned under his chin, tipping his face to look up into that haughty, three-eyed face.

"I told you to get back up- don't be insolent." He snarled. Triclops didn't respond- he merely blinked, until the Kommandant lost patience and walked around to burrow his toe under Triclops' belly and push until he'd returned to the old position.

The next crack was louder than the first and this next blow seemed to not just sear, but slice at the same time, as though Triclops' skin was being cut open with a blade that had just been held over an open flame. The old wound suddenly felt numb compared to this fresh bleed.

'Let me at him- no way is he getting away with this.' Viro's offer, as tempting as it sounded, suddenly seemed incredibly callous, and not just because of his uncaring manner for this man's life.

'No. I will not let him know he has gotten to me.' Triclops replied, firmly, even as the third blow hit, the whip almost caressing into the wound it left as it slithered through his flesh and moved out, snakelike, leaving him to bleed.

'What? Got to you? He's a maniac, and it's OUR body he's hacking away at.' Viro argued, but Triclops refused to give in.

'This is a game for him. He is trying to make me submit, to make me give up. I will not give him that satisfaction.' Triclops insisted. Viro, even though Triclops could not see him face to face at present, must have been making a very comical expression.

'Oh come ON- can't I just break a leg or something? I won't even make the fucker bleed- just let me bruise him a little and maybe take one of his kidneys out of order?' It was a strange, almost humorous situation that Triclops was bargaining with Viro like this, compounded by Viro BEGGING, of all things.

'My answer is still no. It will only be worse if either of us actively fights back.' Triclops ended the conversation as his concentration was broken with the next lash. It curled around his neck, but then whipped away, taking his skin with it and leaving a bloody circle around the back of Triclops' neck like a bizarre, reversed necklace.

The Kommandant hadn't said anything, oddly enough. It was as though he were waiting for something.

A fifth blow ran against Triclops' shoulder blade so quickly and like the swing of a blade that Triclops felt more than the scar it left- it felt like that single lash had torn a wedge-shape of flesh away from his body, as he felt his own blood move from a trickle to a flow. Triclops closed his eyes and held his breath, trying to will his skin to just not feel the featherlight trail of blood that touched it. He felt sick, sicker than he could ever remember, and only now did he realize he was shaking, very badly.

_Just hold on..._ A voice inside Triclops' head that he didn't recognize, at least not without the face that went with it...

Just hold on...

* * *

"Ow, Trike. I don't know how you didn't scream, because that was damn painful..." Kendalina's voice was a very welcome sound that awoke Triclops as the sting of alcohol on his back and the smell of iodine permeated his other main senses. As for sight and taste, Triclops simply did not have the energy to open either his eyes or mouth and take in anything else around him.

"I mean, seriously- these are some nasty wounds, and they're gonna leave wicked scars. Hell, those'll probably be even more painful than the cuts themselves, or at least, you're gon' have a pretty tender back from now on." Kendalina's fingertips followed the sting of the disinfectant, but Triclops still didn't respond, except to move one of his hands to grasp Kendalina's.

Somehow, it wasn't as painful to know she understood. And Triclops didn't care that she'd felt it, as well... it just reminded him that at least she was THERE.

It was enough.

* * *

The first beating wouldn't be the last. The Kommandant had decided it was a good habit to stick to, to keep the lowly prisoners in their place. As such, Triclops' private whippings were almost every day, to the point that Triclops and Viro learned how to retaliate without even the Kommandant noticing. It was a trick Kendalina had come up with, really: What little ability of Force control Triclops- or, more appropriately, Viro- had, they used to stop circulation to Triclops' back during the whippings, enough that all he felt was a numbness and force of a blow. Later, the pain would return, but for the time being, Triclops was not going to be beaten at this game.

After a relatively short period of time, however, the Kommandant seemed to realize that his whip wasn't inciting the proper fear and pain in the scum he was supposed to be training. At any rate, the day came very soon that the Kommandant began to talk during their "sessions." It wasn't too difficult to tune him out, until he reached a particularly touchy subject, one day.

"It's an advantage of being the sole controller of a system like this, but because you're so much fun to whip, I'll let you in on a rule that nobody even knows about- would it interest you to know that it's forbidden for the staff to fraternize with the prisoners?" That caught Triclops' attention, even as he did his damnedest to keep himself calm and composed, "Of course, for most of the staff, this isn't an issue, because they know themselves to be above filth like you... but whatEVER will we do with that one female?"

Triclops said nothing.

"Oh, don't be cold, you know which one I'm talking about- the ugly one who's always being... what's a good word for it?... cuddly with you?" The Kommandant's tone was coy- something Triclops was very used to- but in a strange way that seemed to be for some other purpose.

"I have no idea what you mean." Triclops said, even though his voice felt dry and crumbling as the words came out of his mouth. He heard the Kommandant sneer.

"I've seen you two together- we HAVE holocams in that lab for a reason, you know. I KNOW how you two are always talking, whispering to each other sweet, empty words, how you always LOOK at her, and how you two are always, always TOUCHING." Triclops stared firmly at the floor, even as the Kommandant's voice hovered just barely over his ear, "If she wasn't so difficult to contain, she would have been executed long ago."

Triclops' face didn't change, but the fists his hands were shaped into clenched so tightly that his knuckles visibly turned white. Then, he heard the Kommandant laugh.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" He asked, mockingly, before the whip came down again, a shock of pain hitting Triclops so powerfully he could do nothing to stop the cry that escaped his throat, "But I wouldn't bother worrying." There was another lash, this one even worse, that pried a gurgling, choked noise from Triclops as his eyes watered, "Because I learned some other, more VALUABLE secrets... such as what you really ARE." There was another lash, and then, before Triclops could even draw breath from his scream, the Kommandant's boot began to grind its heel into the fresh cut, "I was interested to hear that you really are the genuine result of the Emperor's experiments. Oh, and I know some people who would KILL to know what I do, now. Wouldn't it be interesting if, for some reason, they never found His Excellency's Royal Son?"

The Kommandant's boot lifted, only to smash into the base of Triclops' skull and press his face to the floor, grinding his nose against the metal. He certainly didn't FEEL like royalty, let alone "His Excellency's Royal Son."

The whip came down again.

"Everything you have, everything you ever did have, everything that you ever will have- I'll take it all from you." The Kommandant's voice was filled with a new emotion now... disdain... and contempt, "Your heritage, your name, your past, your future... I'll take your very identity from you, and when the Emperor is gone, I will make the whole galaxy believe that I am the heir to his throne. And, especially, that woman you cherish so much..." Triclops felt his eyes open very wide, "They will all be mine."

"You are wrong." Triclops didn't know what was wrong with him, but his voice suddenly seemed to have a new life, one of it's own accord, tapped deep into a part of his soul that was not Viro, nor that third face, but wholly himself. That passion that he'd suppressed up until this moment, and now, it was coming out in bold fire, burning all in it's path.

"Kendalina will never be yours- she will never be anyones, except her own." Triclops looked back over his shoulder, eyes filled with the same disdain and contempt for this man as Triclops felt coming from the Kommandant. It was a simple sentence, and Triclops could think of nothing else to say, so he repeated it, over and over, turning to stand and face the Kommandant, who suddenly did not seem quite so menacing, or even powerful as before. Actually, as Triclops stood over him, glaring with a strange breed of loathing in his voice, the Kommandant seemed to change from the great arrogant hunter to a timid little mouse, backing away into a corner.

Until the whip connected with Triclops shoulder and then the butt of it came down on his skull, sending him into a world of blackness.

* * *

"And that is what happened." Triclops concluded, even as Kendalina stared at him with incredulity. Whether she was incredulous because she didn't believe Triclops was telling the truth, or because she was shocked he actually DID what he'd done, Triclops couldn't decide.

Kendalina didn't say anything for a long moment, before she finally broke her gaze. Triclops had been speaking softly, softly enough that Kendalina could hear, but he sincerely doubted that the holocam's sound recorder could have picked up on it, unless it was very, very, VERY well tuned. And even then.

Kendalina knew that the Kommandant had been spying on them, so, today, she was remaining strictly professional. On one hand, Triclops' selfless side, purely concerned for Kendalina's survival was greatly relieved, but the clingy, egocentric child in him was crying out to be held and touched and cared for just like nothing was wrong.

_Triclops, you ass._ Triclops blinked and cast a look in Kendalina's direction, even as she had her back turned to him. He knew it was her voice he'd just heard, but why she'd gone with THAT insult... _You almost got the shit kicked out of you- not only that, but you deliberately provoked him. Now, if I slip up even once, they'll have my head, or at least assign me to a different barracks. Not only that, but you let him win. I thought you were determined and shit that you weren't going to be beaten at this "Game"._

Triclops took the lecture, silently. It was a new kind of comfort that Kendalina could touch his mind and speak to him directly like this. Even moreso that she cared enough to be worried like this, even if she was still swearing like a smuggler and being so harsh.

_"I will take everything away from you."_

_And think about how I panicked when I was called in to treat your injuries- you were bleeding like hell and there was this big ass lump on your head and all these bloody scars all over your back... I thought you were gonna fucking die... _Triclops didn't flinch, but only because he was so tired to even work up the energy to do more than blink.

_"Especially that woman you cherish so much... They all will be mine."_

Triclops closed his eyes and tried to breathe a little more calmly than before. It was a difficult task, mostly because he had two voices going through his head, both of them somehow accidentally reinforcing each other. At least Viro wasn't making any snide remarks.

_And then, if you please, they tell me to "Fix it" and I had to do all this surgery with them in the room, so I couldn't even use the Force to heal you, and all the time, I was worried that you weren't gonna pull through, but had to be perfectly emotionless about it- I couldn't even be ANGRY about "Losing a test subject"- and at the same time having to keep cool because if YOU died, I'd be held responsible and they'd kill me, too. _Triclops didn't know if Kendalina thought the lecture was helping, but it certainly wasn't. If nothing else, it was making his own inner monologue harder to ignore.

'Oh, that's going too far.' Triclops heard Viro's voice finally put in and this time willingly stepped down and let his other face take over.

The first indication Kendalina had that it wasn't Triclops in the room with her anymore was the snap of restraints from the table accompanied by the sound of someone sitting up. The second was the sound of something in the corner of the ceiling exploding. Kendalina swiveled around quickly to see Viro in Triclops' body sitting up on the examination table and the remains of the security holocam in the corner smoldering. While neither of these two occurrences startled her, she was quite surprised to see Viro glaring at her.

"You can shut up with your lecture right, fucking now." Viro hissed in a menacing voice.

Kendalina blinked for a moment. She was used to Viro being meaner, cruder, and looser than Triclops, but she'd never heard him swear at HER, before.

He must REALLY be pissed.

"Girl, I don't care what you thought was going to happen- the point now is that it DIDN'T. The Boy's alive, thanks to YOUR superior 'Mad skillz', so quit lecturing him about how you thought he was gonna die." Kendalina scowled, but continued to watch Viro with increasing suspicion, as he stopped but still seemed to give the impression he had something else to say.

"Okay, so what're you REALLY upset about?" Kendalina finally demanded, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. Viro's glare didn't waver.

"The reason he got himself beaten was because of YOU." Almost instantly, Kendalina's air of false arrogance seemed to drop, her heart plummeting into her stomach with an aching kind of splash, "So, you can be as stuck up as you want, but the fact remains that he was sticking up for you and that's the reason he almost got himself killed- this Boy CARES about you, so stop chewing him out for it."

Kendalina didn't respond- she merely continued to stare. It was bad enough the accusation, but coming from Triclops' lips... Kendalina had never really stopped to consider who held her responsible for what. When she had deliberately done things with her own two hands, of course there was credit and blame, but what about the times when her mere presence had effected the situation?

And all those times that it had?

Not that Kendalina would ever ADMIT to anything- everytime someone blamed her for something, she responded in her own, maladjusted way, by lashing back out at them or with bluster and insults. Now, however, that was clearly not an option, because it was Triclops and she COULDN'T brush him off in this situation- they were both stuck in this place for the long haul, and she was going to need Triclops just as much as he was going to need her.

Even as so much of their relationship rested on Triclops being able to overlook Kendalina's personality flaws, if they were going to survive this mess, she was going to have to either confront or otherwise deal with her baggage.

"That's enough, Viro." Triclops' voice had changed again, the real Triclops back to the surface, having stood up and strode over to Kendalina where she stood, against the wall. Kendalina didn't even realize he'd moved, until she blinked at the chest she was staring at and craned her neck up to stare into Triclops' face.

It was strange, but despite her fierceness and big attitude, Kendalina had always known she was particularly short. Even now, she was just a little under 140 centimeters, compared to Triclops' 203. But while she'd always been sensitive about cracks aimed at her height, it had never bothered that Triclops towered over her like this.

Until she found herself in his shadow.

"Kenda, that is not the truth... perhaps you might have been a motivation behind what I did, but you are not to blame." He read her like a book. It was a mark of how long they'd been together, combined with how close they were, and Kendalina couldn't feel anything less than the utmost of relief at Triclops' words. Even though she refused to melt like a cheap doll, there was still a pang inside her chest that battled against her guilt complex, making her whole thoracic cavity ache.

Not that she let any of it show, except to remain as stoic as she possibly could.

"Trike... what happened in that room?" Kendalina finally asked, keeping her voice incredibly level given the circumstances. When Triclops merely blinked at her, she pressed, "What exactly happened with the Kommandant? What did he do, what did he say, what did you do, what did you say? I want to know everything in detail."

Triclops stared down at her, silently for a moment, before he looked away. Kendalina's hand shot up and forced Triclops to turn back to her.

"Tell me." She said, quietly, before her voice cracked and she mumbled the one word that had disappeared from her vocabulary with age, at least when used sincerely, "Please."

It seemed as though a wall had crumbled, because Triclops relented.

"That man... the Kommandant... has been listening to our discussions... he heard about... the Emperor... and... other matters... and he began to swear that he... he vowed he would take those things from me..." Triclops explained, slowly, head lowered slightly. Kendalina gave him a slight push on the chest, forcing him backwards, towards the table again, and urging him to sit down. Triclops did so without too much coaxing, even putting his arms around Kendalina's waist as she climbed onto his lap and straddled him.

"...I did not really care that he swore he would impersonate me... or, 'Take my heritage', as he put it... but then... he said... that he would take YOU from me... and..." Kendalina stiffened, listening closely to what would come next, "...I got angry... because... well, I never thought of you as something... that I HAD... just... more as a person who was always with me... and he was acting as though you were... just a thing... it made me angry..." Kendalina relaxed a little, but frowned for a moment, before it occurred to her precisely what Triclops had done in this situation.

"...And you stuck up for me?" She asked quietly. Triclops lowered his head to rest on her shoulder, nodding a little as he did so.

"...He called you ugly." Triclops finally spat out. This, Kendalina wasn't too surprised, nor too upset about- she'd been called many unsavory things regarding her appearance, ugly being the least of them. Besides, it was something she could react to a bit more comfortably.

"He's just jealous that we'd both be sexier than him, even if we were dead." Kendalina sneered, resting her elbows on Triclops' shoulders, even as she felt him shudder with a suppressed snicker. One of her fingers trailed the line of his spine, ignoring the raised welts of scars and moving in a circle, caressing the bare skin beneath his shirt in a tender gesture compared to the sadistic kiss of the whip, but still that rough, brusque manner that was always her own, unique way of doing things.

"Now, it is your turn." Triclops said, lifting his head and looking Kendalina in the eye. Kendalina blinked for a moment, before he whispered, "Please... tell me why... the subject of children makes you so skittish." Kendalina's eyes widened, then narrowed again as she tried to look anywhere but Triclops' face. Carefully, Triclops lifted his hand and used a single finger to coax her chin back in his direction.

"...I'll be a horrible mother." Kendalina finally whispered. Triclops cocked his head, confused, trying to ponder where Kendalina had gotten this notion.

"...But you were always so good with the younglings..." Triclops protested, faintly. Kendalina hung her head.

"Yeah, but they weren't MY kids..." She muttered, bitterly. Triclops frowned again, then shrugged a little.

"...Kenda..." He said, quietly, "...I do not know why you think you would be a bad mother... but, please listen to me before you say anything." Kendalina didn't look up, even when Triclops cupped one of her upper arms with his enormous hands, "...I know you... just the same way you know me and Master Retaw... and I am very sure that you would not let any harm come to your child- you are the kind of person who would protect anyone important to you... and if you ever did become a mother, that child would become more important to you than anything, and you would care for that child and protect that child like you would your own life... So, please... do not say you would be horrible... when you do not even know for sure."

Kendalina's head lifted as she outright stared at Triclops, before a smile made it's way across her face, and she pushed his head down a little to press a kiss to his forehead.

"Thanks, Trike." She whispered, "I feel better, now..."

* * *

A.N: Just a warning and note before the next scene proceeds.

Fun trivia: Kendalina's precise height is the shortest recorded of adult Human characters, at 137 centimeters (A little less than 4 ½ feet) and Triclops' height will be the tallest by the end of the story, topping out at 248 centimeters (A little over 8 feet).

Now the warning- this next scene has sex. Not explicit, but sex, just the same. You have been warned.

* * *

The wounds on Triclops' back healed slowly, made worse by the fact that the Kommandant had made it into a schedule to beat him like this every day. At the end of the day, Kendalina would disinfect the wounds, bandage him, and act like there was no attachment as long as the holocam was active, all the while using the Force to whisper things into his mind like 'At least the scars don't damage any muscle' or 'Look on the bright side- even if you DO end up looking like a rag doll that's been torn apart and stitched together too many times, you'll still have ME, and I'll still think you're the coolest, sexiest man alive.'

It was incredibly helpful that Kendalina had a few scars of her own- Triclops knew from living with her for several years that Kendalina was dead clumsy when she wasn't running from authorities or performing delicate surgery, which had resulted in her burning herself on hot pans or cutting herself on broken glass more times than enough. Then, there were more that Kendalina had told him of- during her fight against Darth Vader, Kendalina had sustained an injury that was undoubtedly still visible.

For the most part, however, Triclops was mostly unaware of his surroundings, nor did he particularly care, until something unusual happened one night.

The room was dark, so dark that Triclops couldn't see his own hand if it was waving at him, but the noise of the door opening was enough for Triclops to sit up on instinct, wondering what it was that he'd heard. The replaced holocam in the corner continued to beep as it remained active, the muffled sound of footsteps coming closer towards the table making Triclops' hair stand up on end, before he recognized the strange slapping of bare feet.

The table creaked and bent that littlest bit again as Kendalina sat down on the edge.

"Trike? You awake?" She was talking to him, too, of all things. Didn't Kendalina have more sense than to talk when the recorder was on in the room? And Triclops was fairly sure that the holocam had ultraviolet and infrared receptors, as well. And even if she'd tampered with the holocam, there were still guards outside the door. Was she out of her mind?

Triclops remained still, until Kendalina pinched him a little on his uninjured bicep.

"I know you're awake, you big faker." She said, finally. Knowing that there was no hope for it now, Triclops sat up and swiveled around to face her with mounting incredulity, or at least he thought he did- the room was still pitch black, except for the tiniest of lights from the security cam in the corner that didn't really light up the darkness, unless you were right up next to it.

"Kenda, what are you...?" Triclops hissed, before Kendalina made a disgusted noise that shut him up.

"I'm VISITING- isn't that obvious?" She answered in a normal voice that the guards should have heard. Triclops automatically looked in what he was sure was the direction of the door, but heard nothing. Kendalina must have seen it, because she snickered.

"Relax- nobody's gonna come in an' bust us." She said, still loudly. There was a click and a small, blue-hued glowstick gleamed in the darkness enough that Triclops could see Kendalina's face. She was smiling, quietly but perfectly confident. Triclops frowned, before Kendalina explained, "The guards outside the door are asleep- I just made sure they were standing up as they did it. Seriously, the armor and helmets they wear are so bad that one guy could have a heart attack and as long as he stayed standing upright, nobody would notice- it's really dumb."

Triclops continued frowning.

"What about the holocam?" He asked, desperately. Kendalina shrugged.

"Stole footage from the last few nights or so of you sleeping, made them into a loop and fed it to the computers- that's all they're showin' now, and the holocam's on 'Rest' mode, technically still on, but not recording anything to 'conserve battery energy'. And, before you ask, I made a doppelganger out of a pile of dirt and it's sleeping in my bunk, so if the guards decide to do a spot check to be sure everyone's where they should be, it'll look and act like me. Then, just to be sure, I've got an illusion around the room, so if a third guard comes around and checks in, he won't see or hear anything." Triclops stared at the half of Kendalina's face that was lit up by the blue light of the glow stick, "So, we're safe. Don't worry."

Triclops relaxed, even as Kendalina smirked. After a moment of hesitance, Triclops lifted a hand to touch Kendalina's face, silently asking if she minded. Kendalina lifted her own hand and her fingertips caressed the back of the hand on her cheek. With no more hesitance, Triclops leaned forward and rested his lower face against her collarbone, which seemed to amuse Kendalina a great deal- he could feel her muscles move as her face twitched into a grin and her chest vibrate as she chuckled.

"Why are you really here, Kenda?" Triclops finally asked. Kendalina's chuckling ceased, which only made Triclops more wary. Finally, he looked up to see the litten half of Kendalina's face solemn and contemplating, as though she were making a life-changing decision during her debate to explain why she'd come to see him.

In hindsight, Triclops would understand that she was indeed making that decision.

"Trike... we've talked about it a bit in the past... pretty recently too... and so it just made me wonder..." Triclops blinked at her, mostly at a loss for words, before Kendalina continued, "...Triclops... is it really that important to you... to have kids?" Triclops pulled back, even as Kendalina's eyes remained on him, scrutinizing for any hint in his face towards one answer or another. There was a moment where the two of them seemed to be frozen where they were, as Triclops could do nothing but stare and blink at her, but finally, he frowned.

"...Kendalina... why are you asking this?" He asked, wondering if he dare hope that she was truly offering... Kendalina's eyes misted over a little, before she leaned in and whispered into his ear,

"...Because... I need to know how important it is to you..." She explained. Her voice wasn't as firm as it normally was, but it wasn't shaking, either. It was more a kind of tremble that came from her voice being so abnormally soft that it was hard to hold the right pitch, but either way, made Triclops incredibly uncomfortable, "...If... if you really, truly, seriously wanted to have children, now would be the only chance we would have... and I'd only be able to make that kind of commitment if you were committed, too."

Perhaps it was Kendalina's use of the word "Commitment," but Triclops felt something in his chest pound against his ribs very painfully, almost to the point he didn't want to answer her, at least not honestly. Another moment, the two of them frozen in their places, that seemed to last forever.

"Tell me, Triclops... and tell me, truthfully... is having children important to you?" Kendalina asked again, almost as much for her benefit as his own.

Triclops moved slowly to cover one of her hands with one of his.

"...It is." He finally replied, giving her hand a small squeeze. Kendalina's hand pulled away, a little bit, making Triclops wonder what he'd said wrong, until he felt her fingers lacing with his and squeezing back.

When she spoke next, he could hear her voice smiling, even with his eyes closed.

"Would you mind twins?" She asked, in that usual voice of hers that Triclops knew was just jesting, even as he frowned in confusion, "Because the House of Zuka and all their descendants have had this odd genetic quirk of never having single children, for some reason- they're all born in pairs of twins or triplets, unless the parents interfere."

Triclops felt his lips twitch into a smile, eyes lighting up with warmth at the suggestion.

"Just as long as they can survive and be healthy, I wouldn't care if they were joined at the hip and had three eyes, each." Kendalina snickered as he suggested it, before she leaned forward again and kissed him full on the mouth, arms going around his neck as she did so. Without even hesitating, Triclops kissed back, his own hands resting on the small of her back as Kendalina straddled him and pushed him back down. He felt one of her hands lift to comb through his hair in an unusual- but not unheard of- gesture of affection. Somehow, she'd only ever combed his hair during especially difficult times- when they'd had difficulties growing up in the Temple, when Master Yaddle had died, the night after the Baron had come, every time Triclops had cried in her stead for the years they were at the medcenter... He wondered if it was something she did when she though he needed comfort, for her own comfort, or if it was just her way of being tender.

None of these ideas sounded entirely dubious, it could have been any or all of them at once. In any case, Triclops felt every muscle in his body go lax as tension ran out of him like water under her fingertips. His own hands ran up and down Kendalina's sides, fingers feeling out the hardness of her body underneath her shirt. One of his hands paused, cupping Kendalina's ribs for just a moment and feeling the diaphragm underneath expand and contract as she breathed.

Kendalina's lips left his for a breath as her unoccupied hand ran down the cloth that made up his shirt, almost tantalizingly with just that thin sheet between her fingers and his chest, before Triclops felt her push one half to the side. His eyes remained closed, and he could tell, somehow, that hers were, too. In a seemingly careless move, Triclops felt Kendalina's torso wriggle away from his hands, before the rustle of cloth told him she was trying to get out of her own shirt. Eyes still shut, he pulled her down, just a little, sitting up to meet her halfway as one of his hands wandered up and slid under the collar to feel the bare skin of Kendalina's shoulder.

With a shiver, Triclops felt the same shoulder of his own chest bared to the cool air, even as his hand repeated the motion. Slowly, Triclops reached back up and kissed Kendalina's lips again in such a simple, innocent manner that it might have been considered chaste if they weren't just about to...

Triclops felt his hands shake as he realized his old childhood fear of Kendalina having children, either because of choice or force, with a complete stranger, was being torn down completely in this moment. There was no more doubt, no more separation, no more chance of someone coming between them. Kendalina had been the one to start the whole encounter, just by coming into the room, and now, being so forward... It almost made Triclops' head swim to think that she really, truly wanted this as much as he did.

Their lips parted again and Triclops opened his eyes to see, in the bluish light of Kendalina's glow stick, that her whole shirt had come undone and was hanging loosely at her elbows, the same being true for his own shirt as he felt a shiver go up his spine.

Kendalina was smiling, but not a large grin, nor a small, teasing smirk. It was as though she had simply mellowed, just for the occasion. Or, perhaps, she was just saving her energy for...

But no, she continued to stare and smile, as though the moment in time had been frozen again, before Triclops ran a hand over her cheek, fingertips tracing her ear as they laced into her short hair. It was only after a long moment that Kendalina moved, and then, it was to chuckle, deep in her chest and confusing Triclops.

"Kiss for your thoughts?" Kendalina asked as she lay back down. Triclops smiled, carefully, hands resting on her back again as Kendalina propped herself up with her elbows on either side of his shoulders, the heavy weight of her breasts still pressed against his chest, "I know you're s'posed to offer a credit, but since we don't have money here..."

One of Triclops' hands squeezed Kendalina's shirt as he smiled, somehow marveling at her ability to joke at such a moment, and still keep it from ruining the mood.

"I was... remembering." He confided. Kendalina cocked her head to one side, as though to ask "What about?" before Triclops extrapolated, "...The first time I realized... you were more important to me than just a friend." Kendalina rolled her eyes, but kept smiling, in that gesture that Triclops knew meant she was just humoring him as he continued, "...It was... when I'd first asked you... if you would ever have children... and then, after you did not quite answer, I imagined you with a complete stranger... and felt so lonely, just imagining it..."

Kendalina's face was pensive as he spoke, before she leaned down and kissed his eyelids as he closed them, before speaking, herself.

"D'you wanna know when that first was for me?" She asked and even as Triclops smiled, she continued, "It was right as the old man came... not after the whole mess with him attacking you, but just before... as I was trying to 'Make you presentable'... and I realized... how much I was going to miss you... even if you WERE going with someone who was supposed to be your father." Triclops' eyes reopened, but the smile had vanished. The words had been sweet and the meaning behind them just the same, but they somehow had a strange effect as Triclops realized how, essentially, Kendalina had known for so many years before he had come to his realization.

"Kenda..." Triclops whispered, but Kendalina just kissed him again.

It was strange, but they'd had sex before, as teenagers, but it had been all sex, then. Just the pleasure, the sensation, maybe some of their bond... but when all was said and done, all either of them had really wanted was the steamy amour of a mate.

Now, however... Triclops felt awkward, clumsy, and overly exposed as he lay naked under Kendalina's hands and body. It was as though he was a shy virgin boy compared to Kendalina's experienced fingertips, even as her fingers traced familiar paths on his skin. In a moment of feeling incredible loneliness, Triclops reached up put his arms around Kendalina's strong shoulders, and kissed back with desperate need. Kendalina didn't pull away or even try to lessen the intensity, but moved her hands back up to his hair, soothing his fear. As her arm moved Triclops saw, in the faint light, a code of numbers embedded on her forearm.

She'd been branded, too. Anger battled with a strange sense of contentment in his chest, before Triclops lifted his own arm, mirror image to her and linked their hands, his own branded number on the inside of his forearm pressing against hers in a strange kiss of their limbs. Their lips parted and Kendalina's mouth moved everywhere over his face, his scarred temples, his pitted forehead, his crooked tip of a nose, his sunken cheeks, all the way down to his neck, awakening something in him that he remembered, faintly, from many years ago. Part of it was arousal, he was sure, but there was a new quality to it, a new flavor of this particular brand of lust, like honey and cream being added to the spicy drink they were drinking in, before Triclops extended his neck and kissed her back wherever he could reach.

It was over her shoulder that Triclops discovered the injury she'd received in her fight with Vader- a long, jagged scar that wove over her skin and bones as from the slash of a saber blade. It was strange the difference in them- Triclops' scars were embedded into his skin, like riverbeds and canyons on the map of his body. Kendalina's scars, however, were ridges that rose in bumps like mountain ranges, unashamed and proud.

What did he EVER do to deserve being with this incredible woman?

Triclops' mouth wandered over the line on Kendalina's flesh, even as her own tongue and fingers caressed every centimeter of his skin, leaving him trembling and glowing with their shared heat. It was as though Kendalina had melted into him and was crawling around under his skin, wrapping his whole essence up in herself.

Vaguely he wondered, as they joined together, if Kendalina was feeling the same thing. The two of them shuddered as Triclops felt himself completely enveloped by Kendalina as she wrapped herself around him. There was a pause as they both caught their breath, before Triclops felt Kendalina rock, just a little, shooting fire through his veins as he moved with her in a sensual, silent dance. Her hands were still everywhere at once, but only her fingertips were clinging to his shoulders, and Triclops was only vaguely aware of someone whispering something that sounded like his name. He was even less aware that his lips were moving to shape Kendalina's name, even as his hands clung to a point on her legs that, under his fingers, he could feel raised scars where someone- probably Kendalina herself- had carved the words "No. One Jedi" on one leg and "Princess" on the other.

Suddenly, all the heat of the moment seemed to vanish, leaving a chill that ran through both of them like with a violent shiver, until it all returned and the ardor both dissipated and heightened all at once as Kendalina's elbows slid out from under her and dropped all of her weight onto Triclops' breast where they lay, tangled together, gasping for breath.

"Whew..." Were Kendalina's first words as she finally managed to sit up. Triclops' eyes were shut, his own energy sapped from him, but something in it's place that he could never recall feeling before- like someone had reached into his chest with a threaded needle, run it through his heart, and pulled it back out to run through Kendalina's. He could feel her own heart beating, not necessarily synchronized with his, but still felt it, almost as though their circulatory works were intertwined and two hearts in one body. Triclops breathed in, then slowly breathed out, before one of his hands ran up Kendalina's back.

"Kenda... why tonight?" He asked, quietly. He felt Kendalina chuckle against his breastbone, before she sat up and his eyes opened to look up at her.

"...This is the only way that we'd be allowed to have a child... any other night, and none of us would have been allowed to survive." Kendalina explained, even as Triclops frowned and Kendalina sighed, "...The Kommandant cornered me."

Oh.

"You mean..."

"In the shower." Kendalina nodded. Triclops stared for a moment, before Kendalina smiled, "For me to get pregnant now, he'll only assume that it's HIS baby I'm carrying. It'll go unquestioned. Any other way, we'd all be shot." This, Triclops knew was true, but Kendalina's consolatory words that had comforted him after his encounter with the Emperor came back, bubbling in Triclops' brain until he wanted to laugh at how, even when Kendalina herself had been forced the same way, she could use it to her advantage.

Just a medium of control.

"Is that all?" Kendalina asked, quietly, "I need to leave before I fall asleep and we get caught." Triclops sat up a little, one hand still on her back.

"One last thing..." He promised, "...How can you be sure... that this child will not be his?"

Kendalina blinked at him, owlishly, before she grinned, leaned forward, and kissed him firmly on the lips.

"Who do you think you're talking to?" She said, shrewdly, "I'm the Greatest Jedi That Ever Lived, remember?"

A/N: O-KAY!

Um... Biology lesson 101: Making a baby. Man and Woman knock, Man releases sperm, sperm swim through the tubes to meet egg, one sperm fertilizes egg. Each sperm is half the DNA to make a baby, the egg is the other half. Essentially, Kendalina means she can use the Force to control which sperm reaches the egg. So, the Kommandant's sperm ain't gettin' past the bouncer, while Triclops' sperm have Year-round passes.

Lovely.


	30. Part IV: Chapter 6

By: Sapadu

Chapter 6: Rearing

rear 2 (rîr)  
v. reared, rear·ing, rears

v. _tr._

1. To care for (children or a child) during the early stages of life; bring up.

2. To lift upright; raise.

3. To build; erect.

4. To tend (growing plants or animals).

v. _intr._

5. To rise on the hind legs, as a horse.

6. To rise high in the air; tower.

Kendalina had a few weeks before the pregnancy began to show itself. For the longest time, nobody knew, not even the Kommandant. Not even Medic- and she had a tendency to be pretty sharp about this kind of stuff. Of course, she could have noticed and just chosen not to say anything for some reason. Kendalina couldn't imagine why, since neither of them had ever been very big on tact. If Medic WAS deliberately avoiding the topic, Kendalina knew it was bad, the reason she was keeping silent.

Her one night with Triclops, however, had cost her something- all the next day, Kendalina had felt more like the walking dead than alive. And the day after that. And the day after that. In fact, she was still not quite up to par as the first trimester neared it's end. Control over a doppleganger, a sleeping hypnosis, illusions, and mechanical manipulation all at once. And the fact that she and Trike had... well... yeah.

In any case, Kendalina was still completely beat. Sleeping hadn't allowed her to recover, and the food they ate was mostly carbohydrates, so she felt even more tired after eating. Currently, Kendalina was doing her best not to nod off over a chart of some weird epidemic in the barracks of the stormtroopers. It wasn't like she really was concerned- their soldiers could all have strokes for all she cared- but this was part of her job.

A hand placed itself on the growing lump on her abdomen from behind, almost making Kendalina jump about a meter in the air.

"What's this? I wasn't aware that nutrient paste had enough fat content to build up like this..." Oh GOD, Kendalina hated the Kommandant's voice. It was gravely and grating on the ears and he sounded almost like he had something stuck in his throat and was hacking out words around it. It was something that made it easier for Kendalina to detest him, but she knew she had to put up an act- she had to hate him even more than usual, now.

After all he "had gotten her knocked up like this". By which, Kendalina internally meant he "had given her and Triclops a chance to have unguarded sex and the resulting pregnancy could now be pinned on the Kommandant to blame."

"Go to Hell." She snapped, squirming against the Kommandant's grip. It only tightened on her, even as she snarled.

"So, it would seem that it wasn't a total loss- if you'd turned out to be sterile, I would have been most disappointed." Bastard. He was making it very easy for Kendalina to be aggressive towards him. Of course, there was also the problem that the room was empty except for the two of them. While this didn't worry Kendalina- not about herself at least- she was getting concerned that, if she mouthed off and he got violent, there was the baby to worry about...

...Baby... she'd just called it a baby, instead of a fetus, since that was what it was, really. With a nasty jolt, Kendalina realized that, while this cluster of cells in her womb wasn't living, not just yet, she was beginning to think in terms of long-term results instead of the immediate future and coming to be.

There were still months to go before the fetus would even be fully developed. And even in the third trimester, just because a heart would be fully developed and beating independent of hers, she would still have to be perfectly healthy or the fetus would suffer- if she breathed in any fumes or chemicals during that time, the second heart would stop beating for any matter of seconds, if she didn't eat properly, the little one would lose valuable nutrients that effected its development, if she got sick, the unborn would also take the disease, and not even have a proper immune system to fight it.

And then, there was still Triclops to think about. Kendalina wouldn't particularly be bothered by losing a child, but to Trike, this was so important, as a symbol of their union and as a new, adorable life of its own. The realization she'd come to before they'd even had sex hadn't been enough- Kendalina had realized she'd have to stop being selfish eventually... but this realization suddenly changed that ultimatum. If this embryo developing inside of her was going to make it the next seven months to become a baby, she had to stop being selfish NOW.

And the Kommandant was still groping her.

"I wonder what kind of child it will be... maybe a son. Don't you wish it would be a little boy? After all, it would be such a disappointment if this long wait was all for nothing but a girl..." He still had one hand on Kendalina's stomach, like he fucking owned it or something. But Kendalina didn't care. Boy or girl... oh SHIT! She hadn't thought about that. Sure, she had controlled the cells enough that it had definitely been one of Triclops' to join with hers, and she'd made sure it was one with mostly recessive genes and without a gene for his mutation- a little baby with three green eyes and white hair would have given away the game, so she was fairly confident this baby would look mostly like her- but she hadn't considered what gender it would be. Boy or girl? XX or XY? She couldn't remember which one.

And the meaning of the Kommandant's less-than-subtle threats was not lost on Kendalina. If she had a little girl, then it was over- she was dead and her daughter would be dead, too. It was something she hadn't thought of.

Speaking of thoughtlessness.

"Unless... after a failure, you'd be willing to try again? There's always a second chance when it comes to things like this..." The Kommandant's hand was crawling on her leg, which was enough to alert Kendalina to how much she DESPISED being touched.

"Get your fucking, filthy hands the fuck off of me." She snarled, her free hand grabbing him by the wrist and squeezing as hard as she could. Instead of hearing a crack like she expected, the Kommandant twisted his arm and wrenched his wrist out of her grip. Kendalina froze.

She... she couldn't use her muscles anymore... they were all weaker now. It was probably from dystrophy or something, but either way...

"You're not in any position to be ordering me around." The Kommandant reminded her, hand going right back to where it had been. Kendalina's hand clenched around her stylus.

"I have something sharp and pointy in my hand and you have three eyes." Kendalina hissed, "I suggest you move your hand." The Kommandant snorted, just a little, but his hand did, indeed, move.

"And I was about to suggest, since this is such a volatile time for the child, that you should have some better accommodations. Food, relatively easy work, personal quarters... My, but if you're THAT insistent about it, I suppose you can get along just fine. I do hope the baby won't be harmed by it." Bastard bastard bastard bastard bastard... Kendalina clenched her teeth, wishing that she could beat the hell out of this man the way she was accustomed to doing with anyone who overstepped the bounds or otherwise was being an asshole.

But she couldn't, so she grit her teeth and tried to remain civil, knowing she was bargaining.

"Were you really going to offer it, or just dangle it over my nose and see if I'd suddenly start licking your boots to get it?" She asked, not looking back at the face of doom she knew the Kommandant was wearing.

"Of course not- if I was going to offer something like that, I'd want you licking something else." Oh, now they were down to innuendo and sexual harassment. Better and better.

"I doubt that would be conducive to the nourishment of YOUR baby, SIR." Kendalina finally snapped, using her medical knowledge to use, in addition to the fact that the Kommandant was an utter idiot when medicine and anatomy was involved, "Ingesting semen can even be fatal for a fetus." Not the real truth, but he sure seemed to buy it.

"I think some sexual education teachers would have mentioned that when trying to keep all of my overly mature classmates from mating- it certainly would have been an effective tool in their 'Abstinence only' mantra." Or not. Of course, the lobe of Kendalina's brain that was devoted to smartass answers and witty back talk was already kicking into second gear.

"Abstinence only teachers aren't about to tell kids about 'Deviant sexual practices' and possibly 'Give them ideas'. They want to keep them 'Pure'. And, in any case, if the people who talked to your parents had put in a word about protection, they obviously wouldn't have had THEIR mistake." Kendalina knew she'd touched a nerve this time, because she felt and heard the Kommandant raise his arm to strike her. She dodged it, but her body was sluggish compared to usual. Instead of moving swiftly out of the way and into position to kick his ass the proper way, Kendalina only just barely dodged. Her muscles felt tense and heavy, like she was dragging them by very, very thin threads, and from...

Kendalina froze, eyes widening, as she realized that the reason her reflexes were slowing down was because her vision of the room was growing dimmer and dimmer. The Force-Sight she'd relied on all her life was... fading. And it wasn't like on Myrkr, when it had simply disappeared, but she was only very gradually losing sight in her mind's eye, while her muscles were suddenly completely under HER control, instead of being moved through the use of the Force.

It was very, very fortunate for her that the Kommandant didn't try to strike her again, instead smirking, as her panic had obviously shown through to her face.

"In any case... you will find yourself in new quarters from this day on... It would be terribly inconvenient if any... accidents... occurred in the barracks." The Kommandant left the room, or at least she thought so, because she heard the door click shut behind him. But she remained frozen against the wall for a very long time.

* * *

New quarters, Kendalina realized, meant a room that might as well have been a closet with a bed inside. The conditions were sanitary- the Kommandant, bastard though he was, was certainly making a point that he wanted "His child" to be healthy and if that meant the mother, whom he despised, had to be kept in a healthy environment, she would have nothing less than THE healthiest- and actually somewhat comfortable for a prison. Vaguely, Kendalina wondered if she would be able to take advantage of it- if only for her own amusement and sadistic pleasure at watching the Kommandant bend over backwards for the sake of a child that wasn't even his.

The idea was casually shot down by the fact that the Kommandant would eventually figure out he was being played for a sucker. Worse, he might even figure out that there was something else afoot, possibly even leading to the revelation that some other man was the father, at which point Kendalina, Triclops, and the baby would be officially screwed.

Her meal was still nutrient paste, but Kendalina could tell there was something different about it. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, until she first bite passed her lips- the utensils. They were still cheap, but they were sanitary and most definitely not lead. No lead poisoning, and no chance of contamination. There was even a cup with clean water in it. And five-hundred milliliters, too. She was even thirstier after she drank it, but that wasn't the issue- she was hydrated, that was what mattered.

Kendalina set about concentrating on herself, surveying her condition and realizing a few very important facts almost immediately.

One: She was unusually tired and weak.

Two: She was feeling incredibly sick.

Three: She could not use the Force. At all. Even her sight had gone.

Four: All other methods of manipulation of the world aside from the Force were still available to her, but on a very, very limited basis. Kendalina focused on the several different energies she'd studied- Mana, chakra, ka, chi, numina, seid, and so forth- and, despite being pleased that she could still feel them circulating and connected to her conscious mind, they did not respond to her quite the same way they had before.

She could focus her seid to her eyes and it gave her enough control of her vision, but it was restricted to a similar manner that, if she hadn't been born blind, she would have only been able to see as far as her eyes allowed her to.

She could force her chakra to gather and release in specific points in her muscular system that she could still exert the same physical strength she'd built up, but simply using it a few times made her aware of how draining it was, not to mention how her hands felt like they were on fire after just a few minutes.

She could use her ka enough to replicate the basic telekinetics of Jedi lore, but the minute she did something more complex than attempt to levitate a glass or move a plate on a table, her control of her other abilities faded and the specific control of her attempted telekinesis would become harder to maintain- almost like the higher she tried to lift a heavy box over her head, the harder it was to keep it level.

A wave of nausea hit Kendalina with a force that she was wholly unused to, before she doubled over and tried to find something to catch it in. Her empty plate was the closest spot.

Kendalina lay awake that night, shaking and trembling with the feeling of being sick, before she drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

* * *

_A baby boy. It was a healthy baby boy that Kendalina cradled in her arms, thankful that he was alive and she was alive and nobody was any the wiser that the child was the son of inmate #63696. They were all going to be okay and everything would be fine._

_The boy didn't even cry when he was hungry- his tiny little hand just reached out as though he knew that his mother would provide him with food, which Kendalina quite dutifully did, unbuttoning her blouse and bringing her breast to her son's mouth. Even as he nursed, however, the baby seemed to only grow more agitated, before he finally pulled away, squirming with discomfort before Kendalina tried the other side, only to find the same reaction._

"_No milk is coming from you- you're drier than my thumb is." The baby told her, eyes gazing up in disappointment at his mother as Kendalina tried to find some way to help, "Why is that? Weren't you supposed to be the Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived? Why can't you even feed me?"_

"_Maybe something's wrong with the glands... I'll give you a bottle instead, alright?" Kendalina offered, reaching for it, but finding something else- a hand. The Kommandant was taking her son right out of her arms._

"_But it's not you feeding me then- it's this man. You shouldn't even be a mother if you can't care for me." The baby said, even as the Kommandant moved away._

"_In any case, children belong with their fathers- it's only right. They're the reason the child is what it is. Girl, boy, strong, weak, dark, fair, healthy, sick- all of those things come from the father's genes."_

"_YOU ARE NOT MY SON'S FATHER!" Kendalina shouted, running after them, but the faster she ran, the farther away they got, until their shapes changed._

"_Can you really prove what you say?" Her son was different now, reaching out to her with a wrinkled little hand, brown eyes and large, pointed ears twitched, "Always boastful, were you. Never kept those boasts though, did you? Always saying you were the Greatest, but not even able to protect your own child."_

"_Not even able to protect others who protected you." Master Yoda had split into two now, a second figure just like him staring at Kendalina in disappointment, "Where were you when an apprentice, I needed to save me?" Master Yaddle yielded another shape, "Where were you when the younglings were being slaughtered in the Temple?" Master Windu became another figure, "Where were you when that girl was killed by her own father and died before she ever reached the medcenter?" Medic shifted, and all the figures changed into two new shapes._

"_Because you weren't strong enough, you only hurt the ones who you cared about." The two Sith stared down at her and Kendalina knew they were right because she hadn't been strong enough, hadn't been able to protect the people who needed her, hadn't been able to save Master Yaddle, or keep Master Windu from dying, or stop the destruction of the Temple, or..._

"_You promised me you would make me proud, Kendalina... I trusted you to prove that you were as great as you said, to prove that you were, truly, my student. I raised you ever since the day you were born, and you couldn't even keep that promise you made to me... what an ungrateful apprentice you are, what an undutiful child..." _

_Master Retaw was so disappointed, she could see- not angry, or hurt, but let down and betrayed. Kendalina hadn't been able to save her, either- she'd only returned her to the Temple at the last minute, but only because Master Retaw had been expelled in the first place because she had cared about Kendalina too much, and then, she'd been sent to her death with the destruction of the Order. Even though Kendalina had said so confidently that Master Retaw was still alive, that was impossible- even Master Windu had been killed. If he hadn't survived, who COULD have? Kendalina was just trying to fool herself as she spoke so assuredly._

"_Why could you not protect me? Was I not important enough? After all, it was because I knew you that my own father did this to me- I have been raped and imprisoned and now beaten and experimented on, all because I knew you... Why did you not stop them? Did you not care? Or was it just that you were not strong enough? Why could you not become stronger to save ME, if nobody else?" Triclops whispered in her ear, even as Kendalina covered her face with her hands. It was all so true- he'd been through Hell more than enough, but just because he'd known her for so long, the Emperor used him to lure her in, and now, he might be scheduled to be executed any day now, and he'd had to live through the nightmare of his childhood a second time, too._

"_In the end, you couldn't save anyone." So many different voices, some young, some old, some male, some female, some Human, some Non-Human, and every single one had known her. Their blood was on her hands and there was nothing that could be done._

"_Why, mother?" The baby was before her again, staring up at her with a face that wasn't anything like hers- it was Triclops' face, "Why couldn't you do any of it right? Didn't you love me?" The Kommandant brought a spear down and her son dissolved into a pool of blood that splattered before it melted, splashing onto her face and hands and still exposed, dry, milk-less breasts. Only her baby's lips remained behind, speaking in that lost, betrayed, empty voice._

"_Didn't you love me enough? Why couldn't you be strong enough to protect me? Why didn't you try harder?"_

"_I c-c-couldn't... th-there was n-nothing I could d-do..." Kendalina whispered, voice completely not her own, but her son's voice continued to plow on._

"_Why didn't you stand between me and his spear? You could have blocked it- you could have saved me if he'd killed you instead. But you didn't..."_

"_I..."_

"_It was because you loved your own life more than other people. You didn't even care enough about father to save him, and you didn't care enough about me to save me." Her baby muttered, "You are the worst mother I could have ever had."_

_Kendalina bowed her head into the puddle of blood, screaming, not caring if she drowned._

* * *

Kendalina continued about her duties as though nothing was wrong. Years of working in a field surrounded by powerful men and often having to fight for even her most basic rights had been a good teacher in how to keep a poker face when up against incredible danger and stress. As such, Kendalina adopted her old attitude of "I'm the one who knows more about medicine around here so I'm giving the orders, Goddammit" with relative ease. The fact that her stomach was growing larger also seemed to have some bearing on the various techs, "medics", and guards she interacted with.

True, she was being catcalled, harassed, occasionally groped, and overall looked at in a much more sexual sense than anyone except Triclops had ever seen her before, but Kendalina was prepared for that. As a great deal of arousal rested on what was commonly known as "Beauty", Kendalina was very well assured she had a number of very castrating traits when a guard whistled at her in the hall or a particularly daring tech tried to see if she was really as soft as she looked- years of living in a male dominated society had taught her that pretty women were usually really weak and had face shapes that were not at all like hers. Not that she cared, but she knew that she was neither weak nor feminine looking.

Of course, pregnancy tired her out more than she thought possible, but she took thorough advantage of the moments when advances were publicly made to show off her strength. One "medic" wound up with several broken bones, one of which was a rib that punctured a lung and a part of his cranium that almost left him deaf, as a result of learning the hard way that Kendalina was, contrary to belief, not a member of the "Touch a Tit Charity Foundation". Kendalina's index finger suffered a large bruise and it throbbed for a day afterward from all the times she'd built her chakra up inside it and then flicked it against his body, but as almost all of the rest of the staff of the "Medcenter" had been witness to the occasion, Kendalina was granted peace of mind for many, many weeks afterwards.

Medic seemed unusually supportive, compared to usual, but as Kendalina never got a chance to speak with her alone, Kendalina never found out for sure. It was little things that tipped her off- needles already sterilized when Kendalina had to use them on prisoners, the needles used for the guards and stormtroopers already doused in salt water, the needles for when the Kommandant would try something cute by making Kendalina examine him already soaked in iodine...

It was also comforting that Kendalina knew she wasn't alone in her hatred of the Kommandant.

The day finally came that the Kommandant gave Kendalina a real assignment, compared to the doc work he'd mostly allowed her to rest with. Quite frankly, Kendalina wondered if he was simply trying to keep her docile or was just incredibly stupid with how he kept giving her easy work. On one hand, he could just be working under the delusion that not allowing her to exercise would keep her from "stress" which could harm the baby, but on the other hand, he could also know that if she didn't get a chance to use her muscles, they'd dystrophy and she'd be utterly pathetic.

Either way, she was looking forward to "Real Work". It was thus that she was torn between being bitterly disappointed, relieved, and cautious when she entered the room and saw Triclops laying on the examination table with a number of new wounds.

With a nasty jolt, Kendalina realized that she hadn't seen Triclops since they'd had sex four months ago. He had not yet seen her pregnant, and there was no hiding it at this point.

_I will take everything away from you. Including that woman you cherish so much._

The Kommandant really believed he was the father of the developing creature in Kendalina's womb. And he even further believed that he had successfully taken Kendalina away from Triclops- now, all this was for was to show it off and taunt them both with the fact they were separated forever.

The Kommandant was trying to do all this, not realizing he was doing just the opposite.

That didn't make it any easier to face the fact that Kendalina had no clue how she was supposed to actually communicate with Triclops. Being close enough to treat his injuries and still not be allowed to communicate with him was about the worst torture she would have ever thought up- even if it was unintentional, the Kommandant had done a damn fine job of essentially screwing them over.

Triclops was still awake as Kendalina swabbed his wounds with disinfectant, but his look was mingled pain and relief. She understood- he probably was wondering why she wasn't talking to him, as well as flinching at the stinging of the disinfectant, but at the same time, relieved that she was alive and had been right about not getting caught and in no apparent danger. That was even harder to deal with, since she couldn't just TELL him 'I'm okay, but we can't talk because the Kommandant will know he's being had, and by the way, I can't use the Force anymore, so we're screwed.'

This communication barrier was going to be... problematic.

Regardless, however, Kendalina continued her work, finally finishing and having done a relatively fine job of hiding the fact that she'd been upset about the current situation. Part of it was, she was sure, because pregnancy was starting to get to her, especially with hormones involved, but the rest of it was because everyone around her who had any power or control whatsoever was being a ridiculously huge asshole.

However, days went by that the Kommandant had decided it was fun to watch them jump through hoops as they tried to pretend they were caught in his "Brilliant" scheme to drive them apart and Kendalina found herself spending increasing amounts of time treating whip marks on Triclops' back, still tantalizingly out of reach, unable to talk or even send the slightest reassurance that nothing was wrong. Triclops' paranoia complex must have been driving itself into overtime- the first time that she wasn't feeling well, or just didn't have anything to talk about, but these many days in utter and complete silence MUST mean something had gone wrong.

The situation was made worse only a number of days later, when Kendalina met a second nasty surprise as she was preparing to turn in for the night.

A click and swish of the door set Kendalina almost immediately on her feet, only to be met face to face with a man that she could not recognize to save her life. He wasn't young, but he wasn't old, either- somewhere in his thirties, maybe forties. His face was pointed and hairless except for his eyebrows and lashes, skin paler than a full moon, hair blacker than the darkest regions of starless space, and eyes...

Inky black eyes that held something almost like hatred inside them, but somehow darker, fuller, more intense than any hatred Kendalina had ever known.

"And may I ask what pleasantry I owe this visit to a complete stranger?" Kendalina finally asked, knowing she couldn't very well handle this man the way she could the Kommandant. For all she knew, this was one of the crazy guards who, even if the Kommandant would kill him for doing anything that would harm "His child" and its carrier, it wouldn't stop him from doing anything.

"Just a check up. And I was curious." The man replied. His voice was... strikingly familiar- Kendalina had heard it before, long long ago in a place far away... but she couldn't place where. No, that wasn't right... The PRESENCE this man brought was familiar, but nothing about him in particular brought anything to memory.

That, more than anything else, made Kendalina yearn to know who this man was.

"Curious? Curious about what? This your first time seeing a woman since you came out of one?" She asked, sharply. It was something she was going to have to risk- if she didn't at least push a little bit, she wouldn't even see a sample of this man's abilities, and that would leave her in very serious trouble if he ever decided to turn violent. There was something in this man's aura that just radiated power, and more than that, he was aware of and in full control of it.

"No... but it HAS been a while since I saw THIS specific one... even if she's just a Girl."

Kendalina didn't like this.

"And it was longer since I saw her come out of a specific woman, if that's what you're wondering."

Kendalina really didn't like this.

He knew. He knew her name, he had BEEN there when she was born, he had to be SOMEONE from the House of Zuka. That explained the way he seemed familiar- the Correllian accent with that ice cold pierce and those hateful eyes that were filled with contempt and disdain and that presence in the Force that felt like a snake coiling around her neck...

"Who are you?" Kendalina finally asked, trying to be as subtle as she could in preparing herself in case of attack. The Zuka man didn't blink, just continued to stare down at her. He had lines under his eyes, like he hadn't been sleeping properly, but the stress took the form of the lines instead of darkening.

"That's not your concern, Girl. I am simply here to see if you truly had become as the rumors said- not even Toh-Ma believed them." The man said, simply. Kendalina felt her heart skip a beat, and something in her stomach hurt terribly for a moment as the baby kicked.

"Nii-Nii..." She breathed. Her brother frowned, then his expression went blank. It was all the warning Kendalina got before her hand went up quickly to block his arm. Had she been even a second late, Dalhouise's backhand would have sent her flying.

"That is not something you are permitted to call me anymore, Girl- Address me as Master Zuka, or not at all." Kendalina frowned, but continued to hold firm against Dalhouise's blow. There was an impassivity to his voice that Kendalina was unused to hearing, even from someone from the House of Zuka.

"What if I don't?" Kendalina asked. Dalhouise only blinked down at her.

"Oh, but you will." Was all he said.

Then, Dalhouise disappeared, as though he had never been there. Kendalina sat down on her cot, placed her hands over her stomach, even as the child inside her kicked and punched, before she finally lay down and tried desperately to understand when her life had become such a mess.

* * *

_"I TOLD you we should have done this earlier, Viro- but no, you had to wait for them to start moaning and moping over the other before you said anything about 'Oh, we just need to use the Boy's third eye and pull them into the same dream, then they can talk together.' Were you just too busy? I'm sure being quiet and mooning over how you're not getting laid must take up a large amount of time in a person's day." Unlike Triclops, Kendalina did not interact with her split personality like a noisy, bossy, nosy roommate. The few times Kendalina had ever spoken to Woman, it had been something important that one personality had known and the other hadn't._

_"I might've been sick- did THAT occur to you?" Kendalina had only ever met Viro when he came out from Triclops' psyche, which had not been very often in Kendalina's presence. She supposed, since he was a defensive mechanism and Kendalina tended to be more of a protector than an attacker around Triclops, he would feel safe enough with her that Viro's appearance was not necessary. The few times Viro had interacted with Kendalina, he'd been... well, less than companionable._

_"With what? An allergy to common sense? Cat-got-your-tongue-itis? Or what about the Schadenfruede virus? All very serious ailments, I'm sure, but wouldn't it make more sense to see a medic such as, oh, I don't know, THE GIRL?"_

_"Would you two shut up? It's hard to sleep with you bickering." Kendalina called, before she felt someone march over and smack her on the head. Kendalina opened one eye and glared up at Woman. First, for smacking her. Then, in disgust for how sickeningly GIRLY she was._

_"You're already asleep, genius." Viro's voice put in, "That's why you're having this funny thing called a 'dream'." Kendalina turned over, put her hands over her ears, and firmly tried to shut her eyes._

_"My dreams aren't normally this irritating." She pointed out._

_This was the wrong thing to say, because Kendalina then heard a voice that was so utterly hurt and timid that she didn't need to turn around to see who it was._

_"So I did do something wrong, did I not?" Kendalina bolted to her feet and almost plowed over Woman and Viro as they stood between her and Triclops. Fortunately, Woman had sense enough to get out of the way and push Viro as she did so, but Kendalina didn't care, as a second later, she was standing toe to toe with Triclops and resisting the urge to smack him._

_"Why the HELL do you think you DID something?" She demanded. Oh, sure, she'd known that Triclops would be feeling guilty and worrying that she was mad at him- that would be a given for anyone who knew him well enough given the silent treatment she'd had to give him. Triclops blinked at her for a moment, before she continued, "Think- you're in a CELL! You spend your days being experimented on, dissected, beaten, or cleaned up! You don't DO anything at all! How could you do something WRONG?"_

_Triclops continued to blink before he said, calmly._

_"By not fighting back. Just by 'laying down and letting them walking over you', I might have been doing something wrong." Kendalina opened her mouth to argue, but stopped short as she realized that she had, indeed, berated Triclops for being so damn passive in the past._

_"...Okay, fair enough, but only because you're talking to ME." Kendalina snapped, before Triclops smiled and put his hands on her hips._

_"So... I have NOT done something wrong, then?" He asked. Kendalina rolled her eyes, but grudgingly accepted the affectionate touch._

_"No, you haven't. Now, do you at least want an explanation to why I've been giving you the cold shoulder?" She asked. Much to her surprise, Triclops shook his head._

_"I think I can guess." He said, quietly, "...Because you cannot talk to me or the Kommandant will know something is 'up'. And you cannot use the Force to speak to me like that." Kendalina stared at him, more because Triclops continued to smile as he explained, "You are not the kind of person to ignore people when they have upset you. I know you well enough that if you COULD use the Force, you would. You used it on my wounds more than once, spoke to me, and fought back against the Kommandant and the guards. But you have not been doing that, lately, so I reasoned the reason you were not was because you COULD not."_

_Kendalina stared at Triclops for the longest time, before she grinned, too._

_"We really have known each other forever, haven't we?" She finally asked, standing on tiptoe to put her arms around Triclops' shoulders. There was a noise in the background, but Kendalina didn't turn around._

_"Now that that's settled, could you two get lost? Viro and I want some private time." Woman's whiny, shrill voice finally put in. Kendalina still didn't look back._

_"YOU get lost- you two were the ones who dragged me into this weirdass dream in the first place." Kendalina argued. She could feel Triclops squirm, uncomfortably and Viro sigh in exasperation. Woman continued to argue._

_"Exactly- we were here FIRST. You two go get your own dreamscape." She pointed out, but before she could put her case any further, there was a squawk from her direction, "Viro, put me down! Where are you taking me?" Kendalina almost turned around to see what the two other personalities were doing, but Triclops distracted her by leaning down and giving her a rather thorough kiss on the lips._

_"We're leaving- by the time you two finish bickering, we could have had sex three times already, so we're moving." Damn, when had Triclops learned to use his tongue in these kisses? Kendalina had always known him to be the more... well, innocent wasn't quite the word, but definitely the one with much much less kink to him. Maybe it was because he was always the one more interested in how cute the kittens were than the pair of kitty ears that Kendalina might wear to spice up their sex life, but Triclops had just... never been too off the beaten path..._

_"But it's the PRINCIPLE of the matter!" Kendalina kissed back, affectionately nipping at his lower lip occasionally. Triclops' hands moved up her back, long fingers settling into the tracks of her ribcage and thumbs pressing against spots on her back that, for some reason, made her spine feel like it was melting. She really had been too tense, lately._

_"The 'principle' is that neither of us are getting laid right now. Boy, Girl, don't do anything I wouldn't." Then, Kendalina abruptly broke the kiss to glare at the vanishing Viro and Woman._

_"Like that RESTRICTS us in any way..." She muttered, before one of Triclops' hands did something that, under no conditions, could ever be described as "cute." She turned back and raised an eyebrow at him. Triclops just continued to smile, angelically._

_"I missed you." He finally said, pressing his forehead against hers._

_Kendalina grinned back._

_"I missed you, too."_

* * *

_"We still have the whole communication thing to figure out." Kendalina finally mentioned. She was in no rush, as time could pass as quickly or slowly as they damn well pleased in dreamscapes. Triclops also seemed perfectly content to take his time, but at the same time, impatient to come to a resolution- perhaps it was because he'd been kept in this prison with absolutely nothing to do, but Kendalina had the feeling he did not like having nothing to do, whereas she was more than happy to have resting time._

_"I know." For someone who felt impatient, Triclops was very good at ACTING patient. There was also something in his tone that told Kendalina he knew something that she didn't._

_"...And you don't seem the least bit inclined to worry about it..." Kendalina finally said, propping herself up on her elbows and staring down at Triclops. He was smiling, almost smugly, except Triclops was just never smug._

_"...Do you remember how you taught me to read?" He finally asked. Kendalina frowned, thought about it, then shrugged._

_"Vaguely. Why?" She said, at last. Triclops continued to smile._

_"I didn't like what the letters looked like. And had my own ideas of how things should be written." Triclops recalled. Now that he mentioned it, the memory was coming back to Kendalina- having a book spread open, a piece of paper and a stylus, and Triclops frowning as she tried to explain to him the concept of 'Aurek' and 'Besh'._

_"O-kay..." Kendalina said, slowly, still not seeing what that had to do with their conversation._

_"...And when I showed you what those letters looked like, you called it... my 'Superior Code-Building Skillz'." Triclops finally said. Kendalina blinked at him, but slowly started to smile._

_"...Oh." Then, Triclops sat up, somewhat pushing Kendalina off of him._

_"I have a code to teach you. And the way Viro has been reacting lately, if I leave scratches on the walls during my 'rages', not even the Kommandant will know what is happening."_

* * *

Kendalina quickly learned the trick to Triclops' idea of an alphabet was that, instead of individual letters, everything was written the way it 'Sounded', so to speak. After a bit of thinking it over, Kendalina had realized that, on purpose or on accident, Triclops had fashioned his written language on the sound waves that were produced when someone spoke. Either way, it was pretty ingenious, because Triclops had had several "Rages" as he had so called them, all of which served as perfect cover for him to scrawl the lines all over the walls and look so perfectly normal.

The main concern Triclops seemed to have was what the child would be NAMED. Kendalina had had very few suggestions, but she had known damn well what she DIDN'T want her child to be named- the names "Mace", "Dalhouise", "Ibal", anything beginning with "Peth", "Senth", or in anyway related to the name of their not-so-beloved Emperor were all at the top of her list.

One day, Kendalina came to the room to care for Triclops' injuries, and found a line scrawled across the wall in a way that Kendalina was quite sure was not a word. She went about her work in the same mechanical fashion as always, but kept sneaking glances over at the mark, wondering what it meant.

It looked similar to the way Triclops wrote HER name, but shorter. So, all Kendalina could figure was that it was "Kendal" or something along those lines.

Kendalina left Triclops a message, asking him to clarify what he meant by "Kendal".

The next day, a reply was waiting for her.

'Name the child after you.'

That was explanation enough.

* * *

'You know what's weird, Woman? You really do lose track of time in this kind of place.'

'I know- it doesn't seem like it, but you and I have been here for seven years. In terms of the Great ReSynchronization, it's year 28.'

'...Damn, I'm getting OLD.'

'You're only twenty-six.'

'That IS old.'

'Guess you don't want to think about how long you've been knocked up, then...'

'...What does THAT mean?'

* * *

Then, Kendalina woke up, and realized the reason she had awoken was because she could feel an incredible pain in her lower regions, like something inside of her was punching and kicking at her internal organs, and something three times the size of her hips was trying to force it's way out.

'Oh yeah...' She realized, 'Being pregnant means giving BIRTH at some point...'

A/N: Well... this was an uncomfortable chapter to write. In the next one, there will be cuteness and a great deal of angst. And then, in fashion of this fic, chapter eight will be a series of flashbacks that explain the 'Missing' moments.

If you didn't understand about the 'Language' Kendalina and Triclops use in this one- check out Part I, Chapter 6. Absolutely everything in this story will be used.


	31. Part IV: Chapter 7

By Sapadu

Chapter 7: Parting

part·ing /ˈpɑrtɪŋ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation**pahr**-ting Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1. the act of a person or thing that parts.

2. a division or separation.

3. a place of division or separation.

4. a departure or leave-taking.

5. death.

6. something that serves to part or separate things.

7. Mineralogy. a fracture of a crystal along a plane determined by twinning or pressure rather than along a cleavage plane.

8. Metallurgy. parting line.

–adjective

9. given, happening, taken, done, etc., at parting: a parting glance.

10. of or pertaining to parting, leave-taking, departure, or death: parting words.

11. ending or taking leave: the parting day.

12. dying.

13. dividing or separating.

Triclops slept uneasily. It was the second time he'd had a dream so disturbing, his first being the vision of the Temple falling.

Kendalina had been in his dream, this time. She had been fine, one moment, then the next, she seemed to shrink, until she was nothing at all.

And then, Triclops saw two people- a woman that looked almost like Kendalina, except she was far to feminine, but wasn't Woman, by any stretch of imagination, and a little boy that looked almost exactly identical to his mother. He was just learning how to walk, and fighting his way through a sea of leaves three times his size to reach his mother's outstretched arms. Before the child even got close, the mother turned, and ran away, leaving her child behind, crying for her not to leave him alone, to come back.

Triclops' eyes opened. He was still alone in his cell, and everything still was as it was before he fell asleep. But then, if a mere prisoner had died, there wouldn't necessarily be a stir enough that it would be immediately noticeable.

But, yet again, Kendalina had not been a mere prisoner- she was the only Medic in the place who had a clue what she was doing, and carrying a child that everyone assumed was the Kommandant's. Surely there would be a stir if SHE died.

But what if the reason she was dead was because the child had been a girl? What if the Kommandant had decided to execute Kendalina and her daughter, just for the fun of it?

But wasn't it more the Kommandant's style to make it publicly known and the height of conversation- it was much more like him to destroy a woman and innocent babe in front of everyone in the prison to set an example and warning.

But what if Kendalina had simply died during childbirth and it had been a girl? There would be no need for fuss- after all, it was just two females. But wouldn't the guards at least react a little, from the Jedi Mind Trick... being lifted...

Wait... Kendalina had lost her ability to use the Force! She no longer had all of the staff in the prison confounded, so what else could have been happening?

It didn't help that the usual guard came over and prodded Triclops into a wakened position. More than reluctantly, Triclops obediently crawled out of his safe little hole and stood to attention.

It was going to be a bad day.

* * *

"It really must be tiring, nothing to do all day. I hear it can drive a man mad- he just begins to think and think and think and eventually loses all coherency because he's thought around in circles so many times that he can't stop." The Kommandant's sarcastic voice cut into Triclops' brain worse than his whip did to his back. Frankly, Triclops didn't see the point in these whipping sessions- he knew already his place was beneath the Kommandant, he'd grown used to the pain and the bite, and he no longer reacted in anyway that could be classified as amusing, not after the long three months he'd had since he woke up from his vision. Surely, the Kommandant had OTHER prisoners, much more impudent ones to attend to...

"It makes me wonder- you must truly relish having something to actually do, don't you?" Triclops didn't reply. He had long grown used to these attempts at conversation, knowing full well it was just another method of psychological torture.

With this kind, however, he was entirely unsure what the game was, and how it could be won, if at all.

"You're being so unresponsive... I take it you haven't heard then?" The Kommandant seemed to be taking some glee in this. Triclops clenched his teeth and shivered at the bite of the air, "But I suppose that's only natural- the guards who train in the New Order are so superior, they do not succumb to common gossip before lowly prisoners. Of course YOU would not have heard."

"I was under the impression I was 'His Excellency's Royal Son', not just some lowly prisoner." Triclops replied, his mouth having gained a life of it's own, "Or were you just communicating some kind of compliment?"

This was the wrong thing to say, as the Kommadant brought his whip down again, this time over Triclops' skull, almost hitting his eye. Triclops couldn't hold in his scream, but had enough sense to squirm and writhe in appropriate pain, enough that the next blow from the whip, which had obviously been meant for his head again did not connect as highly, only barely hitting his neck. The leather still bit into the corner where his neck joined to his shoulders, leaving a deep cut that made Triclops' head freeze- it was almost enough to make him wonder if it would be possible to be decapitated by a whip, but the Kommandant regained his calm rather quickly.

"Well, I suppose you should know, at least..." The sneer was back in the Kommandant's voice, "If you haven't heard already, then you don't know about the child, then..."

Child? Triclops' heart skipped a beat and his breath froze. If the Kommandant was bringing it up, then Kendalina really was... no, wait, the Kommandant thought the child was HIS... and that Kendalina's pregnancy had driven them apart. He could only be telling Triclops about this if he considered himself victorious, so that meant...

Unless...

Unless the Kommandant had been pretending the whole time that he didn't know- the man was cunning enough and certainly sadistic enough that he wouldn't care who he stepped on to achieve his goals... he might very well have acted as though he believed Kendalina was with his child, only to snatch away the hope and promise of a new life at the last moment, right from under their noses.

"A bit of a disappointment..." Triclops was shaking, and he knew it, but it might have just been from the way his own blood was flowing quite freely from his back and neck and shoulders and leaving his head spinning, "...Doesn't look a thing like me... except for the nether regions, but that's a minor detail..."

Doesn't... why the present tense? Well, it meant the child was still alive, of course, but... wait... by nether regions, did the Kommandant mean...?

"Still, a son is a son." A son. Triclops held his breath, barely daring to hope. A son. A SON. If it had been a son, then that MUST mean... Kendalina was still...

"And you wouldn't believe how that FEMALE has been. I thought this might remind her of her place, but it's only made her more uppity than ever. Honestly, trying to get even close to the child is impossible- she bites anyone who gets within two meters of her and the child. Almost like she thinks- THINKS, isn't that a laugh?- that..." But the rest of the Kommandant's bastardly monologue faded out in Triclops' ears.

Has been. Bites. Thinks. All present tense.

Kendalina was alive.

Kendalina was alive, and had given birth to a baby boy.

Kendalina was alive and had given birth to a baby boy and fighting with all the ferocity of a mother with a child to protect.

So, had she regained her ability to use the Force? Or was she just able to move with her old grace and power now that she no longer had to worry about harming the life in her womb? Or was it a combination of the two? Or, possibly, was Kendalina just letting her instincts tell her what to do? They had always been good, he could see no reason why her instincts would fail her now.

It didn't matter. All that was important was...

The Kommandant's whip came down again, leaving an identical mark on the other side of Triclops' neck.

"Pay attention when I'm speaking to you."

The world spun before Triclops' eyes before his face hit the floor.

...Kendalina and the boy were alive.

* * *

Triclops regained his senses many days later- he knew that it was days because when he woke up, there was neither a medic attending his wounds, nor any pain, nor bacta patches, bandages, or any blood. In other words, he'd been unconscious long enough for his wounds to heal, completely.

Be that as it was, he still felt incredibly lightheaded and dizzy. Triclops could only suppose that he had not recovered from the blood loss- on the other hand, it would be near impossible to have recovered from it already, given how much he'd lost.

He left his eyes closed, trying to return to his state of unawareness, between wake and sleep, and hold off on the lingering ache of his tired limbs and head.

It was thus that he only heard the door open, then a click as it shut, and the all too familiar footsteps, whose presence he had heard in such similar circumstances nine months ago. He waited for the poke and abrasive demand that he stop his pretense of sleep, but it never came, even after he felt the shift of the table under Kendalina's weight as she sat.

"I am going to assume the guards are confounded, the camera is switched off, and nobody else even suspects you are here, correct?" He finally asked, into the silence. Kendalina chuckled, that old, familiar sound that made the table reverberate. There was something different about it, though... something... stronger, almost. Her voice sounded like there was more muscle to it... as though it were coming from a thicker throat, or a bigger mouth. Triclops allowed his eyes to open, just a little.

Kendalina was smiling down at him, naturally, but it was a small grin. Almost like a... not muted, but changed... version of her old, exuberant smiles. It wasn't that she had changed... it was that her face almost seemed changed, a different shape, or some other quality to it that was new. Her chin was firmer- stronger, somehow- jaw fitting naturally into place instead of jutting or receding. Her eyes even seemed to gleam with a different kind of fire- a set, focused determination instead of all-consuming in their blaze.

And the reason for her change was easy enough to see- in Kendalina's arms, Triclops could see she was cradling an infant child, hardly any longer than her forearm. Kendalina had taken a prisoner's shirt and fashioned it- if somewhat clumsily- to mostly fit the child's arms and body, almost like a sack with sleeves and a collar sewn into it.

"Man, I'm getting THAT predictable? I gotta change my style of doin' shit." Kendalina said, in a tone of false offense. Triclops just smiled at her, before Kendalina's attitude returned to a smile.

"Guess who I brought to visit." She finally said. Triclops sat up as best he could, ignoring how his head spun. His heart thudded painfully in his chest as Kendalina shifted enough for him to see the child's face. The boy had a tiny, round, red face that was scrunched shut as he dozed. Kendalina had covered his head with a hand-fashioned cap with two trailing appendages- Triclops supposed that was meant to be homage to the sleeping cap she'd worn when she had been little- but he could see the faintest strands of brown hair sticking out from under the cap.

But, for some reason, Triclops almost felt like he would cry. He lifted one hand to carefully trace a finger along the soft, pudgy little cheek. The boy shifted a little in his sleep, before a tiny little hand lifted and grabbed his finger. But even then, Triclops' hands were so much bigger than the average man's and this child's hand was so very, very tiny, the little, bony, fragile fingers just barely wrapped around Triclops' fingertip.

"...K-Kenda..." Triclops' voice felt strangled, as though it were coming from somewhere else than his own throat- it felt like his voice was resonating from somewhere even deeper in his chest, and it hurt to speak. Whether Kendalina could hear this strain and was just ignoring it, or didn't hear it, Triclops couldn't even be certain.

"Mmm?" She asked, quietly. Triclops stared down at the boy for a long, silent moment longer. His heart was beating even harder against his ribs, and he was very conscious of how breathing made his chest rise and fall, almost like it was heaving. He couldn't seem to draw enough oxygen or stop himself from shaking. His thumb gently brushed over the little fingers that were squeezed as tightly as they could be around his index finger.

One of the boy's eyes flickered open, just for a moment, and Triclops saw a flash of gray that looked just like Kendalina's, but the eye shut almost immediately. The child's head shifted again, this time towards Triclops, as though the babe could see Triclops' face through his eyelids, before turning back to Kendalina's breast.

This boy... this boy was so tiny, and so small... but Triclops couldn't look away. At the same time he felt something different in his chest, unlike the mellow, peaceful excitement he normally felt as he saw something cute. This boy seemed a thousand times- no, a million times- more precious than anything else in the world, and to see his face made Triclops' heart so full of happiness and love that it hurt, overwhelming in sweet pain, but he couldn't look away. He wished that the moment would freeze and never move again, that the three of them could stay in this room forever, this boy's hand still firmly holding onto his hand, and Triclops still this close to tears.

"W-we're... we're _parents_..." He finally whispered. Kendalina blinked at him, curiously for a moment. He could just imagine her voice saying, 'And you only just realized this?' but he didn't care, because Kendalina remained silent, comforting, and this child... this boy was his son. Somehow, that fact hadn't occurred to Triclops before, until he finally said it, "...I'm a _father_..."

Kendalina smiled.

"Yes, Triclops." She said, quietly, patiently, "You're a father." Then, Triclops felt his son shift as his grip released Triclops' finger. For a moment, Triclops blinked in confusion, before he realized Kendalina was moving- to be precise, holding their son out to him. Triclops' hands shook as he carefully lifted his son from Kendalina's arms and pulled him close- Triclops wasn't sure if their son was just that tiny, or if it was his own abnormality, but his son just barely fit into his hands. Triclops carefully held his son to his chest, almost afraid that he would break the child if he tried to hold him like Kendalina had been. For some reason, it was so vastly different from holding those little ones in the medcenter nursery- perhaps it was because back then, he hadn't been so grotesquely large and abnormally proportioned, or maybe it was because he'd never held one of the infants who had been born early or underweight, but his son seemed so, so tiny, Triclops almost felt like none of this could possibly be real.

Except, here he was, with this tiny child that he had fathered curled up in his massive palms and cradled against his chest.

Kendalina sat up on her knees and leaned against Triclops' shoulder, smiling at the two of them.

"He's just like you." Triclops couldn't turn to cast her a questioning glance, but made a rather neutral noise to convey his confusion. Kendalina chuckled a little, then explained, "He hasn't cried once. Not when he's hungry, not when he's tired, not when he's cranky, not even when one of the other medic's squeezed his arm too hard. And it's not that he can't make noise- he's cooed and hummed and made little noises, but he just hasn't cried yet." Triclops continued to stare at his son, a smile making it's way to his scarred lips. That did, indeed, sound like him- never one to complain, just to somehow communicate when he needed something. Triclops pulled his son a little closer and lowered his head enough that, if his son so chose, he could have reached up and touched Triclops' face.

After a moment, his son's hand stretched out again and began to paw at Triclops' shirt, almost like he expected to find something underneath it. Kendalina chuckled and Triclops heard the snap of her uniform coming undone and the shift of her taking her shirt off.

"Okay, now he's hungry." Triclops willingly let Kendalina lift their son from his hands, taking him back into her arms as she pulled him towards her breast. Triclops scooted over to sit behind her as their son nursed, arms wrapping around her as he felt her shiver with so much of her bare skin being exposed to the cool air. That, if nothing else, was a mark of how well they knew each other, enough that modesty seemed to have no meaning, and it made that ache inside Triclops' chest grow even more with the thought that, this way, they both were helping to care for their son.

"Kendal wasn't such a great name." Kendalina finally said. Triclops blinked at her, in confusion, even as she continued to smile at the little face that was suckling on her breast, "I wish he could've had three eyes- then we could've named him after the right parent."

Triclops said nothing, but closed his eyes and turned his head enough to press a long kiss against Kendalina's forehead.

* * *

Triclops had not thought that the euphoria he felt could ever dissipate. He felt so light and happy that he never could have felt sadness or even regret ever again. Just the fact that he and Kendalina had a son was enough to renew his hope that everything would be okay. Eventually, they would find a way out, somewhere to live, the Empire would either never find them or somehow fall, and the three of them would live peacefully together. There just HAD to be a way. Nothing could change Triclops' certainty of that, now.

He fell asleep in utter peace and contentment that night- not even the softest bed would have been more comfort and the only thing that could make his sleep more perfect would be Kendalina and their son, Kendal, with him.

Their son. Kendal, their son. Just repeating the words in his head made him feel as though he'd sprouted wings and was flying far, far away from this hellish nightmare.

It was thus that Triclops had not expected his dreams that night to be as horrible as they were.

Unlike his normal dreams, Triclops found himself standing in the same room as the scene he was seeing, instead of somewhere above, looking down. And this was, indeed, a scene. Usually, his dreams worked on metaphors. Instead, Triclops found himself standing in the middle of a gray room, only lit by the ceiling lights. For a long moment, Triclops wondered if he was awake and just hadn't realized that he had been brought here, before he saw the other person in the room. Kendalina, of course. She even had a sling around her body that supported baby Kendal as she worked. Triclops greeted her, even walked over and touched her shoulder, but his hands only went through her.

Dream, then. So, why was he seeing this?

The door opened and Triclops and Kendalina both turned to see a female figure that Triclops only barely remembered- that old medic at the medcenter who had mentored Kendalina during her early years, and later offered Triclops the position in the nursery. While he'd never known her that well, she had been nice enough, if a bit strict and a little frightening. Kendalina even perked up as she saw her.

"Heyya, Medic!" She said, before the greeting died in Kendalina's throat.

Medic was scowling- Triclops' memories were faint, but he knew, with at least some certainty, that Medic had never SCOWLED like that, least of all at Kendalina. But there was something else- she wasn't just angry, and it wasn't petty annoyance or exasperation. There was something burning, white hot, and hateful in that look of hers.

"What's up? There somebody that needs to die?" It was Kendalina's way of dealing with these kinds of situations that she would offer to kill someone in an attempt to make the angry party feel better. While this brand of humor was lost on Triclops, it usually had a calming effect on other women, such as the Furies and Medic.

This time, however, there was something very dark in Medic's face.

"Yes. Yes, there is." Triclops heard a very nasty sound come from what looked like the direction Medic was in, but it could not have possibly been her voice- her voice had never been so... well, the word "grating" came to mind... and the way she spoke those words was something that just was not like her.

It put Kendalina well enough on her guard- Triclops saw her shift in her stance to a more fight accessible position, one arm going around Kendal to keep him from falling out of the sling.

"Who are you and what did you do to Medic?" Kendalina's voice grew sharp. Medic's expression didn't change, but she growled even worse than before.

"You're not the one to be asking questions." She snapped, pulling something in a canister out of her pocket. Triclops frowned, but Kendalina apparently recognized it. It wasn't a bomb or detonator, Triclops was fairly certain, but what COULD it be? Medicine that was toxic? Some chemical they used in cleaning their instruments? Poison? He wasn't sure.

"Medic, whatever happened, I'm sure there's another way to handle this- you know that acid is highly concentrated, only for use to dissolve dangerous..."

"I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT THIS IS AND THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO USE IT!" Medic screamed. Acid? Why would Medic have acid with her? Kendalina was still in her position, prepared for any charge the other woman might make, but not yet ready to attack Medic, one on one.

"Medic, calm down- there's got to be a..."

"SHUT UP!" Medic charged and Kendalina dodged out of the way with speed and agility that Triclops had never seen in her before, "You are NO ONE to be telling me to calm down!" The acid still wasn't open, yet, but Triclops could see there was something more here than they could see.

"This isn't the way to handle it!"

"OH, ISN'T IT? THEN YOU TELL ME HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO HANDLE THIS! YOU TELL ME WHY YOU WERE ALLOWED TO KEEP YOURS! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL THAT YOU AREN'T FORCED TO DESTROY YOUR OWN CHILD?" Medic's voice was reaching a shrill point that Triclops had not known was possible to Human vocal chords, but it suddenly made sense.

Medic had been raped, too, gotten pregnant as a result, and then, either the fetus had been aborted, or she had not been allowed to keep the child after it had been born. It must have been long before Kendalina had gotten to the prison- Triclops was sure that if Kendalina had been present, she would have known about it and kicked the ass of the guard or trooper or officer responsible, and kicked it good.

Kendalina seemed to understand just as well, but at the same time, she seemed at a loss for what to say or do.

"Medic, this isn't the same thing." Kendalina had to dodge again, but this time, Triclops could see her throw something, almost like she would a knife. A scalpel. And it connected with the bottle of acid, puncturing it right where Medic's fingers wouldn't be injured by the acid that trickled, then flowed out.

Kendalina had gotten safely to the other side of the room, neither her nor Kendal harmed.

"Will you listen, now? This isn't about either of us being better or more important or someone not being good enough..." Kendalina was attempting to keep her voice calm, but Triclops knew- there was no way to really explain what had happened. Not without hurting someone, very very badly. Kendalina being allowed to keep her son and Medic being forced to lose her child was something that could not be justified, nor could the hurt be eased. Kendalina would not be able to excuse the fact that Kendal was still alive and with her, while Medic's child was now dead, and any comfort that could be offered would be tainted bitter by the fact that Kendalina had not lost her child.

"LIAR! THIS IS ABOUT ONE OF US BEING BETTER- THEY LET YOU KEEP YOUR CHILD, BUT I COULDN'T BE PERMITTED TO BE A MOTHER! THEY LET YOU, BECAUSE IT'S THE KOMMANDANT'S CHILD, NOT SOME COMMON SOLDIER'S!" That explained a great deal of her bitterness, even if she was so very incorrect in her assumption. Kendalina even seemed to be ready to tell her this, except she stopped, realizing that it would do no good to explain that.

"This isn't something THEY let happen- They only have as much control as you let them have. You can fight back, or run away, or hide instead of letting them control everything." This had been the wrong thing to say, as Medic started to shriek something horrible and went running at Kendalina with the leaky jar of acid that was not completely empty.

"I WISH THIS CHILD WOULD JUST DISAPPEAR!" Medic screamed, bringing the broken jar down.

"KEND-!" Triclops couldn't stop himself from screaming, even though he knew it wouldn't be heard, but there was a crack and the hissing of acid burning against flesh.

Then, Kendal began to cry. Not just cry, but wail. Medic went flying across the room and Triclops saw Kendalina set her leg back down from her kick. There was a large, gruesome burn over the left side of her face, from her forehead, down over her eye, and on her cheek. Pieces of glass were stuck to her hair, even as blood and a number of other bodily fluids dribbled down Kendalina's face. Her skin looked like it was melting away from her face, but Kendalina's expression was perfectly calm.

"Medic... I respected you, once- you were a strong woman who I looked up to, and I always told myself that if I ever had children, I'd want them to grow up to be just like you. Hell, I was even going to ask you if you wanted to be an aunt or adoptive parent, if anything happened to me." Kendal was still screaming in his mother's arms, "But anyone who attacks my son, or his father, is not someone I will forgive so easily."

Medic had gotten back to her feet, but froze. For a moment Triclops assumed it was just the expression on Kendalina's face that had shocked her, before Medic fell back over, completely unmoving. Even Kendalina was surprised by this, as she quickly crossed the room and caught the woman. Blood was flowing from the corners of her mouth and her eyes were glazed over, and it was clear enough that Medic was dead.

"Medic? MEDIC?" Triclops didn't know how to react, either, until the door opened and the guards entered, blasters pointed at Kendalina and the crying baby Kendal. There was even an officer present, and the pale man in a black cloak who had delivered the "Special" orders for Triclops' confinement.

Nobody moved, nor was anyone prepared to react when things all around the room began to explode. The guard's guns blasted apart, either completely useless, or yanking out of their owner's arms and turning and firing on their own in midair.

All the while, Kendal was still wailing, his hands beating at the air. The man in black seemed to come to a conclusion quicker than any of the others, as he pointed straight at Kendalina.

"Have that woman taken away and put in solitary confinement." He barked over the noise, "She is a Jedi." The room went still as Kendalina frantically tried to calm her fitful son. Things stopped exploding, at any rate, but the soldiers followed their orders swiftly. Kendal was pulled from Kendalina's arms and her wrists were put in binders.

"Alert the Kommandant that an execution is to take place, and secure the child. Bring other prisoners from the barracks and have them ready at the gunpoint if she resists." Continued the man, and Triclops could see his orders being obeyed so quickly that he didn't even have time to react.

* * *

Triclops awoke and his body began to move, immediately. There was no time for doubt now- Kendalina was going to be killed, and there was nothing she could do to stop it because they were going to have her threatened.

Something was going through his mind that he'd never known he could have felt- determination. All that was replaying in his head were all the times Kendalina had saved him. Kendalina hadn't let the Jedi keep him in a confinement cell, Kendalina hadn't let the Baron take him back as his toy, Kendalina hadn't left him behind for the Jedi Council to do with as they pleased, and even though it had been a trap, Kendalina had come for him, here. There was so much that she had always protected and saved him from.

Now it was HIS turn.

'Okay, Boy- just be sure you know what you're doing.' Viro said in the back of his head, and Triclops felt a surge of something that burned in his muscles. His hands were moving on their own, in practiced movements, as Viro had always controlled them.

One sharp punch, just so, and the wall of his prison cell crumbled. Triclops didn't feel any ache in his hands as the bruises grew, but merely pushed the rubble out of the way, found the right spot, and pushed.

The entire wall collapsed with a glorious noise that made the ground under Triclops' feet shake. He pushed aside the large chunks of rock as though he were merely kicking pebbles across the walkway. The dust hadn't settled, but he didn't need to see- he knew where he was going as his feet carried him out. There were shouts in the dust of soldiers in their armor and guards loading their rifles, screams of confusion from other prisoners outside and the clanking of the labor they were performing in the spice mines, clanking footsteps on rattling walkways and somewhere in the background was the noise of a ship blasting off from the ground, but Triclops had this feeling in his bones that they didn't matter.

Petty rifles and blasters were no match for him.

The nearest guard was down after a swift fist to his stomach that shattered his armor and sent him flying. One of the guards fired a blaster bolt that hit his shoulder, but even as Triclops felt it bite, the pain was barely there- like a pinch or the feeling of pain that accompanied Kendalina swatting him. It was nothing, almost pleasant even, and the guard who had shot at him was unconscious on the ground not a moment later.

After that, there was no need for Triclops to even try. The doors to the building the executions were held in were bolted shut, but that made no difference. Triclops had but to put his hand on the wall and push in just the right spot and, where there had been a door before, there was now a large hole that could easily accommodate twenty bodies going through it. Triclops heard shouts on the other side and screams and some nasty noises that sounded suspiciously like CRUNCH as the falling pieces of wall crumbled and fell on top of the guards on the other side.

The smell of blood was in the air, and for the first time, Triclops didn't care. He had a mission, and damned if he would fail.

Now Triclops had to be sure where the room was. He wasn't sure in his mind, but his feet knew- they continued to move, propelling him forward, through the wreckage and into the belly of the beast. He could hear footsteps running all over the place, some from officers, some from guards, and many of them far too close for comfort.

'Hide, boy- you can't kill these guys, they've got information you need.' Viro told him, and Triclops didn't argue, only barely ducking into an open space behind a dislodged panel on the wall.

"Do you have the prisoner in the room yet?" An officer was asking a reporting scout.

"No, sir- the Kommandant's orders were that he wanted to be present for the execution, as well as the other prisoners. He wishes to make an example of the Jedi." The scout reported. Triclops listened as closely as he could, but held his breath and waited for more.

"Good- Lord Zuka has taken the matter personally into his hands and has been appointed to perform the execution, but before that, we are still missing Number 63696. The Kommandant is searching for him, personally."

Ah, that was Triclops. The Kommandant was still on about that promise he made to "Take everything away" from Triclops. It was almost humorous, his persistence, except for the fact that Kendalina was going to die if he didn't do something.

"Sir, Number 63696 has escaped from his cell and well over one-hundred men are now dead because of it- we are at a loss as to what to do." The scout said, almost snappishly, except it came across as merely being clipped urgency.

"Send a guard to keep watch over the Jedi- she might escape in the chaos. Then, double the watch." The officer replied, and then there was the sound of footsteps running as Triclops heard the conversation end.

'Wow- one-hundred men in one go. Nice, Boy. Just one riot and you've bumped off more than I did this whole time we've been here.' Viro's voice didn't sound smug or taunting- if anything, he sounded proud of Triclops.

'You are not helping.' Triclops informed him, shortly. Viro stopped making snide comments, and Triclops set off again, not knowing where he was going or what he was going to do when he got there.

* * *

Outside of his cell, the prison had timepieces and other measurement devices to keep track of the moments. Triclops had never been so aware of how time dragged, especially when there was a timepiece on the other side of the wall you were hiding behind.

He kept track of how long he had been out of his cell periodically when it was quiet. There was a limited amount of time, he knew, but he kept hearing officers receive reports from scouts, each time asking for progress on finding him. It made sense, the Kommandant wanted, more than anything, to impress on Triclops that he was going to be separated from Kendalina forever- it was a sadistic, almost unreasonably so, aspect of the man's personality, but it was buying Kendalina some time. Thus far, it had given her an extra twenty-four hours, each one as long and torturous as the one before it.

Inwardly, though, Triclops wondered how long the Kommandant would wait. Would he eventually tire of the game of cat and mouse and go through with it, anyway? Or would he be content to chase Triclops forever, delaying the execution over and over, until Triclops just couldn't run anymore?

Triclops didn't know. But what truly made him nervous was the man in black robes who had known Kendalina had been a Jedi- there was something else about him that Triclops didn't understand, how he had not only known, but he had known how to subdue Kendalina. He'd known her well enough that he'd known to pull in innocent bystanders and use them to force her into submission.

Who was that man, anyway?

Triclops tried to breathe calmly, before he set off again, this time finding another conversation, except between two officers.

"The Kommandant's startin' to talk about just getting it over with. I don't get why he's dragged it out this long, looking for this one prisoner." One was complaining with the attitude of someone who had spent a long day at hard labor.

"I heard that he was gettin' panicky that if we didn't wrap this up, soon, we'd have a real Sith on our hands to deal with the Jedi. Then, we'll have our efficiency rating go down and we all might get the chop." Triclops felt his heart pound once, then stop, then pound again, this time in his throat. The guards were bad enough with the Kommandant pulling their strings and controlling everything from the shadows, but Kendalina could still have a chance against them, if she was given enough time to think out a strategy.

The Sith, though... Kendalina had only barely been able to escape from Darth Vader before, but what if the Emperor came? Not only was he on an entirely different level, but would Kendalina keep her cool? Could she? Especially now that both of them knew about his involvement with the fall of the Jedi Order and how Triclops had come to exist in this world... Triclops was already starting to panic, himself. How would Kendalina react?

Now, they were running out of time- even if the Kommandant didn't "Get it over with", there was still the very real possibility that the Emperor would send his own right hand man to destroy Kendalina, himself, and then there would be no second chance.

"Would you two get in gear?" A new officer snapped, "The Kommandant has officially ordered that all officers report to the execution site- we are to commence, immediately."

Triclops froze. Commence immediately... which only meant that...

The footsteps disappeared, but Triclops was still fighting his way out of the tight, enclosed space that had allowed him suitable cover. Minutes, precious minutes, were ticking by with every moment he paused, even to catch his breath, and he still didn't know where he was supposed to go. Well, that was easily enough solved- he just had to follow the guards, and hope that they would be prompt.

But what was he going to do? Well, he had Viro, who could control this eye, but would that be enough to overcome his handicap of, oh, just being completely useless? What if something happened BEFORE Viro even had a chance to come out? Or, worse, what if, by some fluke, the experiments had at last repressed Viro's ability to take over the body?

Triclops couldn't think- he just moved, hurrying after the officers as quickly as he could, even though they were well out of sight now. It was only after he passed a hallway that he finally heard an echoing voice, all the way from the other end of the hall.

"Prisoner, strip." Triclops had never, even for a beating, ever been told to strip, not in that tone. He couldn't imagine what they would require it for, before he realized it- humiliation. The execution was not the main purpose- the purpose was to show that they were superior to the prisoner, to degrade and humiliate them, to show they were little more than an animal, or an object.

That had to be it. Triclops turned, sharply, and started to run as quickly as he could down the hallway. He didn't seem to be going quickly at all- his feet felt sluggish and heavy, as though weights were attached to his ankles.

"Blindfold and binders." There it was again. That idea of helplessness, completely at someone else's whim- there was only one occasion they would blindfold and cuff a prisoner like this, and Triclops was more sure than ever that it was Kendalina, now.

But his legs just would not move quickly enough. Even as he neared the door that was only half open, Triclops felt like his feet were sticking or slipping on the floor, but either way, he wasn't moving like he should have been.

He got to the door, one hand on it as he pushed it open. There was loud BANG.

Triclops just barely saw the flash of blaster fire, but the moment seemed to hold it's breath as Kendalina's corpse hit the floor. Every inch of her bare skin was laid bare for all to see, but it was no longer flesh, but rather skin and muscle, all looking ridiculous and mocking of the proud, strong woman who had lived inside it, who had worn those scars with pride, who had borne the struggle of those womanly curves in a world where she had always been second class because of them, who had fought the mortality of that flesh, yet embraced it at the same time. All the life and blood had been drained from her with that single blaster shot, leaving only a sack of tissues that almost seemed boneless as it was slumped on the floor.

The world seemed to shatter into a million pieces before Triclops' eyes, and in each one, he saw a little glimmer of what had once been Kendalina.

From a loud, bossy, almost bratty little girl with a braid on one side of her head, finger painting graffiti on the walls of the Jedi Temple, to a young woman in a simple black dress on her way to the Senate Chambers to make a bid for more rights for medcenter patients of minority origin.

From the warm heat of another body laying next to his, whispering in the dark about her memories from their childhood, to a figure just outside his door, reciting a counting rhyme about fish and a bitten finger.

From someone sitting next to him, holding him tight and repeating that it was okay to be scared when he was still so much smaller, to that last kiss goodbye on the forehead as the youngest ever appointed Jedi Knight left for her first mission with her apprentice.

From hands on his back, cleaning and healing the long, red marks left from the whip, to arms wrapped around his shoulders as he cried, a voice in his ear thanking him for his tears.

From the most boastful padawan in the Temple in a sparring match with Master Yoda to find a bell he'd hidden on himself somewhere, all for the sake of proving a point about the Jedi Order, to that same padawan with newly cropped hair declaring that she would not rest until she had found her Master and returned her to the Order.

Triclops felt something sting his knees before he realized he'd dropped to the floor. He felt as though all the strings that held his body up had been cut, like there was nothing to hold him up any more. His heartbeat was slowing, but it wouldn't stop, almost like someone was determined to prolong his suffering, and give him no respite at this horrible sight that could not possibly be real.

One of his wrists lifted and something was fastened to it, but it only alerted Triclops' mind to something- he could move. He had to. There had to be something he could do, but he had to...

Move.

"KENDA!" Triclops felt his other hand shoot out, reaching for her as though he might be able to pull her spirit back, stop her from dying, hold her back from going to the other side, whatever that might be.

The butt of a gun connected with the back of his skull, sending stars spinning in front of his eyes. But the world did not fade out. No, Triclops saw even more clearly than before, but all parts of his body suddenly felt like lead, dropping him onto the floor. Vaguely, he was aware of voices talking over him, but even as he didn't want to hear the words, he had no choice.

"Sir, it might be possible that Number 63696 was the real father of that child- we could not find any evidence of your code when we analyzed the child's DNA... It's possible we might find some similarity if allowed to examine Number 63696."

'Yes, yes, analyze me. Examine me. Dissect me. Cut me up into little pieces. Beat me down until I cannot get back up again.' He just didn't care anymore.

_"So, when we talk to or about Trike, we'll just say 'you' or 'the boy'? Gee, that's decent of you..."_

"That won't be necessary- if you can be sure that it's not my child, then Number 63696 is the only one who could be the father. Don't waste time or medical equipment trying to prove what we already know."

_"No, he DIDN'T! Triclops hasn't murdered anybody anymore than... than I have!"_

"Your orders then, sir? Without direct proof, I doubt the Emperor will allow us to destroy... Number 63696..."

"_...So... if you ever get too scared... run to me... and I'll keep them away. I became strong because Master Retaw said that for me... Maybe it'll work on you..."_

"Destroy the child. It'll grow up to be a Jedi, if it's not dealt with, now."

_"Start crying! If you don't cry, I can't cry! LET ME CRY! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME CRY?" _

"S-S-Sir Kommandant... Th-that's going to be difficult..."

"_You're not a thing- you're a person."_

"Come again?"

"_I don't care if people insult me- they're probably right, most of the time, but if someone insults Master Retaw or Triclops, they're gonna see Hell, end of discussion!"_

"Well... S-sir... The child is... missing."

_"That's MY way of the Jedi!"_

"WHAT?"

"_Any of you bastards try to hurt Master Retaw or Triclops... and I'll kill you."_

"Sir... we don't know how it happened... the security holocams show..."

"_FIGHT BACK! THEY CAN'T DO THIS!"_

"Security holocams can be rigged, you fool- otherwise, that child wouldn't even have been born. Do you mean to tell me that nobody thought to post a guard outside that room?"

_"I need you... to cry for me when I can't... to be there for me to hold when I'm not being strong enough... to refuse to fight. Because now, since Master Retaw can no longer say that she can do anything for me, I have to be the one who, if it's for my Master, I can do anything."_

"S-S-Sir... It seemed that... well, it was just a child... what harm could a child do... and since we were short-handed already because of the-"

"_Ac'lly, I think I'll PASS on havin' kids- I'd suck ass as a mom! Bu' don' worry- If I eva do have kids, you can always come over and play wid'em. They'll need a Jii Trike to spoil them when I'm not 'round."_

"THAT IS NO EXCUSE, YOU LAZY FOOLS! What would you have done if someone had snuck into the room and harmed that child and it had, indeed, turned out to be mine?"

"_You're a TRICLOPS, of course. And either way, you're still just a boy."_

"S-Sir... the fact remains that... well, the child is gone... that might mean someone else has already..."

_"I'll need a partner to keep my feet on the ground."_

"FIND THAT CHILD! If someone took it away to protect it, it will become a Jedi, someday."

"_Welcome home, Master Retaw."_

"Y-Yes, Sir Kommandant..."

"_Hey, sleepin' beauty."_

Triclops' eyes had not blinked nor shifted away from Kendalina's face. If the blindfold hadn't been there, she would have almost looked like she was just sleeping. Well, aside from the blood and the gaping hole in her forehead, but those were just details, really. Her mouth was open, just slightly, and there was a puddle of drool that had slipped out before her saliva glands had stopped working. Her cheeks were still that same pliable firmness that could have turned into a smile at any moment. She just looked... relaxed.

Between them, Triclops could see something glimmering on the floor- so small and silvery gray like the floor that nobody else had seen it, yet. Triclops closed his hand around it. It was a little half circle made of silvery crystal- half of the Chalactan faith stone Kendalina had worn under her shirt since the day Master Retaw entrusted it to her.

Where was the other half?

The only one who seemed to even notice that Triclops was still in the room was the stormtrooper who had butted his head with a gun. In another moment, the trooper called for two others to remove him from the room, before Triclops felt another blow to the head that brought blissful darkness, but no end to the ache in his chest.

* * *

_"Who do you think you're talking to? I'm the Greatest Jedi That Ever Lived, remember?"_

But, Kendalina...

You weren't...

_"That's MY way of the Jedi!"_

Not if it truly had been...

* * *

The next day, the prison had returned to normal, and no medic could find out what was wrong with #63696, who had returned to a stage nine coma.

Triclops, now reformed to a cold, bitter man, slept on, determined to never awaken.

A/N: Okay, I just want you all to know, I CRIED while I was writing this. It was hard, both on my mental and emotional levels, and I will probably not be writing for any of my other fics for some time, until I've recovered from the shock. Just as a heads up.

curls up in corner


	32. Part IV: Chapter 8

By Sapadu

Chapter 8: Immortal

im·mor·tal /ɪˈmɔrtl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciationi-**mawr**-tl Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective

1.not mortal; not liable or subject to death; undying: our immortal souls.

2.remembered or celebrated through all time: the immortal words of Lincoln.

3.not liable to perish or decay; imperishable; everlasting.

4.perpetual; lasting; constant: an immortal enemy.

5.of or pertaining to immortal beings or immortality.

6.(of a laboratory-cultured cell line) capable of dividing indefinitely.

–noun

7.an immortal being.

8.a person of enduring fame: Bach, Milton, El Greco, and other immortals.

9.the Immortals, the 40 members of the French Academy.

10.(often initial capital letter) any of the gods of classical mythology.

The rain drummed heavily on the roof of the transport, making a pounding sound that practically deafened the three inside. The young one squalled in distaste at the loud noise, even as Mehgan tried to calm him. Even Kao-Lin, or Kaoln, as she called herself now, was agitated with nothing to do, and the baby's crying.

It had been two weeks since their departure from Kessel with the infant Kendal, but the small rooms on the smuggling transport were no place fit to care for a child. Still, they had adapted somehow, enough that there was an appropriate space for the little one to sleep, even though he did so rarely for an infant. Due to this, Mehgan slept very little, as well, which eventually led to Kaoln having to stay awake, which was currently adding to her foul mood.

"Can't you shut him up?" She finally asked. Mehgan shot Kaoln a Look, but kept trying to rock him. Baby Kendal just seemed to become more irritated, tiny fists beating at the air as though he were in a rage that such noise could exist and nobody could comfort him from it. In the last hour, Mehgan had tried to rock him back to sleep, tried lullabies that had soothed Kendalina when she had been still an infant, tried feeding him, tried everything she could possibly think of. Kendal, however, would have none of the bottle and viciously kicked her away when Mehgan tried to check his linens.

"He seems to know I'm not his mother... this boy..." Mehgan said, at last.

* * *

_"What are we DOING here?" Mehgan asked as Kaoln stepped off the ship, crouching low enough that she remained in the shadows cast by the ships and rocky terrain. Kaoln made a gesture for Mehgan to remain on the ship, even as she crouched down, her rust colored smock blending in with the rock. Mehgan calmed herself and extended herself into the Force, feeling for any presence that would be threatening or dangerous, but felt nothing._

_What she did feel, however, was startling, but really shouldn't have been. It was the feeling of two persons, but only in one space, like one was carrying the other. And, Mehgan could tell, one of them was almost certainly a Jedi._

_"Master Retaw, I think you need to see this." Kaoln called from outside the transport. There was something in her voice that made Mehgan curious, because it almost sounded like amusement, except she was also cautious. Pulling the hood of her brown robe over her head, Mehgan peered out in the direction Kaoln was indicating._

_It was a stormtrooper, walking in their direction with something in his arms, wrapped in a blanket._

_How singularly amusing, yet... not..._

_The stormtrooper knew they were there, and seemed to be making a beeline right for their transport, but Mehgan felt no malice- no, this man felt like the Jedi she'd sensed earlier. Could it be? Could it be that someone had escaped? But who, then? What Jedi in his right mind would hide in THIS place, dressed as a stormtrooper of all things?_

_The answer came when the Jedi-cum-stormtrooper came to a halt underneath the cover of the ship and pulled off his helmet to reveal a familiar face that had changed so drastically since Mehgan had last seen it. And certainly explained the blanket-wrapped thing in his... well, actually, HER arms._

_"...Master Orewahime?" Kaoln asked, staring. Mehgan couldn't help but stare, either, as Kendalina had somehow seemingly transformed from the boyish, barely teenaged little girl into a woman, almost in her middle ages, lean, powerful, and still, somehow, bursting with life. Her eyes were narrowed, but still bright, face smooth, but still hard and focused, hair chopped short, but still unruly and flailing all over the place like a tangled mop._

_It was still overwhelmingly difficult to hear Kendalina being addressed as 'Master Orewahime' by someone, when Mehgan still remembered her as a bossy eight year old with a big mouth and feet that tended to get stuck in said mouth._

_That had obviously changed. Kendalina didn't grin at them as she normally would, but extended the child wrapped in the blanket out for Kaoln to see. Mehgan didn't need telling that this was obviously her son, and the father could only be Triclops- it was just something that Mehgan knew, knowing Kendalina as a person, that Kendalina would rather cut out her own uterus than have a child that she hadn't consented to. And Triclops was about the only man in the galaxy that she could think of that Kendalina would willingly have sex with._

_For a moment, Mehgan remained frozen in her spot, wondering what she should do, but Kaoln helpfully filled in the silence._

_"Aw, he's cute. Is THIS the cargo you wanted me to smuggle, Master?" Kaoln finally asked. Kendalina rolled her eyes, but Mehgan listened intently, as Kendalina hadn't spoken yet. When she did, her voice had changed so drastically, Mehgan wouldn't have recognized it if she hadn't seen Kendalina's lips move._

_"I just need you to get him off the planet- we ARE in a medical center here, so they could easily find out who his father is. Seriously, you remember what we saw on our first day? They'll do it, and you know it."_

_Ah, so Kaoln and Kendalina were already familiar with this place. That also explained why, half way to their destination in Hutt space to pick up a smuggled load of arms, Kaoln had frozen, gone rigid, then abruptly turned away from their course, diverting to the Kessel run. Kendalina must have sent her a Force summons or something of the sort._

_But why could it be so important that Kaoln would have known that a shipment of arms needed for the coming uprising could be delayed?_

_"Still- the message you sent me was a distress signal. This could've waited, cuddin'it?" Kaoln pushed, looking a little irritated. Mehgan almost agreed, except she could see the expression on Kendalina's face that meant, clearly, no, this could NOT have waited._

_"Well, ex-CUSE me! I'm only going to be EXECUTED in a few minutes, and once I'm gone, they'll do all those tests to find out this is Trike's son, not the Kommandant's, and then we're ALL dead. But if you think that I'm BOTHERING you, trying to save a couple of innocent lives, by all means, you didn't HAVE to come." That was Kendalina- there was no denying that sarcasm and bitchy humor._

_Mehgan, however, failed to see any humor in her voice, forgetting that she was supposed to remain on the ship as she dropped out of the door and causing both Kaoln and Kendalina to jump. Well, in truth, Kaoln started, but Kendalina actually fell over from her crouch and scuttled backwards, staring at Mehgan like she had never seen anything in Mehgan's likeness before._

_"...Master Retaw..." Kendalina stammered, still holding onto her baby son, even in that ridiculous suit of stormtrooper armor, "...Didn't know you were here..."_

_"Executed?" Mehgan asked, glaring at Kendalina as though she were still the child who had drawn all over the Temple walls. Perhaps it was unfair, but there was some part of Mehgan that felt inexplicably angry with Kendalina for not caring about her own imminent death as much as she should have._

_"...Kao-Lin, why didn't you tell me you had company? I'dve called someone else." Kendalina's tone was suddenly accusatory as she looked anywhere BUT in Mehgan's direction. Kaoln, apparently miffed at not being addressed by her new name, snorted, derisively._

_"Like WHO? Pretty much all the other Jedi that would have known you enough for you to send a distress signal to are dead, and any other Jedi doesn't have the experience or the ex-Force training to survive on this hunk of rock." Kaoln shot back, but Mehgan understood, quite plainly, that Kendalina didn't want to see her._

_"Kendalina, why are you going to be killed?" Mehgan pressed. Kendalina didn't look at her old master, but Kaoln eventually asked the question, as Kendalina was apparently ignoring Mehgan._

_"They found out I'm a Jedi." She said, simply. Mehgan had to stare, but Kaoln didn't seem to understand any better._

_"Wha? But you don't even USE the Force anymore, I thought... ever since we left Myrkr, you just used your chakra or ki or whatever..." Kendalina shot Kaoln a look that made her shut up._

_"Yeah, I don't..." She said, impatiently, before nodding to her son, "But THIS ONE isn't like me."_

_Both Mehgan and Kaoln blinked._

_"Someone tried to attack him with a bottle of acid. I had an... issue... with that, so I got in the way, and HE had a temper tantrum that killed three people and turned the room upside down. That's how they found out." Mehgan started for a moment, but then saw, quite clearly, what Kendalina meant- her hair covered it, but over the left half of her face, Kendalina had acid burns that still looked fresh, practically unhealed. Kendalina didn't seem to even care._

_"So, someone figured it out because of that boy, or did they just blame it on you?" Kaoln asked. Kendalina simply shrugged._

_"The man who pegged me as a Jedi knew me well enough, anyway- I don't know what he told the troops as soon as he disappeared, but either way, I can't take that chance." Kendalina replied, but she still didn't look in Mehgan's direction. Kaoln seemed to understand, though._

_"That's why you want to get that one off planet- just in case someone figures it out or the guy who fingered you blabs." Kaoln surmised, before grinning, slyly, "But why pick ME for this job? I'm not getting anything out of it, it's only gonna cause me problems, and frankly, I'm still mad at you for screwin' with my vocal chords. Sure, I was being a two-faced bitch at the time, but you were being a bitch, too, sealing my voice up like that."_

_Kendalina gave Kaoln a Look. She ignored it._

_"Really, shouldn't you be asking someone like... I dunno..." Kaoln gave a very exaggerated, dramatic pause, which appropriately set the mood, "Maybe that old teacher of yours? What was her name? Something-something-Maggie, or was that just the nickname she had from the other Knights?"_

_Kaoln had pushed too far, as was evidenced by the fact that Kendalina buried her toe into the other woman's stomach, quite promptly. Vaguely, Mehgan wondered if she should feel insulted that she was being talked about as though she weren't there, or if she should be relieved that Kendalina was still acting normal enough to try and defend her honor._

_"I called YOU here to do it, damn it!" Kendalina snarled, even as the little one Kaoln had not taken from her arms started to squall a little, "This isn't something Master Retaw can do."_

_The words seemed to ignite something inside Mehgan- almost like anger, but not quite that bad, and tempered with some kind of fluster at the indirect insult. Indignation- that was it. She was indignant that Kendalina had, essentially, forgotten that Mehgan, despite being second-class Jedi for her entire career, was still exceptionally good at what she COULD do._

_"Kendalina Orewahime, I'm sure you don't MEAN to speak of me as though I am not here- I KNOW you were raised better than that." Mehgan finally put in, severely. Kendalina didn't jump, but she did turn and glare at her old teacher. Mehgan glared right back, before Kendalina let out a sigh as she looked away._

_"I'll rephrase then- Even as I'm sure you CAN do this task I'm asking of Kao-Lin, I do not WANT you to be the one to do it." Even Kao-Lin looked taken aback by this statement, as Mehgan blinked in surprise. Kendalina huffed and turned away, "This child has to be taken away and kept safe. I can't do that myself, because it would mean several consequences- one, they'll track me, somehow, and then the both of us will get caught, two, if I escape, Triclops will be beaten and tortured to bring me back, three, if I evade my own execution, the troops have been ordered to round up a sample of innocent prisoners, most of them who probably never even HEARD of me, and that if I resist or try to run for it, they will die in my stead." Kendalina was still not looking in Mehgan's direction._

_"So... this child is Triclops and yours..." Mehgan finally said. It was a stupid question- the child looked so much like Kendalina there could be no doubt about it, and there was still that fact that only Triclops would be the father if Kendalina had allowed the pregnancy to finish- but one that seemed to bring Kendalina to her senses._

_"Yeah. This is our son." Kendalina replied. Mehgan stared, nonplussed for a moment, before she saw the boy stir and one of his eyes crack open, the littlest sliver of gray iris peering out._

_"This boy... is he..." Mehgan said, slowly. Kaoln frowned between the two of them, even as Kendalina still wasn't looking in Mehgan's direction, "...Like you?"_

_"No- he's not blind." Kendalina assured her, "His eyes are just gray." Mehgan looked between Kendalina and her son, frowning, until her anxiety got the better of her._

_"Kendalina..." You're being an idiot- get out of here. Don't you know what this will do to Triclops? I understand- but why don't you want ME to do this? What if that power-crazed jerk who gave you away isn't satisfied with just killing you? "How much time?"_

_"Dunno... Triclops is hiding, and I KNOW the Kommandant wants him to watch this, 'cuz he's a sadistic bastard like that. So far, he's bought me a few hours. It'll probably still be some time before the Kommandant gives up or Triclops is found." Mehgan felt her heart pounding against her breastbone, painfully. The fact that Kendalina so easily accepted that she was going to die... hurt, somehow. It was so painful that Mehgan almost wanted..._

_To hit her._

_The blow almost connected, but Kendalina's legs were quick, and stopped Mehgan's arm before it even got close. With the lightest of touch, Kendalina kicked Mehgan away, jumping back in the process, while Kaoln looked on, sighing with exasperation._

_"Think of the baby, you idiot- he'll get hurt if you do that." Kendalina shouted. Mehgan glared at her old apprentice._

_"Oh, so I'm an idiot, that's what you're saying." She spat. Kendalina glared back._

_"Yes, I am- you're being a sentimental, hot-headed, ill-tempered..." Kendalina's voice cracked, "Idiot." Mehgan blinked, taken aback for a moment- she had never, in all her time with Kendalina, heard the girl's voice crack. Suddenly, this was happening before her eyes, and Mehgan realized that Kendalina was trying her best to hold back tears._

_"Kendalina..." Mehgan murmured, quietly. Kendalina still wasn't meeting her eyes, and it was making Mehgan impatient, more than ever, before she marched over and looked down at her old padawan, still like a disapproving parent. While she'd seen Kendalina cry before, it was almost always from some horrible thing her father had done to her, or because she'd hurt herself, but the streaks down Kendalina's cheeks were somewhat different this time... they seemed... well, quiet, for one thing._

_"...This is why... I didn't want to ask you to do this." Kendalina whispered. Mehgan blinked, surprised, for a moment, before Kendalina added, "...It almost seemed... cruel. It would be like you inviting Master Windu to your wedding as the best man or..."_

_Mehgan felt something throb inside of her- her heart felt like her cardiac muscles hadn't been properly stretched before exercising, and she was suddenly very aware of how her chest rose and fell as she breathed, almost as though it was heaving. For some reason, Mehgan tried to force her breath to even, to lose that quality of gasping that made her feel like she was crying, even though her eyes were perfectly dry... it seemed so shameful, that she was being so emotional._

_"Kendalina... I..." Mehgan's sentence, whatever it had been, was cut off as Kendalina held out her arms and the son in them. For a moment, Mehgan didn't know what to do, but her arms moved on their own, reaching out and took the child from his mother. The boy didn't even twitch, but continued to sleep, completely unaware that anything was wrong and things around him were changing. Mehgan couldn't help but stare at the little face that looked so much like Kendalina's little face had, before she felt something else pressed to her- Kendalina's arms were around her waist and her head cautiously rested against one of her biceps, as though she were afraid of hurting her. Mehgan blinked down at Kendalina- she was so short compared to her own 180 centimeters, almost as though Kendalina hadn't grown at all._

_"I know." Kendalina murmured, voice choked, "I know." Then, she pulled back and kissed her son on his forehead, "Kendal, you be nice to Baba Maggie- she's gonna take good care of you while I'm gone, so don't give her any trouble. And this is for when you get older- she gave it to me when I was little, so you take good care of it, okay?"_

_Mehgan blinked at Kendalina for a moment, staring as she took a small pendant from inside her disguise of armor. It was half of the Chalactan faith stone- the one Depa had given to Mehgan, who had then given it to Kendalina- it must have broken in half at some point, but at least it was a clean break. Kendalina tucked it inside the blanket next to Kendal with the chain still attached. Mehgan stared for a long moment, before smiling._

_"Better- I'll protect him if it costs me my life." She promised. Kendalina straightened and looked straight into Mehgan's eyes at that, almost in shock. It was to be expected, Mehgan supposed._

_"...I really didn't want to ask this of you... Knowing that it would be such an insult." Kendalina muttered again, but, to Mehgan's own surprise, she was smiling, herself._

_"Kendalina, did you forget who I am?" She asked. Kendalina frowned, tilting her head to the side, before Mehgan, shaking her head with exasperation, sighed, "If it is for my padawan, I can do ANYTHING." Kendalina's eyes went wide for a moment, almost as though on purpose, before she sighed, herself._

_"For what it's worth, you were a wonderful mother." Kendalina said, quietly._

_Mehgan smiled, hoisting Kendal up, into the pouch between her breasts to keep him safe and warm, even while she used her arms, before pulling Kendalina into a real hug. For a moment, it almost felt like they were still Master and Apprentice, or that single snapshot of a moment before being forced to leave the Temple, but a cough in the background interrupted it._

_"Um, we kinda have to go." Kaoln put in. Mehgan released Kendalina, before turning and reentering the ship. Kendalina could be seen on the ground, watching, even as they blasted off._

_Several hours later, Mehgan felt a pang in her chest, through the Force, and if Kaoln's reaction was any indicator, she had felt it too._

_Kendalina was dead._

* * *

"My bad, Master Retaw, but this is as far as I can take you- any more system hopping for this ship and authorities watching the ports'll start recognizing this little bitty ship that keeps making routine pattern stops." Kaoln said, making sure that nobody was eavesdropping at the port. Mehgan kept her head bowed over the mug of lum that Kaoln's spare credits had bought her- the cantina was sleazy enough that she had a vague feeling they were being watched, but at the same time, it was so crowded and gaudy and full of pirates, smugglers, and rogues that she somewhat doubted anybody cared about politics enough to listen for details.

Loose morals were both a blessing and a curse- it all depended on how much empathy a particular vagabond had and how hungry they were that day.

"That's alright- I can hire a ship to take me as far as I plan." Granted, it would be difficult, but there was still the one pilot desperate for credits who would go anywhere, do anything, and ask no questions.

"What're you going to tell them if they bug you over going to THAT place? It's completely uninhabited, except for a few ruined temples the Massassai left behind." Kaoln grumbled. Mehgan shrugged the objection away.

"That's the very excuse I'll use if it comes to that- I'm an archaeologist and historian studying ancient cultures that have gone extinct. The Massassai temples are perfect cover for that." Mehgan pointed out, "Besides, if I go missing in there, my transport won't be too worried or pry into it- even smugglers will report suspicious activity, especially if they think the suspicious person might pose a threat to them later on. If I disappeared after asking for transport to Coruscant or somewhere else, even a rogue would turn me in, anonymously, thinking they could nab some reward money for turning in a Jedi or some other wanted radical."

Kaoln aimed a kick at Mehgan's leg under the table, but was stopped.

"And what about the little guy?" She asked. Mehgan glanced, surreptitiously, down at the bulge in her shirt where her breasts extended. Her robe covered it, but if someone had looked closely enough, they might have seen the fold of skin that was the opening to her pouch, where the infant Kendal was sleeping, although restlessly. Mehgan knew- she could feel him kicking. Nobody else could have possibly known she was carrying a baby around right next to her heart.

Kaoln sighed, heavily, before chugging the rest of her own whiskey and standing.

"She'ya round, then." And then, she disappeared. Mehgan continued to stare down into her mug, before picking up the toothpicks and spearing a dumpling ball. Inside her pouch, Mehgan could feel Kendal kicking and squirming, this time with active impatience enough that she bowed her head lower enough to hide him from view as she reached in, pulled the baby out, and gave him a bottle.

"That's just it, Kaoln." She muttered, heart heavy as she watched Kendalina's son gnaw on the bottle nub, "You won't."

* * *

This place was, indeed, the perfect place to hide a Jedi child. Mehgan had never heard any of the Masters talking about it, but during all the time that Kendalina and Triclops had spent in the archives, trying to find information about Triclops' background or medical Force-powers so Kendalina could continue learning to be a medic without Master Yaddle, it had been something interesting that one of them had come across.

The wall was marble, but the color was green, like decaying copper. Suiting, she supposed- a bright white marble wall would stand out in a rainforest, wouldn't it? Inwardly, Mehgan had wondered what she was going to do if it had turned out to not really exist, but considering that it had, and that so few of even the Jedi had known of it's existence, the City was the perfect place.

After all, if even Master Yoda had dismissed this place as just a legend, the new Emperor probably didn't even know the legend existed.

The trip down the elevator shaft was enough to make Mehgan sick and dizzy and by the time she'd reached her destination, she was feeling nice and queasy. It didn't help that she immediately attracted the attention of, not a Human, or even a living being, but a droid. And next to it was another droid. And another.

"Oh... this is why nobody knew about this place for centuries..." Mehgan murmured to herself. Nowhere in sight was there a living being, except for herself and Kendal.

"State your name and identify who sent you." Immediately buzzed a nearby droid that was built into the wall. Mehgan kept calm, despite the shock she'd just received. The City was operated completely by droids- she could understand that. After all, living creatures were unreliable. They could be manipulated, deceived, or betrayed. Droids were zeros and ones in a shape. They were impervious to this. And, besides, living beings needed food and water and air and sunlight. Droids needed no such things.

Efficient.

"Jedi Mehgan Retaw. I was not sent by anyone, specifically." Mehgan replied, curtly. The droid speaking let out a low beep that sounded foreboding.

"There is no record of Jedi Retaw- Jedi by that identification was expelled from the Order." It replied. Mehgan stared at the droid for a moment, wondering how far arguing could get her. And, if she did argue, what would the consequences be?

"I was accepted back into the Order during a session that was not on record. During that same session, I submitted my padawan for the trials- she became the youngest ever appointed Jedi Knight." The droid didn't respond to this, so Mehgan pushed a little further, "I was assigned a mission to the Exploration Regions a year before the Order fell, was on my way back when the betrayal at the Temple occurred..."

The droid still showed no signs of registering, before it said something rather unexpected.

"Please proceed to the library and see DJ-88." Mehgan would have frowned at it, but didn't question as she was at least being let into the place. Though, it was still unnerving to be watched like an animal in a zoo as she tried to navigate her way to the "Library" and droids everywhere stopped and stared at her.

'You'd think they'd never seen a girl before. Wait...' Of COURSE none of them had ever seen a girl before. Or, probably, a boy for that matter. It was strange, but not a single thing seemed to be living in this place. Half of that was probably because the cavern was kilometers underground, with no sunlight for even plants, but there was still that strange feel to it- the pathways were lit with white lights and lined with glowing stones that made the whole cavern seem brighter than it really was. Everything was made in a dome shape on the floor- no squares, no pillars, no pyramids, nothing but the domes. Even the trees and brush that had been added, no doubt when the City hadn't yet become Lost, were fake, plastic and cloth.

"Padawan Orewahime had become a Knight? And a medic? All before the age of fourteen?" Asked a new mechanical voice as Mehgan entered a purely white building. Looking for the speaker, Mehgan frowned to see an imposing humanoid droid hooked into the computer system. She had missed it completely in the sterilized environment, but now that she saw it, the shape of its face was very distinct and clear. The only things about it that weren't white were the visual receptors, which glowed red like royal gems.

"She bragged about always being the 'Greatest Jedi Who Ever Lived'. And I'd say she showed pretty much the whole galaxy that she was right." Mehgan said, almost sourly. The droid's humanoid features included a beard which made her feel incredibly disdainful of the poor taste of the mechanic whom had built these droids.

"Our database is in serious need of updating if this information is not in our banks." The droid intoned. Mehgan refrained from snorting in derision. She had a job to do here.

"She survived the Purge, too- spent years in Exile on Myrkr learning alternative ways to survive without the Force, in case she should ever need it." Mehgan said, blandly, "Taught her apprentice as much as the girl would learn. Even had a run in with the Sith and survived."

The droid's ruby eyes flickered in their light- Mehgan supposed that was as close as a droid could come to blinking- before it extended a hand and stretched a finger out to baby Kendal, whom was clapping and gurgling with delight before reaching up and grabbing the finger in his own, chubby hands and pulling it to his mouth to gnaw at.

"And this boy is hers?" The droid asked. Mehgan nodded, silently, "And the father is that boy?" Mehgan blinked, before there was a beep from the computer the droid was still hooked up to. On the screen, Mehgan saw a holo come up of a scene that Mehgan hadn't seen in years, undoubtedly lifted from a security cam- a holorecording of a little girl in boy's Jedi robes pulling an awkward, gangly boy with filthy white hair and torn clothes out from behind the shelving compartment of a cargo transport.

"...Yes... Triclops was the father." Mehgan replied, slowly, eyes still locked on the screen. The droid didn't seem to notice, but rather, took Kendal out of Mehgan's arms. The boy was still cooing and making nonsense gestures with his hands and arms, even as the droid held him. Mehgan felt as though that whole part of the world had fallen away, eyes still on that repeating holorecording, watching every last move of the children versions of Kendalina and Triclops on their first meeting- how Kendalina's toes had curled every time her fingers flexed, how Triclops' eyes had twitched so much, how their movements had contrasted the others, how very DIFFERENT they had been from the adults they'd grown into.

She had been so angry and resentful and jealous of Triclops when he'd first appeared. Now, she almost wanted to cry, seeing this single moment that would never, ever be tangible. It was left behind in the past and gone, just like the two children in the moment, just like the two people they had been. Kendalina was dead now, and Triclops was God-Knew-Where.

"What was the highest rank that Jedi Orewahime achieved before the birth of this child?" The droid was asking, again. Mehgan continued to stare at the repeating recording, pondering her answer.

"...Officially, she was promoted to Knight. She was thirteen when she received this appointment. The Order fell a year later." But still, just saying she had been a Jedi Knight... didn't do it justice. Kendalina hadn't really even been a Jedi- she had expanded into something else. A combination of Jedi and Non-Jedi. She did not just use the Force, she had BEEN the Force, had been it's puppet and partner and puller-of-strings. What to say about that?

"A Princess." Mehgan heard the words come out of her mouth. The droid holding Kendal did not respond, so Mehgan continued, "Kendalina was... the Jedi Princess."

After a long, long period of silence, only interrupted by the small clanking of Kendal's fists randomly beating on the droid's metal skin and infantly chuckles, the droid confirmed this information.

"We shall update our records." He assured her. Mehgan didn't hear him- she was still watching the recording of Triclops crawling out from his hiding place. The tape skipped and returned to an image of Kendalina kneeling down, then reaching in and pulling him out again, "The boy's name, Jedi Retaw?"

One of Mehgan's hands lifted, touching the screen as Kendalina repeated in the motion of pulling Triclops out. She almost looked like an attending doctor trying to pull out a stubborn infant who simply didn't want to be born, which, Mehgan supposed, Kendalina had been for Triclops on that day.

Mehgan felt her mouth open, like she wanted to say something, but her voice wouldn't work and her lips couldn't form the letters that had been Kendalina's name. Only now was it occurring to her, with a searing, horrible, horrible pain in her chest that Kendal's presence had numbed, that the little girl who she had raised, cared for, taught, and loved, the little girl whom had grown, lived, survived, thrived, fought for her honor, and grown to be more important than anything in the galaxy for her...

Kendalina was gone, now.

"...Ken..." Was all Mehgan could manage to say without crying, "...Ken..."

"Ken, then. Named after his mother?" The droid asked.

Mehgan didn't answer.

* * *

_Dalhouise didn't look back to the face of the prisoner he was leading away. He had no business interacting with her- she was just a nuisance that was about to be dealt with. To be precise, shot._

_"I'll bet Kaa-Oh and Toh-Ma are nice and proud of you for turning out to be a murdering bastard, just like all of our perfect cousins, huh, Nii-Nii?" The prisoner sniped. Dalhouise ignored her. It was not her place to speak, but it wasn't as though the noises she was making were actually WORDS._

_Prisoners are lower. They aren't Human- they're just animals. They cannot think. They cannot speak. Treat them as such. It was the first rule ever._

_"But I'll bet Grandmere's gonna leave a switch in YOUR shoe this year- she was always nice, except to the cousins and Jiis and Baas and Kaa-Oh and Toh-Ma, because they were always nasty. Yeah, I'll bet she'll tan your hide, nice and raw this year."_

_While Dalhouise was conditioned to ignore her, the troops walking with them were becoming increasingly edgy. One kept asking him to do something to shut her up, but Dalhouise merely sent him a glare which ceased all complaints._

_"What's Master Retaw gonna say if she heard about this? I'll bet she'd be pissed with you. Hell, I'll tell ya what she'd say- she'd say, 'You were such a cute little kid, what went WRONG?' that's what!"_

_Dalhouise spun and almost knocked Girl off of her feet, except she ducked, quickly. The troops moved aside as Dalhouise continued attacking, while Girl continued dodging, until she seemingly tired and used one of her legs to block his blow. There was something in those blind, freakish eyes that were not possibly from the Zuka line, something that made Dalhouise nervous._

_"You..." Girl hissed, in an almost triumphant voice, "You were in love with Master Retaw." For the first time in years, Dalhouise felt his face warping into a very displeased expression. Somehow, something about Girl just IRRITATED him._

_"That's why you're doing this- you're trying to force me to turn. And even if that doesn't work, at least you can just kill me, and she won't be distracted, right?" Dalhouise attacked again, this time even sloppier than before. Girl didn't even need to dodge, "Nii-Nii, didn't you learn anything from OUR parents- that's not how it works. Master Retaw just likes girls- that's not her fault, your fault, or my fault. It just HAPPENS."_

_"My parents..." Dalhouise hissed, "Were FOOLS. And they got what they deserved. Leave them out of this." His fist came around and Girl flipped completely out of the way._

_Why the HELL weren't the troopers firing?_

_"'Deserved?' Nii-Nii, what do you mean by that?" Girl was on her feet a safe distance away from attacking range, but Dalhouise didn't care. He shut his eyes once, then opened them. He saw Girl start, staring right back at him. Or, really, at his eyes, "...You didn't..."_

_"Welcome to the life of an avenger, Girl." Dalhouise sneered, "Short as it was, you will die, unfulfilled, not having restored the honor of the clan by killing their murderer." Girl continued to stare, "Now move, quietly, or more will not be avenged."_

_The rest of the walk to the cell was utterly silent, but, just as Dalhouise turned to lock the door, he heard Girl snort in derisive laughter._

_"Nii-Nii... you're assuming I'm GOING to die today."_

_Dalhouise looked back at Girl. Those gray eyes were staring back at him, challenging, glowing in the darkness. For a long moment, they tried to stare each other down, before Dalhouise turned, shut the door, and locked it._

A/N: This is the end of Princess.

And the beginning of Prince.


End file.
